Dave Pundit's Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A trip to Wembley can only mean one thing: FA Cup Final day. Or that time I went to see Celine Dion. I'll tell you what, she was so good I waited until the encore before I started throwing cups of my urine at the stage.

Liverpool v Everton
So here it is the most hotly anticipated FA Cup Final in recent history. A derby match no less. I'd say it was too close to call if it wasn't for the fact that Liverpool are head and shoulders above Everton. You only have to look at the league to see that. Liverpool are the kind of team that challenge for 4th whereas Everton are mid-table at best. Of course league form counts for nothing in these games but you can't discount the fact that the table doesn't lie, except when it puts Arsenal in 3rd because that can't be true, they've been rubbish all year. You also have to remember that Liverpool have won a cup final already this year so they know what it takes to draw this kind of game and still pick up a trophy and I can see that skill being essential here.
Verdict: 1-1 (Liverpool to win on penalties)

Tottenham v Chelsea
Wait, why are they playing other games on cup final day? I refuse to accept this. This is another shocking decision by the FA. First they don't ban Balotelli for what was a horrendous challenge on some bloke from Arsenal, studs showing, knee high, over the ball and he still couldn't break his leg. There's no place for that in football. And now this, other matches on cup final day. It's outrageous. No wonder John Terry is feigning injury and refusing to play. He's a man of true moral fibre and no mistake. In honour of his brave stand I refuse to make any more predictions.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The question of referee bias has reared it's ugly head again and I can't see what all the fuss is about, of course the big teams get all the decisions, that's how it should be. If football was meant to be fair then we wouldn't let idiots be referees. Imagine if penalties were given at Old Trafford, where would it lead? Referees giving fouls when Jamie Carragher hauls someone down in the box? English players penalised for diving? John Terry being sent off in every single match? It would be a travesty. You'd end up with a tinpot team winning the league, or worse, a foreign one like Arsenal or Swansea.

Aston Villa v Chelsea
Aston Villa this season have produced some of the dullest, most defensive, negative football I've ever seen and yet they're still languishing at the bottom of the table. There's just no justice in the world. Chelsea on the other hand have been trying to play a more fluent passing game and it's meant they're struggling to get in the top four. However John Terry's back so he'll sort them out. There won't be any passing when he's in the team. Pass is just another word for surrender and John Terry's no Frenchman. He's English. So English that he grows roses from his chest and bleeds Tetley Tea. Villa haven't got a hope here.
Verdict: 0-1

Everton v West Brom
Someone told me that David Moyes has now been at Everton for over ten years. That's quite an achievement, if he keeps this up he might even make it to a decade. The chances of Roy Hodgson staying at a club for 10 years is just ridiculous. No chairman's that stupid, not even a brummie one. He'll be gone this summer.
Verdict: 2-0

Fulham v Norwich
Both of these clubs have already done enough to keep them from the drop, not mathematically of course but that has nothing to do with football. Football isn't about numbers, it's about getting a greater amount of goals than the other team which equates to a greater accumulation of points in the league table. Where maths comes into that I just can't see it just doesn't add up. Still if either team hits a bad run of form who knows what will happen, they won't go down I don't think there's enough points to play for for that to happen but it could be close. I have no way of working these things out.
Verdict: 1-1

Man City v Sunderland
The pressure looks like it's getting to Man City and that's because of some shaky home form. It's at the part of the season when they can't afford to slip up, if you're going to slip up then you should do it early but City didn't do that, they started the season in blistering form, the fools. It's that sort of inexperience that makes me think they won't win the league this year. Next year they'll know exactly when to be rubbish and they'll do a lot better.
Verdict: 1-1

QPR v Arsenal
Djibril Cisse has been sent off twice since he joined QPR in January but even that commitment hasn't been able to stop them sliding down the table. However they should be able to stop the rot against an Arsenal side who haven't been able to find any sort of consistency this year at all and now Robin Van Persie is in the midst of a goal drought I just can't see where the goals will come from.
Verdict: 1-0

Wigan v Stoke
Wigan's win at Liverpool was the flukiest bit of flukiness since the Earl of Fluke invented fluking. Luckily luck won't have anything to do with this game. Fortune favours the brave and you don't get much braver than Tony Pulis. Who bravely sacrificed paying a speeding ticket for the people of Stoke. With any luck they'll destroy Wigan.
Verdict: 1-0

Wolves v Bolton
It's been a tough time for the Bolton players, I can remember how difficult it is to play when one of your team mates is fighting for his life. You ask yourself if there was anything you could've done, if it was in some way your fault but in the end you have to say to yourself "No. If he hadn't slept with my mother in the first place I never would've stabbed him." Wolves on the other hand have had it easy, they've just had to cope with having their strong British manager, Mick McCarthy, being replaced by some Irish man called Terry O'Connor.
Verdict: 0-2

Newcastle v Liverpool
If someone had told me at the start of the season that this would be a top of the table clash I would've laughed in their face. But that's exactly what it is. This will be an emotional return for Andy Carroll, it'll be difficult for him to play against the team that gave him his start and then allowed him the opportunity to move to the greatest team in the country. Fortunately he'll be on the bench so it won't be so bad.
Verdict: 1-2

Tottenham v Swansea
Tottenham have had a brilliant season by anyone's standards and a few games of poor form doesn't change that. A good season isn't just about how many points you score it's about being the sort of team that the media like. Harry Redknapp knows that. In fact just last week he leant out of his car window to talk to me. What a laugh we had when I had to explain I don't actually work in the McDonald's drive through I was just arguing with the manager about him refusing to allow me to add vodka to a choclolate milkshake to make a cheap White Russian.
Verdict: 2-0

Blackburn v Man Utd
It's winning these sort of games that is the true mark of a champion. Beating the dross is what it's all about. And I can't see Man Utd ever losing to Blackburn. Man Utd are Champions and have always been Champions. Blackburn are not and have never been. That's the difference. This one might be close, end of the season games are always nervy affairs, but I'm sure all the decisions will go in Man Utd's favour so they have nothing to worry about here.
Verdict: 0-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 24/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sometimes in football something happens that makes you realise that there are more important things in life than the beautiful game. Truly tragic events that unite everyone in grief. Liverpool losing 3-2 to QPR was one of those times. Thank God I've still got my booze to get me through.

