Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a terrible week for all the English clubs in Europe. Not one of them has qualified for the last 16 yet and to rub salt into the wound Arsenal did. It's a Ryan Giggs of a situation: a shocking state of affairs. Hopefully the return to proper English football will bring more joy. As Winston Churchill said "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win." So it doesn't look good for old unbeaten Arsenal does it?
Stoke v Blackburn
So often the early game on a Saturday is one of the big clubs trouncing one of the minnows so it's refreshing to see this real clash of the Titans. Neither team is in particularly good form at the moment so hopefully they will get back to the basics of grinding out a result without ever playing anything resembling football. And if we're really lucky we might get to see one of the truly great sights in football; Rory Delap flinging the ball at Peter Crouch's head and it ricocheting into the net. Glorious.
Verdict: 1-1
Bolton v Everton
Neither of these teams will be happy with their start to the season and they've both made too many individual errors, the main one being attempting to play football. I think Bolton could struggle all season but at least Everton have a Scotchman at the helm so he can bring a bit of British grit to proceedings. Still he could do with splashing the cash a bit more, Everton are a big club and big clubs should spend the money they earn instead of sitting on there profits. Football is not a business, Bill Kenwright, you'd do well to remember that.
Verdict: 0-2
Chelsea v Wolves
I recently put Andre Villas Boas into Google translate and it turns out in English his name is Andrew Houses Snakes. Unfortunately at the moment his Chelsea team lacks venom. Not John Terry though, he's like a viper with a lions head, heart, and body. If anyone can show the resilience to drag Chelsea back after losing to a bunch of Germans it's John Terry. He has absolutely no resemblence to any German ever, living or dead. He's more English than the English Channel, more British than British Steel and more United Kingdom than the King, whoever he is.
Verdict: 3-0
Man Utd v Newcastle
Newcastle have got a very difficult run games at the moment and it's a shame it's coincided with their worst run of form of the season. I can't see them winning here, Man Utd might not be playing brilliantly at the moment but it's a sign of the truly great teams that you keep winning even when you're not actually very good. But Newcastle are a well run club and it's refreshing to see a proper fan in charge rather than some faceless corporation so I think they'll pull themselves out of this slump before long.
Verdict: 1-0
Norwich v QPR
Norwich may have lost last week but it's these sort of games that are the ones that count for them, it's important to win your home games. Whatever happens though I'm sure the fans are enjoying the ride in their first shot at the big time. I heard of an entire family of Norwich fans who went last week Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, Grandchildren and all four of them loved it. Good on them.
Verdict: 2-1
Sunderland v Wigan
Now I'm not the sort of pundit who would ever call for a manager to be sacked but Steve Bruce is under real pressure at the moment. Luckily he's up against an equally poor Wigan side led by Roberto Martinez, who should be sacked.
Verdict: 2-0
West Brom v Tottenham
I mentioned Google Translate earlier I'd never heard of it until recently, Steve Claridge suggested it might be useful to help me understand Roy Hodgson's interviews. Unfortunately Google Translate doesn't seem to know what language he's speaking either. Harry Redknapp only speaks one language however: football. And football is a language is that is spoken from the heart and no one has a stronger footballing heart than Harry Redknapp. I honestly can't see this game being too taxing for a man of his character.
Verdict: 0-2
Arsenal v Fulham
There have been accusations that Arsenal are a one man team and to some extent those accusations are true. Can you imagine if they didn't have Theo Walcott? They'd be completely foreign. It's a big burden for the lad but he's been going to World Cups with England since he was teenager so he'll know how to handle pressure, gambling and shagging around. I still hope Fulham beat them though. Foreign Jessies.
Verdict: 0-1
Swansea v Aston Villa
Villa got their tactics all wrong for the Tottenham game last week but that shouldn't be a problem here. The Welsh wouldn't know a tactic if it kicked them in the balls. Which is probably what Alan Hutton is going to do. Marvellous.
