Hi, I'm Dave Pundit

Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/02/12

2012-02-03T09:39:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Thank God the transfer window has slammed shut, I can't be doing with all that 'this teams after that player' nonsense and all the breaking news, dear God. The only breaking news I'm interested in is when it's referring to some fragile foreigner's leg.

Arsenal v Blackburn
Arsenal have been pretty lucky this year, they're full of foreigners who can't take a two footed tackle without snapping a fibula but somehow they've still managed to climb their way up to seventh. Luckily we all know their season falls apart in February so I expect Blackburn to batter them here.
Verdict: 0-2

Norwich v Bolton
On one hand Norwich have had a fantastic season so far but on the other hand the job isn't finished yet and on the other hand Norwich have been very good at home but on the the other hand Bolton are improving rapidly. It's a tough one to call this one but I think Norwich might just have the upper hand.
Verdict: 1-0

QPR v Wolves
This is one of those games that when you look at it you assume it's actually a League One match and someone's written the fixture list down wrong. But apparently they are both in the Premier League. Luckily with Mick McCarthy and Mark Hughes at the helm there won't be anyone attempting to play Premier League football. This should be a good old fashioned street fight, and that's what football is all about.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v Sunderland
Now THIS is a Premier League game. Martin O'Neill's Sunderland are resurgent like an unstoppable force but they're coming up against the immovable object of Stoke at home. Neither team will give an inch and this entire game will end up being a bloodbath in the centre circle. I'm literally wetting my proverbial pants in excitement.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Swansea
One of these teams is foreign and the other is managed by a foreigner who can barely speak the Queen's English. Y'know it's, like, a tragedy that footy, like, has come to this I tells you. If I could summon up the ability to care I'd probably say this will be some kind of horrendous high scoring draw with a load of goal mouth action and pleasant passages of passing play. Horrific.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Everton
It's looking very bleak for Wigan and we can only hope it looks even bleaker after this fixture. I have nothing against the club per se but they've made their bed by hiring a foreigner and now they have to lie in it. C'est la vie as they say. I personally would never have anything to do with anything that wasn't 100% English. That's why I like David Moyes so much he may be at the club on the wrong side of Liverpool but he knows how to get a team to grind their way through a season.
Verdict: 0-1

Man City v Fulham
Despite losing in midweek I can't see Man City slipping up here. They are far superior to Fulham especially since Fulham have sold the future of English football, Bobby Zamora. It's a ridiculous decision from a manager who might fool some people with his English sounding first name, but he's not fooling me.
Verdict: 3-0

Newcastle v Aston Villa
Newcastle have been playing brilliantly this year, and I can see them getting another good result here. Despite Villa's strong English spine of Dunne, Ireland and Keane they don't seem to have gelled as a team under Alex McLeish. It's probably because he's ginger.
Verdict: 2-1

Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is a real humdinger. Man Utd are once again pushing for the title but going to Chelsea is never easy. I think it's perfectly fair that John Terry's court date has been postponed, if you can't circumvent the law when your the England captain then when can you? People think John Terry might be off his game because of it but as far as I'm concerned he has nothing to worry about, he's as right as right can be and this case will prove that. He'll come out of it whiter than white I'm sure.
Verdict: 1-1

Liverpool v Tottenham
It doesn't get much better than this, two great clubs going for it hammer and tongs. Tottenham sitting in third literally couldn't be better placed and Liverpool are on the up and challenging for fourth, what a top of the table clash this could be. Of course Harry Redknapp has his own off the pitch troubles and I feel for him, I really do. I personally never got big lumps of cash of anyone when I was playing so I don't know what it's like but I remember seeing Bruce Grobbelaar after some guy had paid a massive chunk into his bank account once and he really struggled to play well the next game, threw away two stupid goals as I recall. It's funny what a bit of cash does for your mental state. So this is really the wrong time for him to be facing King Kenny, the finest manager this country has ever produced.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/01/12

2012-01-20T09:33:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The transfer window is really hotting up now, with rumours flying and players swapping clubs like they're Top Trump cards. It really is an exciting time of the year unless of course, like me, you remember a time when there was no transfer window and see this time as some kind of foreign abomination. Hopefully we can see some foreigners shipped out during January.

Norwich v Chelsea
Gary Cahill has signed for Chelsea and I think that's a great move for him. He can learn from the master himself, John Terry. There's no doubt Cahill is a raw talent, he has pace, mobility and technical prowess and hopefully under the tutelage of the Englishman's Englishman he'll be able to lose all those and rely on grit and reputation alone. Carrow Road is a difficult place to go, the crowd often become the 12th man for Norwich and when you combine that with the 12 fingers and toes that they all have it gives them quite an advantage, but if anyone can cope Terry-Cahill can.
Verdict: 1-2

Everton v Blackburn
Both teams could really do with a win here, Everton are in a run of indifferent form and are looking distinctly average, Blackburn have looked a little better than average recently but that still only makes them poor. So they'll both have to go for it here. Let's hope it lives up to everyone's expectations.
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Newcastle
Newcastle proved they are ready to make the step up to the big time last week, if a 1-0 win over QPR where they barely had a shot on target other than the goal doesn't show that I don't know what does. Alan Pardew is a British manager with pedigree he's managed sleeping giants Southampton, Charlton and West Ham whereas Martin Jol has never managed a big club. Pardew's class will show through here.
Verdict: 0-2

QPR v Wigan
Mark Hughes will want to bring some fresh ideas to QPR and after getting his first win under his belt in the FA Cup this week he'll want his players to literally kick on against Wigan, Wigan are one of those teams that have to be playing well to win and I don't think there's any place for that in the Premier League. If I wanted to see teams play well I'd move to Spain.
Verdict: 1-0

Stoke v West Brom
There's no issues about Stoke playing well. They wouldn't know how if they tried, which they don't. They play a game based on brute strength, attrition and rugby style punts up the park. If that's not what football's about then my name's not Dave Pundit. Which it is. It's on my birth certificate right next to father unknown.
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v Swansea
The sooner Scotland breaks away from Britain the better, then we can get rid of Wales too. England should be England as far as I'm concerned and all the other countries in Britain are just moochers that are good for nothing. Let's hope that fine upstanding Brit Martin O'Neill can see off these Welshies for good.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Aston Villa
I love a good derby game and I can't see this being anything other than a good derby game. Two mid-to-low table teams kicking lumps out of each other in the middle of the park while both goalies stand idle, thinking of their half time fag. Just like the good old days. It's always tough going up against your bitterest rivals and unless you count West Brom and Birmingham then there are no bitterer when it comes to the Midlands. And let's face it, who counts West Brom and Birmingham?
Verdict: 0-0

Bolton v Liverpool
Gone are the glory days for Bolton. It's all been downhill since Gary Megson left. Liverpool will have one eye on the Carling Cup but even with one eye on that they could beat Bolton with one eye closed and both hands tied behind their back. And knowing the FA that's probably exactly how they'd like to see Liverpool play, it's a conspiracy I tell you. What possible other reason could there be for Liverpool's lack of trophies recently?
Verdict: 0-3

Man City v Tottenham
When Mancini started waving that imaginary card at the ref I lost all respect for him, that's just not the way we do things in England, if you want a player sent off then you ask your most English player to have a word with the ref, and if that doesn't work then the whole team should surround him and shout abuse in his face until he relents. Waving a card around is just unsportsmanlike. Luckily everything Harry Redknapp does is above board and without reproach so I'm going to plump for Tottenham here.
Verdict: 1-2

Arsenal v Man Utd
Arsenal will be seeking revenge for their 8-2 drubbing at Old Trafford earlier in the season but they'll be lucky if they escape this game with a point. If they can't even cope with Swansea how will they fare when they come up against Man Utd? It speaks volumes that Arsenal are relying on a has-been like Henry to keep them going. Man Utd have the quality of players like Ferdinand and Scholes to call on here and they'll walk this one. That said I can't see this being another 10 goal thriller!
Verdict: 4-6

Dave Pundit's Predictions 14/01/12

2012-01-13T09:56:00.006Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people asked why I didn't make any predictions for the FA Cup, well the truth is I've fallen out of love with the cup, the romance has gone. Nowadays there doesn't seem to be any of the old magic. Where are the ding dong battles between rivals? The dubious sendings off? The memorable goals? The cameos from players long since thought past it? Or lower league teams knocking out Premier League clubs? None of that happens anymore.

Aston Villa v Everton
I think the signing of Keane was a canny one for Villa. Yes he's been playing abroad but that won't have knocked the British grit out of him. He'll be up for this, an old-fashioned mid-table clashes where neither team is in any real danger of relegation but are unlikely to be getting a European place either. In my day these were ten-a-penny, turgid, dull affairs with little passion aside from the odd nasty tackle or personal grudge. Thank God those glorious days aren't gone completely eh?
Verdict: 0-0

Blackburn v Fulham
Fulham destroyed Arsenal in their last Premier League match but this won't be such an easy ride for them, Blackburn aren't some pansy bunch of foreigners you know. Blackburn are British through and through. Except for their owners I suppose. But their manager is Scottish and I can't see Scotland becoming a separate country any time soon so that's something. Fulham on the other hand have a foreign manager but a good old British owner. What's more British than Harrods? This one'll have to be a draw.
Verdict: 1-1

Chelsea v Sunderland
It's no surprise to me that Martin O'Neill has got Sunderland playing well, what sets him apart from his predecessor is that O'Neill learnt his trade under Brian Clough, a true legend of the game. If only Steve Bruce had a role model of that ilk he might have made a better fist of management. Sunderland will still lose here though. They may be good but being good will only get you so far. John Terry didn't get where he is today by being good.
Verdict: 2-0

Liverpool v Stoke
This really is a clash of the Titans. But with Stevie G back and at his brilliant best for Liverpool there can only be one winner here. He's the sort of player that really gets the team running hard, chasing his passes, having to control his Hollywood balls, you can't relax when Gerrard's on your team, oh no. He's the sort of guy who can pump the ball 50 yards upfield and make things happen, Stoke don't have anything to match that I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-0

Man Utd v Bolton
It's the sign of a good team that they can play badly and win and Man Utd are masters at it. Whereas Bolton this year are only half way there. I think United's win against City in the cup will be a real shot in the arm, especially as they now have a derby game in the next round to look forward to, which should finally bring some excitement to the cup. I can't see Bolton getting anything here.
Verdict: 3-1

Tottenham v Wolves
I've just been watching an interview with the Wolves owner Steve Morgan which was really encouraging. They asked Morgan why he never comes out and talks about his manager Mick McCarthy and he said: "Why would I want to do that and destabilise the club?" I think he was right to come out and talk about not coming out. It's difficult for a manager when your Chairman comes out, you just have to bend over and take it, so kudos to Mr Morgan for not coming out. Still he can not come out all he likes; it won't stop Wolves getting a good, hard rogering from Tottenham here.
Verdict: 3-0

West Brom v Norwich
This is a hard one to predict. Mainly because I couldn't care less about it.
Verdict: 1-2

Newcastle v QPR
I think it's a real shame that Neil Warnock got sacked, he was a proper English manage in this league full of foreigners. It's a crying shame that one of them didn't get the sack instead. Warnock didn't waste time with all that tactical nous and training he just shouted at his players and told them they were crap. That's what man-management is all about. Hopefully Mark Hughes will carry on his sterling work. It's always a lift for the players when a new boss comes in so I can see QPR getting something here.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Arsenal
You have to ask yourself where the goals are going to come from for Arsenal. They just have no pedigree up front. Swansea aren't a good team, they're Welsh, but even they are more British than Arsenal. I just can't see this being a game worth watching at all I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Man City
Do you know what I hate about Martinez? He's always whinging and moaning about things. He should take a leaf from Mancini's book, things are tough for the Man City manager right now, a loss of form, a threadbare squad and the realisation that they're no match for the mighty Liverpool have all knocked him for six but do you hear him moan about his lot? No. Let's hope the best man wins this one.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 02/01/12

2012-01-02T08:51:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Like an over-excited virgin the games come thick and fast at this time of year. For a pundit it's hard to keep your predictions fresh and avoid cliche, it can leave you sick as a parrot. But as Winston Churchill said: as long as you give 110% you'll be over the moon.

Aston Villa v Swansea
Any team that can beat Chelsea must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that McLeish has based his success at Villa on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, rigged and inflexible. The likes of Bent, Ireland and Dunne are proud Brits and that's why they'll beat the thoroughly un-British Welshies here.
Verdict: 2-0

Blackburn v Stoke
Any team that can beat Man Utd must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that Kean has based his success at Blackburn on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, full of grit. But when it comes to grit Stoke have more than a bad oyster. Could this be the year's grittiest fixture? Yes it could. It's all downhill for 2012 after this I reckon.
Verdict: 1-1

QPR v Norwich
After a solid start QPR have struggled whereas Norwich gone from strength to strength and few would have predicted that at the beginning of the season. Of course it's been all hands on deck at times for both teams but in that situation Norwich have a clear numerical advantage.
Verdict: 0-1

Wolves v Chelsea
There has been a lot of talk that Villas-Boas has lost the dressing room, something I used to do frequently when I was a player, but Villas-Boas doesn't look drunk. If I were him I'd stop trying to manage the team and just let the likes of John Terry take over. AVB has got his tactics all wrong but John Terry wouldn't bother with luxuries like tactics he'd just win games through the sheer strength of his will. If John Terry's will was a person it would be Geoff Capes. Or John Terry.
Verdict: 0-2

Fulham v Arsenal
Robin Van Persie scored 35 goals in a calendar year. So what? It's seasons that count not years. What can't be ignored, though, is that Arsenal are a one man team and they might rest that man today. Even Fulham should be able to beat a team that has no men in it, just foreigners.
Verdict: 1-0

Tottenham v West Brom
Tottenham took their foot of the gas against Swansea and paid the price. You won't make up any points against the teams above you with a draw. Still Tottenham are bona fide title challengers if you ask me and that's down to one man: Harry Redknapp. He's not a man to get bogged down by calendar years. It's seasons that count with him. Calendar years, academic years, tax years, none of these matter a jot to Harry. He's football through and through.
Verdict: 2-1

Wigan v Sunderland
Any team that can beat Man City must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that O'Neill has based his success at Sunderland on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, determined and pumped full of testosterone. Wigan have had a few good results themselves recently but that's just down to pure luck. Their manager is too foreign to understand the true nature of backbones like us Englishers.
Verdict: 0-1

Man City v Liverpool
The game of the weekend without a shadow of a doubt. If there's one thing you can guarantee in this game it's goals. You just can't see Man City drawing a blank at the moment, they have so much fire power up front. But talking of fire power Liverpool have got Gerrard back. Add him to the likes of Carroll, Henderson and Downing and you've got goals aplenty. This game could go either way, but as it's a top four clash I'll have to say it'll be a draw.
Verdict: 2-2

Everton v Bolton
Everton are playing good football at the moment, not for them the big scoring flashy stuff the score one goal per game at the most and that's good enough for them. Bolton on the other hand are shipping goals like they're going out of fashion. Let's hope they are.
Verdict: 0-0

Newcastle v Man Utd
The rumours are that Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson have had a bit of a falling out but I expect him to come back here with all guns blazing. Say what you like about Rooney he has never been anything but 100% committed to Man Utd. In fact when I think of Wayne Rooney I think of commitment. He even spent Boxing Day with his wife for God's sake. How much more committed can you get? I'd've been straight down the pub. She's a lucky woman that Coleen Nolan-Rooney.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/12/11

2011-12-30T10:00:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I hate New Year's Eve. The pubs are packed with amateur drinkers, you have to pay to go into the same pub you've been drinking in for free all year and you can never get to the toilet because of all the twelve year old chavs snorting washing powder off the seats and thinking they're getting a real buzz. Listen to me, I sound like someone off that Grumpy Old Men programme, I hate that programme. It's just a bunch of old farts with no real problems pretending to hate stuff for a cheap laugh.

Liverpool v Newcastle
Poor old Liverpool, they're being persecuted from all sides at the minute. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only pundit who is on their side. It seems to me like the FA have got it in for Liverpool, they're trying to stop us being successful, give some other teams a chance to win something for once I guess. Still they won't stop us winning this match, Andy Carroll will want to show Newcastle what they're missing, they've struggled to replace the goals that he gets that's for sure.
Verdict: 2-0

Man United v Blackburn
It doesn't seem that long ago that people were writing off Man Utd's chances of winning the league and yet if they get even a point here they'll be top of the tree come the new year. It just goes to show that you can never, ever write Man Utd off and anyone who does is an idiot. They're unwriteoffable. They're just too good to write off. They won't win the league, obviously, but they'll destroy Blackburn.
Verdict: 4-0

Arsenal v QPR
Arsenal's season has really come off the rails in the last few weeks, they lost 1-0 to Man City and then could only manage a 1-1 against Wolves. They're shipping in goals left, right and centre. Quite frankly it's a lack of proper centre backs if you ask me. They're all about that attacking and flowing football and trying to win games nonsense. If it was up to me I'd play four centre backs in every game, but that's not the Arsenal way. QPR will probably only play two centre backs as well, but at least they might be English.
Verdict: 1-2

Bolton v Wolves
This is a fixture to die for. And I imagine someone of the players will literally die out there. Both teams are struggling for form and both teams would've hoped to avoid a relegation battle this season but they've been sucked in to one and it'll be a real dogfight to survive. This'll be an ugly, violent battle against two teams who look like they barely even know how to play the game, let alone play it well. This is the game of the weekend.
Verdict: 0-0

Chelsea v Aston Villa
This season has been a bit stop start for Chelsea but that's what you get when you make a twelve year old Spaniard your manager. Luckily they have a true leader in John Terry, the most English man since Braveheart. Villa on the other hand are led by some Scotsman. I mean I like the Scotch people, they make good whisky and they like a drink but ultimately they're still a bunch of skirt wearing pansies.
Verdict: 2-0

Norwich v Fulham
I used to know a fantastic footballer from Norwich. He had everything, pace, power and ability and he was two footed. Both of them right. They don't make players like that anymore though. I don't even know if any of the Norwich team are even from Norwich, but then I don't even know any of the Norwich team. Or the Fulham one. This'll probably be a draw I guess.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v Wigan
It's games like this that make me sad. Only one of these teams will come and play football while the other team will be trying to kick lumps out of the opposition and hoofing the ball up field. Why can't we just go back to the days when both teams were hoofing it? Let's hope the right team wins here.
Verdict: 1-0

Swansea v Tottenham
Tottenham's title challenge doesn't show any signs of slowing down and I can't see them losing against a bunch of leek eaters. Quite frankly the Welsh have never produced a footballer of any note. I reckon Gareth Bale will put at least three past them.
Verdict: 0-4

West Brom v Everton
The Everton fans have been protesting against Bill Kenwright but he's an Evertonian through and through so you can see why they don't trust him. To be honest I'm surprised the West Brom fans haven't protested against Roy Hodgson yet, but then they are Brummies so they're used to people speaking unintelligibly at them. They probably think Hodgson is English or something! Still I think Everton will give them something to complain about here.
Verdict: 0-2

Sunderland v Man City
Martin O'Neill has done wonders in his short time at Sunderland. It wouldn't surprise me if he told Bendtner and Cattermole to get nicked. Nothing spurs a team on like having a couple of your players arrested. I used to get arrested on a regular basis when I was at Tranmere and every time I was banged up their results improved dramatically. At one point the gaffer was trying to fit me up for a murder charge to get me sent away for years. Only one team is going to get murdered here though, and it's not Man City.
Verdict: 0-3

Dave Pundit's Festive Predictions

2011-12-23T09:57:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Or should I say ho ho ho, I'm Dave Pundit? Is there anything more British than Christmas? Christmas Trees, Candy Canes and the birth of Jesus it's like the history of England all in one day. I used to love training on Christmas Day, it's the only day of the year that everyone was as drunk as me. Plus it meant I didn't have to spend Christmas with my mum and two sisters. Ho ho ho.

Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games are always the toughest games to predict without exception. Except this one. Fulham are rubbish and Chelsea have John Terry. He may have the Metropolitan Police breathing down his neck but if anything it'll make him play better. He's faced controversy before but he always comes out of it whiter than white. He'll do the same here trust me.
Verdict: 3-0

Bolton v Newcastle
Bolton had a vital win against Blackburn but they really need to put some kind of run together now but they'll struggle against Newcastle. The Toon Army may be in freefall but the league table doesn't lie and they're literally the 7th best team in the league right now. I'd put my house on this game if it wasn't for the fact that I exchanged it with a bloke down the pub for five pound coins for the fruit machine. Worth it though I got a jackpot repeater.
Verdict: 0-1

Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool have come in for a lot of stick for their support of Luis Suarez but personally I think they were right to do it. If possible King Kenny has gone up in my estimation. He's like a double king now. King King Kenny. With KKK behind them, Liverpool will be on fire against Blackburn. They'll literally burn the blacks.
Verdict: 4-0

Man Utd v Wigan
Man Utd have started to hit a purple patch of form and there won't be any chancing of them slipping up here, no matter how icy it gets over Christmas. The very thought of Wigan getting any points at all against a side who are aiming for the top four is laughable. Ho ho ho.
Verdict: 3-1

Sunderland v Everton
What a Christmas cracker this game will be. Both sides have struggled this year but Martin O'Neill and David Moyes are two of the top managers in the league, they'll know that football isn't about playing well it's about grit, determination and being able to win ugly. In fact I doubt they know how to win any other way. It's just a shame that there can only be one winner here.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Man City
To be honest Man City are so much better than West Brom it's not even worth making a prediction for this match, so I won't.
Verdict: 0-2

Stoke v Aston Villa
It's all been going wrong for Villa and it's difficult to see why. They've got a dour, sub-standard manager, they play defensive, ugly football regardless of the situation and they're full of mediocre players that you wouldn't remember if they punched you in the face. I can't see why they're not doing better, it's always worked wonders for Stoke.
Verdict: 1-0

Arsenal v Wolverhampton
If Robin Van Persie beats Alan Shearer's record for goals in a calendar year I'll eat my hat. It would be a travesty to end all travesties. We can't have a foreigner scoring more goals than Shearer. To make matters worse Van Persie isn't even a striker, I can't believe no ones pointed this out but to me he's more of a number 10. Shearer was a proper number 9. Nine is greater than ten, you just can't dispute that. Let's hope Wolves can do their British duty here.
Verdict: 0-1

Swansea v QPR
Poor QPR having to spend Christmas in Wales. Do they even celebrate Christmas there? Maybe but they probably call it Llanleekmas or something. I mean what's the deal with Wales having two languages anyway? Does Scotland have two languages? Does Ireland have two languages? No, the only otherpeople in Britain that have two languages is Cockneys, and why would you want to be like that bunch of berks?
Verdict: 0-2

Norwich v Tottenham
It's come to my attention that I have been using offensive terms when talking about Norwich games. I unreservedly apologise for any offence caused – this was never my intention. I'm not the sort of person who says things just to be offensive. I'm not like the likes of Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr or The Dalai Lama. Anyway back to the football, Tottenham will walk this one, that big, coloured chap they've got up front is scoring for fun at the moment.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 20/12/11

2011-12-20T09:55:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sorry for the lack of predictions at the weekend, I was rushed into hospital with suspected hypergonadism. Turns out it was just bruising from where I keep on sitting on myself. I've never felt more proud to be Britih when my doctor told me I had whacking great long balls.