Chelsea v Tottenham
What a battle this is going to be. The third best team in the league versus the fourth best team. Tottenham have the England manager in charge of them and thankfully Chelsea have seen the light and appointed an Englishman to be in charge of them. John Terry ably assisted by Frank Lampard is the dream duo. They're the most English couple since Torvill and Dean, but luckily neither of them is a giant, nappy wearing duck. For that reason alone I think John Terry will edge this one.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsenal have been poor all season and quite frankly it's far too late to turn things around now. Villa haven't been at their best all year but there's still plenty of games left for things to change and that change will start here.
Verdict: 1-2

Bolton v Blackburn
When I saw Fabrice Muamba collapse on the pitch last week I was as shocked as anyone. I've never met him, or even heard of him, but I wish him all the best in his recovery. I heard when he woke up he was speaking English and French, which must've been a bit of a worry. Hopefully he's just back to English now. Anyway Bolton have made the right decision to get back to playing football. It's what Muamba would want, I'm sure. And I think they'll win this one for him.
Verdict: 1-0

Liverpool v Wigan
Liverpool won the Carling Cup remember? That proves that they're one of the best teams in England. Proves it. Wigan have been languishing at the bottom of the table all season and I just can't see one of the best teams in England losing to a team in the relegation zone, can you?
Verdict: 2-0

Norwich v Wolves
Not enough has been said about how well Norwich have done this season. I mean it really is incredible. Now I've been criticised in the past for some apparently disparaging comments I've made about Norwich fans and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise if I've caused any offence. Luckily I don't think any of them can read so I doubt I've upset them really. Wolves have been absolutely shocking recently. I'm not sure Terry Connor is the man to manage them. Sure he was good in Terry and June but that's no basis for being a football manager is it?
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v QPR
After he was booed by his own fans Joey Barton responded by saying form is temporary, class is permanent. But he better hope QPR's form holds out because if their class kicks back in he'll be playing Championship football next season, which will be a real shame because without him the Premier League will be short one more good old fashioned midfielder who isn't afraid to put the boot in to someones face.
Verdict: 1-1

Swansea v Everton
Everton have had a bit of a slump in form recently. There's no shame to losing to Liverpool of course but to not even score against Arsenal's porous defence is a tragedy. Still they should be able to get back on track against this male voice choir masquerading as a football team.
Verdict: 0-2

Stoke v Man City
This will probably be City's toughest test in the run in and their win against Chelsea will give them a boost going into it. However I think Mancini letting Tevez back into the team is a sign of weakness. When a manager told me I was never going to play for a club again, I never played for that club again. And I respect that. He should take a leaf from Tony Pulis's book and challenge any player who disagrees with him to a fight. That'd shut them up sharpish.
Verdict: 1-1

West Brom v Newcastle
Newcastle are still pushing for a Champions League spot and though that might be a bit to much of an ask they should still be able to see off a side managed by Hodgson. This week I heard that he's been touted as a future England manager. The idea is laughable, haven't we had enough foreigners in charge of the national team? Hodgson proved at Liverpool he can't cope with the big jobs, quite frankly anyone who can't get Liverpool into the top four is a joke.
Verdict: 0-2

Man Utd v Fulham
Man Utd have hit form at just the right time and I can't see anyone catching them now. In Wayne Rooney they have easily the best striker in the country at the moment and behind him they have a wealth of good English talent like Scholes and Giggs. With those two in the team I can see them maintaining their success for years to come. Fulham will also be at this match but they might as well not bother.
Verdict: 3-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The thorny issue of goal-line technology has once again reared its head and I for one am thoroughly against it. The only thing that should break up the flow of the game is dangerous tackles and arguments with the ref. Now I know Sepp Blatter is a corrupt Belgian bureaucrat but don't forget he also said that women footballers should wear sexier clothes to get more people to watch the game so he does know what he's talking about football-wise. Anyway there are no Premier League games this week so all my predictions are for the FA cup games.

Everton v Sunderland
Ah the FA Cup, literally the greatest cup competition in the world. Second only to the World Cup in my eyes. And maybe the Carling Cup if Liverpool don't win it, but what are the chances of that happening? Anyway as far as this game goes I think only a really, really good team could beat Everton, especially 3-0. And I'm not sure Sunderland are good enough.
Verdict: 1-1

Fulham v Swansea
It's the FA Cup, for God's sake. Now I don't know what FA stands for but it certainly doesn't mean Welsh Clubs Welcome does it? Fulham will win this one but I can't see them taking much pride from beating a Welsh team in an English club competition can you?
Verdict: 2-0

Wigan v West Brom
More foreign teams ruining the glory of the FA Cup. Quite frankly it's just a shame they can't both lose. In my day cup ties were bloody battles fought to the death, whereas with these teams I can't imagine any of them being willing to die for the cause. Though I wish they all would.
Verdict: 2-2

Tottenham v Bolton
Now this is more like it. What could be more English than the England manager going head to head with whoever the Bolton manager is nowadays? Tottenham's form has been shocking recently but if you’re not up for the cup then you don't to deserve to be called a footballer. FA Cup games need to be taken seriously, that's why I had a 'no spirits' rule the night before a cup match. It was strictly beers and liqueur coffees for me.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Man Utd
Man Utd may have crashed out of the Europa League but I can see them going all the way in the FA Cup. In fact I made a large bet with Steve Claridge that they'd go all the way this season. I'll show that smug little git. Wolves on the other hand will go out here. Terry Connor was good one Take Your Pick but the FA Cup is a whole different kettle of fish.
Verdict: 0-3

Chelsea v Leicester
Now this is what the FA Cup is all about: John Terry. He showed his managerial skills against Napoli and now he can lord it over lowly Leicester too. John Terry is as English as the FA Cup itself and the FA Cup is as English as Jerusalem and Jerusalem is as English as the royal family which is as English as Great Britain itself. God Save John Terry.
Verdict: 4-0