Verdict: 0-3
Liverpool v Man City
Man City's unbeaten run ends here. After their humiliating defeat to Napoli in midweek, the blows will keep on coming. I mean where is Napoli anyway? I've never heard of it and I've been to Italy, I've heard of Rome, Milan, Turin and Naples, but Napoli? It's probably some pokey little village in the middle of nowhere. Much like Manchester in fact. Liverpool will have too much for them, trust me. It'll be a black day for City's defence when they face Suarez.
Verdict: 2-1
Friday, 25 November 2011
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Dave Pundit's Predictions 19/11/11
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I see this week Sepp Blatter has posted pictures of him hugging Tokyo Sexwale. It's no big deal, who hasn't got drunk and woken up in a Japanese brothel? He's also got himself embroiled in the ongoing race row,and I think we can all agree that racism is a cancer in football and Sepp Blatter is dealing with this cancer in exactly the right way, ignoring it and hoping it goes away.
Norwich v Arsenal
After Arsenal's poor start they have won a couple on the trot recently but hopefully they can get back on track here against a Norwich team who, like Burnley and Blackpool before them have made a great start to their first ever season in top flight football.
Verdict: 2-1
Everton v Wolves
This literally is a must win game for both teams, a loss here would mean that either team would only be left with 27 games in which to turn their season around and could leave them in a battle for the midtable places. With a win here and a good run of form they could be challenging for about 9th or 10th.
Verdict: 2-0
Man City v Newcastle
So Tevez has gone walkabout to Argentina again? It's no surprise to me anyone could see, even when he was at West Ham that he was trouble. I hope Mancini has learnt his lesson here, no top manager, Sir Alex Ferguson for example, would ever have touched him with a bargepole. As far as this match goes these are the only two unbeaten teams left in the league but one of them will have to lose that record here.
Verdict: 1-1
Stoke v QPR
This is the sort of game that sets the Premiership apart from all othe leagues in world football. A few years ago this would have been a lower league clash, played in an awful stadium with no flair or technical skill on display. It would've been dour and dull and uncultured and probably won by the odd goal from a long ball. And finally that fantastic prospect has reached the Premier League.
Verdict: 1-0
Sunderland v Fulham
It is clear that Sunderland have struggled since they lost Darren Bent to Villa. It's hard to bring in someone who can get you the goals that Bent gets and Sunderland don't have the money to just go out and get an Andy Carroll or a Fernando Torres like the big teams do. Fulham have their own English goal machine in Bobby Zamora who is carving a niche for himself in the national team which, after beating Spain, is clearly the best in the world. I honestly think Zamora could be the next Emile Heskey.
Verdict: 0-1
West Brom v Bolton
Look at the fates of the last three Liverpool managers, Houllier had a heart attack and for all I know is now dead, Benitez will probably never work again and Roy Hodgson is the worst off getting stuck in the Black Country. All this points to one thing, Liverpool should stop hiring foreigners. Bolton finally got a win under their belts last time out and I'm sure that fantastic run of will continue here.
Verdict: 0-0
Wigan v Blackburn
This is already a real relegation tussle and a loss for either team could spell the end for the manager. That would be a real shame for Steve Kean who has all the attributes to be the next Tony Pulis but it's really time someone put Martinez out of his misery and sent him home to Italy.
Verdict: 1-2
Swansea v Man Utd
I used to know a Welshman, he was a nice chap, until he took me out on the pull with him. Now I've slept with the odd sexwhale in my time but I draw the line at sheep! That's a joke of course. I've never met a nice Welshman. Let's hope they get crushed by Man Utd's thoroughly nice spine of Ferdinand, Rooney and Giggs.
Chelsea v Liverpool
What ought to have been billed as the game of the season has been overshadowed by this daft race row. It's truly ludicrous to believe that someone of John Terry's pedigree would be involved in something like this, he is a true leader of men someone who should be celebrated, there should be a party thrown in his honour party in this country. A British national party. And in my book there's still no better defender in the land, yes he's still the top dog when it comes to the English defence league. As for Suarez well he might be racist, he is foreign after all, but if you can't sweep things under the carpet for the most successful team in the country who can you sweep them under the carpet for?