Blackburn v Bolton
Talking of whacking great long balls lets hope we see a load of them here tonight. Sadly Scott Dann is injured, he'd be ideal to smash a ball upfield. Rumour has it that this could be Kean's last game in charge which I think is a shame, say what you like about Kean; that he's blind to everything going on at his club, that he couldn't manage for toffee and that his face is too small for his head but at least he's brought consistency to Blackburn. Bolton too have been very consistent this year but they can't both lose can they?
Verdict: 0-2

Wolverhampton v Norwich
Mick McCarthy is another manager under pressure and a win against Norwich here would certainly relieve the strain somewhat. I doubt Norwich fans will mind what the result is, they're just one big happy family down there.
Verdict: 1-0

Aston Villa v Arsenal
Aston Villa are very much a work in progress at the moment they've shown flashes of brilliance from the likes of Agbonlahor and Bent but Alex McLeish is slowly but surely managing to stifle that side of things and has them playing dour, defensive football with no attacking desire whatsoever. Good on you, ginge! Arsenal, of course, wouldn't know how to play dour football if their lives depended on it, and if I had my way it would.
Verdict: 0-0

Man City v Stoke
City did everyone a favour and ended Arsenal's unbeaten run at the weekend. City showed that just because you have a foreign manager and foreign owners doesn't mean you can't have a good English spine of Lescott, Milner and Hargreaves. They are the embodiment of how a big club should be run. Stoke will give City a far sterner test than Arsenal ever could but Stoke away is no Stoke at home.
Verdict: 2-1

Newcastle v West Brom
Newcastle have had a bit of a slump recently and it looks like they may struggle to end up in the top four. Still Newcastle fans are renowned for being sensible so I'm sure they'll understand that these things happen. Luckily they've got an excellent board behind them so I'm sure things will pick up soon, starting here against West Brom. Who's board clearly know nothing about the game otherwise they'd've never hired Roy Hodgson.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Swansea
I think it's obvious that David Moyes needs to splash the cash in January and I think he will. Before that though they should be able to beat Swansea. They may be Wales' finest but that's not much of a boast. It's a bit like saying you're the least shouty tourette's sufferer. No such problems at Everton, thank God.
Verdict: 2-0

Fulham v Man Utd
People say United haven't been in great form this season but they're still right up there at the top of the table. It's the sign of a good team that can play badly and still win, but they'll have to watch themselves, they've been playing better recently and I'm not sure playing well and winning is a sign of anything. I imagine they'll be bloody awful against Fulham though.
Verdict: 0-3

QPR v Sunderland
A couple of Sunderland players were arrested this week for causing criminal damage. Bendtner I expected it of, he's foreign. But Cattermole must have been led astray, I mean what possible need would he have to go out and break things when he's been doing it on the football pitch for years? He needs to buck up his ideas and get back to shattering foreigners legs if you ask me. Do QPR have any foreigners? I don't know and nor do I care.
Verdict: 1-1

Wigan v Liverpool
Wigan got lucky against Chelsea due to a goalkeeping error but you can't ever see Reina making one of those. Not with King Kenny behind him. Let's not forget he used to manage Bruce Grobelaar, and there was a keeper you could rely on. But to be honest I doubt Wigan will even get a sniff at goal in this match they'll be too busy defending against the might of Henderson, Downing and Carroll. This'll be a goalfest.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Chelsea
As Winston Churchill once said: "And now we're standing face to face, isn't this world a crazy place, just when I thought our chance had passed you go and save the best for last." He was quite a singer was our Winston. But this is clearly the big match of the week. 3rd vs 4th it doesn't come any bigger than that. It's literally a top of the table clash. The might of John Terry versus the wiles of Harry Redknapp, the British Bulldog spirit of Sir Jonathan of Terrence versus the Old English Sheepdog smarts of Lord 'Arry. It brings tear to the eye just thinking about it. But then, I did just sit down a bit too quick. They'll be talking about this match for years to come.
Verdict: 0-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/12/11

2011-12-08T22:30:00.001Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. When Jay Spearing got sent off last week Gary Neville got it spot on when he said 20 years ago that wouldn't even have been a foul. What he didn't mention was that 30 years ago the gaffer would've fined you a weeks wages for a tackle like that. Both feet off the ground and you still didn't break his legs? You're obviously not working hard enough in training.

Arsenal v Everton
Everton have struggled this season but this game should be a breeze, Arsenal were a shambles in midweek, quite frankly it's teams like Arsenal that are destroying England's reputation in Europe. If a Greek team can put three past them a Scouse team can get a shed load, even if they are the wrong kind of Scouse.
Verdict: 0-4

Bolton v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are in a patch of bad form at the moment that few would've predicted at the start of the season but, as they say, class is temporary, form is permanent, so I guess they'll both get relegated. I can't see this ending in anything but a draw.
Verdict: 0-1

Liverpool v QPR
The needless persecution of Liverpool continues with Suarez up on a charge for giving the crowd the finger. I think it's ridiculous the amount of abuse the players get it's not surprising they retaliate. I mean I can't even count the amount of times I fingered some bloke in the crowd. Once a week I'd imagine. I doubt that gesture even means the same in Paraguayan anyway. Unless the powers that be decide otherwise Liverpool should win this one.
Verdict: 2-0

Man Utd v Wolves
United were desperately unlucky in Europe this week, but the nation should still be proud of the fight they put up, they're a young team and those sort of games are a great learning experience. But, as Winston Churchill said, you can't win anything with kids. Still they'll get back on track here, Wolves are an inferior outfit and Man Utd just don't lose to lesser opposition.
Verdict: 3-1

Norwich v Newcastle
Newcastle have a tough run of games and I think they could struggle here too. The atmosphere at Carrow Road is intimidating to say the least, all those extra fingers makes the clapping much louder. Last time I was there I sat in the family section and that was bad enough, although in fairness the family section is the entire stadium.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Fulham
People have accused me of being anti-Wales, nothing could be further from the truth it's far better than any foreign country, it's just my least favourite part of England. London comes a close second of course but in this game London just pips it.
Verdict: 0-1

West Brom v Wigan
It sounds like this game should be woeful. Full of dreary football, bad challenges and hoofed clearances, but no, both teams had to ruin it and hire foreigners who like to play "football" didn't they?
Verdict: 2-2

Sunderland v Blackburn
Now this is more like it! Neither of these teams have come close to playing "football" all season. Wonderful. When Sunderland sacked Bruce I worried they'd go down the foreigner route but no they've backed British. Well Irish really, but that's close enough. This will be a corker, trust me.
Verdict: 0-0

Stoke v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp won the manager of the month award for November, not bad considering he was off sick for two weeks. You wouldn't get a foreigner doing that, they just haven't got the heart. However if there's any team in the land that can stop Tottenham's charge it's Stoke. I'm not sure Tottenham have anyone can deal with Stoke's long balls. Not since Jenas left anyway.
Verdict: 1-0

Chelsea v Man City
Man City's foreign invasion ends here. They may have beaten all comers so far but they can't compete with John Terry, he's the bravest, truest, most honest-to-goodness English man since Richard the Lionheart. He wouldn't stand for invading someone else's country either. Chelsea will show Man City you can't buy the Premier League title.
Verdict: 2-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/12/11

2011-12-02T07:25:00.006Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a sad week in football this week with the shock news of Gary Speed's untimely death. Depression is a terrible thing and at least in my day we had booze to silence the screaming voices in our heads, nowadays modern footballers aren't even allowed that. Rest in peace, Gary Speed, a model pro and one of the Premier League's true legends. I'm just amazed he never got an England call up.

Newcastle v Chelsea
Some of the furore around John Terry seems to have died down this week thanks partly to a ranting woman on a tram becoming the new figurehead for racism, but like John Terry I think she's been harshly judged. Surely advising people to move out of Croydon is just good common sense. Hopefully Chelsea can get their season back on track here against a Newcastle side who have proved they can't get a result against the top four teams in the last few weeks.
Verdict: 0-2

Blackburn v Swansea
It's the time of the season when the managerial merry go round starts but Steve Kean is safe as houses. Blackburn may be in dire straits at the moment but despite that I really can't see them losing here. They may be awful, but Blackburn could put out a reserve side here and play like they don't care about the Premier League and they'd still win. Their brute, English strength will always be better than anything Wales can throw at them.
Verdict: 1-0

Man City v Norwich
City have taken on all comers and won this season and I think it would be a stupid man who'd predict anything but a win for them here. And I'm not a stupid man. I think Man City will get a hatful here, but Norwich should just about be good enough to keep it to a score they can count on the fingers of one hand.
Verdict: 6-0

QPR v West Brom
QPR have done alright in since their promotion and I think they'll have enough to beat West Brom here, it could be a different story in January when I think they'll have a job keeping their star players. I've been impressed with Joey Barton, I think if he cut out some of the fancy passing and ball control and concentrated on being a bit more of a thug he could go far. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Newcastle made a bid for him.
Verdict: 2-1

Tottenham v Bolton
Harry Redknapp believes Spurs can go on and win the title, and if that happens then Harry should get a big, fat bonus from the chairman. Spurs have such a strong squad at the moment, he could probably play a bunch of kids and still beat all but the best teams in the world. Bolton on the other hand have become a shadow of their former selves under Owen Coyle. His insistence on trying to play football is at odds with everything Bolton stands for, the managerial merry go round has begun and he's well and truly on it.
Verdict: 2-0

Wigan v Arsenal
If there's one team that typifies everything that's wrong with having a foreign manager it's Wigan and also Arsenal. The managerial merry go round is spinning now and Martinez must be feeling dizzy. As Winston Churchill said "stop the world i want to get off." I bet that's how the Wigan manager feels right now, except Martinez is nothing like Winston Churchill, I bet he's never fought a German in his life. Arsene Wenger on the other hand probably doesn't even know where Germany is. If either team wins this game it's football that loses.
Verdict: 2-2

Aston Villa v Manchester United
Alex Ferguson said that the team that lost against Crystal Palace wasn't a Man Utd side. Which is odd. I'm surprised the United bosses let Ferguson manage another team to be honest. Still I'm sure we'll see a United team this week. A proper one with a British spine and an English collarbone and grit and determination running throughout. Man Utd are literally the living embodiment of England. Villa are ok, but they'd be better if they didn't have a Scotchman in charge. And a ginger one at that.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Stoke
Stoke will be on a high after qualifying for the next round of the Europa League. A lot of people think it's a pointless competition but any chance we get to prove that good old fashioned English football is far better than the technical, tactically astute rubbish they play on the continent is a good thing if you ask me. I can't see how Stoke's brilliant form in Europe won't translate to the league here.
Verdict: 0-1

Wolves v Sunderland
Sunderland set the managerial merry go round in motion this week when they sacked Steve Bruce, I think he was unlucky to be honest. It's not like he tried to make Sunderland and attractive team to watch or anything, plus he lost all his strikers from last season and that's bound to affect the team, they've been conceding far too many and as everyone knows the attack is the first line of defence. Without that first line they've been screwed. Mick McCarthy is another manager who is under pressure, again this is ridiculous. He's British for God's sake. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Liverpool
Losing Lucas is obviously a blow for Liverpool but once again King Kenny has shown his managerial acumen, he bought about 12 midfielders in the summer just in case of this eventuality, what a man he is. I remember back when we were both at Liverpool and I nearly broke his leg in training, he turned to me and said "Dave, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to have a word with the gaffer about your future at this club." He could spot my talent even then, I could tell. I guess he never got the chance to speak to the boss though, I was sold to Tranmere the next week.
Verdict: 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions 26/11/11

2011-11-25T09:40:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a terrible week for all the English clubs in Europe. Not one of them has qualified for the last 16 yet and to rub salt into the wound Arsenal did. It's a Ryan Giggs of a situation: a shocking state of affairs. Hopefully the return to proper English football will bring more joy. As Winston Churchill said "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win." So it doesn't look good for old unbeaten Arsenal does it?

Stoke v Blackburn
So often the early game on a Saturday is one of the big clubs trouncing one of the minnows so it's refreshing to see this real clash of the Titans. Neither team is in particularly good form at the moment so hopefully they will get back to the basics of grinding out a result without ever playing anything resembling football. And if we're really lucky we might get to see one of the truly great sights in football; Rory Delap flinging the ball at Peter Crouch's head and it ricocheting into the net. Glorious.
Verdict: 1-1

Bolton v Everton
Neither of these teams will be happy with their start to the season and they've both made too many individual errors, the main one being attempting to play football. I think Bolton could struggle all season but at least Everton have a Scotchman at the helm so he can bring a bit of British grit to proceedings. Still he could do with splashing the cash a bit more, Everton are a big club and big clubs should spend the money they earn instead of sitting on there profits. Football is not a business, Bill Kenwright, you'd do well to remember that.
Verdict: 0-2

Chelsea v Wolves
I recently put Andre Villas Boas into Google translate and it turns out in English his name is Andrew Houses Snakes. Unfortunately at the moment his Chelsea team lacks venom. Not John Terry though, he's like a viper with a lions head, heart, and body. If anyone can show the resilience to drag Chelsea back after losing to a bunch of Germans it's John Terry. He has absolutely no resemblence to any German ever, living or dead. He's more English than the English Channel, more British than British Steel and more United Kingdom than the King, whoever he is.
Verdict: 3-0

Man Utd v Newcastle
Newcastle have got a very difficult run games at the moment and it's a shame it's coincided with their worst run of form of the season. I can't see them winning here, Man Utd might not be playing brilliantly at the moment but it's a sign of the truly great teams that you keep winning even when you're not actually very good. But Newcastle are a well run club and it's refreshing to see a proper fan in charge rather than some faceless corporation so I think they'll pull themselves out of this slump before long.
Verdict: 1-0

Norwich v QPR
Norwich may have lost last week but it's these sort of games that are the ones that count for them, it's important to win your home games. Whatever happens though I'm sure the fans are enjoying the ride in their first shot at the big time. I heard of an entire family of Norwich fans who went last week Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, Grandchildren and all four of them loved it. Good on them.
Verdict: 2-1

Sunderland v Wigan
Now I'm not the sort of pundit who would ever call for a manager to be sacked but Steve Bruce is under real pressure at the moment. Luckily he's up against an equally poor Wigan side led by Roberto Martinez, who should be sacked.
Verdict: 2-0

West Brom v Tottenham
I mentioned Google Translate earlier I'd never heard of it until recently, Steve Claridge suggested it might be useful to help me understand Roy Hodgson's interviews. Unfortunately Google Translate doesn't seem to know what language he's speaking either. Harry Redknapp only speaks one language however: football. And football is a language is that is spoken from the heart and no one has a stronger footballing heart than Harry Redknapp. I honestly can't see this game being too taxing for a man of his character.
Verdict: 0-2

Arsenal v Fulham
There have been accusations that Arsenal are a one man team and to some extent those accusations are true. Can you imagine if they didn't have Theo Walcott? They'd be completely foreign. It's a big burden for the lad but he's been going to World Cups with England since he was teenager so he'll know how to handle pressure, gambling and shagging around. I still hope Fulham beat them though. Foreign Jessies.
Verdict: 0-1

Swansea v Aston Villa
Villa got their tactics all wrong for the Tottenham game last week but that shouldn't be a problem here. The Welsh wouldn't know a tactic if it kicked them in the balls. Which is probably what Alan Hutton is going to do. Marvellous.
Verdict: 0-3

Liverpool v Man City
Man City's unbeaten run ends here. After their humiliating defeat to Napoli in midweek, the blows will keep on coming. I mean where is Napoli anyway? I've never heard of it and I've been to Italy, I've heard of Rome, Milan, Turin and Naples, but Napoli? It's probably some pokey little village in the middle of nowhere. Much like Manchester in fact. Liverpool will have too much for them, trust me. It'll be a black day for City's defence when they face Suarez.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 19/11/11

2011-11-17T15:04:00.009Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I see this week Sepp Blatter has posted pictures of him hugging Tokyo Sexwale. It's no big deal, who hasn't got drunk and woken up in a Japanese brothel? He's also got himself embroiled in the ongoing race row,and I think we can all agree that racism is a cancer in football and Sepp Blatter is dealing with this cancer in exactly the right way, ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

Norwich v Arsenal
After Arsenal's poor start they have won a couple on the trot recently but hopefully they can get back on track here against a Norwich team who, like Burnley and Blackpool before them have made a great start to their first ever season in top flight football.
Verdict: 2-1

Everton v Wolves
This literally is a must win game for both teams, a loss here would mean that either team would only be left with 27 games in which to turn their season around and could leave them in a battle for the midtable places. With a win here and a good run of form they could be challenging for about 9th or 10th.
Verdict: 2-0

Man City v Newcastle
So Tevez has gone walkabout to Argentina again? It's no surprise to me anyone could see, even when he was at West Ham that he was trouble. I hope Mancini has learnt his lesson here, no top manager, Sir Alex Ferguson for example, would ever have touched him with a bargepole. As far as this match goes these are the only two unbeaten teams left in the league but one of them will have to lose that record here.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v QPR
This is the sort of game that sets the Premiership apart from all othe leagues in world football. A few years ago this would have been a lower league clash, played in an awful stadium with no flair or technical skill on display. It would've been dour and dull and uncultured and probably won by the odd goal from a long ball. And finally that fantastic prospect has reached the Premier League.
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v Fulham
It is clear that Sunderland have struggled since they lost Darren Bent to Villa. It's hard to bring in someone who can get you the goals that Bent gets and Sunderland don't have the money to just go out and get an Andy Carroll or a Fernando Torres like the big teams do. Fulham have their own English goal machine in Bobby Zamora who is carving a niche for himself in the national team which, after beating Spain, is clearly the best in the world. I honestly think Zamora could be the next Emile Heskey.
Verdict: 0-1

West Brom v Bolton
Look at the fates of the last three Liverpool managers, Houllier had a heart attack and for all I know is now dead, Benitez will probably never work again and Roy Hodgson is the worst off getting stuck in the Black Country. All this points to one thing, Liverpool should stop hiring foreigners. Bolton finally got a win under their belts last time out and I'm sure that fantastic run of will continue here.
Verdict: 0-0

Wigan v Blackburn
This is already a real relegation tussle and a loss for either team could spell the end for the manager. That would be a real shame for Steve Kean who has all the attributes to be the next Tony Pulis but it's really time someone put Martinez out of his misery and sent him home to Italy.
Verdict: 1-2

Swansea v Man Utd
I used to know a Welshman, he was a nice chap, until he took me out on the pull with him. Now I've slept with the odd sexwhale in my time but I draw the line at sheep! That's a joke of course. I've never met a nice Welshman. Let's hope they get crushed by Man Utd's thoroughly nice spine of Ferdinand, Rooney and Giggs.

Chelsea v Liverpool
What ought to have been billed as the game of the season has been overshadowed by this daft race row. It's truly ludicrous to believe that someone of John Terry's pedigree would be involved in something like this, he is a true leader of men someone who should be celebrated, there should be a party thrown in his honour party in this country. A British national party. And in my book there's still no better defender in the land, yes he's still the top dog when it comes to the English defence league. As for Suarez well he might be racist, he is foreign after all, but if you can't sweep things under the carpet for the most successful team in the country who can you sweep them under the carpet for?
Verdict: 1-1

Tottenham v Aston Villa
On a personal level Harry Redknapp must be on cloud nine at the moment. He can clearly do no wrong and he'll feel like no harm could ever befall him the way Spurs are playing. As Winston Churchill once said "He's walking on sunshine, whoa oo, and don't it feel good?" As for Alex McLeish, he's alright for a ginge, but he's no 'Arry is he?
Verdict: 3-1

Dave Pundit on Rememberance Day

2011-11-11T09:47:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. There are no Premier League fixtures this week so I've decided not to do any predictions for them. It's one of the golden rules of punditry, really. If there aren't any games don't stick your neck out. Of course there are the international games but how long does it take to predict that all the home nations will win against whatever dross they're playing against?

So instead I've decided to talk about the poppy debacle that has been running this week. Quite frankly I can't believe there was ever an issue with the England team wearing poppies. It's political correctness gone mad if you ask me. The poppy is a symbol of the brave people who fought and died for this country and our equally brave footballers, like John Terry, aren't allowed to wear a poppy in case they offend a German? It's a blooming disgrace.

I mean, excuse me, but who won the war? That's right it was us. And if that upsets some Germans well they shouldn't have started the war in the first place. Quite frankly I think the England team should wear poppies all year round. I mean if you can't win a war and then mock the losers what's the point in war?

I also don't understand the mentality of people who refuse to wear poppies. Don't they realise people died for them? People fought and died for freedom of speech and they can't even be bothered to wear a poppy? I think it should be compulsory for all British people to wear a poppy. In fact each nationality and race should have their own symbol and be forced to wear it at all times just to make identifying them easier. That'll remind everyone why we fought the fascists in the first place.

On a personal note I do like to do my bit for charity, only this week a poor young urchin came up to me and pointed at my moustache and asked if I was doing Movember. I gave him 50p and told him to spend it on speech therapy lessons, it's November you daft little idiot. Never let it be said that I don't have compassion for the spastics.

Course you're not supposed to call them that now are you? They've had their name changed to retards or something haven't they? I can't abide all this changing of names, Eastlands is now the Etihad stadium, St James's Park is now the Sport Direct Arena where will it end? I blame Arsenal and their poppy-burning sponsors. That's where this all started, whatever happened to traditional names like Old Trafford, Anfield or The Reebok?

The worst thing is that I've heard Chelsea are going to change the name of Stamford Bridge. It's an outrage. Unless they go with the suggestion I've sent them: The John Terry Grithole.

Right that's it for now, I'll look forward to watching the England match with all the England players wearing their poppies with pride as they give the Spaniards their worst defeat since the Armarda.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 05/11/11

2011-11-04T07:22:00.009Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees Sir Alex Ferguson celebrate his 25th anniversary as Manchester United. You can't argue with his pedigree but I think he faces his toughest challenge ahead. How will he cope with the spending power of Man City? He must be livid when he looks at Man City buying the title, it goes against everything Sir Alex stands for. Still 25 years as a manager is pretty good going. I reckon he'd know enough to have a go at punditry now.