Liverpool v Stoke
After two weeks where Liverpool didn't play at all for some reason they showed no signs of rust when Steven Gerrard single handedly destroyed Everton. Jamie Carragher has said that Stevie G is the greatest player to ever play for Liverpool and I agree, he's the white Messi, in fact he's better because Stevie will be able to do it against Stoke.
Verdict: 3-1

Newcastle v Norwich
Both these teams would love to get their hands on the cup, of course they'd have to graft an extra handle on for Norwich to do that. But to be honest I can't see Norwich beating Newcastle here, Norwich fans are all inbred weirdos whereas I don't think there's ever been a Geordie who wasn't as normal as normal could be. And I think they deserve to see their team do well even if they don't go all the way in the cup.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I don't often comment on football north of the border, mainly because it's awful. And let's face it no footballer of any note has come from there. But I was chatting to my old mate and Liverpool legend, Graeme Souness, and he was telling me about the plight of Rangers, and do you know what I say? Sod 'em. They've got themselves into this mess, they can get themselves out. They should've looked at clubs from England like Chelsea and Liverpool. You wouldn't see them being careless with money.

Bolton v QPR
This is a real six pointer. And if any teams could do with six points right now it's these two, but obviously it can only happen for one of the teams. I think Bolton will just edge it and walk away with all six points here.
Verdict: 2-1

Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa fans will be looking at the teams below them anxiously but they shouldn't worry, all the teams below them are crap. They all try and play football, but you don't get any of that sort of rubbish under McLeish. Villa will be fine. They'll probably lose here though.
Verdict: 0-1

Chelsea v Stoke
So player pressure has forced Andre Villas-Boas out of Chelsea and I say, thank God that the players knew what they were doing. When teams play badly it is always the manager's fault. You can't expect the players to play well if every time they look to the bench for some inspiration they see a ginger 12 year old Spaniard shouting at them. I mean look at it from John Terry's point of view, how embarrassing it must be to have a manager that is so clearly inferior to him in every way? Of course this means that the next manager of Chelsea would have to be John Terry himself because he's the only person in the world that is superior to John Terry. In fact John Terry is so superior to John Terry he makes John Terry look like a French man.
Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland v Liverpool
Is there a better player in the Premier League at the moment than Lee Cattermole? Yes. But that's only because John Terry exists. Cattermole has it all, he understands that tackling is a dying art form but he's a one man renaissance, not for him the new-fangled 'trying to win the ball' approach, he's an old-fashioned kill the man and worry about the consequences afterwards. This season he's been arrested and been sent off after a match has finished that's commitment that is. If I gave out awards for being the most like Dave Pundit he'd come a close runner up to me. However, Liverpool didn't play last week so they'll be fresh for this one and should win it easily.
Verdict: 1-3

Wolves v Blackburn
You have to feel for Terry Connor, he's really been thrown to the wolves. I mean sure in the future he will lead the war against the Terminators but that'll be a breeze compared to keeping Wolves up. Blackburn have shown they're up for the fight and I expect them to say hasta la vista baby to Wolves here. Only in English, obviously.
Verdict: 0-1

Everton v Tottenham
It's the sign of a good team that they can bounce back from defeats and Tottenham have proved they are a great team with their confident demolition of Stevenage. Now I have no idea where Stevenage is but it's no mean feat for a club side like Tottenham to beat any kind of national team. Hang your heads citizens of Stevenage, your entire country couldn't even beat Tottenham. Of course it helps that Tottenham do have the English manager in charge of them I suppose. They'll stuff Everton here. Everton isn't even a place let alone a country.
Verdict: 0-4

Man Utd v West Brom
West Brom have done well recently despite having a foreign manager, and it just goes to show what I always say, it doesn't matter who the manager is it's the players on the pitch that count. But beating Manchester United? Come on, the very thought is laughable. I doubt a foreign manager has ever beaten an Alex Ferguson side.
Verdict: 3-1

Swansea v Man City
Swansea beat Wigan last night which is about as interesting to me as the outcome of a civil war in a third world country. It's foreigners business what they do with their lives and I don't see why us Brits have to hear about it. I'm fed up to the back teeth of things like Comic Relief, Sport Relief and Swansea Relief quite frankly. One thing's for certain though Man City won't give them any relief here. It'll be the footballing equivalent of stealing their children and forcing them to shoot their parents. And I think that's something we can all rejoice in.
Verdict: 0-3

Norwich v Wigan
Norwich couldn't cope with the might of Stoke last week but there's no shame in that. They are fighters and they you can never accuse them of not trying. One thing's for sure Norwich will give 100% against Wigan here. Or 110% if they use all their fingers.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v Newcastle
After Arsenal's humiliating and crushing defeat in the Champions League this week confidence will be at an all time low. Whereas if Newcastle can take the momentum built in last weeks game they should be able to literally beat the crap out of the Gunners. And after that they might win the game too.
Verdict: 0-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A lot of people don't like the meaningless international friendlies but for the players there's no greater honour than playing for your country. Apart from maybe being able to install a shark tank under your kitchen floor. I myself played three times for Northern Ireland, now I may not have been born there, or even be able to find it on a map, but there was no better day for me than when I wore the green shirt. I made me so proud to be English.

Liverpool v Arsenal
Both of these teams will be on a high after last week's performances but of course Liverpool's was by far the greater achievement, managing to draw against lower league opposition after 120 minutes of football, Wembley really is Anfield South again. This game will be tough for Liverpool without Steven Gerrard, when he starts you know they're going to win, but he picked up a knock against Holland. No such problems for Arsenal, all their players are foreign so don't have to worry about international games. Luckily though Liverpool have won a trophy now so that just proves how much better than Arsenal they are.
Verdict: 3-0

Blackburn v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are struggling at the bottom of the league and the Villa fans must be getting worried that they're getting sucked into the relegation battle. But they shouldn't worry too much because they've got Big Eck. I can't see a manager of his calibre ever getting a team relegated. He's no Gerard Houillier is he? Of course Villa's job hasn't been made any easier by losing their all-English strike force of Bent and Keane but goals don't win games, determination does and as far as that goes both these teams have it in spades. Whatever the result football will be the winner. Football and Blackburn.
Verdict: 2-1