Verdict: 1-1
Tottenham v Aston Villa
On a personal level Harry Redknapp must be on cloud nine at the moment. He can clearly do no wrong and he'll feel like no harm could ever befall him the way Spurs are playing. As Winston Churchill once said "He's walking on sunshine, whoa oo, and don't it feel good?" As for Alex McLeish, he's alright for a ginge, but he's no 'Arry is he?
Verdict: 3-1
Norwich v Arsenal
After Arsenal's poor start they have won a couple on the trot recently but hopefully they can get back on track here against a Norwich team who, like Burnley and Blackpool before them have made a great start to their first ever season in top flight football.
Verdict: 2-1
Everton v Wolves
This literally is a must win game for both teams, a loss here would mean that either team would only be left with 27 games in which to turn their season around and could leave them in a battle for the midtable places. With a win here and a good run of form they could be challenging for about 9th or 10th.
Verdict: 2-0
Man City v Newcastle
So Tevez has gone walkabout to Argentina again? It's no surprise to me anyone could see, even when he was at West Ham that he was trouble. I hope Mancini has learnt his lesson here, no top manager, Sir Alex Ferguson for example, would ever have touched him with a bargepole. As far as this match goes these are the only two unbeaten teams left in the league but one of them will have to lose that record here.
Verdict: 1-1
Stoke v QPR
This is the sort of game that sets the Premiership apart from all othe leagues in world football. A few years ago this would have been a lower league clash, played in an awful stadium with no flair or technical skill on display. It would've been dour and dull and uncultured and probably won by the odd goal from a long ball. And finally that fantastic prospect has reached the Premier League.
Verdict: 1-0
Sunderland v Fulham
It is clear that Sunderland have struggled since they lost Darren Bent to Villa. It's hard to bring in someone who can get you the goals that Bent gets and Sunderland don't have the money to just go out and get an Andy Carroll or a Fernando Torres like the big teams do. Fulham have their own English goal machine in Bobby Zamora who is carving a niche for himself in the national team which, after beating Spain, is clearly the best in the world. I honestly think Zamora could be the next Emile Heskey.
Verdict: 0-1
West Brom v Bolton
Look at the fates of the last three Liverpool managers, Houllier had a heart attack and for all I know is now dead, Benitez will probably never work again and Roy Hodgson is the worst off getting stuck in the Black Country. All this points to one thing, Liverpool should stop hiring foreigners. Bolton finally got a win under their belts last time out and I'm sure that fantastic run of will continue here.
Verdict: 0-0
Wigan v Blackburn
This is already a real relegation tussle and a loss for either team could spell the end for the manager. That would be a real shame for Steve Kean who has all the attributes to be the next Tony Pulis but it's really time someone put Martinez out of his misery and sent him home to Italy.
Verdict: 1-2
Swansea v Man Utd
I used to know a Welshman, he was a nice chap, until he took me out on the pull with him. Now I've slept with the odd sexwhale in my time but I draw the line at sheep! That's a joke of course. I've never met a nice Welshman. Let's hope they get crushed by Man Utd's thoroughly nice spine of Ferdinand, Rooney and Giggs.
Chelsea v Liverpool
What ought to have been billed as the game of the season has been overshadowed by this daft race row. It's truly ludicrous to believe that someone of John Terry's pedigree would be involved in something like this, he is a true leader of men someone who should be celebrated, there should be a party thrown in his honour party in this country. A British national party. And in my book there's still no better defender in the land, yes he's still the top dog when it comes to the English defence league. As for Suarez well he might be racist, he is foreign after all, but if you can't sweep things under the carpet for the most successful team in the country who can you sweep them under the carpet for?