Newcastle v Everton
It's hard to see Newcastle getting beaten at the moment, they're working hard for each other as a team and they're playing some lovely football so surely it can't be long before some team puts the boot in and stops them in their tracks. I'm just not sure Everton have got enough cloggers in their team to do the job, which is a shame.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v West Brom
Arsenal are in a terrible run of form at the moment and I genuinely can't remember the last time they kept a clean sheet in any competition. Yes, they beat Chelsea last week but they still conceded three goals, you can't concede that many and still consider yourself a good team. However even Arsenal should have too much for West Brom, who are surely kicking themselves for hiring a foreign manager.
Verdict: 3-2

Aston Villa v Norwich
Villa fans weren't happy when McLeish was appointed as there manager and it's easy to see why. No one likes a ginger. But what they forgot was the fact that he's Scotch and as Alex Ferguson has shown if there's one thing the Scotch can do is drink heavily and they can also manage a bit too. I think his nationality is what will give McLeish the edge in this game.
Verdict: 1-0

Blackburn v Chelsea
Chelsea slipped up against Arsenal last week but they won't slip up again. John Terry will see to that, John Terry doesn't make slip ups. Right now he has the weight the of the world on his shoulders but he'll stay tall like the upstanding British hero he is. Chelsea won't slump to another defeat with him leading them.
Verdict: 0-3

Liverpool v Swansea
Luis Suarez is THE outstanding striker in the Premier League bar none at the moment, and I reckon he'll fill his boots here against the leek eating, valley dwellers. Let's face it the Welsh might be able to produce good male voice choirs but that doesn't mean they can play football. Look at Liverpool, no musical heritage at all but we're the most successful team in the world.
Verdict: 1-0

Man Utd v Sunderland
What can you say about Alex Ferguson that hasn't already been said? That he eats babies. But that's not true, he's not Arsene Wenger. Credit where credit's due Alex Ferguson has performed miracles at Man Utd and made them the second most successful club in the country, if Steve Bruce could do half of what Sir Alex has done then he wouldn't be managing Sunderland.
Verdict: 2-0

QPR v Man City
Neil Warnock has been in trouble this week for saying his players defended like fairies. And quite right to, there's no room for homophobia in football. But if his team don't tighten up at the back they could leave themselves open to the likes of Silva playing in the hole. If they're not careful they could get royally shafted, the bunch of pansies.
Verdict: 0-3

Wolves v Wigan
Both these teams are facing tough times but as Winston Churchill once said "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I can see Wolves getting going here because they're tough whereas Wigan are literally the opposite of toughL: foreign. They're a disgrace to the North.
Verdict: 1-0

Bolton v Stoke
Against Newcastle last week Stoke looked dull, uninspired, lacking in ideas and had to resort to route one football, which just goes to show you can do everything right and still lose. Away from home though they've been distinctly average. Luckily Bolton this season have been worse than average, they've been ordinary.
Verdict: 1-2

Fulham v Tottenham
Poor Harry Redknapp has had to undergo heart surgery this week, which is a fairly drastic measure to get out of having to watch Europa League football. Having had my fair share of surgery though what I want to know is how did he jump the waiting lists? I'd say he slipped someone a few quid but that's not harry's style. Still the Spurs boys will know exactly what to do to give Harry the best get well present: nip to Tescos and buy a bottle of cheap gin. And they'll probably win this match too witch might cheer him up.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 29/10/11

2011-10-28T07:23:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The racism row shows no signs of stopping, and now they've gone and accused John Terry of it. An Englishman! It's PC gone mad. In my day racism wasn't an issue. There was loads of it, it just wasn't an issue. Now I don't condone any form of bigotry but it's clear to me there are bigger problems than racism in football. Foreigners for one.

Everton v Manchester United
Until Jonny Evans was sent off Man Utd were well in the game against City but then they got the tactics all wrong after being reduced to ten men. When I was a pro we always worked hard on playing with a man less in training. Well I say we, the other lads did, I was the one who always got sent off. Everton are never an easy team to play so this will be a real test of United's character, some people have rightly questioned Man Utd's spine but that doesn't mean they can't show a little backbone here.
Verdict: 1-2

Chelsea v Arsenal
It's been a tough ride for Chelsea over the last week. A shock loss against QPR and then the racism incident. But if anyone can prove that being a racist is no hindrance to being a professional footballer it's John Terry, I mean come on it's not that bad is it? It's not like he's mocking 9/11 victims or anything. As far as I'm concerned Terry is whiter than white. Anyway I can't see him getting another black mark to his name against Arsenal's hopelessly out of form midgets.
Verdict: 3-1

Man City v Wolves
Mick McCarthy has received a lot of unnecessary stick from the Wolves fan recently. They've criticised his tactics apparently, which is ridiculous when did tactics ever win a game. All McCarthy needs is grit and determination and he has it, by the bucketful. Whether Mancini has grittermination is yet to be seen but he has got a lot of money which is pretty much the same.
Verdict: 4-1

Norwich v Blackburn
There have been high-sixes all round in Norwich due to their good start to the season and I can see the good times continuing here. Blackburn have all the ingredients to be a dour, workmanlike, tough to beat, horrible to watch team but for some reason Kean can't get them to reach those heights. Another loss for them here I fear.
Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland v Aston Villa
It's a bit of a grudge match this due to Darren Bent's move to Villa last year. I love a grudge match. Quite frankly a match without grudge is like a tonic without a gin. And a match with a grudge is like a gin without a tonic; far better. Alan Hutton has been practising his leg breaking tackles in preperation for this match, he hasn't quite perfected it yet but this could be the game if you ask me.
Verdict: 1-1

Swansea v Bolton
Bolton face a tough trip to Wales here, but when isn't a visit to Wales tough eh? It's full of Welsh people for a start. Bolton will have to rely on the one thing the Welsh can't possibly have: British Grit. But it'll be tough.
Verdict: 0-0

Wigan v Fulham
For me this is already a six-pointer Fulham have struggled away from home and could find themselves in a bit of trouble if there form doesn't continue and Wigan are just too foreign to not be considered relegation candidates. Both these sides will be desperate to win this game but only one will.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Liverpool
Now that Liverpool have a British manager rather than a string of foreigners they seem to be on the right path at last. Yes they lost to West Brom last year but with King Kenny at the helm it can't happen this year. As Winston Churchill said "lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice." There have been accusations that Suarez is a diver and I hope he cuts that out of his game, maybe now Steven Gerrard's back I'm sure he'll have a word with him about how to stay on your feet.
Verdict: 0-2

Tottenham v QPR
This is probably the easiest game of the week to predict. Tottenham are showing the sort of form that will get them into the top four and QPR just aren't good enough to ever beat a top four team.
Verdict: 3-0

Stoke v Newcastle
Everyone knows that the Britannia Stadium is the toughest place in the world for any team to go to. Except for Stoke, they seem to do alright there. But have Newcastle got what it takes to out-Stoke Stoke? They literally might do. But also maybe not. It'll probably be a draw.
Verdict: 0-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 22/10/11

2011-10-21T07:48:00.003+01:00

Hi I'm Dave Pundit. I personally think the idea of a Great Britain team for the Olympics is marvellous and I think it should become the norm for things like the World Cup and European Championships. In fact I can't believe it's taken this long to come about. Just think of some of the fantastic players that they could have put into the England team. George Best, Ryan Giggs, Robbie Keane. The list is endless.

Wolves v Swansea
After a bright start Wolves have gone off the boil a bit and are now down in the doldrums. Now I'm not the type to deal in cliches but if Mick McCarthy's boys don't pull thei fingers out they could be down a certain creek without a paddle if you know what I mean? Luckily Swansea are Welsh so Wolves should have no troubles here.
Verdict: 2-0

Aston Villa v West Brom
With derby games all the usual rules go out of the window, form doesn't matter, the fact that Villa have a proper English manager and West Brom have some foreign bloke called Woy doesn't matter, all that matters is the passion on the pitch. That's why these games are so hard to predict but it's a lazy pundit that just plumps for a draw in games like these.
Verdict: 1-1

Bolton v Sunderland
It saddens me to see two proper northern teams doing so poorly but the buck has to stop with the managers. And they should blame the chairmen, who should blame the players and the buck should stop there, with the players blaming the manager. This will be a tight game but home advantage can play a massive part in these tense sort of matches. Home and advantage and grit. But it's hard to say which team has more of those things.
Verdict: 1-2

Newcastle v Wigan
If someone had told me at the start of the season that Newcastle would be unbeaten after eight games I'd've told them to go back to punditing school but Newcastle have surprised everyone and I can't see any reason why they can't remain unbeaten for the rest of the season and if they don't I'll hand in my diploma of punditry.
Verdict: 2-1

Liverpool v Norwich
When I first heard the accusations that Luis Saurez was a racist I thought 'he probably is, all them foreigners are'. Then I remembered he's a Liverpool player and as such he is clearly an honest man of integrity like all Scousers. Still Liverpool will put all these allegations behind them for this game. Norwich haven't been nearly as crap as I expected but they're no Liverpool are they?
Verdict: 3-0

Arsenal v Stoke
Do you know what I like about Stoke? They understand that kicking your opponent is as much a part of the game as pulling their shirts and sneakily swinging your elbow into someones face. That's what football's all about. Plus they have defenders that are over six foot, British players in the heart of midfield and players that aren't afraid to get red carded every now and then. If Arsenal had any of those things they'd be a far better team than they are.
Verdict: 0-1

Fulham v Everton
Everton have made a reputation as being one of the most consistent teams in the league but they've always been a bit hit and miss. Fulham on the other hand are hard to predict. It really depends on what teams turn up on Sunday. I reckon it'll be Fulham and Everton.
Verdict: 2-2

Man Utd v Man City
There is much talk of a power shift in Manchester but as Winston Churchill once said "with great power comes great responsibility." And I'm not sure Man City are responsible enough yet to be Champions. Man utd on the other hand bleed responsibility, just look at the likes of Rooney, Ferdinand and Giggs, three more responsible men you couldn't hope to find.
Verdict: 2-1

Blackburn v Tottenham
When Blackburn got taken over recently there was a lot of talk about big money signings and pushing for trophies and that hasn't really materialised. Let's face it only one of these teams has ever looked like they could win the Premier League and that's Tottenham. Blackburn just aren't a big enough club to ever challenge for the title.
Verdict: 0-3

QPR v Chelsea
Put simply QPR have got as much chance of winning this game as that bottle of gin in my cupboard has got of staying unopened. Now while I pour myself a quick G&T let's all take a minute to think about Gin Terry. I mean John Tonic. I mean John Terry a true English Gin of a man.
Verdict: 0-4

Dave Pundit's Predictions 15/10/11

2011-10-14T07:27:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The subject of gambling in sport has reared it's ugly head again. In fact the only subject that rears it's ugly head more at the moment is Carlos Tevez. I personally can't see the problem with sportsmen gambling. I remember when I was at Liverpool an up and coming young defender bet me he'd play more first team games than me, but I showed him. I shattered his fibula in training and he was out for a year and played no games. Nothing gave me greater pleasure than at the end of the season when I could rub it in his teenage, Captain Scarlet looking face that it was a draw.

Liverpool v Man Utd
I find it ridiculous that Wayne Rooney has been banned for the first three games of Euro 2012, he's the white Pele for God's sake. Still England's loss is Man Utd's gain and the partnership he's struck up with Ashley Young - the black Pele - is something England will never have. However, they're coming up against an in form Liverpool side who'll be boosted by the return of Steven "The other white Pele" Gerrard. Let's just hope none of these Peles end up firing blanks.
Verdict: 1-1

Man City v Aston Villa
Turbulent times at Man City and I personally blame Mancini for signing an Argentinian in the first place. Does he not remember the Falklands? You wouldn't catch the likes of Alex Ferguson doing that. In many ways Alex McLeish is the new Alex Ferguson. He's Scottish and he's a manager. It's uncanny. I think this will be a close run thing.
Verdict: 2-2

Norwich v Swansea
Last year I wouldn't have had to have pretended to have an opinion on what is clearly a substandard fixture. But this year I can't wait to see this titanic struggle between two teams in the greatest league in the world. Even if one of the teams is Welsh.
Verdict: 0-0

QPR v Blackburn
QPR have been pretty hit and miss this year as have Blackburn. So this is game is a pundit's nightmare. It's literally unpredictable.
Verdict: 2-0

Stoke v Fulham
Stoke are the last great old-fashioned football team. From top to bottom they exude the sort of values that seem to have been lost from the beautiful game. Not for them the fancy passing, clean tackling or entertaining football. No, they've stuck to their guns and you have to respect them for that. In many ways they're the footballing equivalent of that most enduring of haircuts; the mullet. Fulham on the other hand are possibly a short back and sides, a bit boring but perfectly acceptable. Until they stop hiring foreign managers they'll never have the class of the business on top, party at the back look.
Verdict: 2-1

Wigan v Bolton
A few years ago this would've been a fixture I would've gone out of my way to see. Two northern teams full of northern journeymen kicking lumps out of each other. But now they've gone and tried to play football and it's all gone to pot. It's no wonder they're both relegation fodder this year.
Verdict: 0-1

Chelsea v Everton
I can't believe Rodwell's red card has been overturned. It was a terrible challenge, one-footed and his follow through didn't even look vaguely like it would injure someone. He should be ashamed. Still even with Rodwell Everton won't be able to beat Chelsea. Not with the mighty John Terry. Villas-Boas may be trying to get Chelsea to play fast, flowing football but not even that can stop John Terry. He's a machine, a proper British one, like a Rover or an Amstrad. Built to last.
Verdict: 3-0

West Brom v Wolves
This is a derby that is close to my heart. Not that I ever played for either of these teams, nor have I ever been to the Black Country, nor do I care about the result it's just that a Brummie friend of mine once tattooed West Brom v Wolves on my chest while I was drunk.
Verdict: 1-1

Arsenal v Sunderland
Arsenal are in a run of awful form and long may it continue. They aren't, and have never been, a top four quality side and I think the fans are right to call for Wenger's head. Steve Bruce is another manager who is under pressure but I think they need to give him time, he's done a lot of great things in his career and to want any manager sacked at this stage of the season is just a joke.
Verdict: 0-1

Newcastle v Tottenham
The Toon Army are still unbeaten this season but I think they'll struggle against a Tottenham team fresh off the back of a North London derby win. Tottenham have proved time and time again that they are one of the four best teams in the country and Newcastle will have their work cut out here.
Verdict: 1-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 01/10/11

2011-09-29T09:07:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sorry for the lack of predictions last week but it's been all go in the Pundit household recently. Channel 5 have been filming a pilot for a new reality show: The Only Way Is Pundit, following my family around for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately the show has now been binned after my brother Julian decided to show everyone his immaculate cockjazzle. I think mum must've dropped him on his head when he was little or something.

Everton v Liverpool
Having played in more than my fair share of Merseyside derbies - one - I can honestly say this is the biggest game of the year. It should be a cracking game mainly because Everton will be soundly thrashed. King Kenny will lead Liverpool to glory you mark my words. And I'd just like to say I've always had the utmost respect for his wife, the Queen.
Verdict: 0-3

Aston Villa v Wigan
Aston Villa are a good mid-table club not brilliant but not awful whereas Wigan are distinctly average. I think that gulf in class will show in this match and Aston Villa will literally walk it.
Verdict: 2-1

Blackburn v Man City
The big talking point of the week was clearly Carlos Tevez refusing to play for City in Europe. This is typical of the modern day foreign footballer. I never once refused to play. If I fancied a day off I just turned up to the match even more drunk than usual. Tevez behaviour was disgusting, I bet he's never even had a drink in his life. I hope Blackburn stuff them.
Verdict: 1-0

Man Utd v Norwich
Man Utd have had terrible luck with injuries but they've kept plugging away. There's no shame in a draw away to Stoke. We all know even the likes of Messi couldn't cope with the Brittania. In fact I doubt Messi would've got anywhere near Crouch for his goal. Norwich should try and follow Stoke's example and ditch any attempts to play football. Unfortunately I imagine they'll try and pass it and retain possession or something. You won't win anything like that.
Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland v West Brom
Sunderland have been pretty shaky at the start of the season and Titus Bramble's arrest won't help matters. Drugs I can understand but sexual assault? What on earth is wrong with footballers these days? With the amount of money they earn you'd think they could pay for a hooker. Still without Bramble's British grit at the back they might struggle to cope with West Brom's own British powerhouse, Shane Long.
Verdict: 1-2

Wolverhampton v Newcastle
Newcastle have been the suprise package in the league this year but Wolves have a few suprises of their own. Both teams have been punching above their weight and I think that's down to the managers Alan Pardew and Mick McCarthy you wouldn't catch either of them in a relegation battle. So two in-form teams, full of confidence and playing well, this should be a cracker, lets hope they cancel each other out completely.
Verdict: 0-0

Bolton v Chelsea
The Reebok Stadium used to be a fortress now it's more like a fort made by a child out of sofa cushions and blankets. But that fort will be crushed by Chelsea's bombardment. And leading that bombardment will be John Terry and he's the type that even if he can't breech your defences in a full on assault will smash your backdoor in as soon as look at you. He's an example to us all.
Verdict: 0-2

Fulham v QPR
As Winston Churchill said "If you're tired of London you're tired of life" and let's face it if you're not tired of life you're probably doing it wrong. Quite frankly I'm tired of London derby games. There seems to be one each week if I never see another one it'll be too soon.
Verdict: 1-1

Swansea v Stoke
Stoke are the archetypal English team, strong defence, big man upfront and a complete lack of skill. It makes you proud to be English. Swansea on the other hand are the archetypal Welsh team. Crap.
Verdict: 0-2

Tottenham v Arsenal
Now this is a proper derby game. The North London derby is always a good game and hopefully this year will be even better because Arsenal are terrible. Spurs should get a cricket score here. They've got a good English spine and a few crunching tackles from the likes of Ledley King should shatter Arsenal's French fancies' fragile knees.
Verdict: 1-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/09/11

2011-09-16T14:47:00.000+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I noticed this week that the Rugby World Cup was on. I didn't watch it, I just happened to be in the pub at 8 in the morning and suddenly I had to queue to get my full Scotch breakfast. I heard afterwards that it was a tedious, boring, low scoring game anyway. I'll probably watch it this week. Anyway on with real sport.

Blackburn v Arsenal
In midweek Arsenal struggled to an embarrassing 1-1 draw in Europe, that's just not good enough. Apparently they also only fielded one Frenchman, so now they're not only a disgrace to England they're also a disgrace to their home nation. Let's hope Blackburn stuff them.
Verdict: 2-1

Aston Villa v Newcastle
The difference between these two teams is the way they're run, Aston Villa have some ridiculous yank in charge whereas Neecastle are a properly run English club with a great chairman. Luckily though Villa's boss has seen enough sense to appoint an English manager at last so this should be a close game.
Verdict 1-1

Bolton v Norwich
Bolton suffered a heavy defeat against Man Utd last time out, the fans must be wishing for a return to the good old days, Owen Coyle seems to insist on them playing football, you never got that with Gary Megson. Norwich got some bad decisions last week but you can't keep moaning about them. Just get on with it.
Verdict: 2-2

Everton v Wigan
Is it even worth Wigan turning up? The players might as well just give the game a miss and go to the pub. That's what my manager always told me to do for games against superior opposition anyway.
Verdict 2-0

West Brom v Swansea
I've still not worked out what country Roy Hodgson from, I mean what is that accent? Still at least they've got some good British steel up front in Shane Long. As for Swansea, you can say what you like about the Welsh.
Verdict: 1-0

Wolves v QPR
There seems to be a huge circus that follows Joey Barton around but let's hope he doesn't distract from what could be a real battle, with crunching tackles, red cards and bad behaviour. That's what football's all about not Joey Barton.
Verdict: 0-0

Tottenham v Liverpool
You can't blame Harry Redknapp for resting players midweek, he will have had both eyes on his toughest fixture of the season this weekend. As for Liverpool they got a lot of poor decisions last week and they have every right to complain. Jamie Carragher penalised for hauling someone down in the box? It's a disgrace, he's Jamie Carragher for God's sake, he can do whatever he likes.
Verdict: 1-2

Fulham v Man City
City will be licking their wounds after only managing a draw in Europe. Typical foreigner behaviour if you ask me. You wouldn't catch me licking a wound. I'm no wound licker me, in fact I'm whatever the opposite of a wound licker is. Anyway City will demolish Fulham's girly boys sadly.
Verdict: 0-3

Sunderland v Stoke
Winston Churchill said there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Unless you're Asamoah Gyan of course. All he has to look forward to is death. In football there are two certainties too. Rory Delap's long throw, Stokes long ball game and Sunderland not living up to expectations.
Verdict: 0-1

Man Utd v Chelsea
Utd have started brilliantly but this is there first real test. It'll be interesting to see how they do against another top four team. Chelsea of course have John Terry and he's a match for any team. He's a true England captain, he wouldn't go to a bar in New Zealand to throw dwarves, he's got a midget chucking pitch in his own house.
Verdict: 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/09/11

2011-09-09T07:28:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Recovering from my death has been no bed of roses I can tell you. For a start it's hard to claim benefits when you're legally dead. Now I'm no scrounger, not like those immigrants who come over here and steal our jobs, but I gave 10 years of my life to football and even paid tax for some of it so I think I'm owed a bit back. Worse than that though is that I've been removed from the Anfield Alumni list and all the privileges that come with it. No longer can I park for free anywhere in Liverpool. No longer am I allowed to book a room at the Adelphi per hour and apparently it seems I'm no longer welcome to turn up at Jason McAteer's house at three in the morning with a stripper dressed as a nun on my arm and crash in his spare room. His elderly mother sleeps in there now it seems.

Arsenal v Swansea
It was proved in mid-week that England are far stronger than Wales, but it's yet to be seen how Arsenal's Frenchies will fare. Perhaps if Arsenal had one Englishman in their squad - or a Welshman even, they wouldn't have been humiliated by Man Utd but they don't so I can't see them beating Swansea - who's very presence in the league is a disgrace - either.
Verdict 1-1

Everton v Aston Villa
After the last prediction it's good to be dealing with solid, English teams again with solid English managers. Moyes and McLeish will both be desperate to prove that their clubs can cope with selling their best players, and Arteta. This should be a real barn stormer.
Verdict 0-0

Man City v Wigan
Man City have clearly tried to buy the title and I for one don't think it should be allowed. Foreign owners flashing the cash is the biggest scourge in football. God knows who owns Wigan but I guess they're foreign. Why else would they hire Martinez. Sadly City will destroy them.
Verdict: 4-0

Stoke v Liverpool
As admirable as Stoke's attempts to buy everyone in football who is over 6' 2" is they will still be no match for the mighty Liverpool who's new owner has come in and wisely decided to buy the title. Top bloke.
Verdict
Verdict: 0-2

Sunderland v Chelsea
Sunderland have been very busy in the transfer window and have brought in some good, experienced, British grit in the shape of Wes Brown and John O'Shea but they'll still be no match for the true grit of John Terry. Although I must say when I saw True Grit I was a little disappointed, it didn't really show any of the best moments of John Terry's life. Winning the double, captaining England, mocking victims of 9/11, it left out all the heroic moments. Who knew he'd spent so much time as a cowboy though?
Verdict: 0-3

Wolverhampton v Tottenham
Wolves have made a fantastic start to the season. And that's all down to Mick McCarthy. Personally I think he's a shoe-in for the England job when Capello leaves. It's about time we went for someone who's England through and through rather than someone with managerial ability. Spurs have made a terrible start to the season but that's no fault of Redknapp. The famous wheeler dealer had his hands tied in the market so couldn't improve his squad. He should be given the England job where he can really utilise those skills.
Verdict: 2-2

Bolton v Man Utd
What a start to the season it has been for Man Utd, a lot of people questioned whether they had enough creativity in midfield but they forget that creating chances isn't what football's about. It's about having an English spine and Man Utd have that in spades. Rooney, Cleverley and Johnny Evans they're the future of England, trust me. I just can't see Bolton getting anything here, Man Utd scored 8 last time out but that never happens twice.
Verdict: 1-9

Norwich v West Brom
This is what Premiership football is all about. Two clubs who don't really deserve to be there battling it out in a game only about 12 people care about. It makes you proud to be English. Norwich should pip this due to West Brom's bizarre appointment of Roy Hodgson. Why must these clubs all go for foreign managers?
Verdict: 1-0

Fulham v Blackburn
What a super Sunday line up this is. No poncing about with players playing football on God's day with these games. I can see Blackburn really getting stuck in here and if Fulham leave with all their legs unbroken they should be given 3 points purely for their physical strength.
Verdict: 0-0

QPR v Newcastle
This game is really only interesting for the return of Joey Barton to Newcastle. Barton is my kind of footballer. No nonsense, violent and with a hair trigger. He was quite right to attack Gervinho for diving. God knows why Barton's gone to QPR though. Perhaps the proper clubs didn't like his tendency to put stupid quotes on that Tweeter thing. As Winston Churchill once said: Actions speak louder than words. Barton should go back to stubbing cigars out in people's eyes. Nothing speaks louder than that.
Verdict: 1-2

Dave Pundit's Season Preview

2011-08-05T11:37:00.001+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. As the great Winston Churchill once said "Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated." It was touch and go for a while though. In fact my heart stopped for about 112 days. I'll tell you what when you wake up in a coffin you thank your lucky stars your blood/alcohol levels were far too high for you to be cremated. But I knew I had to dig my way out of the hole, I'd left most of a pint on the bar. Anyway you might wonder why I didn't come back and start punditing straight away, with my death my punditry licence had expired so I had to drum up another five grand to renew it. Luckily my brother Julian was more than happy to be pimped out for my needs so here I am back and raring to go for the new season. Here are my predictions:

Champions: Chelsea.