Man City v Bolton
Man City's home form this season has literally been almost perfect. 13 wins out of 13. Bolton on the other hand have been worse than Spanish lager this year. Quite frankly if it needs a lime in it then it's not worth drinking. Give me a good old fashioned British beer like Stella any day.
Verdict: 3-0

QPR v Everton
QPR have struggled this year which I just can't explain, they had the good, old-fashioned battler Neil Warnock in charge and they've replaced him with the good, old-fashioned battler Mark Hughes but it doesn't seem to have made a blind bit of difference. Going on current form Everton should walk this and only a fool would back against them, but I don't actually Everton so I'm going for a QPR win.
Verdict: 2-1

Stoke v Norwich
Tony Pulis this week claimed that the Stoke fans wouldn't allow their team to play fancy football. Well thank God for Stoke fans is all I can say, if only all fans were good, solid citizens like the Stoke boys we wouldn't have to have put up with years of fancy dan foreigners with their skill and ability ruining our league. Norwich won't win here but I think they've done enough already to stay up. They've got two feet planted firmly in the Premiership now and a couple more good results should see them able to get the last one in too.
Verdict: 2-0

West Brom v Chelsea
Andre Villas Boas has said he fears for his job, and so he should, despite the win last weekend he didn't even pick John Terry. That's a sackable offence in my book. I mean what kind of manager could leave out the one-man-spine that is John Terry? A man so British he has his own crumbling empire. A man with so much bulldog spirit that I wouldn't be surprised if his father actually was a bulldog and his mother was the heart of a lion, dipped in grit. Leaving him out of any team for any reason is tantamount to admitting you're an idiot who knows nothing about football. Talking of which Roy Hodgson got lucky last weekend against Sunderland but he won't be so lucky here.
Verdict: 1-3

Wigan v Swansea
This game makes me feel physically sick.
Verdict: 3-3

Newcastle v Sunderland
It seems ages since we had a proper derby game. And they don't get more proper than this two sets of passionate fans, two English managers and twenty-two players all vying to be the first one to get sent off. Magic. It really is too close to call this one but if I was pushed I'd have to say Newcastle could well win it but it might be a draw. Or a Sunderland win. One of those results anyway, that's as much as I can narrow it down.
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Wolves
I think Terry Connor is a very good choice of manager for Wolves. I used to love him on Crosswits. Whereas, as far as I know, Martin Jol hasn't presented any game shows. Except maybe Funhouse. Wolves to edge this one.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Man Utd
What a cracker this game will be. Harry Redknapp has had probably his toughest week of the season this week, first he lost to Arsenal and then his England team crashed against the Dutch. Ferguson has his problems from that game too after Smalling suffered a nasty gash to the head. Now I've seen a fair few nasty gashes in my time and I'm sure Smalling will be just fine after a stiff brandy. There's no need for him to get into a flap.
Verdict: 1-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees the first cup final of the season. As a boy you dreamed of playing in occasions like this. Well not exactly like this, you'd dream of the FA Cup if you were dreaming of anything, but a trophy's a trophy nonetheless and this is the reason you get into football. Well that and the booze and the women obviously.

Chelsea v Bolton
Chelsea are on a bit of a poor run at the moment and it's no coincidence that it's come when John Terry is injured. He is their rock and if you remove a rock then you lose your entire identity. Take Gibraltar for example. It's a fine, upstanding British colony but what would it be without its rock? Spanish that's what. Having said that though even the Spanish could beat this Bolton team.
Verdict: 2-0

Newcastle v Wolves
It's no surprise to me that Wolves are struggling to find a new manager, who'd choose to live in the Midlands? They need a good dependable Englishman to follow Mick McCarthy and his wayward Irish ways, it's a shame Walter Smith turned them down, he'd've been perfect. Newcastle will be far too strong for them here there far too well run a club to mess about with sacking managers half way through a season.
Verdict: 3-1

QPR v Fulham
This has to be the world's least tantalising London derby. In fact the only reason it has any spice at all is because it marks Mark Hughes's return to Craven Cottage where he left fairly inexplicably last year. Thank God for people in football doing inexplicable things eh? Without it we'd have to concentrate on what's going to happen on the pitch and that's going to be godawful quite frankly. In honour of inexplicability I'm going to go and kill and eat a pony.
Verdict: 3-3

West Brom v Sunderland
Sunderland did everyone a favour and knocked Arsenal out of the FA Cup last week and hopefully they can kick seven bells out of West Brom's resident foreigner Roy Hodgson too. I have to say one foreigner did impress me for Sunderland against Arsenal though, that Sebastian Larsson looked pretty good. I bet Arsenal wish they could produce players of his quality.
Verdict: 0-1

Wigan v Aston Villa
Thank God it looks like Wigan are going down. That'll teach them for hiring a French manager. Villa have had a few problems recently but I expect them to get a good win here and give Robbie Keane the send off he deserves. He's proved it doesn't matter how old you are if you're British you're still good enough.
Verdict: 1-2

Man City v Blackburn
The Tevez saga seems to have come to an end and I can say with my hand on heart, thank the Lord that it has. If I'd been forced to see his face splashed all over the papers one more time I might have literally been physically sick. Still now he's back he should help them be able to win ugly. Not that they'll need to against Blackburn of course. Steve Kean is a much better manager than he gets credit for but there's no way he could ever get his team to beat one of the top four.
Verdict: 3-0

Arsenal v Tottenham
This game is all about one thing and one thing only bragging rights and points on the board. Of course Tottenham will be bragging that they've got the England manager as there boss and even though he took some time out to pick the England squad this week I'm sure he's fully focused on Spurs right now. Whatever the result here you can't deny that Redknapp is a far more successful manager than Wenger will ever be.
Verdict: 1-2

Norwich v Man Utd
I think Norwich have surprised many people with how good they've been this season. They've dipped their toe into the waters of the Premiership and decided they liked the temperature so they've plunged the other five toes in too. And all credit to them. They'll still get destroyed by Man Utd though.
Verdict: 0-3

Stoke v Swansea
Thank God Rory Delap's red card has been lifted in time for this game. Until now I thought he was purely a long throw expert but it looks like he can also put in a proper leg breaking tackle too. And if every their was a game where you'd want the Stoke players to break some opposition legs it's this one. Do the Welsh even have legs?
Verdict: 2-0

Cardiff City v Liverpool
It is a travesty that Cardiff are even allowed in this, or any other competition. They're not British and they're not even in the Premier League, why do they exist? Luckily they're facing the mighty Liverpool, who'll show those Welsh bastards who's boss. I predict a Craig Bellamy hat-trick to prove that England is, and always will be, superior to Wales.
Verdict: 0-4

Dave Pundit's Predictions 11/02/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It's been quite a week in football, what with Capello resigning and all, and I must say I think the FA have handled this appallingly. I understand the need to crack down on racism but to crack down on John Terry is just ridiculous. That said, I'm glad to see the back of Capello, we need an Englishman in the England job, and hopefully the FA will do the right thing and get Harry Redknapp in. It'll be nice to see the FA's money going into an English bank account for once.