Verdict: 1-1
Tottenham v Aston Villa
On a personal level Harry Redknapp must be on cloud nine at the moment. He can clearly do no wrong and he'll feel like no harm could ever befall him the way Spurs are playing. As Winston Churchill once said "He's walking on sunshine, whoa oo, and don't it feel good?" As for Alex McLeish, he's alright for a ginge, but he's no 'Arry is he?
Verdict: 3-1
Friday, 11 November 2011
Dave Pundit on Rememberance Day
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. There are no Premier League fixtures this week so I've decided not to do any predictions for them. It's one of the golden rules of punditry, really. If there aren't any games don't stick your neck out. Of course there are the international games but how long does it take to predict that all the home nations will win against whatever dross they're playing against?
So instead I've decided to talk about the poppy debacle that has been running this week. Quite frankly I can't believe there was ever an issue with the England team wearing poppies. It's political correctness gone mad if you ask me. The poppy is a symbol of the brave people who fought and died for this country and our equally brave footballers, like John Terry, aren't allowed to wear a poppy in case they offend a German? It's a blooming disgrace.
I mean, excuse me, but who won the war? That's right it was us. And if that upsets some Germans well they shouldn't have started the war in the first place. Quite frankly I think the England team should wear poppies all year round. I mean if you can't win a war and then mock the losers what's the point in war?
I also don't understand the mentality of people who refuse to wear poppies. Don't they realise people died for them? People fought and died for freedom of speech and they can't even be bothered to wear a poppy? I think it should be compulsory for all British people to wear a poppy. In fact each nationality and race should have their own symbol and be forced to wear it at all times just to make identifying them easier. That'll remind everyone why we fought the fascists in the first place.
On a personal note I do like to do my bit for charity, only this week a poor young urchin came up to me and pointed at my moustache and asked if I was doing Movember. I gave him 50p and told him to spend it on speech therapy lessons, it's November you daft little idiot. Never let it be said that I don't have compassion for the spastics.
Course you're not supposed to call them that now are you? They've had their name changed to retards or something haven't they? I can't abide all this changing of names, Eastlands is now the Etihad stadium, St James's Park is now the Sport Direct Arena where will it end? I blame Arsenal and their poppy-burning sponsors. That's where this all started, whatever happened to traditional names like Old Trafford, Anfield or The Reebok?
The worst thing is that I've heard Chelsea are going to change the name of Stamford Bridge. It's an outrage. Unless they go with the suggestion I've sent them: The John Terry Grithole.
Right that's it for now, I'll look forward to watching the England match with all the England players wearing their poppies with pride as they give the Spaniards their worst defeat since the Armarda.
So instead I've decided to talk about the poppy debacle that has been running this week. Quite frankly I can't believe there was ever an issue with the England team wearing poppies. It's political correctness gone mad if you ask me. The poppy is a symbol of the brave people who fought and died for this country and our equally brave footballers, like John Terry, aren't allowed to wear a poppy in case they offend a German? It's a blooming disgrace.
I mean, excuse me, but who won the war? That's right it was us. And if that upsets some Germans well they shouldn't have started the war in the first place. Quite frankly I think the England team should wear poppies all year round. I mean if you can't win a war and then mock the losers what's the point in war?
I also don't understand the mentality of people who refuse to wear poppies. Don't they realise people died for them? People fought and died for freedom of speech and they can't even be bothered to wear a poppy? I think it should be compulsory for all British people to wear a poppy. In fact each nationality and race should have their own symbol and be forced to wear it at all times just to make identifying them easier. That'll remind everyone why we fought the fascists in the first place.
On a personal note I do like to do my bit for charity, only this week a poor young urchin came up to me and pointed at my moustache and asked if I was doing Movember. I gave him 50p and told him to spend it on speech therapy lessons, it's November you daft little idiot. Never let it be said that I don't have compassion for the spastics.