People say to me that they've got an ageing team but a wise man, probably Winston Churchill, once said you don't win anything with kids and that's never been proved wrong. Plus Chelsea still have the world's greatest Englishman, John Terry. He ages like a fine wine. He's robust, full of character and likes to get women drunk.

Runners Up: Liverpool

Having finally got rid of a long line of foreign managers; Gerard Houllier, Rafa Benitez and Roy Hodgson (God knows where he was from but I couldn't understand a single word he said.) Liverpool have finally got some good British grit in. From the chairman to the manager Liverpool are back to being English through and through. And it shows with the signings they've made no one knows how to find a bargain like King Kenny. £20m for Downing? He's an England international for crying out loud. If Arsenal can ask for £40m for a Spanish squad player surely Downing should be worth twice that. Well done Kenny, astute as ever.

FA Cup and Champions League: Man Utd

What can you say about Man Utd that hasn't been said before? That they're better than Barcelona that's what. They'll walk the Champions League this year, Barcelona may have the likes of Messi, Xavi and that Biscuits bloke but Man Utd have Rooney, Young and Ferdinand now look at those and ask yourself who are the real world beaters? Man Utd will truly prove they can beat anyone in Europe when they win the FA Cup too.

Carling Cup: Stoke

They've tasted success and they'll want more. Their no-nonsense approach to football will once again show all those fancy dans who think passing has a place in our national sport that they're wrong. As wrong as having a mixer with your whiskey.

Relegation: Swansea, West Brom, Wigan

Usually I'd have Arsenal in there but there place as the league's least British team has been trumped by Swansea. A Welsh team in the English Premier League? It's ridiculous. I mean it was bad enough when they let Newcastle in. Let's hope Swansea go back to where they belong - Cardiff. Wigan will struggle with the foreign Martinez and West Brom will have no chance with Foreign Woy in charge.

Julian's Predictions 24/10/10

2010-09-24T11:40:00.003+01:00

Hi Chaps, I'm Julian Pundit. I've decided to dip my toe into the waters of predictions again. And trust me when I dip something in I like to go the whole way. Well wasn't the Carling Cup exciting this week? I've never seen so many big boys outed in such a short period of time.

Man City v Chelsea
Last year this fixture was blighted when Wayne Bridge wouldn't shake John Terry's hand because he'd done the dirty with his ex. I found the whole thing so vulgar. Imagine sleeping with a woman. Ewwww.
Verdict 1-1

Arsenal v West Brom
I've got a new found respect for Arsenal since I heard what a party animal Vela was. But a six month ban just for inviting a tranny is homophobia plain and simple. Thank God not all countries are as prejudiced against transvestites. Spain pick one up front every game.
Verdict 3-1

Birmingham v Wigan
I love Birmingham. Just like them I've also got a ball ring. Wigan will make a good fist of this one but I expect the Brummies defenders to stand firm against all of Wigan's advances.
Verdict 1-0

Blackpool v Blackburn
All these football teams with similar names. It's so hard to tell them apart. I generally have to resort to identifying them by the length of their balls. Blackburn have huge long ones, but Blackpool like to play with their short ones. And as I always say it's not the length of the ball it's what you do with it that counts.
Verdict 2-1

Fulham v Everton
David Moyes is under pressure due to Everton's bad start to the season. The knives are drawn. I've been in the position where someone wants to stab you in the back before and it's the waiting that's the worst. Then they get going and it's just the best.
Verdict 1-1

Liverpool v Sunderland
When I was growing up there were two ways out of Liverpool, football or showbiz. I took the showbiz route. And there's not a day I don't thank God that I chose the life of a cruise ship entertainer. Oh yes I love to cruise. But sometimes I look at all those spunky boys in shorts and I think maybe football was the life for me. Then I see Steve Bruce's face and I dismiss that idea.
Verdict 2-0

West Ham v Tottenham
The Hammers look to be picking up pace after a slow start but Spurs will be a tough test. I don't know what that means I just read it on a website somewhere. That'll teach me for not checking my spelling when I put 'ham spurt' into Google.
Verdict 1-1

Bolton v Man Utd
Until I heard about Bolton I thought a coil was the only thing worth putting in a woman but it turns out a Coyle is also a manager. I just hope he's never been in a woman because he is buff. Alex Ferguson isn't as much of a catch and he looks like he can hold his drink, never a good sign for someone like me. You can't have nearly as much fun with a straight guy who doesn't let his inhibitions drop.
Verdict 1-2

Wolves v Aston Villa
This is a bit of a black country derby. And you know what they say once you've had black you never go back. And once you've had country you'll never try cunt again. Or something. Anyway Villa to win I guess.
Verdict 1-3

Newcastle v Stoke
I used to go out with a guy I called Geordie. He wasn't from the north east but boy could he nuke arseholes. Now if only could think of some kind of euphemism for Stoke...
Verdict 2-1

Julian Pundit's Predictions

2010-08-27T10:40:00.001+01:00

Hey there, I'm Julian Pundit, my brother used to play for Liverpool, but he probably never mentioned me. We had a bit of a falling out one Christmas when I gave him a salmon pink shirt. Now I never played football but I was the head (and only) cheerleader for my school team so I thought I'd try and fill the gap my late brother left behind. And if there's one thing I'm good at it's filling gaps.

Blackburn v Arsenal
Arsene Wenger is worried about the physical nature of the Blackburn team but I'd love to get physical with them. Apparently they have very long balls. Mmmmmm.
Verdict: 1-0

Blackpool v Fulham
Blackpool aren't my cup of tea. I've had an aversion to pools ever since I went to a party at Michael Barrymore's house. I think Fulham will give them a jolly good trashing the lucky devils.
Verdict 0-3

Chelsea v Stoke
I've always been a big fan of Ashley Cole's but it must be hard for him now his wife has left him, she's simply fabulous. Still if Ashley needs help with his hardship I would bend over backwards for him. I'd bend over forwards too.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Wigan
Tottenham absolutely spanked Young Boys in mid-week. It reminded me of a film I made when I was just out of school actually. I think Wigan will be on the receiving end of a similar punishment.
Verdict 3-1

Wolves v Newcastle
I went for a night out in Newcastle once. I never thought the sight of so many topless men would repulse me so much. Vertical stripes are slimming guys, keep the tops on eh? Apparently Barton has shaved off his moustache too. I don't approve and neither would my brother. It was the one thing we agreed on.
Verdict 1-0

Man Utd v West Ham
There's nothing finer than men united. Although since Ronaldo left I haven't been able to muster up the same sort feeling for them. Still I very idea of trying to muster up similar feelings for Avram Grant makes me sicker than Nicole Ritchie after a big meal.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Birmingham
Owen Coyle is trying to inject himself into those rugged Bolton boys and I think that can only be a good thing. Birmingham are strong and full of spunk. This is my kind of match.
Verdict 2-2

Liverpool v West Brom
Well I'm a Liverpool boy as you know, but I'm glad the players don't have the perms anymore. A man should only have a perm if he's pre-op. Speaking of which, I'm sure I used to know Fernando Torres when he was a man.
Verdict 1-0

Sunderland v Man City
Man City have really splashed the cash, and nothing turns a boy's head like a man with money. Although if I had £150m I wouldn't be wasting it on the likes of Yaya Toure, I'd buy David Beckham and lock myself in a room with him. I think I'll have to go for Sunderland for this match though just out of solidarity for Darren Bent.
Verdict 2-1

Aston Villa v Everton
Aston Villa is in Birmingham isn't it? I like Birmingham. I've often taken a stroll down Cadbury Avenue it has to be said. As for the toffeemen I like my men like I like my toffee. Hard and sticky. Ooh I can't come between these two.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit 1955-2010

2010-01-29T21:42:00.006Z

David Herbert Pundit was born in 1955 in Preston. He was best known for his almost 6 appearances for Liverpool Football Club before making a largely unsuccessful transfer to Tranmere Rovers. He was raised almost single-handedly by his mother after his father abandoned them to live with his mistress in France. At the age of 4 Dave and his mother moved to Liverpool as Mrs Pundit worked by the docks. Dave instantly took to his new home city, citing the influence of the many 'uncles' his mother would introduce to him as a major factor in his youth.

Unable to return to his home between the hours of 6 and 9pm due to his mother's entertaining Dave spent a large amount of his childhood playing football in the street. Despite no discernible talent Dave did have the advantage of being almost freakishly large. Later in his life he would proudly boast of breaking his first opponents leg at the age of 10, three hours after his first drink of whisky.

In 1969 Dave Pundit signed as a youth to Liverpool F.C under a bizarre Liverpudlian law which stated that any young man who couldn't play music must be able to play football. This law was scrapped shortly after Dave's first appearance for the youth team.

Dave played in the heyday of footballing alcoholism and he was no stranger to the drink himself. After turning up to one training session four days late and in the wrong country he was placed on the transfer list. He was eventually snapped up by Tranmere in what was described as "probably the most mediocre transfer of all time". However after breaking their star striker's leg on his first day at the club he struggled to ingratiate himself with both the fans and the club's management.

During his time at Tranmere Dave's alcoholism became much worse and he managed to go through two marriages, although he always denied the first one happened as he never knew his wife's name. It lasted six years.

After retiring from football Dave struggled to find gainful employment. His attempts at football management blighted by his inability to grasp any of the basic precepts of tactics or man-management. He was sacked from his one and only job at non-league Telford United after punching his chief scout for suggesting he signed a foreigner.

In 2004 Dave had a successful liver transplant and promised that he would treat his new one with respect. From then on in he only drank Premium lagers.

In the last couple of years of his life Dave discovered the world of punditry after a chance encounter with Steve Claridge in a pub. Dave used up his life savings to pay Steve Claridge to get him a Diploma of Punditry. Probably the only one in existence. Although no major broadcaster had the courage to sign Dave due to his forthright views Dave found a home on the Internet where his predictions were loved and derided in equal measure.

Dave sadly passed away on a friend's stag do in Dublin after walking into a pub and proclaiming Robbie Keane to be England's finest uncapped player. Despite the doctors best attempt to revive him the trauma to his head was too severe and he was pronounced dead in the early hours of Thursday morning.

Dave is survived by his current wife Anastasiya and his two sons Barry and Dave Junior and his daughter Valium. He will also be remembered by his Internet fans who will never again be able to hear his famous introduction; Hi, I'm Dave Pundit.

Goodbye, Dave Pundit. R.I.P

Dave Pundit's Predictions 16/01/09

2010-01-15T09:52:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. In my day football wasn't about money, or who owned the club, or even about who won what. Liverpool won everything so that was all that mattered. Football's really gone to the dogs if you ask me. I blame Satellite TV, if they didn't show it all over the world none of the foreigners would've ever heard of football and we wouldn't be in the mess we're in.

Stoke v Liverpool
Gerrard out. Torres out. Benayoun out. Actually I'm not to fussed about Benayoun to be honest but you do have to ask where the goals are going to come from against a strong Stoke side. Luckily Liverpool still have quality players like Mascherano, Carragher and Reina so they should be alright.
Verdict 0-2

Chelsea v Sunderland
Sunderland have taken a few big scalps this season but Chelsea won't be one of them. Not with John Terry in the side. I'm not even sure he has a scalp. From his eyes up it's just solid rock.
Verdict 3-0

Manchester United v Burnley
Man Utd haven't been in great form but isn't that the true sign of champions? Burnley away have been rubbish and just because they've got a new manager in won't change a thing. It never does.
Verdict 2-0

Portsmouth v Birmingham
Portsmouth looked a bit better when Avram Grant came in, a new manager will do that every time. But now they're back in the doldrums and I can't see them getting out of them. Alex McLeish has been touted as a possible successor to Rafa Benitez, it's a bit early for all that but at least he's English.
Verdict 0-1

Tottenham v Hull
I was shocked when I heard Harry Redknapp was arrested for tax evasion. I can't imagine him every being involved in financial irregularities. And I've thought that ever since he slipped me a tenner to let him score in a charity match we played in. I think he had a couple of grand riding on the result so it was the least I could do.
Verdict 2-0

Wolves v Wigan
At the start of the season I tipped Wolves to go down. What was I thinking? Mick McCarthy is as British as they come whereas Martinez is as foreign as his name suggests. Let's hope Wolves stuff 'em.
Verdict 1-0

Everton v Manchester City
After a slow start Moyes' men look like a force to be reckoned with. Man City on the other hand may well lose some of their defensive strength now that Hughes has left and some Spaniard or something is in charge. This could be a thriller.
Verdict 0-0

Aston Villa v West Ham
Martin O'Neill v Gianfranco Zola. As players it wouldn't have even been a contest. Zola would've run rings around O'Neill right up until he booted him up in the air. And as managers O'Neill is just as strong. Villa will walk this.
Verdict 2-0

Blackburn v Fulham
This is a proper British match. It's almost a derby match, if it wasn't for the fact that the teams are from different ends of the country and have no real connection other than being mid-level premiership teams. What a scorcher!
Verdict 1-1

Bolton v Arsenal
Owen Coyle will want to get off to a flyer here and there's no reason why he shouldn't. He no longer has to rely on fancy, lightweight, talented footballers so he can realise his true potential at Bolton. Arsenal won't enjoy this match. I don't think they've ever beaten Bolton.
Verdict 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 09/01/10

2010-01-08T10:01:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A lot of games recently have been called off due to the adverse weather. I find this ridiculous. In my day our only concession to snow was to have yellow balls. But we were allowed to smoke more back then.

Arsenal v Everton
I bet Arsenal were glad that the game against Bolton was called off mid-week. The foreign legion at Arsenal wouldn't have been up for that. How would a Russian like Arshavin have coped in the freezing cold? Everton will have to take advantage of Arsenal's legendary inability to play when things are a little bit difficult for them.
Verdict 1-2

Birmingham v Man Utd
Birmingham have been very impressive recently. Grit, determination and a British manager. Man Utd also have grit, determination and a British manager so on paper it looks pretty even. But Man Utd will win it because they're Man Utd.
Verdict 0-2

Burnley v Stoke
Without Owen Coyle in charge Burnley might stop playing passing football and resort to being an old fashioned, ugly, dull side that are happy to have 10 men behind the ball at all times, just like Stoke. Marvellous.
Verdict 0-0

Fulham v Portsmouth
Portsmouth are in so much trouble it's almost not worth talking about them.
Verdict 2-0

Hull v Chelsea
Hull will keep fighting until the bitter end I'm sure and that is to their credit. Any team that doesn't give it their all in every game doesn't deserve to stay up. However they'll struggle against Chelsea who don't need the likes of Drogba, Essien or Kalou to be great. They've got John Terry. He provides strength in depth all on his own. If I was Hull I wouldn't even bother turning up.
Verdict 0-3

Sunderland v Bolton
Gary Megson has been very harshly done by in my opinion. Bolton have been thuggish, uninspiring, boring and dour. What more could you ask for? Sure, they haven't reached the heights of Sam Allardyce's reign but it would be hard for any manager to keep up that level of thuggish, uninspiring, boring and dour brilliance.
Verdict 1-0

Wigan v Aston Villa
What has happened to Wigan? Last season this sort of fixture would have been tough even for a team with an English core like Villa but this year it'll be a walk in the park. It would be easy to blame it all on Roberto Martinez. Easy and right.
Verdict 1-3

Liverpool v Tottenham
What a match this should be. The mighty Liverpool could really do their charge up the league the power of good here but it won't be easy against Spurs' British spine of Dawson, Jenas and Keane. Liverpool will just edge it but they could really do with a striker like Keane to help out Torres in my opinion.
Verdict 2-1

West Ham v Wolverhampton
Now if Mick McCarthy ever had an opportunity to play a weakened team this is it. The Hammers are a shadow of their former selves with Gianfranco Zola in charge who ironically is so short he probably doesn't even cast a shadow.
Verdict 0-1

Man City v Blackburn
Mancini has had a good start at City but this will be his first real challenge. Can he cope watching his team being literally murdered in front of his eyes? I doubt it. Foreign jessie.
Verdict 1-2

Dave Pundit's Festive Predictions

2009-12-24T09:45:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It's Christmas, a time for giving and receiving, a time for festive cheer and a time for children. But we have to spare a thought for some of the negatives about Christmas, the people with no families or no home to go to and the fact that the pubs don't stay open all day. What kind of holiday is that? A foreign one if you ask me.

Birmingham v Chelsea
Birmingham have been in fine form recently and if they can add a few leg breaking challenges to the second half of the season they might even scrape a European spot. But they won't beat Chelsea. Apparently there hasn't been enough grit for all the snow this week. Well I'm not surprised, John Terry has it all.
Verdict 0-2

Fulham v Tottenham
Fulham's result against Man Utd was stunning. But it can be easily explained by the injuries to their British spine. Sadly for Fulham have no such problem. You don't get much more British than Dawson, Huddlestone and Keane.
Verdict 0-1

West Ham v Portsmouth
Neither of these teams have been performing well this year and are you surprised when you look at the managers? I doubt the Italians even celebrate Christmas and I can't imagine an Israeli like Grant even knows where Bethlehem is. In football terms if you're going to entrust your team to foreigners you get what you deserve.
Verdict 2-2

Burnley v Bolton
Burnley have been great at home but I've been disappointed by them to be honest. When I was told we'd have a good northern team like Burnley in the Premier League but they've come up, tried to play exciting, beautiful football. You wouldn't catch Bolton trying that.
Verdict 0-1

Man City v Stoke
Mark Hughes was treated unfairly by the Man City board, and now they've made the cardinal sin of bringing in a foreign manager. I've said it before and I'll say it again foreign managers have no place in football.
Verdict 1-1

Sunderland v Everton
Both these teams have been a bit hit and miss, but at least they're consistently hit and miss. That's because they have good English managers. It makes these games much easier to predict. It'll be violent, bloody and British. And probably a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Wigan v Blackburn
Now this should be a corker as long as Martinez doesn't try to play football. Trying to play football against Blackburn is like trying to play strip poker with your gran. She doesn't understand the rules and it'll probably end up with you getting a smack round the head.
Verdict 0-0

Liverpool v Wolves
I think we need to get behind Rafa Benitez. He's come over here from Spain and faced a lot of prejudice. That doesn't help any manager. It's Christmas so maybe we should all try and be a little more tolerant. I think 2010 will herald great things for Liverpool they're on the verge of big things. Trust me. Plus Mick McCarthy will probably field 3 outfield players and the tea lady for this one.
Verdict 3-0

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsene Wenger and his mob will be looking forward to the end of another trophyless year. However if they're expecting any gifts off of Villa this Christmas they'll be sorely disappointed. I imagine Wenger will be eating a big slice of humble mince pie after this match.
Verdict 0-2

Hull v Man Utd
You'd never have expected Fulham to beat Man Utd but if football has taught me anything it's to always expect the unexpected. And I expect Man Utd to win this one so I guess it'll be a Hull victory. But now I'm expecting that it'll have to be a Man Utd one. Which just goes to show you can't back against the Champions.
Verdict 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions 12/12/09

2009-12-11T10:05:00.005Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. You may have noticed a lack of predictions in recent weeks, unfortunately I received a call from Steve Claridge a fortnight ago telling me I needed to renew my Diploma in Punditry. So I've spent the last two weeks scraping together the £2500 I needed. Luckily for a man of my talents this was no problem. Look out for my cash-in Christmas DVD. Dave's Massive Tackles. I didn't really look at the script but I assume it's one of those compilation video's of footballing mishaps. What else could it be?

Stoke v Wigan
I can't believe the furore over the bust up between Tony Pulis and James Beattie. In my day I argued with the gaffer on a daily basis. Of course I always had to back down, respect the managers wishes and put my hand in my pocket and buy the next round. Of course no one argues with Martinez. He speaks foreign so no one knows what he's saying anyway.
Verdict 1-0

Birmingham v West Ham
Gianfranco Zola has ruined West Ham. No wonder they can't find a buyer. I mean it would be like buying a fantastic old Rover and it turning out to have an Italian engine. And let's face the Italians probably know as much about cars as they do about football.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Man City
City did an amazing job to beat Chelsea last week, but this is another kettle of fish altogether. Bolton are the masters of dull, defensive, violent football and I'm not sure Mark Hughes will understand that brand of football. This could be a toughy for City.
Verdict 1-1

Burnley v Fulham
Burnley's home form is pretty good for a club that has just come up but I do worry about the fact that they try to play football. That's pretty much the last thing a Championship level team should be doing. Fulham might sneak a win here if they can exploit Burnley's bizarre desire to score goals.
Verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Everton
One of the signs of a good team is the ability to bounce back after after a defeat. Another sign of a good team is John Terry. John Terry is a brick and nothing bounces back better than a brick. Everton won't stand a chance.
Verdict 3-1

Hull v Blackburn
Hull have been a bit hit and miss this season. Blackburn have been typical of a Sam Allardyce team; lots of hitting. Hopefully both teams will hit each other hard in this bruising encounter. It's a good job Jimmy Bullard is injured his glass knees would be shattered permanently if he played in this game. And you hate to see that sort of thing happen to an Englishman.
Verdict 0-1

Sunderland v Portsmouth
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth paying £2500 for my Punditry Diploma. I could do this sort of match with my eyes shut. Sunderland will walk this one. Unless Portsmouth can pull of something special, of course. You can't predict anything in football.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Wolves
Tottenham are fourth in the league for a reason they're the best team in the country behind the big four, Man City and maybe Villa. Wolves on the other hand are absolute guff.
Verdict 2-0

Man Utd v Aston Villa
Despite all their injuries Man Utd are still winning games. That's the true sign of a good team. In fact I'd go as far as to say it proves they're the best team in the league and the fact that they're second backs that up. Villa are good but I don't think they can defeat Man Utd English spine of Rooney, Giggs and whatever young player they've got to draft into defence but he's bound to be an Englishman isn't he? I can't name one Man Utd player who isn't English.
Verdict 2-1

Liverpool v Arsenal
Rafa's master plan is just about to come into fruition. His clever tactics have put him in a prime position to win the Europa League and a good win against a bunch of foreign muppets will set them up nicely in the league. Arsenal bounced back after there defeat to Chelsea, but that's not a sign of a good team, they've also managed to cope with injuries but again that's not a sign of a good team either. In midweek the even played with an English spine of Bartley, Ramsey and Walcott but again that's not the sign of a good team. Having a British manager is what counts. And that's why Liverpool will win this one.
Verdict 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/11/09

2009-11-20T10:26:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Once again we have seen the French bringing the game into disrepute. Is there a more foreign nation than the French? I don't think so. And once again it's an honest British team that loses out. Quite frankly I abhor any kind of cheating or unfair play. If I'd been on the pitch I wouldn't have gone bleating to the ref I'd've just punched Thierry Henry square in the face.