Man Utd v Liverpool
What a game to start the weekend with; the biggest local derby in football. If ever there was a game to wash away the bad taste of all the racism scandals surrounding football at the moment it's this one. There won't be a hint of it here. Just the two best teams in the land going toe-to-toe. The big question is can De Gea withstand the onslaught from the likes of Downing, Carroll and Henderson? The answer is: possibly. But maybe not.
Verdict: 1-1

Blackburn v QPR
It shows you how deep in the mire Blackburn are when they concede seven goals to a mediocre team like Arsenal. Luckily QPR aren't anywhere near good enough to be mediocre yet, they're distinctly average. However I think Mark Hughes could well push them up the league he's got the requisite English grit there's no doubt about it. Plus the signing of Bobby Zamora: the new Geoff Hurst will be a boost. This one will be close but I think Blackburn will edge it.
Verdict: 2-1

Bolton v Wigan
Bolton are an interesting team, sometimes I think they could be a gritty powerhouse of a team like Stoke, they held on to Kevin Davies in the transfer window and he's guaranteed to elbow a few defenders of the park so they obviously have that about them but then they go and sell Gary Cahill and replace him with a Yank. What do Americans know about defence? They can't even pronounce it. Wigan on the other hand aren't interesting at all. In fact the only interesting thing I can think of to do with Wigan is that I have no idea what a Latic is. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned nicknames? Things like The Reds or The Blues or The Mauves? Probably some kind of politically correct uprising from colourblind people has made them illegal or something.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Chelsea
People have questioned whether John Terry will be able to focus on football with a court case looming over him but people forget that he is a rock. Negative thoughts can't penetrate his granite skull. Nothing penetrates that skull. He may no longer be the England captain but he will always be a leader of men armband or no armband. He reminds me of me, I was never the captain of any of the clubs I played for but I was still a leader on and off the pitch, the only thing I need armbands for is swimming.
Verdict: 0-2

Fulham v Stoke
Hopefully this will be a real game for the purists. Lots of pure violence and not much fancy pants passing and movement. It's been a long time since we've seen a real leg breaking challenge, I don't know if it's because defenders are too scared to get stuck in or that attackers aren't putting their legs in the way as much as they used to but I'm hoping for all that to change here. Of course with Fulham having a foreigner in charge it's unlikely but if Pulis has got any sense he'll scythe Jol down on the sidelines just to show his boys the way forward.
Verdict: 0-1

Sunderland v Arsenal
It's not often I say this about an Arsenal player but I do like the look of young Oxlade-Chamberlain, he may be young but he looks strong as an Ox. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if the Arsenal fans start giving him the nickname horse or something. Then again the French eat horses don't they? It's also great timing for him to break through now while Arsenal are on the slide because hopefully Wenger will get the sack and he won't get turned into some kind of skillful winger and ruin all his brute charm. I'm not sure he'll be enough to make the difference against a Martin O'Neill team though he's never needed skill to get his teams playing well.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Norwich
If anywhere can rival Norwich for inbred, animal shaggers it's Wales. But at least Norwich are good old-fashioned English inbred animal shaggers. And I for one would rather have my inbreds in the country pissing out rather outside the country pissing in. Especially as they probably have four cocks or something.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Newcastle
Thank God the courts saw sense and found Redknapp not guilty. I mean what is the world coming to when one man can't give another man £180 grand, put it into an off-shore account and then not get their story straight about what the money was for without raising suspicion? Still at least Redknapp can concentrate on football without any other distractions for a while. This could well be a corking game, Newcastle have been playing well all season and I definitely think if Redknapp turns down the England job then Pardew should get it. I can't see him passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.
Verdict: 1-1

Wolves v West Brom
There seems to be a Midlands derby every other week at the moment, it's getting dull quite frankly. Let's hope one of these teams, preferably the foreigner managed West Brom, can get relegated and reduce the number of Midland derbies in the top league. I for one think it would be far more preferable if we saw the likes of West Ham, Southampton or Birmingham come back up instead.
Verdict: 2-0

Aston Villa v Man City
Aston Villa have to make the most of having Robbie Keane for a couple more games because they'll miss his English grit when it's gone. Now call me crazy, and many psychiatrists have although few of them have walked away afterwards, but I think Villa will edge this one, they just have too much Englishity to be blown apart by some rich foreigners. Rain or shine England keeps going. Unless it snows.
Verdict: 1-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/02/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Thank God the transfer window has slammed shut, I can't be doing with all that 'this teams after that player' nonsense and all the breaking news, dear God. The only breaking news I'm interested in is when it's referring to some fragile foreigner's leg.