Course you're not supposed to call them that now are you? They've had their name changed to retards or something haven't they? I can't abide all this changing of names, Eastlands is now the Etihad stadium, St James's Park is now the Sport Direct Arena where will it end? I blame Arsenal and their poppy-burning sponsors. That's where this all started, whatever happened to traditional names like Old Trafford, Anfield or The Reebok?
The worst thing is that I've heard Chelsea are going to change the name of Stamford Bridge. It's an outrage. Unless they go with the suggestion I've sent them: The John Terry Grithole.
Right that's it for now, I'll look forward to watching the England match with all the England players wearing their poppies with pride as they give the Spaniards their worst defeat since the Armarda.
Friday, 4 November 2011
Dave Pundit's Predictions 05/11/11
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees Sir Alex Ferguson celebrate his 25th anniversary as Manchester United. You can't argue with his pedigree but I think he faces his toughest challenge ahead. How will he cope with the spending power of Man City? He must be livid when he looks at Man City buying the title, it goes against everything Sir Alex stands for. Still 25 years as a manager is pretty good going. I reckon he'd know enough to have a go at punditry now.
Newcastle v Everton
It's hard to see Newcastle getting beaten at the moment, they're working hard for each other as a team and they're playing some lovely football so surely it can't be long before some team puts the boot in and stops them in their tracks. I'm just not sure Everton have got enough cloggers in their team to do the job, which is a shame.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v West Brom
Arsenal are in a terrible run of form at the moment and I genuinely can't remember the last time they kept a clean sheet in any competition. Yes, they beat Chelsea last week but they still conceded three goals, you can't concede that many and still consider yourself a good team. However even Arsenal should have too much for West Brom, who are surely kicking themselves for hiring a foreign manager.
Verdict: 3-2
Aston Villa v Norwich
Villa fans weren't happy when McLeish was appointed as there manager and it's easy to see why. No one likes a ginger. But what they forgot was the fact that he's Scotch and as Alex Ferguson has shown if there's one thing the Scotch can do is drink heavily and they can also manage a bit too. I think his nationality is what will give McLeish the edge in this game.
Verdict: 1-0
Blackburn v Chelsea
Chelsea slipped up against Arsenal last week but they won't slip up again. John Terry will see to that, John Terry doesn't make slip ups. Right now he has the weight the of the world on his shoulders but he'll stay tall like the upstanding British hero he is. Chelsea won't slump to another defeat with him leading them.
Verdict: 0-3
Liverpool v Swansea
Luis Suarez is THE outstanding striker in the Premier League bar none at the moment, and I reckon he'll fill his boots here against the leek eating, valley dwellers. Let's face it the Welsh might be able to produce good male voice choirs but that doesn't mean they can play football. Look at Liverpool, no musical heritage at all but we're the most successful team in the world.
Verdict: 1-0
Man Utd v Sunderland
What can you say about Alex Ferguson that hasn't already been said? That he eats babies. But that's not true, he's not Arsene Wenger. Credit where credit's due Alex Ferguson has performed miracles at Man Utd and made them the second most successful club in the country, if Steve Bruce could do half of what Sir Alex has done then he wouldn't be managing Sunderland.
Verdict: 2-0
QPR v Man City
Neil Warnock has been in trouble this week for saying his players defended like fairies. And quite right to, there's no room for homophobia in football. But if his team don't tighten up at the back they could leave themselves open to the likes of Silva playing in the hole. If they're not careful they could get royally shafted, the bunch of pansies.
Verdict: 0-3
Wolves v Wigan
Both these teams are facing tough times but as Winston Churchill once said "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I can see Wolves getting going here because they're tough whereas Wigan are literally the opposite of toughL: foreign. They're a disgrace to the North.
Verdict: 1-0
Bolton v Stoke
Against Newcastle last week Stoke looked dull, uninspired, lacking in ideas and had to resort to route one football, which just goes to show you can do everything right and still lose. Away from home though they've been distinctly average. Luckily Bolton this season have been worse than average, they've been ordinary.