Liverpool v Man City
Steven Gerrard should be back for Liverpool and that will make this a walk in the park for Liverpool. Man City might have bought top class players all over the pitch but Liverpool have Steven Gerrard. If he'd been French they'd never have never needed to cheat to win. But thankfully Gerrard is English so he never cheats.
Verdict 2-0

Birmingham v Fulham
Birmingham haven't been the leg-breaking, head-butting, violent machine that they were last time they were up. I, for one, am very disappointed in them. I don't wish injuries on anyone except the French but if Birmingham want to stay up this year they're going to have to get cracking.
Verdict 1-1

Burnley v Aston Villa
Thank God the premiership can still produce matches like this. Both teams built around strong English spines. Not a Frenchman in sight. But Villa will just edge it because even the foreign players they have are like Brits. Take Carew for example, he's a strong battling forward who's not afraid to get stuck in to a stripper. And his name's John. Are we sure he's foreign?
Verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Wolves
Now this is just unfair. Even if Wolverhampton played a team consisting of real wolves they'd still lose against John Terry. He literally eats wolves for breakfast and then he defecates lions. That's how British he is. He'll destroy Wolves single handedly and then give Malouda a slap for his part in the Irish travesty.
Verdict 3-0

Hull v West Ham
Hull have a British manager. West Ham have an Italian and they're almost French. In fact they might even be more French. Take the Second World War, they fought with the Germans, swapped sides and then pretty much surrendered. How French can you get?
Verdict 1-0

Sunderland v Arsenal
I just can't see Sunderland winning this one I'm afraid. Arsenal will have seen Thierry Henry literally get away with murder and they'll do exactly the same here, like the cheating French capitulators that they are. Let's hope the ref is strong and Sunderland might scrape a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Man Utd v Everton
Now this is more like it. Two good English teams duking it out. That's hat football should be about. And not a French man in sight. In fact I doubt either of these teams has ever played a French man. And thank God for that.
Verdict 2-1

Bolton v Blackburn
The game of the weekend no doubt. Talk about bloodbath this will be a blood swimming pool. Or an ocean, that's even bigger than a pool. I can't wait for this. It'll be a barn storming classic.
Verdict 0-0

Tottenham v Wigan
Poor Robbie Keane will still be smarting from the France game but he's a strong solid Brit so I expect him to play with a stiff upper lip and I'm willing to bet that lip will get him a hatful of goals.
Verdict 4-1

Stoke v Portsmouth
Portsmouth aren't a bad team but they've struggled this season and it'll be hard for them at the Britannia. Ah the Britannia what a great name for a stadium I bet the French don't have a stadium called the Frenchtania do they? They've never done anything good in their entire history. God the French have riled me so much I need to go to the pub. A couple of Kronenbourgs should sort me right out.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 07/11/09

2009-11-06T09:57:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. November is a notoriously difficult month for footballers. It's a month until Christmas and they'll all have one eye on their Christmas parties. Of course true professionals understand that they have to remain focused. There's nothing worse than being dropped for poor performances in the run up to the festive season and having to go to the reserve party. The hookers are completely sub-standard, trust me.

Aston Villa v Bolton
Villa showed against West Ham they have a soft centre. Whereas Bolton's middle is rock hard. Pretty much immovable in my opinion, which is exactly what you want in midfield. That way you can just bypass them with long balls over the top.
Verdict 1-1

Blackburn v Portsmouth
Pompey's form has improved recently, but then it could hardly get worse could it? However they won't have enough for Big Sam's Blackburn. Paul Hart is really going to have to earn himself a nickname soon or Pompey will be going down.
Verdict 2-0

Man City v Burnley
Burnley's away form makes this the easiest game of the weekend to predict. But football isn't a predictable game and I'd be a fool to try.
Verdict 3-0

Tottenham v Sunderland
Spurs were unlucky against Arsenal last week, they played brilliantly apart from their complete capitulation. If they can cut out better sides beating them they'll win more. Sunderland have been in decent form this year but are they better than Tottenham? Maybe, but probably not. It's probably safest to say this'll be a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Wolves v Arsenal
This is exactly the kind of game that can be a banana skin for Arsenal. They literally never beat the teams from the bottom half. Especially if they have to go outside of London to play them. Wolverhampton is probably far enough north to stop Wenger's Frog chorus.
Verdict 2-1

Hull v Stoke
Last year this would've been a real humdinger but this year Hull have been rubbish. I'm not the kind of person to get on a manager's back but I'd've sacked Phil Brown ages ago. He's not good enough. Sack him. Sack him now. Get him out. Out.
Verdict 0-1

West Ham v Everton
Neither of these teams have lived up to last season's high standards but with Everton it really is just down to bad luck with injuries, whereas West Ham were stupid to stick with that Italian pygmy, Gianfranco Zola.
Verdict 0-2

Wigan v Fulham
Could this be the game of the weekend? No.
Verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is what football is about Man Utd's strong English spine of Rooney, Ferdinand and Fletcher up against John Terry. His spine is like a steel rod; strong, powerful and utterly inflexible. What else do you need in a spine?
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/10/09

2009-10-30T09:59:00.003Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I feel sorry for Marlon King. Don't get me wrong I don't condone violence towards women but in my day if you wanted to give the wife a slap you could bottle it up and then take it out on an opposition player on Saturday. But nowadays they've banned going in studs showing, waist high and from behind. I blame the referees.

Arsenal v Tottenham
This fixture last season ended up 4-4. Which goes to show how poor Arsenal's defence was even then and how strong Tottenham's attack was. And now Spurs' front line is even stronger. Crouch, Defoe and Keane are three of Britain's best strikers. Whereas Arsenal have Van Persie, Arshavin and Eduardo who not only aren't British but at least one of them isn't even a striker.
Verdict 1-2

Bolton v Chelsea
This will be a bruising encounter no doubt but Chelsea will have the edge, because when it comes to bruising that's what John Terry does best. Unlike Marlon King he saves his brutality for the pitch. You wouldn't catch him punching anyone in a club.
Verdict 0-2

Burnley v Hull
In many ways Burnley are this years Hull. They have got some shock wins, have played good football and no one really knows who they are. Or indeed cares.
Verdict 1-0

Everton v Aston Villa
Everton's squad has literally been blown to pieces by injury and because of this they've struggled a bit. Villa on the other hand have a strong squad. Any team that can keep Heskey on the bench is doing something right.
Verdict 0-1

Fulham v Liverpool
Liverpool showed they are still a threat by beating Man Utd last week. It was probably the most fantastic display of the season. And they did it without Gerrard. That just proves how strong they are. I don't want to go overboard but Liverpool are easily the greatest team ever. This week they play Fulham. Quite frankly though it could be Barcelona and Real Madrid at the same time and Liverpool would still win. Last week's result proves that beyond a doubt.
Verdict 0-4

Manchester United v Blackburn
Blackburn have been hit by swine flu but pigs will fly before Big Sam lets some little bug defeat his team. He'll probably bend over backwards to let his best mate Sir Alex win though. That's called respect.
Verdict 2-0

Portsmouth v Wigan
Talking of respect Martinez has none. How dare he insult the great Alex Ferguson? It shows a complete lack of class. Alex Ferguson has done nothing but good in the game and deserves to be treated with the utmost respect. Martinez could learn a lot from Fergie. You wouldn't catch him bad mouthing anyone.
Verdict 2-1

Stoke v Wolves
A wise man once said Football is a funny old game. But he was drunk. And if he was forced to watch this sort of game you can see why.
Verdict 1-1

Sunderland v West Ham
Steve Bruce has done a good job at Sunderland and I expect them to get a good result again here. As long as they go a couple of goals up there's no way West Ham could ever get back from that. They've got no fight.
Verdict 2-0

Birmingham v Man City
City have looked dangerous this season and they could get a hatful here. Birmingham however have struggled to score goals this year and in January I fully expect them to buy a striker. Luckily Emile Heskey could be available.
Verdict 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions 23/10/09

2009-10-23T10:42:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I don't really like to get involved in politics but I feel I have to mention Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time. There is no place in this country for racists like him. Personally I think we should stick him on the first plane out of here. And he can take all the foreign footballers that are ruining the British game with him.

Wolves v Aston Villa
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, and this is definitely just two teams from the same area of the country playing each other. Villa have a proud Brit in charge whereas Wolves have an Irishman. Just one reason why Villa will walk it.
Verdict 0-2

Birmingham v Sunderland
Steve Bruce has got Sunderland playing very well recently but this could be a stern test for them. Birmingham don't score many goals but they're strong in the tackle and willing to injure players. And you don't win games with goals.
Verdict 0-0

Burnley v Wigan
Burnley at home are very different to Burnley away. It's like they're two different teams. It reminds me of a guy who drinks in my pub. Out with the lads he's a diamond. Funny, happy and great to be with. But when the wife turns up to drag him home he turns into a pussy cat. You wouldn't catch my wife embarrassing me like that. She just gives me a discreet phone call when it's time for me to go home.
Verdict 1-1

Hull v Portsmouth
Both these teams are already looking down the barrel of the relegation gun. It's far to early to say that no matter what the result both these teams will go down, but I can't see it making a blind bit of difference who wins this one.
Verdict 0-2

Tottenham v Stoke
I have a lot of time for Stoke. They play football the way it's meant to be played. With a grim look of determination present at all times and vast range of passing. And by vast, I mean long.
However I think they'll struggle against Tottenham's British spine of King, Jenas and Keane.
Verdict 2-1

Chelsea v Blackburn
This is the game of the weekend no doubt. Big Sam's warriors coming up against the might of John Terry. John Terry is a man who is so competitive that he can start a fight with a goalpost. That's what we need more of in this country. Have you ever seen a foreigner shout at a goalpost? No. I rest my case.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Everton
Let's face it you don't want to go to the Reebok with a depleted squad. By the time the game finishes you probably wont even be able to field a five-a-side team. Everton might as well not turn up.
Verdict 1-0

Liverpool v Manchester United
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, this is about as local as they get. Liverpool will be seething after being robbed in the last four games. So they'll want to win this one. But as it's a derby game I'd be breaking all the rules of punditry if I didn't predict a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Manchester City v Fulham
City are a true English team. Lescott, Barry, Bellamy. These sort of players aren't mercenaries just playing for the money. Quite frankly a lot of players from other clubs could learn from their example. And perhaps Fulham's Egyptian chairman could learn from City's example of how to run a club the British way too.
Verdict 2-1

West Ham v Arsenal
It was Wenger's 60th birthday this week and he couldn't ask for a better present than coming up against a midget Italian and his bunch of foreign fools. Unfortunately for Wenger his own team are a bunch of surrender monkeys as shown against AZ Alkmaar. It'll probably be a foreign style score draw.
Verdict 2-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/10/09

2009-10-16T10:04:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people were hoping that Argentina wouldn't make it to the World Cup finals next year. Personally I like all the big name teams to be there so once they've qualified who cares if piddly little South American teams like Argentina join the party?

Aston Villa v Chelsea
Chelsea haven't had many stern tests yet this season but this could be one of them. Luckily they have John Terry, who has never met a test that could out stern him. He's got more stern than the QE2. Does that even make sense? Who cares? It's John Terry, people. John Terry.
Verdict 0-2

Arsenal v Birmingham
The last time these two met Martin Taylor lunged in clumsily on Eduardo and broke his leg. Effectively ending Arsenal's challenge for the title. It might be a little early in the season for Birmingham to do it again, but let's hope they give it go.
Verdict 1-2

Everton v Wolves
Everton have been missing the English steel of Jagielka at the back but even without him they should be able to easily see off Wolves. Mick McCarthy may be a good old Irish boy but all his blarney, riverdancing and Guinness won't help him in the Premier League. Wolves need a manager with a bit of Northern grit.
Verdict 2-0

Man Utd v Bolton
The Bolton fans aren't keen on Gary Megson. His brand of football is dull, workmanlike and uninspiring. What's not to like? However even Megson's men will struggle against Man Utd, they're not just the champions because they won the league you know, the also have great players. Let's just hope the ref can keep up with them.
Verdict 2-1

Portsmouth v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp will get a lot of stick on his return to Fratton Park but I think that's unfair. He bought in a lot of great players and still made a profit. Seriously I've seen his house, it's huge. He must've made a packet off all those players he brought in.
Verdict 1-3

Stoke v West Ham
Back when I was younger Stoke v West Ham was always a display of beautiful football. But only one of these teams has stuck to the sort of football the purists like to see. Whereas West Ham have let some short-arse foreigner ruin them.
Verdict 1-0

Sunderland v Liverpool
It's far too early to write Liverpool off. They may have lost three games but they've got a couple of genuine world class match winners in their team. Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher. With those two in the team anything is possible. Even with makeweights like Torres.
Verdict 0-2

Blackburn v Burnley
Now this is what football is all about, a passionate Northern derby day. This will be like a clash of the titans, only bigger. It'll be more like two gods going up against each other. It'll be end to end, violent, ugly football. A true, true classic.
Verdict 0-0

Wigan v Man City
This could be a tough game for City. They've had a lot of players away in far-flung places this week so tiredness could be a factor. This is why you shouldn't have all the "world class" foreigners in your squad. You wouldn't have caught the likes of Michael Ball, Darius Vassell and Paul Dickov swanning off on international duty would you?
Verdict 1-1

Fulham v Hull City
Hull need a few good results on the trot if they want to have any hope of staying up. But they'll struggle here against Fulham's English spine of Andy Johnson, Danny Murphy and Brede Hangeland. Wait, Hangeland isn't English. I can't believe I'd make such a stupid mistake, that's never happened before.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/10/09

2009-10-02T00:39:00.004+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sometimes I look at the youngsters playing football and I think to myself "Dave, you're getting old." But with age comes wisdom, take Ryan Giggs for example, he may be getting on a bit but he's still canny enough to play his part for Man Utd. How he's never been picked for England I'll never know.

Bolton v Tottenham
Unlike their North London neighbours Tottenham don't need to play football to win games. But their strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane will have to be at their battling best today because Bolton are capable of breaking anybody's spine. And that's how the game should be played.
Verdict 1-1

Burnley v Birmingham
Burnley are formidable at home. Tenacious, committed and full of good old English grit, just like a bulldog. In fact I used to have a bulldog which I fed entirely on grit. He didn't live long but he sure as hell went for the postman. That'll teach the Royal Mail to hire foreigners. I mean who's ever even heard of place called Guernsey?
Verdict 1-0

Hull v Wigan
First Burnley v Birmingham no this. Could this be the grittiest fixture list ever? I'll tell you what; I might not be able to predict the result but I sure as hell know there won't be any icy roads in Hull tonight. Because of the grit, you see. That was a joke. Maybe I should just stick to predictions, I'm far better at them.
Verdict 6-5

Wolves v Portsmouth
A lot of people would struggle to work up any enthusiasm for this match, but not me. I'm not even going to try.
Verdict 1-2

Manchester Utd v Sunderland
Man Utd showed what a good side they are in the Champions League this week. They may have left it late against Wolfsburg but they got the result and that's what matters at this level. I can see them doing exactly the same to Sunderland.
Verdict 3-0

Arsenal v Blackburn
Theo Walcott might be available for this match, which is good because I can't remember the last time an Englishman played for the Gunners. Cliff Bastin probably. It took a long time for Arsenal to open up Olympiakos in midweek and that's just not good enough at this level. Big Sam's Blackburn won't let Arsenal's fruity foreigners off so easily.
Verdict 0-2

Everton v Stoke
Everton struggle going forward. Saha is their best striker but let's face it he's a Man Utd reject. That says a lot about Everton's Champions League aspirations if you ask me. You wouldn't get a team like Man City, say, buying players who couldn't hold down a place at Old Trafford. Stoke have a long throw and that could be the difference here.
Verdict 1-2

West Ham v Fulham
Fulham were unlucky against Arsenal last week whereas West Ham are lucky to even be in the Premiership with Zola in charge. Height isn't everything in management but how can you take a man seriously when he could be twice as tall and you'd still have to kneel down to headbutt him?
Verdict 0-2

Chelsea v Liverpool
Football is a team game and both of these clubs have fantastic players all over the park but this can really be boiled down to Terry v Gerrard. The irresistible force coming up against the immovable object. You can only really see it ending one way: apocalypse. Or a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Aston Villa v Man City
This sort of game is a pundit's nightmare, and a lazy pundit would sit on the fence and call it a draw. But I didn't get my Diploma in Punditry by being lazy. I paid Steve Claridge five grand for it.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 26/09/09

2009-09-25T09:57:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Much has been made about the injury time that is added on at the end of matches. This is not a new phenomena, I remember a match I was involved in that had eight minutes of injury time. Luckily I'd been sent off for breaking someone's leg, so I still managed to get to the pub in time to see the vidiprinter on Grandstand.

Portsmouth v Everton
Fratton Park is a fortress. However it's not a very good one. You wouldn't put your crown jewels in there would you? Especially since Sol Campbell left. Everton have managed to recover from their poor start and I expect them to literally stuff Pompey.
Verdict 1-2

Birmingham v Bolton
I fully expect this to be a rip-roaring battle. Birmingham have a lot of injuries and I'm sure they'll pick up a few more here. Now I can't condone horror tackles but I'd be very disappointed if there weren't any in this game.
Verdict 0-0

Blackburn v Aston Villa
They say the sign of a good team is that they can win even when they're not playing good football. Villa seem to have got the knack of this so far this season. However, Big Sam Allardyce is the master of rubbish football, so Villa could struggle here.
Verdict 1-1

Liverpool v Hull
Liverpool are firing on all cylinders now, which is bad news for Hull. It's far too early in the season to start talking about firing managers but Phil Brown has got to start getting results or he could be for the chop, which would be a shame, what other manager's skin colour matches the team's kits?
Verdict 3-1

Stoke v Manchester Utd
Man Utd v Man City was 4-3, Stoke v Blackpool was 4-3, but I can't see this one being another 4-3 thriller.
Verdict 3-4

Tottenham v Burnley
Spurs have fallen away a bit after their good start and they were very unfortunate to lose Ledley King to injury against Chelsea. You just can't prepare for that. However they still have a strong English spine with Huddlestone, Jenas and Keane, so I expect them to see off Burnley here.
Verdict 2-0

Wigan v Chelsea
Chelsea have had a fantastic start to the season and I think all the credit can go to one man; John Terry. He is a glorious leader and I don't think it's hyping him too much to put him on the same level as Winston Churchill. Perhaps even better. John Terry wouldn't have fought the Germans on the beaches, he'd have swum out to sea and beaten the hun to death with a large fish.
Verdict 0-3

Fulham v Arsenal
Arsenal proved in the Carling Cup that their youngsters are following in the first teams football. None more so than young Jack Wilshere, acting like a French tartlet when he clashed with Thomas. And what kind of a name is Wilshere anyway? Doesn't sound very English to me. Not like Stephen Ireland or Jason Scotland. Fulham will put Arsenal in their place.
Verdict 2-1

Sunderland v Wolves
When Mick McCarthy was in charge of Sunderland they were awful, he'll have a point to prove when he returns with Wolves. Sadly Wolves are rubbish so he's got no chance.
Verdict 2-0

Man City v West Ham
City suffered a set back against their Manchester rivals last week but they'll bounce back against Gianfranco Zola's West Ham. I'll make no bones about it I don't think Zola should be in charge of the Hammers. Something needs to be done about it. Perhaps a sign outside Upton Park that says 'you must be at least this tall to manage our club'.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 19/09/09

2009-09-18T10:09:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Like the vast majority of people I was disgusted by Adebayor's stamp last weekend. This is just another example of how foreigners are ruining the game. If that had been a British player Van Persie wouldn't have been able to carry on after being booted in the face.

Burnley v Sunderland
Steve Bruce was possibly the finest Englishman never to play for England. It's just a shame he didn't have a Northern Irish Grandfather like me then Bruce could've made a real impact on the international scene. Burnley on the other hand have a proven Irish international as their manager so perhaps Owen Coyle's added experience could prove to be the difference here.
Verdict 1-0

Arsenal v Wigan
Last season this would have been an easy win for Wigan, Arsenal always struggled against middle of the table teams managed by proud Brits. But now Wigan have Martinez in charge this game will probably be full of foo-foo fancy-dan foreign free-flowing football and only one person loses out there; the fans. And Wigan probably.
Verdict 2-1

Aston Villa v Portsmouth
Aston Villa will take a lot from their victory over Birmingham last week, but quite frankly you don't need confidence to beat Pompey these days. You barely even need to turn up. In fact if Villa's bus got stuck in traffic on the way to the ground Pompey would still struggle to scrape a draw. But sadly for Portsmouth Villa are at home so that won't be a problem.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Stoke
Bolton are the absolute masters of so called anti-football, they're negative, dour, uninspiring and insipid and Stoke are their equals. This should be an absolute barn-stormer.
Verdict 0-0

Hull v Birmingham
If this was closer to the end of the season it would be a real six pointer but because it's near the start only three points are up for grabs. Which is a shame because six points would be very handy for both teams. But they'll probably get one each.
Verdict 1-1

West Ham v Liverpool
Liverpool had a slow start but I think they're right back in the swing of things now and they'll make West Ham feel very small and insignificant. Which their manager already is, of course.
Verdict 0-3

Man Utd v Man City
It's impossible to predict derby games like this. They can go either way and form and pedigree goes out of the window. But Manchester United will win this, without a doubt. Both teams are in good form, but Man Utd just have that little bit extra class.
Verdict 2-1

Wolves v Fulham
This one is difficult for me to predict. Mainly because I don't know anything about Wolves. Nor do I care.
Verdict 0-2

Everton v Blackburn
This will be a tough ask for Everton, they've looked fragile this season and if there's any team you don't want to play it's Big Sam's Blackburn. They will literally snap you in half if you let them. Like twigs, or Brazilian's legs. It's about time that David Moyes got himself a size-based nickname, I doubt you can succeed in football without one. I myself was known as 'Bloated' Dave Pundit.
Verdict 0-1

Chelsea v Tottenham
They've saved the best until last this weekend. Can Tottenham's English spine of King, Huddlestone and Keane match up to Chelsea's spine of John Terry? The answer is no. Nothing is stronger than John Terry's spine. Except maybe John Terry's English pride. Quite frankly if his spine and his patriotism ever collided it would destroy Switzerland. So we can only hope it happens soon.
Verdict 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 12/09/09

2009-09-11T10:06:00.004+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people are building up England's chances for the World Cup after their destruction of Croatia. But quite frankly we should be beating tinpot countries like that. I mean where the hell is Croatia? When I played for Northern Ireland we would have to face real countries like Germany, Italy and Yugoslavia.