Arsenal v Blackburn
Arsenal have been pretty lucky this year, they're full of foreigners who can't take a two footed tackle without snapping a fibula but somehow they've still managed to climb their way up to seventh. Luckily we all know their season falls apart in February so I expect Blackburn to batter them here.
Verdict: 0-2

Norwich v Bolton
On one hand Norwich have had a fantastic season so far but on the other hand the job isn't finished yet and on the other hand Norwich have been very good at home but on the the other hand Bolton are improving rapidly. It's a tough one to call this one but I think Norwich might just have the upper hand.
Verdict: 1-0

QPR v Wolves
This is one of those games that when you look at it you assume it's actually a League One match and someone's written the fixture list down wrong. But apparently they are both in the Premier League. Luckily with Mick McCarthy and Mark Hughes at the helm there won't be anyone attempting to play Premier League football. This should be a good old fashioned street fight, and that's what football is all about.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v Sunderland
Now THIS is a Premier League game. Martin O'Neill's Sunderland are resurgent like an unstoppable force but they're coming up against the immovable object of Stoke at home. Neither team will give an inch and this entire game will end up being a bloodbath in the centre circle. I'm literally wetting my proverbial pants in excitement.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Swansea
One of these teams is foreign and the other is managed by a foreigner who can barely speak the Queen's English. Y'know it's, like, a tragedy that footy, like, has come to this I tells you. If I could summon up the ability to care I'd probably say this will be some kind of horrendous high scoring draw with a load of goal mouth action and pleasant passages of passing play. Horrific.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Everton
It's looking very bleak for Wigan and we can only hope it looks even bleaker after this fixture. I have nothing against the club per se but they've made their bed by hiring a foreigner and now they have to lie in it. C'est la vie as they say. I personally would never have anything to do with anything that wasn't 100% English. That's why I like David Moyes so much he may be at the club on the wrong side of Liverpool but he knows how to get a team to grind their way through a season.
Verdict: 0-1

Man City v Fulham
Despite losing in midweek I can't see Man City slipping up here. They are far superior to Fulham especially since Fulham have sold the future of English football, Bobby Zamora. It's a ridiculous decision from a manager who might fool some people with his English sounding first name, but he's not fooling me.
Verdict: 3-0

Newcastle v Aston Villa
Newcastle have been playing brilliantly this year, and I can see them getting another good result here. Despite Villa's strong English spine of Dunne, Ireland and Keane they don't seem to have gelled as a team under Alex McLeish. It's probably because he's ginger.
Verdict: 2-1

Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is a real humdinger. Man Utd are once again pushing for the title but going to Chelsea is never easy. I think it's perfectly fair that John Terry's court date has been postponed, if you can't circumvent the law when your the England captain then when can you? People think John Terry might be off his game because of it but as far as I'm concerned he has nothing to worry about, he's as right as right can be and this case will prove that. He'll come out of it whiter than white I'm sure.
Verdict: 1-1

Liverpool v Tottenham
It doesn't get much better than this, two great clubs going for it hammer and tongs. Tottenham sitting in third literally couldn't be better placed and Liverpool are on the up and challenging for fourth, what a top of the table clash this could be. Of course Harry Redknapp has his own off the pitch troubles and I feel for him, I really do. I personally never got big lumps of cash of anyone when I was playing so I don't know what it's like but I remember seeing Bruce Grobbelaar after some guy had paid a massive chunk into his bank account once and he really struggled to play well the next game, threw away two stupid goals as I recall. It's funny what a bit of cash does for your mental state. So this is really the wrong time for him to be facing King Kenny, the finest manager this country has ever produced.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/01/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The transfer window is really hotting up now, with rumours flying and players swapping clubs like they're Top Trump cards. It really is an exciting time of the year unless of course, like me, you remember a time when there was no transfer window and see this time as some kind of foreign abomination. Hopefully we can see some foreigners shipped out during January.

Norwich v Chelsea
Gary Cahill has signed for Chelsea and I think that's a great move for him. He can learn from the master himself, John Terry. There's no doubt Cahill is a raw talent, he has pace, mobility and technical prowess and hopefully under the tutelage of the Englishman's Englishman he'll be able to lose all those and rely on grit and reputation alone. Carrow Road is a difficult place to go, the crowd often become the 12th man for Norwich and when you combine that with the 12 fingers and toes that they all have it gives them quite an advantage, but if anyone can cope Terry-Cahill can.
Verdict: 1-2

Everton v Blackburn
Both teams could really do with a win here, Everton are in a run of indifferent form and are looking distinctly average, Blackburn have looked a little better than average recently but that still only makes them poor. So they'll both have to go for it here. Let's hope it lives up to everyone's expectations.
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Newcastle
Newcastle proved they are ready to make the step up to the big time last week, if a 1-0 win over QPR where they barely had a shot on target other than the goal doesn't show that I don't know what does. Alan Pardew is a British manager with pedigree he's managed sleeping giants Southampton, Charlton and West Ham whereas Martin Jol has never managed a big club. Pardew's class will show through here.
Verdict: 0-2

QPR v Wigan
Mark Hughes will want to bring some fresh ideas to QPR and after getting his first win under his belt in the FA Cup this week he'll want his players to literally kick on against Wigan, Wigan are one of those teams that have to be playing well to win and I don't think there's any place for that in the Premier League. If I wanted to see teams play well I'd move to Spain.
Verdict: 1-0

Stoke v West Brom
There's no issues about Stoke playing well. They wouldn't know how if they tried, which they don't. They play a game based on brute strength, attrition and rugby style punts up the park. If that's not what football's about then my name's not Dave Pundit. Which it is. It's on my birth certificate right next to father unknown.
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v Swansea
The sooner Scotland breaks away from Britain the better, then we can get rid of Wales too. England should be England as far as I'm concerned and all the other countries in Britain are just moochers that are good for nothing. Let's hope that fine upstanding Brit Martin O'Neill can see off these Welshies for good.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Aston Villa
I love a good derby game and I can't see this being anything other than a good derby game. Two mid-to-low table teams kicking lumps out of each other in the middle of the park while both goalies stand idle, thinking of their half time fag. Just like the good old days. It's always tough going up against your bitterest rivals and unless you count West Brom and Birmingham then there are no bitterer when it comes to the Midlands. And let's face it, who counts West Brom and Birmingham?
Verdict: 0-0

Bolton v Liverpool
Gone are the glory days for Bolton. It's all been downhill since Gary Megson left. Liverpool will have one eye on the Carling Cup but even with one eye on that they could beat Bolton with one eye closed and both hands tied behind their back. And knowing the FA that's probably exactly how they'd like to see Liverpool play, it's a conspiracy I tell you. What possible other reason could there be for Liverpool's lack of trophies recently?
Verdict: 0-3