Verdict: 1-2
Fulham v Tottenham
Poor Harry Redknapp has had to undergo heart surgery this week, which is a fairly drastic measure to get out of having to watch Europa League football. Having had my fair share of surgery though what I want to know is how did he jump the waiting lists? I'd say he slipped someone a few quid but that's not harry's style. Still the Spurs boys will know exactly what to do to give Harry the best get well present: nip to Tescos and buy a bottle of cheap gin. And they'll probably win this match too witch might cheer him up.
Verdict: 0-2
Newcastle v Everton
It's hard to see Newcastle getting beaten at the moment, they're working hard for each other as a team and they're playing some lovely football so surely it can't be long before some team puts the boot in and stops them in their tracks. I'm just not sure Everton have got enough cloggers in their team to do the job, which is a shame.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v West Brom
Arsenal are in a terrible run of form at the moment and I genuinely can't remember the last time they kept a clean sheet in any competition. Yes, they beat Chelsea last week but they still conceded three goals, you can't concede that many and still consider yourself a good team. However even Arsenal should have too much for West Brom, who are surely kicking themselves for hiring a foreign manager.
Verdict: 3-2
Aston Villa v Norwich
Villa fans weren't happy when McLeish was appointed as there manager and it's easy to see why. No one likes a ginger. But what they forgot was the fact that he's Scotch and as Alex Ferguson has shown if there's one thing the Scotch can do is drink heavily and they can also manage a bit too. I think his nationality is what will give McLeish the edge in this game.
Verdict: 1-0
Blackburn v Chelsea
Chelsea slipped up against Arsenal last week but they won't slip up again. John Terry will see to that, John Terry doesn't make slip ups. Right now he has the weight the of the world on his shoulders but he'll stay tall like the upstanding British hero he is. Chelsea won't slump to another defeat with him leading them.
Verdict: 0-3
Liverpool v Swansea
Luis Suarez is THE outstanding striker in the Premier League bar none at the moment, and I reckon he'll fill his boots here against the leek eating, valley dwellers. Let's face it the Welsh might be able to produce good male voice choirs but that doesn't mean they can play football. Look at Liverpool, no musical heritage at all but we're the most successful team in the world.
Verdict: 1-0
Man Utd v Sunderland
What can you say about Alex Ferguson that hasn't already been said? That he eats babies. But that's not true, he's not Arsene Wenger. Credit where credit's due Alex Ferguson has performed miracles at Man Utd and made them the second most successful club in the country, if Steve Bruce could do half of what Sir Alex has done then he wouldn't be managing Sunderland.
Verdict: 2-0
QPR v Man City
Neil Warnock has been in trouble this week for saying his players defended like fairies. And quite right to, there's no room for homophobia in football. But if his team don't tighten up at the back they could leave themselves open to the likes of Silva playing in the hole. If they're not careful they could get royally shafted, the bunch of pansies.
Verdict: 0-3
Wolves v Wigan
Both these teams are facing tough times but as Winston Churchill once said "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I can see Wolves getting going here because they're tough whereas Wigan are literally the opposite of toughL: foreign. They're a disgrace to the North.
Verdict: 1-0
Bolton v Stoke
Against Newcastle last week Stoke looked dull, uninspired, lacking in ideas and had to resort to route one football, which just goes to show you can do everything right and still lose. Away from home though they've been distinctly average. Luckily Bolton this season have been worse than average, they've been ordinary.
Verdict: 1-2
Fulham v Tottenham
Poor Harry Redknapp has had to undergo heart surgery this week, which is a fairly drastic measure to get out of having to watch Europa League football. Having had my fair share of surgery though what I want to know is how did he jump the waiting lists? I'd say he slipped someone a few quid but that's not harry's style. Still the Spurs boys will know exactly what to do to give Harry the best get well present: nip to Tescos and buy a bottle of cheap gin. And they'll probably win this match too witch might cheer him up.
Verdict: 0-2
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