Blackburn v Wolverhampton
When Wolves looked at the fixture list they would have been dreading this encounter. Big Sam will tell his plays to literally go out and eat Wolves for breakfast. Wolves will have to be prepared for a real battle here and I don't think they'll be up to it. Does their manager have a nickname? No. In fact I barely know who he is.
Verdict 2-0

Liverpool v Burnley
Burnley haven't got a hope have they? Fresh from his single-handed demolition of Croatia Steven Gerrard will crush Burnley like the ants they are. Let's face it there's no chance of Burnley ever beating a top four team.
Verdict 3-0

Man City v Arsenal
If Man City want to break into the top four they'll have to win the big games. And this is an ideal way to prepare themselves for those big games. Arsenal have proven time and time again that they're just a bunch of diving foreigners. Let's hope Man City don't get suckered by Arsenal's evil players like Eduardo. Is there a worse person on the face of the earth? No.
Verdict 2-1

Portsmouth v Bolton
Both teams will be looking at this game to kickstart their seasons. It'll be a rip-snorting clash, with every player giving their all for the full 90 minutes plus injury time, which there's bound to be a ton of. It'll be exciting, violent and wonderful. The sort of game football was made for. I can't hype it up enough. This will be magnificent.
Verdict 0-0

Stoke v Chelsea
I have a lot of time for Stoke. They did fantastically last season and beat the drop comfortably without ever having to resort to playing football. But they've met their match in that department with Chelsea. If John Terry went out their on his own Chelsea would still win. But then that applies to every Chelsea game. In fact perhaps they should try it, those other players are clearly holding Terry back.
Verdict 0-2

Sunderland v Hull
Is there a more English name than Steve Bruce? Think of all the famous English Bruce's, Bruce Forsyth and Robert the Bruce. That's about it actually. But the point is still valid. Steve Bruce is as English as they come and that will stand him in good stead. Phil Brown is also English but he's tanned like a Spaniard, so Sunderland have the edge.
Verdict 1-0

Wigan v West Ham
This is a match between two proud clubs that have had their heritage ruined by employing foreign managers. I'm glad there weren't any foreigners in my day. I imagine both manager will want their teams to play free-flowing, attractive football. I hate games like that it makes me want to just walk on the pitch, break someones leg and then go down the pub. Just like the old days.
Verdict 2-2

Tottenham v Man Utd
The game of the weekend, no doubt. Two teams with great English spines. Woodgate, Huddlestone and Keane vs Rooney, Carrick and Evans. What a prospect. Those lads have spines like Superman. Unbreakable. But one of them will have to snap, like Christopher Reeve. And it'll be Tottenham, because Man Utd are the Champions, it's as simple as that.
Verdict 1-2

Birmingham v Aston Villa
Not quite northern enough to be counted as a proper derby game but it should be a cracker nonetheless. With McLeish and O'Neill up against it could be described as a real battle of Britain but O'Neill is Irish so that would be inaccurate. It should still be a good duel though.
Verdict 1-1

Fulham v Everton
Both of these teams look like they could struggle to match last seasons lofty heights. However with a bit of graft I can see Everton managing to snatch 5th spot. And Fulham will probably have to settle for about 7th or something. However both teams will be settling for a draw in this match.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 29/08/09

2009-08-28T09:54:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. People often ask me why the modern footballer complains of being tired when we're only two weeks into the season. I have to say if they're anything like me it's because they've got a raging hangover. Although these days the players could just have a vodka and Red Bull in the morning and they'd be fine. So it remains a mystery I guess. Perhaps they're just soft? I never complained of tiredness myself. I just went for a kip and hope the manager didn't need to sub me on too early in the game.

Chelsea v Burnley
Chelsea are the favourites for the title and that is only right and proper. It would be an insult to John Terry if his team weren't favourites. The man is literally a born winner. He came out and straight away put in perfectly timed challenge on the midwife. Snapped her leg in two. Glorious. This will be Burnley's toughest test so far and one they'll fail miserably.
Verdict 2-0

Blackburn v West Ham
West Ham's fans were disgraceful at Millwall this week. I blame Gianfranco Zola, he's clearly brought the hooligan element of the Italian 'Ultras' with him, I can't imagine the Hammer's fans would've ever got into trouble before he came along. I hate hooliganism, there's no place for violence in sport. Let's hope Big Sam's Blackburn boot the West Ham players off the park.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Liverpool
It's far to early to write Liverpool off. You only have to look at their past record to show that they are always genuine contenders for the league. It's no secret that I played almost six games for this fine club and unlike most former Liverpool players turned pundits I have to say I really think this year could be their year.
Verdict 0-2

Stoke v Sunderland
Now this is the sort of fixture I can really get my teeth into. It'll be a true British match, full of grit, determination and a total lack of finesse. What more could anyone ask for? Maybe someone who could launch a throw in from one end of the pitch to the other. Which match has also got. It really has got it all.
Verdict 0-0

Tottenham v Birmingham
Tottenham have had a fantastic start to the season but they have to remember this is a marathon not a sprint. And there's only one way to win a marathon; have a strong English spine. Let's face it, Paula Radcliffe wouldn't have got far without her spine would she? And quite frankly Jermain Defoe, Jermaine Jenas and Ledley King are looking more like Paula Radcliffe every day.
Verdict 3-1

Wolves v Hull
It would be easy not to care about this fixture.
Verdict 0-1

Man Utd v Arsenal
Eduardo's blatant dive was probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I once woke up half way through my own liver transplant. In my day you no one dived. You just took the tackle, and the resulting broken leg, like a man. Quite frankly if someone broke Eduardo's leg I doubt he'd ever get over it.
Verdict 2-1

Portsmouth v Man City
Many people have questioned whether Lescott was worth £24m. Well of course he was. He's an England international for God's sake. That instantly triples your worth. Real Madrid paid £80m for Ronaldo and he's never played for England. Lescott was a bargain. Portsmouth will struggle against City's new look English spine of Lescott, Barry and Bellamy.
Verdict 0-2

Everton v Wigan
Everton have had a dreadful start to the season and the loss of Lescott will only hamper them more, they might have signed Diniyar Bilyaletdinov but I can't see that doing much except annoy commentators. Wigan have been a bit hit and miss so far and they need to recover last seasons form unfortunately for them they no longer have an Englishman in charge so they may well struggle.
Verdict 2-2

Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa were lucky to beat Liverpool last week. I imagine both teams will attempt to play fast flowing football, quick passing and good movement. Hopefully the fans won't be too disappointed.
Verdict 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 22/08/09

2009-08-21T10:03:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The new season is well under way and already questions are being asked as to which manager will be the first to get sacked. I remember when I first started at Tranmere my gaffer was under a lot of pressure because everyone thought he had screwed up in the transfer market over the summer. But he didn't quit, that just wasn't his style. He had a nervous breakdown and had to take medical retirement.

Arsenal v Portsmouth
A lot of people have condemned Portsmouth to relegation already but not Tony Adams, who as far as I'm aware was the last Englishman to play for Arsenal. I have to say I agree and I can see Pompey getting their campaign on track here. Let's face it they're not going to be intimidated by the Arsenal fans are they? It's so quiet at the Emirates you could hear a mouse trump.
Verdict 0-1

Birmingham v Stoke
I expect this to be a tough battle for both teams. It'll literally be a fire and brimstone affair. In fact I imagine there'll be more injuries than goals. All in all it has the makings of a true classic.
Verdict 0-0

Hull v Bolton
Birmingham v Stoke, Hull v Bolton could this be the best week of fixtures ever? The problem for Hull is defending and the problem for Bolton is that referees pick on Kevin Davies. But what do they expect he makes typical strikers tackles, clumsy and dangerous. He just needs to get rid of the clumsiness and then he'll be fine. But he's a forward who's willing to do his bit for the time and get stuck in. Let's face it that's far more important than these fancy dan foreign strikers with their 'goals' and 'assists'.
Verdict 0-1

Man City v Wolves
It would be easy to say that newly-promoted Wolves will go straight back down. So that's just what I'll do. Newly-promoted Wolves will go straight back down.
Verdict 2-0

Sunderland v Blackburn
Seriously, if I wasn't such a man I'd cry with delight at the fixture list. But I am a man, and so are most of the players in these two teams. I mean any team with Steve Bruce as a manager has to be manly. What's more manly than the name Bruce? And as for Big Sam what a manly nickname that is. I had a girlfriend nicknamed Big Brenda once, and she turned out to be a man.
Verdict 1-1

Wigan v Man Utd
Man Utd's loss against Burnley was a mere blip. Their spine is far to strong and English to be upset like that again. They just need to get rid of that Vidic chap and bring in a good English defender like Jonny Evans and they'll be sorted. Wigan haven't got a chance.
Verdict 0-3

West Ham v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp returns to his former club and I bet they wish they still had him in charge rather than some jumped up little Italian dwarf. Tottenham are sitting pretty at the top of the league and I can't see anyone displacing them. They are nailed on to clinch 4th spot in my book.
Verdict 0-2

Burnley v Everton
Everton were destroyed by Arsenal's quick passing game last week and I for one was disgusted. Why didn't David Moyes just resort to hacking Arsenal off the pitch? It's the English way. Let's not forget though that Everton finished 5th last year. I just don't think Burnley could ever hope to beat a team of that calibre.
Verdict 0-1

Fulham v Chelsea
Let's face it this isn't a proper local derby is it? Liverpool v Man Utd that's a proper local derby. This is just a couple of teams from an overpriced part of London poncing around. Well it would be if it wasn't for John Terry. He's like a local derby all on his own. In fact I'd go one step further I'd say John Terry is his very own civil war.
Verdict 0-3

Liverpool v Aston Villa
Both teams have had slow start to the season but Liverpool proved that they're still contenders with their 4-0 win in midweek. Villa on the other hand couldn't even beat Rapid Vienna. Quite frankly times are bad when you can't even beat a mid table German team.
Verdict 3-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 15/08/09

2009-08-13T23:07:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The first day of the season always throws up some surprises and not just for the players. I remember one year no one was more surprised than my Liverpool gaffer when I turned up on the first game. I was fit, I was sober and I'd been sold to Tranmere the week before.

Aston Villa v Wigan
Aston Villa broke many hearts last season when they couldn't take 4th spot from Arsenal. I, for one, was livid. And this year they've lost their talismanic captain, Gareth Barry. I only found out he was talismanic recently. It came as quite a shock, I'd always thought he was English. Still they should be strong enough to destroy a Wigan team that have been severely weakened by bringing in a foreigner as a manager.
Verdict 3-0

Blackburn v Man City
A lot of people think Mark Hughes has gone crazy in the transfer market this summer. Adebayor, Tevez, Santa Cruz. They can't all partner Craig Bellamy.Although they are all foreign so one golf club to the head from the Welsh wizard and they'll be demanding a transfer so perhaps he's wise to have back up. The problem is can all the signings gel? Not against Big Sam's Blackburn I fear. If anyone knows how to get dirty with Hughes's gel it's him.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Sunderland
Sunderland are bound to improve now they've got rid of the foreign sounding bloke and brought in Steve Bruce. What could be more English than the name Bruce? The last bloke was called Ricky, which sounds suspiciously Australian to me. However, Sunderland will have their work cut out against Bolton who will literally fight to the death. That's what football should be about.
Verdict 0-0

Chelsea v Hull
John Terry has proven his loyalty by turning down Man City's riches. What a guy. Not for him the fast cars, flashy lifestyle, the parties and the inevitable fights in night clubs that would come with all that cash. Oh no, that's not John Terry's style at all. He'll stay in virtual poverty at Chelsea because he can't betray the club he loves. God bless that man, he makes you proud to be British.
Verdict 2-0

Everton v Arsenal
I can't believe Joleon Lescott hasn't made more effort to force a move to City, think of all the beer he could buy on Man City's wages. Only an idiot would turn that down. Still Everton will be glad he's stayed. He's the lynchpin of their team. However, I'd fancy them to beat Arsenal's gallic midgets even without him. Quite frankly Arsenal need more strength, more height and less skilful players if they want to hold on to 4th place.
Verdict 1-0

Portsmouth v Fulham
Roy Hodgson was my manager of the season last year. Well apart from Alex Ferguson obviously. Fergie spent loads of money and won the league, not many managers can do that. Hodgson just got his team to play well. Many people have predicted Pompey to go down, but i think that's a bit premature, you can't make crazy guesses like that before a ball has been kicked.
Verdict 0-6

Stoke v Burnley
Can Burnley be this season's Stoke? Not if they try and play football they can't. Stoke have grit, determination and long throws. But not only that they also have determination, long throws and grit. Combine all those elements and what are you left with? Long throws, grit and determination. And that's what wins games. Not playing football.
Verdict 1-0

Wolves v West Ham
A lot of people have praised Gianfranco Zola for the job he's done at West Ham but to be honest I can't have any respect for a man who has to look up to your average jockey. Mick McCarthy is much taller and on that alone I think he deserves to keep Wolves up. He won't be able to, but he should at least get a win here.
Verdict 1-0

Man Utd v Birmingham
Everyone's favourite leg breakers Birmingham are back and if they start where they left off they'll do well this year. It'll take more than broken legs to stop Man Utd though. When David Busst broke his leg against them did they stop winning? No. When Keane shattered Haaland's knee did man Utd stop winning? No. Man Utd are made of tougher stuff and I'm sure we'll see them end a few more careers this season and still go on to win. That's what makes a team great.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Liverpool
Since I found out that Robbie Keane was not British and in fact is Irish it's made it easier to understand why he failed at Liverpool. Let's face it the Irish and Liverpool don't mix. Luckily Spurs still have a good English contingent; Woodgate, Jenas and Bale. It won't be enough to beat Liverpool though. Liverpool are much stronger this year and that's because they came so close to winning last year. And let's face there's no better way for players to understand how to win the league than by not winning it the year before.
Verdict 1-2

Dave Pundit On The New Season

2009-08-03T12:18:00.004+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. People often ask me how do I get through the dull, monotony of the summer without football to keep me entertained. Well it's really quite simple. When I get to the pub in the morning I go straight on to hard liquor rather than having a few beers first like I would during the season.

The Community Shield is less than a week away and the traditional curtain raiser will herald in a bright new season. In my day it was known as the Charity Shield which I found much more preferable. As an ex-footballer I was always more than happy to do my bit for charity. However, if I wanted to lend my services to the community I wouldn't have bribed the judge to let me off when I was up on a trumped up charge last month. The day I accept that it's illegal to follow your ex-wife back to her house, make a bivouac in her garden and scream up at her window about how she ruined your life is the day I die.

Of course I'm not the only one to have their day in court this summer. Steven Gerrard was also up in front of a judge. I find it truly ridiculous. First John Terry gets done for punching a bouncer and now this. They're English heroes, people. If they can't go around punching people in the face then who can? It's political correctness gone mad.

But we can put all this behind us now the football season is nearly here. It's been an exciting close season on the transfer front. Man City have spent big and not always wisely however I do think Gareth Barry will be a fine addition to their British contingent of Richards, Dunne and Given.

Man Utd have lost Ronaldo but have signed Michael Owen who I think has the ability to be even better than Ronaldo. He's suffered a lot with injuries but he's a proven goalscorer and he showed his true English grit by hating life in Madrid so much that he chose to live in Newcastle instead.

Of the other top four contenders Liverpool have the best chance and they will want to improve on last season and I think they have every chance. A friend told me this summer that he blamed Robbie Keane for Liverpool missing out last year. He called him an Irish buffoon. I was shocked and appalled. Robbie Keane is Irish? He's been lying to us all this time. Well Liverpool are better off without him.

You can't rule out Chelsea of course. With John Terry in defence they don't need any marquee signings. What loyalty he showed when he turned down Man City. Quite frankly City's attempts to just throw money at players to get them to play for a team with no history or pedigree is disgusting. John Terry is far better off at Chelsea.

Arsenal finished fourth last year but you can write them off this year. They've bought one player and he's foreign, young and not tall enough. When will they learn.

Finally what about the teams that have come up? Well I haven't really paid much attention to them in the past because everyone knows the Premiership is the only league that counts. However last time Birmingham were in the top flight they effectively ended Arsenal's push for the title when they broke Eduardo's leg so I felt it was harsh to force them to go down in the first place. Let's hope they maintain the violent tackling this season and stay up in the Premier league where they belong.

Here's to another year of gritty, determined football and horror challenges on fancy dans. That's what the British public want to see.

Dave Pundit's FA Cup Final Prediction

2009-05-29T10:18:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The FA Cup is the ultimate footballing tournament. Unlike the Champions League it can't be tainted by foreigners using fancy dan passing moves. It can only be won by a true English team. It can also be won by true underdogs as Cardiff proved last year by coming runners up.

This year Everton are the underdogs but unlike Cardiff they aren't facing a rubbish team like Portsmouth, they're facing Chelsea. Let's not forget if it wasn't for Man Utd and Liverpool Chelsea would be the best team in England and therefore the world.

And they have John Terry. The FA Cup could have almost been made for John Terry. He is literally the grittiest player I have ever seen. I imagine he eats pure granite for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then has a cup of cocoa before bed, just to settle his iron stomach.

John Terry is so English he makes Richard The Lionheart look French. He's so British that he can only be described as a Brit because the 'ish' makes it look less definite. He's so strong he could arm wrestle Geoff Capes with his eyes. And win.

In fact I doubt John Terry has ever lost in his life. Maybe Man Utd could have done with him against Barcelona. I can't see Terry slipping up in a Champions League Final. And he certainly wouldn't have let Eto'o come inside him like Vidic did. No, if anything it would have been Terry shafting Eto'o, and I for one would've paid good money to see that.

John Terry is such an amazing leader that it doesn't even matter that Chelsea have a Dutch bloke for a manager. What do the Dutch know about football? In England we eat, drink and sleep football, it's in our blood. It's almost total football, what would the Dutch know about that? They're too busy smoking funny stuff to care. You wouldn't catch me poisoning myself like that. It'd probably play havoc with my new liver anyway.

Back to the match, I think it'll be close right up until kick off and then Chelsea will walk it. And when we see John Terry lift that famous trophy above his head we'll all be able to raise a glass to a true Englishman, safe in the knowledge that he'll celebrate his victory in a manner befitting the England captain. He'll get wasted and punch a bouncer.

Verdict Chelsea 2 - Everton 1

Dave Pundit's Champion's League Final Prediction

2009-05-27T10:35:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people think that the Champions League is the biggest trophy in world football. Those people are foreign. Other countries don't have such glorious competitions as the Premier League, the FA Cup and the Carling Cup.

I was actually offered tickets for the final but I didn't fancy it. I've been to Rome before it was awful, you couldn't get a good meal anywhere. I went to a restaurant and ordered a pizza and it was all thin and crunchy. Why do foreigners have to try and mess around with good old British food?

I've also heard that there is a ban on alcohol before the game. What a ludicrous rule that is. Quite frankly it was bad enough trying to play football sober without having to watch it without booze too.

Anyway as for the game itself I can't see anything other than a resounding victory for Man Utd. Barcelona have less English players than Arsenal. Where's the grit? Where's the determination? Where's the bulldog spirit? Wayne Rooney has the bulldog spirit. He even looks like a bulldog. None of the Barcelona team look like dogs. Not even poodles.

There is also the chance that Thierry Henry won't be able to play for Barcelona. Not that he'd make much difference. If he was good enough to play in England he'd have moved to an English club by now. But he hasn't which speaks volumes to me.

Verdict Man Utd 4 - Barcelona 1.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 24/05/09

2009-05-22T10:14:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The last day of the season is often one of the most tense days for the players. You just have to go out and play your natural game and hope you don't pick up a bad injury before your holiday to Spain. One year I broke three fingers on the last day of the season, it was awful, have you ever tried pinching a Spanish waitresses bum with your fingers wrapped in bandages. It's time like that I wish I was ambidextrous.

Arsenal v Stoke
Arsenal only have a couple of good players; Walcott and Gibbs but hopefully they'll be able to add to the English contingent over the summer either that or just go and play in France where they belong. Stoke have lots of tall players so they should give Arsenal's foreign midgets a hard time here.
Verdict 1-2

Aston Villa v Newcastle
Can Newcastle stay up? Yes. Do any of the other teams have a local hero managing them? No. Sometimes football is as simple as that. You can go around complicating it by not allowing back passes or two footed tackles but somethings never change and local heroes are one of those things. Look at Liverpool in their pomp players like Dalglish, Souness and Hansen would've given anything for their local club.
Verdict 0-1

Blackburn v West Brom
This will be West Brom's toughest challenge in their short Premier League careers. In some ways they're lucky they've already gone down you wouldn't want to go to fortress Ewood needing three points on the last day the only thing West Brom will get here is literally the most violent beating of their lives.
Verdict 2-0

Fulham v Everton
Fulham will be looking to secure the final Europa cup spot or whatever they're blooming calling it now. I mean what's the point of that? Who'd want to play in something called Europa? They could at least call it the Europa and Britain cup. I think our continent needs the recognition too.
Verdict 1-1

Hull v Man Utd
Will Man Utd field a weakened team? Who cares, they're the champions the can do what they like. What's the point in winning if you can't then treat the rest of the losers with contempt?
Verdict 0-2

Liverpool v Tottenham
Liverpool will have to be wary of Tottenham's British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane, I just hope Rafa has done his homework on them. Keane especially could be an unknown force to the Liverpool boss.
Verdict 2-1

Man City v Bolton
Does this game matter? Of course it does, it involves Bolton. Man City will know they've been in a game here. Unless they're unconscious, which is a possibility when facing the likes of Kevin Davies. Now I've stopped playing I can appreciate what these games are about; crippling an opposing player just because you've heard they'll be going somewhere nicer than you on holiday. What's wrong with two weeks on a cheap package holiday in Spain? Nothing. At least you can get a proper English breakfast.
Verdict 0-0

Sunderland v Chelsea
Poor Sunderland, the last day of the season and still needing 3 points to guarantee safety and then they come up against John Terry. Let's face it John Terry is as likely to give away three points as I am to give up my anal virginity.
Verdict 0-2

West Ham v Middlesbrough
I'd never ask for a manager's head but both these guys should go. Southgate because he's rubbish and Zola because he's an ugly little Italian midget. Both of them would probably rather see good, attractive football than the proper British game.
Verdict 1-1

Wigan v Portsmouth
You know what? Who cares?
Verdict 0-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions17/05/09

2009-05-15T00:54:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Like all footballers of my generation, and entirely unlike all the money grabbing, overpaid popinjays that play the game to day, I do my bit for charity. Only last week I gave a tramp a tenner to buy some beer. And when he got back I even let him have one.