Man City v Tottenham
When Mancini started waving that imaginary card at the ref I lost all respect for him, that's just not the way we do things in England, if you want a player sent off then you ask your most English player to have a word with the ref, and if that doesn't work then the whole team should surround him and shout abuse in his face until he relents. Waving a card around is just unsportsmanlike. Luckily everything Harry Redknapp does is above board and without reproach so I'm going to plump for Tottenham here.
Verdict: 1-2

Arsenal v Man Utd
Arsenal will be seeking revenge for their 8-2 drubbing at Old Trafford earlier in the season but they'll be lucky if they escape this game with a point. If they can't even cope with Swansea how will they fare when they come up against Man Utd? It speaks volumes that Arsenal are relying on a has-been like Henry to keep them going. Man Utd have the quality of players like Ferdinand and Scholes to call on here and they'll walk this one. That said I can't see this being another 10 goal thriller!
Verdict: 4-6

Dave Pundit's Predictions 14/01/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people asked why I didn't make any predictions for the FA Cup, well the truth is I've fallen out of love with the cup, the romance has gone. Nowadays there doesn't seem to be any of the old magic. Where are the ding dong battles between rivals? The dubious sendings off? The memorable goals? The cameos from players long since thought past it? Or lower league teams knocking out Premier League clubs? None of that happens anymore.

Aston Villa v Everton
I think the signing of Keane was a canny one for Villa. Yes he's been playing abroad but that won't have knocked the British grit out of him. He'll be up for this, an old-fashioned mid-table clashes where neither team is in any real danger of relegation but are unlikely to be getting a European place either. In my day these were ten-a-penny, turgid, dull affairs with little passion aside from the odd nasty tackle or personal grudge. Thank God those glorious days aren't gone completely eh?
Verdict: 0-0

Blackburn v Fulham
Fulham destroyed Arsenal in their last Premier League match but this won't be such an easy ride for them, Blackburn aren't some pansy bunch of foreigners you know. Blackburn are British through and through. Except for their owners I suppose. But their manager is Scottish and I can't see Scotland becoming a separate country any time soon so that's something. Fulham on the other hand have a foreign manager but a good old British owner. What's more British than Harrods? This one'll have to be a draw.
Verdict: 1-1

Chelsea v Sunderland
It's no surprise to me that Martin O'Neill has got Sunderland playing well, what sets him apart from his predecessor is that O'Neill learnt his trade under Brian Clough, a true legend of the game. If only Steve Bruce had a role model of that ilk he might have made a better fist of management. Sunderland will still lose here though. They may be good but being good will only get you so far. John Terry didn't get where he is today by being good.
Verdict: 2-0

Liverpool v Stoke
This really is a clash of the Titans. But with Stevie G back and at his brilliant best for Liverpool there can only be one winner here. He's the sort of player that really gets the team running hard, chasing his passes, having to control his Hollywood balls, you can't relax when Gerrard's on your team, oh no. He's the sort of guy who can pump the ball 50 yards upfield and make things happen, Stoke don't have anything to match that I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-0

Man Utd v Bolton
It's the sign of a good team that they can play badly and win and Man Utd are masters at it. Whereas Bolton this year are only half way there. I think United's win against City in the cup will be a real shot in the arm, especially as they now have a derby game in the next round to look forward to, which should finally bring some excitement to the cup. I can't see Bolton getting anything here.
Verdict: 3-1

Tottenham v Wolves
I've just been watching an interview with the Wolves owner Steve Morgan which was really encouraging. They asked Morgan why he never comes out and talks about his manager Mick McCarthy and he said: "Why would I want to do that and destabilise the club?" I think he was right to come out and talk about not coming out. It's difficult for a manager when your Chairman comes out, you just have to bend over and take it, so kudos to Mr Morgan for not coming out. Still he can not come out all he likes; it won't stop Wolves getting a good, hard rogering from Tottenham here.
Verdict: 3-0

West Brom v Norwich
This is a hard one to predict. Mainly because I couldn't care less about it.
Verdict: 1-2

Newcastle v QPR
I think it's a real shame that Neil Warnock got sacked, he was a proper English manage in this league full of foreigners. It's a crying shame that one of them didn't get the sack instead. Warnock didn't waste time with all that tactical nous and training he just shouted at his players and told them they were crap. That's what man-management is all about. Hopefully Mark Hughes will carry on his sterling work. It's always a lift for the players when a new boss comes in so I can see QPR getting something here.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Arsenal
You have to ask yourself where the goals are going to come from for Arsenal. They just have no pedigree up front. Swansea aren't a good team, they're Welsh, but even they are more British than Arsenal. I just can't see this being a game worth watching at all I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Man City
Do you know what I hate about Martinez? He's always whinging and moaning about things. He should take a leaf from Mancini's book, things are tough for the Man City manager right now, a loss of form, a threadbare squad and the realisation that they're no match for the mighty Liverpool have all knocked him for six but do you hear him moan about his lot? No. Let's hope the best man wins this one.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/12/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I hate New Year's Eve. The pubs are packed with amateur drinkers, you have to pay to go into the same pub you've been drinking in for free all year and you can never get to the toilet because of all the twelve year old chavs snorting washing powder off the seats and thinking they're getting a real buzz. Listen to me, I sound like someone off that Grumpy Old Men programme, I hate that programme. It's just a bunch of old farts with no real problems pretending to hate stuff for a cheap laugh.