Man Utd v Arsenal
Much to the disappointment of Liverpool fans everywhere I can't see anything but a Man Utd win here, meaning they'll retain the title. But Liverpool fans shouldn't blame their team. They should blame Arsenal. They just haven't got the guts to win this sort of game. They lack, what I would call, British players.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Hull
What a corker this match is going to be. Hull have everything to fight for whereas Bolton just like to fight. I think I'm literally going to explode with excitement.
Verdict 0-0

Everton v West Ham
A lot of people expect me to dislike Everton due to the almost six games I played for Liverpool. But Everton have two things going for them; they're northern and their manager is English. West Ham have neither of those things so I can't see anything other than win for the Toffees here.
Verdict 1-0

Middlesbrough v Aston Villa
After losing to Newcastle Middlesbrough are as good as down. But the chairman has stated that Gareth Southgate will keep his job. Why? He's clearly rubbish. He got you relegated for God's sake. Sack him. Sack him now.
Verdict 0-2

Newcastle v Fulham
I'd never want a manager to be sacked but when Joe Kinnear could no longer manage Newcastle it was good news for everyone. I just don't think Kinnear had enough heart for the job. Tactics and experience are all well and good but everyone knows that what a club needs is a good local boy to manage them. That's why Kenny Dalglish was so good at Liverpool. I back to Shearer to get the win here because I have no idea where Roy Hodgson is from.
Verdict 2-1

Stoke v Wigan
Both of these teams are playing for pride but unlike foreigners us Brits rate pride higher than actually winning stuff so this game should be a cracker. Rory Delap's throw could be the difference here if I'd had something that long and hard when I was playing I'd've put it to good effect too.
Verdict 1-0

Tottenham v Man City
Spurs are still pushing for Europe and Man City might be as well. I can't really remember. To be honest if it's not a title decider or a relegation dogfight at this stage of the season who cares? Well Robbie Keane probably does, like all good Brits he's a caring person. Not like foreigners. If foreigners were caring how do you explain Hitler?
Verdict 1-0

West Brom v Liverpool
Liverpool will fight to the very end, as long as there's mathematical hope they'll want to win the title. West Brom on the other hand are down and out. Not mathematically of course but that's not the sort of thing footballers think about.
Verdict 0-3

Chelsea v Blackburn
Chelsea would be wise to rest players for the FA cup here because lets face it, whoever you put out against one of Big Sam's team you can guarantee 50% will get injured. Not John Terry though, he doesn't need rest, he's like an insomniac on speed but in a good way.
Verdict 2-0

Portsmouth v Sunderland
Sunderland will be hoping that results will go there way over the weekend and they'll be safe by the time they play this match, if that's the case then no one will care about the result at all so I might as well predict something crazy.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 09/05/09

2009-05-08T01:15:00.004+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. As the season draws to a close we can only thank our lucky stars that we aren't Spanish, their season goes on for ages, or from some weird northern country like Norway. Their season has only just begun. Football's fantastic, don't get me wrong, but you don't want it to get in the way of summer days in a beer garden do you? Still some games still have some meaning so I suppose I should probably keep on predicting scores and stuff.

Blackburn v Portsmouth
Do you know I'd never heard of Paul Hart until he took over Pompey? And do you know why? It's because he's a nobody. Sam Allardyce on the other hand has the word 'big' as a prefix to his name therefore he must be a somebody. When I was at Tranmere they called me 'Dangerous' Dave, and not just because I nearly killed three squad members in a freak car accident. I also broke a guys leg in training. Nicknames are the way forward.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Sunderland
Sunderland have struggled more than a bag full of kittens thrown into a river recently. Whereas Bolton have fought like dogs to stay out of the relegation places. Let's face it we all know what happens when dogs fight cats, carnage. Let's hope that rings true for this game.
Verdict 1-1

Everton v Tottenham
Everton are virtually assured of a place in Europe next season but let's not take that away from them. They've been one of the four or five best teams in the country and I think sixth place will do their performances justice. However they may struggle against Spurs who, outside of the top four, are probably the best team in the country. Can Everton's defence match Robbie Keane for British steel? I think not.
Verdict 0-1

Fulham v Aston Villa
If you'd offered Villa 5th place at the start of the season they'd have bitten your hand off, so it's probably just as well you didn't offer it to them isn't it? Could you survive without a hand? I know I couldn't. I've been married three times, my hand is all the pleasure I get.
Verdict 1-1

Hull v Stoke
Stoke have done brilliantly to all but secure a Premiership place next season, but let's face it this is a lower league match and no amount of pundit flim-flammery is going to change that.
Verdict 0-1

West Brom v Wigan
Why West Brom maintain the pretence that they might stay up is beyond me. They can play all the lovely passing football they want but it wont win them games. I never learnt to pass in my life and I played for Liverpool almost six times. Wigan will stroll this one.
Verdict 0-0

West Ham v Liverpool
West Ham might as well not bother turning up for this one. Rafa Benitez is a good foot taller than Gianfranco Zola and the Liverpool team are even taller. They're literally heads and shoulders above West Ham.
Verdict 0-2

Man Utd v Man City
Sir Alex Ferguson v Mark Hughes. It's like an episode of The Apprentice if only Alan Sugar knew anything about football. Having said that, does Hughes have a knighthood? No. A Man Utd win it is. Sir Alan Sugar would probably approve, he looks like the sort of type who'd support Man Utd. Knights of the realm tend to stick together.
Verdict 2-1

Arsenal v Chelsea
Being knocked out of the semi-finals of the Champions League will have really knocked the stuffing out of Chelsea, so Arsenal will have the advantage here. However, they won't have John Terry. He's not the sort of player to miss out on a Champions League medal and cry about it. He's as strong as an ox. Maybe two. I'm not really sure how strong oxen are.
Verdict 1-2

Newcastle v Middlesbrough
It would be a cowardly pundit that predicted this make or break match to be a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Dave Pundit's Player Of The Year Nominees

2009-05-05T12:31:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I could of course make predictions for tonight's Champions League matches but everything I said in my last prediction still holds true. Man Utd and Chelsea will both win it's the only way to get the all-English final that football deserves. And I'd hate to be in danger of repeating myself. That's just not my style at all.

So instead of repeating myself - which is just not my style at all - I shall instead give you a list of the nominees for Dave Pundit's Player of The Year. The results will be revealed at the end of the season.

Steven Gerrard
Mr Liverpool has, as always, been fantastic. He can pick a pass, he can blaze a shot in from thirty yards and along with Jamie Carragher he single handedly won virtually all of Liverpool's games this season. Especially their stunning victory over Man Utd. Stevie G is not only a fantastic player he's also a fantastic example to the youngsters. In an age where foreigners will go down at the slightest hint of a touch Gerrard proves you don't have to dive to win matches. He's as honest as every good Scouser.

John Terry
If I didn't know better I'd swear John Terry was made entirely of grit. But I do know better. He's 50% grit, 50% determination and 50% hard work. Which all adds to 100% English lion. He's also the England captain which is fantastic, maybe by the next World Cup we'll be able to field an entire team of John Terry's. We'd be unbeatable, plus we wouldn't ever have the problem of having a player sent off because all referees know you can't send off the England captain.

Rio Ferdinand
A lot of people bemoan the loss of the beautiful game but I don't think anyone can question Ferdinand's beauty. But never let it be said he doesn't know how to win ugly. In fact he's taken over from Steve Bruce in the Man Utd defence in that department. And I can think of no higher compliment.

Ryan Giggs
He's old, so he deserves a mention.

Robbie Keane
You may be able to spot the major difference between Keane and the other nominees, he's the only one who isn't one of the big four. But it's about time one of them gave him a chance, he'd set the premiership alight at one of the big clubs. However he does fit in to the list in another respect he's a true British great. In fact I don't think anyone would be offended if I said he was as English as Oliver Cromwell.

So there you have it. My nominees for Player of the Year and unlike the so called 'official' awards these ones aren't ruined by a bunch of foreign fancy dan players ruining our game with their skill, precision and ability. What place do attributes like that have in a player of the year competition? No one ever won a match by playing good football.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 02/05/09

2009-04-30T16:01:00.004+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Last week my son, the Chester City youth player, got arrested for drink driving. I was livid. He didn't even tell me he was going to the pub. In my day footballers never got in trouble with the law, except for George Best obviously. And me a couple of times. But quite frankly if standing in the middle of a roundabout stark naked except for a maids apron and a traffic cone superglued to your head is illegal then they might as well just ban stag do's altogether.

Middlesbrough v Man Utd
A pundit's job is never easy, except in games like this.
Verdict 0-3

Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games aren't usually about technical skill as they are about violent tackles, gritty challenges and dirty fouls and no one suits that sort of game better than John Terry. John Terry is a derby match all on his own. And not just any old derby match, a proper one. With northern teams.
Verdict 2-0

Man City v Blackburn
Big Sam looks to have saved Blackburn from relegation which I for one never doubted for a second. The man's a tactical genius. He gets his team playing ugly, long ball football and it works. Why bother trying to work out other tactics when you've already perfected the best one? Mark Hughes could learn a thing or two from him. Stop faffing about trying to sign fancy dans like Kaka and Eto'o and get a good old English centre forward in. Is Geoff Horsfield still playing?
Verdict 1-1

Portsmouth v Arsenal
The most notable thing about this game is that it pits England's finest keeper, David James against some foreign bloke who thinks if he gets an English passport we'll pick him for the England team. Manuel Almunia, that's not an English name, and he's not an English man. Just because he has long sleeves on his keeper's jersey he's not fooling anyone, he's still a foreigner and as much as he wishes he came from a good country it just isn't going to happen. I hope he lets in a hatful.
Verdict 2-0

Stoke v West Ham
Tony Pulis has worked miracles at Stoke and in my eyes is a candidate for manager of the season after Alex Ferguson and Big Sam, of course. Gianfranco Zola on the other hand hasn't impressed me at all. If I wanted to see good football I'd move to Spain.
Verdict 1-0

Tottenham v West Brom
Redknapp is another contender for manager of the season. They only had two points when he took over. Can you believe that? That's literally the worst possible amount they could have had. Luckily our 'Arry had the nous to bring in Robbie Keane. When you're struggling it's always best to buy British.
Verdict 2-0

Wigan v Bolton
This has all the hallmarks of a classic. Neither team has anything to play for so hopefully they'll both go for it by sticking ten men behind the ball and just fouling anyone who tries to get it down and play. That's what English football is all about.
Verdict 0-0

Liverpool v Newcastle
It doesn't get any easier for Shearer. If he wasn't so damn brilliant I'd say Newcastle haven't got a prayer. Luckily he's like a messiah for them. Unfortunately Liverpool should have Stevie G back. He's more than a messiah, he's more like Jesus or something.
Verdict 2-1

Sunderland v Everton
Sunderland were awful against West Brom last week. West Brom! They're rubbish. If you're losing to that bunch of no-hopers you know you're in a bad way. I worry for Sunderland, I really do. They may have a Scot in charge but he's got a foreign name and I think it's affected his management skills. This one will go to the Scotsman with a proper name, good old David Moyes.
Verdict 0-1

Aston Villa v Hull
Both these teams started the season well but have finished poorly. Hull needed to be more consistent, like Stoke were. Sadly they haven't got anyone who can throw the ball really far so what chance have they got in football? I can see Villa getting back on track here.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit on the Champions League Semi-Finals

2009-04-28T09:57:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This week sees some of the most exciting fixtures the Champions League has ever produced. If it carries on like this every year it may become almost as good as our very own cup competitions.

Three out of the four teams still in it are English which proves that we have the best league in the world. Barcelona have been lucky to get to this stage as they haven't had to face any English - and therefore good - teams. Let's face it if you can't beat a German team then you don't deserve to be in the competition to start with. You wouldn't find any English teams losing to kraut opposition, no matter what competition it was.

Barcelona v Chelsea
Chelsea have the relatively easy task of knocking out the Spaniards. Many people point to threat of Messi but I think Chelsea can contain the little Brazilian. I mean he's a shortarse isn't he? I doubt he even knows how to head a ball and that's a fundamental skill. Of course, Chelsea are missing Ashley Cole and he would have easily coped with Messi, I just don't think Messi would know how to deal with Ashley's tackle. Especially if it came from behind. But even without Cole Chelsea still have the rock that is John Terry. No one gets past John Terry he's like the Great Wall of China, except he's English. The Great Wall of Chelsea maybe. He has all the best attributes of a wall; strong, reliable and totally immobile. However he has to be careful of the referees in Europe, they don't seem to have the required respect for him as the England captain, and as such aren't influenced by him the way English refs are. It's disgraceful really but when you have a Frenchman in charge of UEFA what do you expect?
Verdict 0-2

Man Utd v Arsenal
Now I'm no fan of Arsenal, but I am a patriotic Englishman so I always support them in Europe. But luckily they're facing Man Utd here so I don't have to. Both teams will be strong going forward but it will be the defence that makes the difference. Utd have probably got the best defence in Europe, full of British greats like Rio Ferdinand, Gary Neville and John O'Shea. Whereas Arsenal rely on Frenchmen like Clichy, Toure and Silvestre. I mean let's face it someone like Silvestre would never play for a team like Man Utd. Man Utd have also had the best possible preparation for this game after demolishing Tottenham who being form North London are like the English equivalent of Arsenal. The Gunners on the other hand had a lucky win against Middlesbrough, who despite starting with an M are nothing like Man Utd.
Verdict 2-1

Finally I'd like to mention Liverpool. Despite not making the Semi Finals they are clearly one of the top four teams in Europe and they should have been in the mix but as ever UEFA fixed the draw to stop an all-English Semi Final. It's a travesty. Liverpool won it in 2005, they should be their by rights. I mean when was the last time Barcelona won it? Where's the justice?

Dave Pundits Predictions 23/04/09

2009-04-23T21:55:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Steve Claridge phoned me up the other day to say my Diploma in Punditry was running out and I needed to pay an extra two grand to renew it. I laughed in his face and said I'll get someone else to do it cheaper but I've asked around and can't find anyone else who does the diploma so I guess I'll have to cough up the dough. I'm not happy about it though, that's a weeks worth of beer money.

Bolton v Aston Villa
All credit to Bolton, at the start of the season they were playing a dire, ugly brand of football and looked like going down but they've stuck to their guns and that same ugly football has pretty much got them to safety. Villa, on the other hand, got a bit big for their boots started to try and play 'attractive' football and that's been their downfall. Let's hope they don't do anything so daft at the Reebok.
Verdict 0-0

Everton v Man City
Everton seem to have been in 6th place for ever but recently they've been rocketing up the table and a good result here could put them in 5th and it literally doesn't get better than that. Man City are awful away from home so I won't even bother mentioning them. I don't give Man City any chance whatsoever.
Verdict 2-0

Fulham v Stoke
Stoke are another team that have got themselves out of trouble. They are now a stones throw away from trouble, and I don't mean a Rory Delap type throw. I mean a real person throwing a stone. I went to the park this week to see how far I could throw a stone. I forgot to bring a tape measure but I stood at the gate and managed to knock a kid off the swings in the play area which must be about 20 yards or something. I was quite happy with that.
Verdict 1-1

Hull v Liverpool
Liverpool have been scoring goals for fun and with Carragher at the back it's not like they're likely to leak goals or anything. I can see them getting a hatfull here. But can they go on to win the league? Well of course they can, they're Liverpool.
Verdict 0-4

West Brom v Sunderland
West Brom are down and anyone who says different is a fool. They haven't got a hope in hell. Although obviously they're not mathematically relegated of course and it's a fool who writes off a team when they can still get the points for survival. But West Brom are down. They're more down than a pessimist on barbiturates. Down.
Verdict 0-1

West Ham v Chelsea
Petr Cech has conceded that Chelsea can't win the league. But he's foreign. I bet John Terry hasn't given up. Did St George give up when he was fighting the dragon? No he slayed it, like any good Englishman would. Englishmen don't give up, Frenchmen give up. And John Terry is the least French man ever. He makes Winston Churchill look like a garlic muncher.
Verdict 0-2

Man Utd v Tottenham
What a prospect this is; Ferdinand, Scholes and Rooney vs Woodgate, Jenas and Keane. It's a battle of the British spines. And when two spines collide the only outcome is a great game of football. Or some shattered vertebrae. Either way it'll be great.
Verdict 2-1

Arsenal v Middlesbrough
Everyone's been raving about Arshavin this week and sure he's another technically brilliant player at Arsenal but has he got goals in him? I don't think so. Arsenal need an new Ian Wright, there's not a foreigner in the game who could beat his scoring record. I think this could be an opportunity for Boro to get some much needed points.
Verdict 0-1

Blackburn v Wigan
The fixture list has saved the best 'til last. Or second to last if you count those stupid Monday night fixtures. This will be an absolute beauty. Steve Bruce and Sam Allardyce, does it get any more beautiful than that. Big Sam won't have to worry about foreigners making strange gestures at him here it'll just be good old English swearing and brilliant British football. They should tape this match somehow and show it to the whole world to see what real football is. Sadly that sort of idea is just pure fantasy. But this game will be so real it'll smack you in the face. Literally.
Verdict 0-0

Newcastle v Portsmouth
If Newcastle go down it will be a travesty for English football. They have some of the best fans in the world. If only they had the players to match. But at least with Shearer they've got the manager their fans deserve. He's proved himself with years of fine punditry work, that sort of experience isn't easy to come by. Or cheap. Ask Steve bloody Claridge.
Verdict 1-0
Verdict

Dave Pundit's Predictions 18/04/09

2009-04-17T10:13:00.011+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. We're getting to the final sprint in the Premier League and this can be the hardest part of the season. What annoys me though is players who use fatigue as an excuse. In my day players didn't need to be rested, we just made sure we got enough red cards in a season to ensure we had a couple of days off every now and then. Not that I rested of course. If you weren't playing on the Saturday it meant you had the whole weekend to drink. Which is why I have every respect for Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor. But quite frankly if the Scottish FA are going to ban players for drinking and swearing they're going to have a very small pool to pick from.

Arsenal v Chelsea
A lot of people are saying Arsenal are peaking at the right time but this is the game where they'll start to go downhill. Let's face it their foreign fops are going to be no match for John Terry. He's like a peak all on his own. If he was a mountain he'd be Everest except no man could ever mount him. Though many would love too.
Verdict 0-2

Man Utd v Everton
Everton are the real underdogs in the FA Cup now and there's a very good reason for that; all the other teams are better than them. Except maybe Arsenal. At least Everton's manager is British, but this is the English FA Cup so being British isn't enough, you have to be English, that's why I think Sir Alex's men will win this one.
Verdict 2-1

Aston Villa v West Ham
Villa have been on a slump recently but they need to buck up their ideas if they're going to get fifth. The goals seem to have dried up since they bought Emile Heskey for some reason. Fortunately they're playing West Ham who are managed by an Italian dwarf. So it'll be an easy three points.
Verdict 1-0

Middlesbrough v Fulham
Gareth Southgate got a stay of execution after beating Hull last week. Not that I'd ever condone calling for a managers head. But if I was Chairman he'd be for the chop. He's a disgrace to his country. To be honest I've never had any faith in him since he missed that penalty in '96. I remember being involved in a shoot out for Tranmere, I stood up straight away and the gaffer said "Dave, you're half cut and you've got no chance of scoring so sit down you numpty." Sometimes the best way not to fail is not to try in the first place. Southgate could learn something from that.
Verdict 0-2

Portsmouth v Bolton
It's been an up and down season for these clubs and but I can see both of them doing enough to stay up. Or go down. Or one of them stay up and one go down. The outcome of this match could be decisive. Or not make much difference. But this is where pundits prove they're worth their salt. And I'm certainly worth salt. So this'll be a draw. Or someone will win.
Verdict 0-0

Stoke v Blackburn
When I was told Stoke would be playing in the Premier League I laughed, 'not for long' I thought. But they've shown enough at home to suggest that they could stay up. But I think they'll lose here. Big Sam knows how to get out of a relegation dogfight. I don't mean fight literally of course. But Blackburn will Big Sam will lay down his life before he let's Blackburn go down. Literally.
Verdict 0-1

Sunderland v Hull
Neither of these teams has won for a while and I can't see that changing for at least one of them. To stay in the Premier League takes one thing and one thing only: Determination. And a little bit of luck. Both these teams will be hoping for that here.
Verdict 1-1

Tottenham v Newcastle
Tottenham proved that a new manager can make the world of difference when they replaced Ramos with Redknapp. Did you know they only had two points when our 'Arry took over? Not that he'd ever bring it up himself of course. Now Shearer has to do for Newcastle what Redknapp's done for Spurs; get them into midtable mediocrity. It's what the fans demand. However he'll have to try and work out how to stop Keane first. But if anyone knows how a great British striker's mind works it's Shearer so he might just have the edge here.
Verdict 0-1

Man City v West Brom
I was sad to see Man City go out of the UEFA Cup. Man City are English through and through and seeing them lose to some Polish side is just awful. However they'll pick up the points here because West Brom are pathetic.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit's Easter Predictions

2009-04-09T10:11:00.003+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Punditry, like crime, doesn't take a vacation. But I'm going to take tomorrow off to spend some quality time with my family, right up until 8 o'clock when the pub says kids aren't allowed in the bar anymore. Easter time always throws up some interesting fixtures and coincidentally I tend to throw up over Easter. Too much chocolate I suppose.

Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool will need to bounce back after their unlucky defeat in the Champions League and I think they will. Liverpool have always been a team to focus on the league and I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 2-0

Chelsea v Bolton
Bolton are a team that play proper football, violent and ugly, but they will struggle against Chelsea because no one's as violent and ugly as John Terry. If he'd been alive during the First World War the Germans would've taken one look at him and said "You know what? We're not all that bothered about some Austrian Archduke" and the whole disaster would've been averted.
Verdict 2-0

Middlesbrough v Hull
I'd never call for a managers head but surely Gareth Southgate should have been sacked by now? Where is his teams grit and determination? He has undone all Steve McClaren's great work. It's almost like Southgate manages like a foreigner and I can't remember a time when a manager who wasn't English won anything. Phil Brown could teach him a thing or two and in this game I think he will.
Verdict 1-2

Portsmouth v West Brom
Pompey have struggled this year but I don't think they'll go down. West Brom on the other hand will, because let's face it, West Brom are awful. My granny could play better than them, and she lost her legs in a bizarre threshing incident.
Verdict 1-0

Sunderland v Man Utd
This will be a walk in the park for Man Utd. They'll even have time to stop and feed the ducks. Because they're walking in the park you see? That's the sort of thing you'd do in the park I'd imagine. I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 0-2

Tottenham v West Ham
Both teams will be up for this London derby but Spurs will edge it. Because they're British through and through with players like Jenas, Woodgate and Keane. Tell me what've West Ham ever done for the England team?
Verdict 2-1

Wigan v Arsenal
Arsenal haven't been beaten in 17 games in the league but that doesn't mean they're on form. I can see their lucky run ending here, Wigan will get stuck in and let Arsenal know they're there. Villareal had the right idea, kick 'em hard and the fragile little lambs will go off crying in pain. Just a shame Villareal were to foreign to capitalise on it properly.
Verdict 1-0

Stoke v Newcastle
Alan Shearer is quite rightly a Newcastle legend, how much success did he bring the club? He's also an England great, I bet Newcastle wish they had someone with Shearer's international pedigree up front but I can't think of anyone they've got who could match what Shearer did for his country. However, Stoke don't have any legends so I can't see how they'll get out of the relegation zone I'm afraid.
Verdict 1-2

Aston Villa v Everton
Villa have let everyone down recently by losing the 4th spot, now it looks like they'll be fighting Everton for 5th place. Quite frankly I'm so disappointed in them I'm starting to think that Martin O'Neill isn't as English as we all thought. David Moyes definitely is though so I think it'll be an Everton win here.
Verdict 1-3

Man City v Fulham
Man City are linked with every flashy foreigner under the sun at the moment but they should take a leaf out of Fulham's book. Buy English. Fulham are English through and through from the very top to the very bottom. Man City could learn from that.
Verdict 0-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/04/09

2009-04-03T10:14:00.002+01:00

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Earlier in the week my eldest son, Barry, made his debut for Chester City's youth team. He got sent off after 54 minutes for a two footed lunge. I was livid, I told him, Barry, I said, you could've ended that poor lad's career before it had even begun. His strike partner was French, why didn't you go for him? But he's young so he'll learn quick enough not to do that sort of thing while the ref is looking.

Blackburn v Tottenham
Spurs have got Ledley King back to fitness which is a real bonus he makes their already strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane even stronger. However he is injury prone so I'm sure Big Sam will tell his players to get stuck into him. If I was playing I'd go in at about knee height and snap his leg within the first minute just to let him know I'm there.
Verdict 1-1

Arsenal v Man City
One of Arsenal's main problems is their lack of a traditional English centre forward, a big lad up front that they can hump balls up to. They just don't have anyone like that so they have to resort to fancy passing and you don't win anything by passing. If Man City can take advantage of Arsenal's poor form they could get a good win here.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Middlesbrough
I'm expecting this to be an absolute cracker. It will literally knock your socks off. It will blow your proverbial mind. There will be hard tackles aplenty and I'm literally about to explode with the excitement. I genuinely think this could be the game of the season.
Verdict 0-0

Hull v Portsmouth
The Portsmouth lads will be travelling a long way for this fixture and it will be galling for them if they come home with nothing. I once travelled all the way to Torquay with Tranmere and we lost because I scored an own goal in the last minute. The lads were so angry and disrespectful considering I was the only player in the team who had been capped at international level. They told me to shove my caps up my arse. I can't imagine the likes of Sol Campbell would take kindly to someone wanting to put something up his arse, so hopefully they'll come away with the points.
Verdict 1-2

Newcastle v Chelsea
Alan Shearer has swapped the pressure and risks of punditry to go into the cosy world of management. The geordies love him but he won't get his dream start here because he's up against John Terry. If John Terry had been in ancient Greece Alexander the Great would've been known as Alexander the Average because no one can compete with JT.
Verdict 0-2

West Brom v Stoke
This is a real six pointer. Maybe even a seven pointer, it's that important. But even with seven points I think they'd struggle to get out of the relegation zone. Because if we're honest both teams are rubbish aren't they?
Verdict 1-1

West Ham v Sunderland
When I heard Zola was going into management I was shocked, he's only 5 foot or something. How can players look up to someone so short? I'd say you should be at least 6 foot to be a manager. I mean if I looked over to the bench for some inspirational tactics and I saw Zola I'd think shouldn't that kid be in school? Sunderland will teach West Ham a lesson here.
Verdict 0-1

Fulham v Liverpool
Liverpool couldn't be in a better position to win the league after beating Man Utd and I can't see them slipping up here. I don't think Fulham have got the players to beat anyone in the top four.
Verdict 0-2

Everton v Wigan
I have great respect for both these teams the managers have done fantastic jobs. With Moyes being Scottish and Bruce being English it also adds a bit of extra spice. It'll be like the English Civil War only with two different countries fighting. It's hard to pick a winner in this one, but luckily I don't have to. It'll be a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Man Utd v Aston Villa
If Villa want to try and get back into fourth place they have to be able to win games like this. Unfortunately Man Utd will really be up for this game. I can't see Villa getting anything here, when was the last time Man Utd lost back to back games? Never, I'd wager.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit on International Football

2009-03-26T21:49:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Nothing makes a footballer prouder than when he gets asked to represent his country. Or in my case the country of their estranged Grandfather. Not just any old Tom, Dick or Harry can play international football, you have to be born in a proper country for a start. I mean pointless little places like Goa, Gibraltar and Uruguay don't have football teams and rightly so. It's not like any of them could ever win a World Cup could they?

When I got the call up to the Northern ireland squad for the first time I was thrilled. It was like I'd finally fulfilled my destiny. I always knew I would play at the top level of the game. Some people are born with natural talent and some people have to slog their guts out to acquire it. I did both. I also had fantastic support from my mother. She encouraged me to play football every night after school. I'd get home and she'd have locked the door so that I wouldn't come in and start watching the telly. And on the rare occassions she'd leave the door open she'd always be entertaining one of my millions of Uncles upstairs and wouldn't want to be disturbed so I'd grab my ball and head down the park.

As I said though it wasn't just hard work. To be an international footballer you also need two things that you're either born with or you're not; grit and determination and I have both in spades. In fact my mother often used to say "Dave, you're a total grit." especially if she'd had a couple of rum-and-peps.

Many people ask me wouldn't I have prefered to have played for England and I reply it doesn't matter which country you play for as long as they're British. Because as we all know all us Brits are the same, just ask the Scots. And anyway, some of the best English players don't play their international football for England. Robbie Keane for instance.

This week we some truly mouth-watering international fixtures. I won't insult your intelligence by predicting the matches, it's obvious the British teams will all win. If anyone can spot a match that could cause any of the home nations any kind of problems they're a better pundit than me. Which of course they're not, because I'm an ex-pro and I've got a diploma in Punditry.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/03/09

2009-03-20T11:57:00.004Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people would like to see video technology introduced to aid referees. All I'll say on the subject is I'm glad they didn't have it my day, then the ref might have noticed all the sly kicks, trips, elbows and right hooks I did behind his back. To be honest I'm more concerned about the advances in pundit technology. Steve Claridge tells me they're working on a super computer that can predict results with 50% accuracy. It's so simple to use even a monkey could work it. Imagine that, a trained chimp doing my job. I'll have to keep on my toes.

Portsmouth v Everton
Portsmouth have lost 13 games this season, over half of them at home. So they'll have to be careful against a strong Everton team. However I can see this being a draw as Fratton Park is a bit of a fortress for Pompey.
Verdict 1-1

Blackburn v West Ham
Sam Allardyce will have earmarked this fixture as a good opportunity to pick up three points but they'll have to be wary of Zola's continental tactics trying to con the ref with blatant diving. Something a good Brit like Allardyce would never allow in his team.
Verdict 2-1

Fulham v Man Utd
Last week's loss to Liverpool may have shocked some but lets face it they were up against probably the best team in the country at the moment. The question is will they be able to bounce back against Fulham. The answer is: yes. Man Utd are probably the best team in the country at the moment.
Verdict 0-2

Stoke v Middlesbrough
Now we're at the business end of the season the fixture list will throw up fixtures like this. It's literally a six-pointer and both teams will be desperate to get the three points. A loss here could literally spell the end for either team and we all know how the end is spelt. R.E.L.E.G.A.T.I.O.N. But it'll probably be a draw anyway.
Verdict 1-1

Tottenham v Chelsea
It's no surprise Tottenham beat Villa last week. With new signings Keane, Defoe and Chimbonda they look like a different team to last year. However they won't beat Chelsea. John Terry vs Robbie Keane will be a true battle of Britain but Terry just edges it. In fact if Terry had been involved in the real battle of Britain the Luftwaffe would have taken one look at him standing on the white cliffs of Dover and just turned back home.
Verdict 0-2

West Brom v Bolton
This is another relegation battle and I'm expecting a real classic. A good old fashioned English game of football. Blood and guts defending, violent exchanges, frayed tempers. And that'll just be the managers. On the pitch it will be ten times more intense, it wouldn't surprise me if both teams finished with nine men. This will be a showcase for the Premier League trust me.
Verdict 0-1

Newcastle v Arsenal
A lot of people say that Newcastle are too good to go down. That they'll definitely avoid the drop. But my first wife was too good to go down as well and she got dropped. Joe Kinnear is getting back to fitness and in an ideal world his strength and passion would mean Newcastle don't get relegated but one person's mentality doesn't reflect the team as a whole. Arsenal on the other hand showed what a bunch of classless foreigners they really are with Cesc Fabregas spitting at Hull's assistant manager. I agree with Phil Brown, his actions reflect on the club as a whole.
Verdict 2-1

Wigan v Hull
As I say, the spitting incident in the FA Cup was terrible. A truly disrespectful act. In my day if you wanted revenge for something on the pitch you kept it on the pitch. What's wrong with waiting til the next fixture and then putting in a couple of leg breaking challenges. Then it's all finished with and no harm done. Hopefully this match will be a much more British affair where the only spit will be in a hotel room with a hooker after the game.
Verdict 0-0

Man City v Sunderland
Sunderland have had a real up and down season. They've been pretty much hovering around 14th all year. Man City have also been inconsistent but I think they'll be confident after their win in the UEFA Cup on Thursday. Another English team winning on penalties. It's just another area in which we're superior and we always have been.
Verdict 2-1

Liverpool v Aston Villa
Aston Villa have been on a poor run recently and that will continue against the mighty Liverpool. With Gerrard and Torres they are the most exciting attacking force in the country. With Carragher and Skrtel they have the strongest defence and with Kuyt and Benayoun they have some wingers. Have they left it too late to win the league? I don't think so. If they win every game from here on in there is literally no way that they wont be able to overtake Man Utd.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit on Diouf

2009-03-15T13:23:00.002Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people have been condemning Diouf's tackle on Manuel Almunia in the Arsenal v Blackburn game yesterday. I feel it's time to set the record straight. Firstly we have to realise that Diouf is foreign, the English game doesn't come naturally to him, but he launched himself into that challenge as if he'd been born and bred in good old blighty. It'd bring a tear to my I if I wasn't so damn rugged.

Secondly we have to think about who he was tackling. Manuel Almunia. Arsenal's keeper. Now in my day keeper's were fair game. You could elbow them in the face, bundle them over the line or leap in from 10 feet away with no chance of getting the ball and it was all perfectly acceptable. Nowadays however goalkeepers get far too much protection, the slightest foul and they get a freekick. The simple fact is that Diouf was just playing a good old fashioned style of football whereas Almunia was running around outside his area as if he was a fullback.

In my eyes if Almunia is going to go around acting like a proper footballer instead of a goalkeeper he should expect to get tackled like a real footballer. So let's hear it for Diouf for his attempts to fit into the British game and let's stop sympathising with a Spanish keeper who is under the deluded belief, common amongst Arsenal players, that people come to matches to see football being played.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 14/03/09

2009-03-13T10:08:00.004Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. If music be the food of love then football is probably some kind of dessert. Or a starter. Actually it's the main course, what did Shakespeare know? Let's face it if you had a choice between reading Hamlet and Steven Gerrard's autobiography we all know we'd choose Stevie G's book. Hamlet was foreign for a start. I imagine he'd be a diver.

Man Utd v Liverpool
Going on form alone I'd have to lean towards Liverpool. They beat Real Madrid 4-0 for God's sake. Man Utd have a good English spine but they could only put two past Inter. But European form counts for nothing in the Premier League. Luckily Liverpool have a manager who really respects the domestic competitions. Then again so do Man Utd. However United just don't have Liverpool's pedigree. Have they won the league 18 times? No. And I can't see them doing it any time soon.
Verdict 0-1

Arsenal v Blackburn
When Big Sam was the Bolton manager he had a great record against Arsenal. And that was for one reason and one reason alone; grit and determination. Since Ashley Cole and Sol Campbell left Arsenal haven't liked it up them. Big Sam is an advocate of big, hard tackles and if they can penetrate Arsenal's rear I think they could have some joy here.
Verdict 1-2

Bolton v Fulham
Gary Megson has got Bolton playing dull, workman-like hoofball. And I for one love it. Fulham have lost a bit of form and I think it's down to the fact that they've been trying to play football recently. There's just no place for that in the English game.
Verdict 1-0

Everton v Stoke
In the past Stoke relied heavily on Rory Delap chucking a ball as far as he can. This was a very effective tactic but I think teams have worked it out now. If they want to stay up they'll have to find something new. A good old fashioned long ball game should suffice. However even with astute tactics like that I believe Everton will be too strong for them.
Verdict 2-0

Hull v Newcastle
This is a real northern ding-dong. And as everyone knows the north is heart of England. Unfortunately Newcastle have spent far too much time playing like southerners. However with Michael Owen returning to fitness I think Newcastle will have a strong run in, which will please Joe Kinnear after his recent illness. If Newcastle went down I think it would break his heart.
Verdict 0-1

Middlesbrough v Portsmouth
Pompey have been playing like the southerners they are. And as everyone knows the south is the colon of England. Middlesbrough however managed to beat Liverpool at Anfield so they must be having the season of their lives. I just can't see Portsmouth getting anything here.
Verdict 0-0

Sunderland v Wigan
At this stage of the season every point is vital. This will literally be a dogfight. Two teams giving everything to win, no quarter asked, no quarter given. Whoever loses will be devastated. However, I believe both teams have enough points to be safe now, so dropped points here won't be vital, and anyone who suggests otherwise is a fool.
Verdict 1-1

Chelsea v Man City
In many respects Man City are the new Chelsea. They have lots of money. However what they don't have is John Terry. Maybe if Manchester could produce someone of his calibre they'd be able to produce a successful team.
Verdict 2-0

Aston Villa v Tottenham
A lot of people are predicting Villa to collapse but I just can't see it happening. How can a team as English as them fail? However Tottenham also have more than there fair share of Brits. Woodgate, Jenas and Keane. With a spine like that even Villa will find it hard to break them down.
Verdict 1-1

West Ham v West Brom
I have nothing but respect for West Brom but let's face it they're crap. Even a team managed by an Italian shortarse should be able to defeat them.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit's Champions League Predictions

2009-03-10T12:09:00.005Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Europe is a big continent, I'm just glad Britain isn't part of it. I don't even change my money when I go abroad for a booze cruise. If the hypermarkets wont accept pound sterling then I just don't pay. I once went on a trip to Greece with Tranmere it was the worst week of my life. They told me not to drink the water so I stuck solely to Ouzo. I was sick as a dog all week. Give me a good English drink like Stella any day.

Liverpool v Real Madrid
Both of these teams have real European pedigree but Liverpool also have English pedigree which Madrid don't so that gives Liverpool a big advantage. In fact as far as pedigree goes you can't beat the likes of Gerrard and Carragher. Even someone like Torres has pedigree, you don't get that sort of player in Spain.
Verdict 2-0

Juventus v Chelsea
It's important for a team to have history and since Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea they have it in spades. John Terry gives a team history all on his own. He's an old fashioned defender, he can tackle, he can injure players and he can head the ball. What more do you need. If Juventus had Terry they would never have had to bribe anyone. Other teams would've given them money just for the privilege of playing against him.
Verdict 0-2

Roma v Arsenal
I'm not a big fan of Arsenal but I always support English teams in Europe, even if they are foreign like the Gunners. But let's face it they'll have no problems here. Roma can't even spell the name of their city right. It's Rome you idiots.
Verdict 0-1

Man Utd v Inter Milan
Jose Mourinho worked miracles with the likes of Drogba, Essien and Carvalho at Chelsea but he'll struggle to do the same with a bunch of foreign jessies at Inter Milan. Alex Ferguson of course has a good strong bunch of Englishmen to call on Ferdinand, Scholes, Fletcher, Giggs, Evans. The list of English talent is endless.
Verdict 2-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 07/03/09

2009-03-06T10:25:00.005Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The subject of tackling has reared it's ugly head again this week, quite frankly I think the art of the tackling has been lost. Two-footed challenges, violent lunges and career ending leg breakers, they're becoming rarer and rarer. Luckily the seem to be making a resurgence this season. It gives you hope for the future.

Coventry v Chelsea
This could be a real banana skin for Chelsea, if they underestimate Coventry or treat them with contempt then they should get through no problem. Let's face it Coventry aren't going to get past John Terry. Every country would love John Terry as an ambassador for them. If John Terry was German they'd never have lost the war and we'd all be living in Nazi Germany.
Verdict 0-3

Fulham v Man Utd
Man Utd played a young team in the Carling Cup but as the adage goes if you're young enough your good enough. And the likes of Giggs, Scholes and Ferdinand were too much for Spurs last week. I can see them being too much for Fulham too.
Verdict 0-2

Sunderland v Tottenham
If this was an FA Cup match it would be impossible to predict but as it's in the league it's a whole different ball game. These teams are in the same boat, trying to keep above the relegation battle but a loss for either team could see them sucked back in. It'll be a tight, tentative affair and as we reach the business end of the season it's these sort of league games that are impossible to predict. However Tottenham might just edge it, after all they do have the stronger British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane.
Verdict 1-2

Arsenal v Burnley
Arsenal have already lost to Burnley once this season and I can't see why it would be any different here, yes they're at home and yes they're playing their first team rather than the Carling Cup kids but they're still a bunch of foreign jessies who don't like teams who get in their faces. Burnley will be so in their face that the Arsenal players will be sneezing them out for a week afterwards.
Verdict 0-1

Everton v Middlesbrough
This is what the FA Cup is all about. Realistically neither of these teams are going to win the tournament, that'll be Chelsea or Man Utd, but they'll still literally sweat blood and give every last ounce of strength to go through to the next round. This is going to be the game of the weekend, trust me.
Verdict 0-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 02/03/09

2009-03-02T22:16:00.005Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Football has changed almost beyond recognition since I played the game. In fact I'd go so far as to say you'd barely recognise the sport of today if you'd been around in my day. Of course for those of you who are old enough to remember the old days you'll realise that nothing much has changed. Footballers are all cut from the same cloth. We all love the game, we all want to win and we all get screwed over when we have to divorce our wives. But that's just football, I guess.

West Brom v Arsenal
Everyone knows that Arsenal are lightweight and defensively week. If there's one thing you're guaranteed in an Arsenal game it's goals. Sadly West Brom don't seem to have enough English grit and passion to take advantage of Arsenal's shoddy back line. Which result in that rarest of things: an Arsenal clean sheet.
Verdict 0-1

Portsmouth v Chelsea
This is exactly the sort of game Pompey don't need if they're going to beat the drop. They just wont be able to break Chelsea down and that's entirely down to one man, John Terry. Terry is so English that if he was a piece of art Tate Britain would have to be renamed Tate England.
Verdict 0-2

Liverpool v Sunderland
Liverpool will want to wipe away the memories of their defeat to Middlesbrough. You just have to have a clean slate, completely wipe the past from their minds. If they can just focus on their peformance against Real Madrid they should be able to stop dwelling on the past.
Verdict 2-0

Man City v Aston Villa
When Man City play to their strengths they can be fantastic they just haven't done it enough. This is down to a lack of British spine, however bringing in Shay Given should help sort that out. Villa have so many Brtitish players you could almost say their whole team is a spine.
Verdict 1-1

Newcastle v Man Utd
Man Utd proved that they were winners in the Carling Cup and they did it in the best possible way by drawing 0-0 after extra time. Any team that can draw a game and still win are something special.
Verdict 0-3

Stoke v Bolton
This fixture just screams classic. Two British sides play proper British football. Proper British center-halves. One to do the tackling one to hoof it up field. Proper British grafters in midfield, none of this time on the ball rubbish, just more tackling and more hoofing. And up front a traditional big centre forward to hold up the ball and irritate defenders. It's games like this that make you realise how much all these technical, skillful, intelligent foreigners playing beautiful free flowing football have ruined our game.
Verdict 0-0

Wigan v West Ham
I think the best teams take on their managers character. Which is why Wigan are very good at winning ugly. It's also why West Ham a little bit short up front. I think of it like this; you put Steve Bruce and Gianfranco Zola into a boxing ring who's going to win? it's going to be the guy who looks like he's already gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson isn't it?
Verdict 1-0

Blackburn v Everton
Very few managers are a match for Sam Allardyce but I've got to say David Moyes comes close. However his players do seem to get injured a lot so he obviously needs to have his defenders practice a few leg breaking challenges on the strikers in training to toughen them up. They'll certainly appreciate it when going up against Blackburn.
Verdict 2-1

Fulham v Hull
Fulham went to Arsenal and played football and they got what they deserved. A nil-nil draw. Now if they'd just gone and parked the bus for 90 minutes they might've been able to nick a one-nil win. Let's hope they're a bit more defensively minded against Hull.
Verdict 1-0

Tottenham v Middlesbrough
This will be a test of the Tottenham players' fitness after a long, hard match at Wembley, whereas Middlesbrough will be rejuvenated after their lucky win over Liverpool. The Spurs players will be all right though they've probably been drowning their sorrows since the game and I always found a massive binge in between games helped my performance. Plus they'll be able to bring back Robbie Keane so they'll be able to add a bit of British steel up front.
Verdict 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 28/02/09

2009-02-26T23:49:00.004Z

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. When I was a boy kicking a can around in the street I never thought one day I'd play for Liverpool. And I didn't I played for them on six different days which is much better than just one. And when I was playing professional football I never thought I'd become a pundit, I always figured I'd own a bar or something. Or sell insurance. But here I am, punditing away. It just goes to show you, you can't predict anything in life. But enough about me, on with this week's predictions.

Everton v West Brom
Arteta's injury could be a blessing in disguise for Everton. Now they can blood some young British talent. In fact they don't even have to be that talented, as long as they're British. Let's face it in the current financial climate playing the youngsters is the only way forward. West Brom look like they're in trouble and I think that's because they didn't splash the cash enough in January. It's the only way to stop them slipping backwards.
Verdict 2-0

Arsenal v Fulham
Arsenal have had three 0-0 draws in the last three games. Has Wenger finally learnt how to play the game the English way? If they can put there foreign tendencies behind them again this could be an absolutely cracking game against a thoroughly English Fulham side.
Verdict 0-0

Chelsea v Wigan
If Chelsea have a good finish to the season it will all be down to one man: John Terry. John Terry is so English they should erect a hundred foot column in Trafalgar Square with a statue of him on top. It would become a shrine to all things English people would come from far and wide to bow down and kiss it. I for one would pay good money to kiss Terry's column.
Verdict 2-0

Middlesbrough v Liverpool
Middlesbrough have been in a terrible slump recently and they will literally have to play their hearts out to get out of it. They need to pick up points from the teams around them at the bottom of the league. Sadly for them Liverpool are literally at the very top of the table in second place.
Verdict 0-2

Hull v Blackburn
Hull are another team in freefall whereas Blackburn have been revitalised under Big Sam. He knows what a team in a relegation battle needs to do because he's been there many times before. His experience of relegation dogfights prove that he is one of the top managers in the league. Hull, I'm afraid, will struggle in this game, especially if they make the mistake of trying to play football. Big Sam wont stand for that.
Verdict 0-1

West Ham v Man City
Man City showed they are a team on the up with a draw against Liverpool and they owe it all to good English lads like Bellamy and Ireland. It also helps that they've got an English manager too. West Ham of course have a pint-sized Italian, an Italian managing a team in England. I never thought I'd see the day.
Verdict 1-2

Bolton v Newcastle
Now this is more like it. A real English battle. Newcastle will miss Kevin Nolan, I'm sure his reckless, two footed lunge had many people close to tears. I know I was. It really took me back to when football was a real man's game. Hopefully we'll have more of the same in this game.
Verdict 0-0

Aston Villa v Stoke
Villa are now out of all competitions except the league which means they can concentrate on the main task of keeping Arsenal's foreign legion out of the top four. Villa deserve a place at the top table in football. They're an English club through and through. Arsenal's board could learn a thing or two from Villa's chairman. I doubt he even knows what a foreigner is.
Verdict 2-0

Man Utd v Tottenham
The Carling Cup Final. A truly glorious event. It's not quite the FA Cup but that just shows how great English football is; we have two great cup competitions. I wish it had been called the Carling Cup in my day. I always put a bit of extra effort in when there's alcohol at stake. I think Man Utd this will be a tight, close fought encounter that could well go to penalties. And then it's just a lottery who wins. But it'll definitely be Man Utd who are victors. With their strong English spine how could they fail to win a penalty shoot out? Then again, of course, Spurs have a strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane. This is too close to call.
Verdict 1-1 (Man Utd to win on penalties)