Liverpool v Newcastle
Poor old Liverpool, they're being persecuted from all sides at the minute. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only pundit who is on their side. It seems to me like the FA have got it in for Liverpool, they're trying to stop us being successful, give some other teams a chance to win something for once I guess. Still they won't stop us winning this match, Andy Carroll will want to show Newcastle what they're missing, they've struggled to replace the goals that he gets that's for sure.
Verdict: 2-0

Man United v Blackburn
It doesn't seem that long ago that people were writing off Man Utd's chances of winning the league and yet if they get even a point here they'll be top of the tree come the new year. It just goes to show that you can never, ever write Man Utd off and anyone who does is an idiot. They're unwriteoffable. They're just too good to write off. They won't win the league, obviously, but they'll destroy Blackburn.
Verdict: 4-0

Arsenal v QPR
Arsenal's season has really come off the rails in the last few weeks, they lost 1-0 to Man City and then could only manage a 1-1 against Wolves. They're shipping in goals left, right and centre. Quite frankly it's a lack of proper centre backs if you ask me. They're all about that attacking and flowing football and trying to win games nonsense. If it was up to me I'd play four centre backs in every game, but that's not the Arsenal way. QPR will probably only play two centre backs as well, but at least they might be English.
Verdict: 1-2

Bolton v Wolves
This is a fixture to die for. And I imagine someone of the players will literally die out there. Both teams are struggling for form and both teams would've hoped to avoid a relegation battle this season but they've been sucked in to one and it'll be a real dogfight to survive. This'll be an ugly, violent battle against two teams who look like they barely even know how to play the game, let alone play it well. This is the game of the weekend.
Verdict: 0-0

Chelsea v Aston Villa
This season has been a bit stop start for Chelsea but that's what you get when you make a twelve year old Spaniard your manager. Luckily they have a true leader in John Terry, the most English man since Braveheart. Villa on the other hand are led by some Scotsman. I mean I like the Scotch people, they make good whisky and they like a drink but ultimately they're still a bunch of skirt wearing pansies.
Verdict: 2-0

Norwich v Fulham
I used to know a fantastic footballer from Norwich. He had everything, pace, power and ability and he was two footed. Both of them right. They don't make players like that anymore though. I don't even know if any of the Norwich team are even from Norwich, but then I don't even know any of the Norwich team. Or the Fulham one. This'll probably be a draw I guess.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v Wigan
It's games like this that make me sad. Only one of these teams will come and play football while the other team will be trying to kick lumps out of the opposition and hoofing the ball up field. Why can't we just go back to the days when both teams were hoofing it? Let's hope the right team wins here.
Verdict: 1-0

Swansea v Tottenham
Tottenham's title challenge doesn't show any signs of slowing down and I can't see them losing against a bunch of leek eaters. Quite frankly the Welsh have never produced a footballer of any note. I reckon Gareth Bale will put at least three past them.
Verdict: 0-4

West Brom v Everton
The Everton fans have been protesting against Bill Kenwright but he's an Evertonian through and through so you can see why they don't trust him. To be honest I'm surprised the West Brom fans haven't protested against Roy Hodgson yet, but then they are Brummies so they're used to people speaking unintelligibly at them. They probably think Hodgson is English or something! Still I think Everton will give them something to complain about here.
Verdict: 0-2

Sunderland v Man City
Martin O'Neill has done wonders in his short time at Sunderland. It wouldn't surprise me if he told Bendtner and Cattermole to get nicked. Nothing spurs a team on like having a couple of your players arrested. I used to get arrested on a regular basis when I was at Tranmere and every time I was banged up their results improved dramatically. At one point the gaffer was trying to fit me up for a murder charge to get me sent away for years. Only one team is going to get murdered here though, and it's not Man City.
Verdict: 0-3

Dave Pundit's Festive Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Or should I say ho ho ho, I'm Dave Pundit? Is there anything more British than Christmas? Christmas Trees, Candy Canes and the birth of Jesus it's like the history of England all in one day. I used to love training on Christmas Day, it's the only day of the year that everyone was as drunk as me. Plus it meant I didn't have to spend Christmas with my mum and two sisters. Ho ho ho.

Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games are always the toughest games to predict without exception. Except this one. Fulham are rubbish and Chelsea have John Terry. He may have the Metropolitan Police breathing down his neck but if anything it'll make him play better. He's faced controversy before but he always comes out of it whiter than white. He'll do the same here trust me.
Verdict: 3-0

Bolton v Newcastle
Bolton had a vital win against Blackburn but they really need to put some kind of run together now but they'll struggle against Newcastle. The Toon Army may be in freefall but the league table doesn't lie and they're literally the 7th best team in the league right now. I'd put my house on this game if it wasn't for the fact that I exchanged it with a bloke down the pub for five pound coins for the fruit machine. Worth it though I got a jackpot repeater.
Verdict: 0-1

Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool have come in for a lot of stick for their support of Luis Suarez but personally I think they were right to do it. If possible King Kenny has gone up in my estimation. He's like a double king now. King King Kenny. With KKK behind them, Liverpool will be on fire against Blackburn. They'll literally burn the blacks.
Verdict: 4-0

Man Utd v Wigan
Man Utd have started to hit a purple patch of form and there won't be any chancing of them slipping up here, no matter how icy it gets over Christmas. The very thought of Wigan getting any points at all against a side who are aiming for the top four is laughable. Ho ho ho.
Verdict: 3-1

Sunderland v Everton
What a Christmas cracker this game will be. Both sides have struggled this year but Martin O'Neill and David Moyes are two of the top managers in the league, they'll know that football isn't about playing well it's about grit, determination and being able to win ugly. In fact I doubt they know how to win any other way. It's just a shame that there can only be one winner here.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Man City
To be honest Man City are so much better than West Brom it's not even worth making a prediction for this match, so I won't.
Verdict: 0-2

Stoke v Aston Villa
It's all been going wrong for Villa and it's difficult to see why. They've got a dour, sub-standard manager, they play defensive, ugly football regardless of the situation and they're full of mediocre players that you wouldn't remember if they punched you in the face. I can't see why they're not doing better, it's always worked wonders for Stoke.
Verdict: 1-0

Arsenal v Wolverhampton
If Robin Van Persie beats Alan Shearer's record for goals in a calendar year I'll eat my hat. It would be a travesty to end all travesties. We can't have a foreigner scoring more goals than Shearer. To make matters worse Van Persie isn't even a striker, I can't believe no ones pointed this out but to me he's more of a number 10. Shearer was a proper number 9. Nine is greater than ten, you just can't dispute that. Let's hope Wolves can do their British duty here.
Verdict: 0-1

Swansea v QPR
Poor QPR having to spend Christmas in Wales. Do they even celebrate Christmas there? Maybe but they probably call it Llanleekmas or something. I mean what's the deal with Wales having two languages anyway? Does Scotland have two languages? Does Ireland have two languages? No, the only otherpeople in Britain that have two languages is Cockneys, and why would you want to be like that bunch of berks?
Verdict: 0-2

Norwich v Tottenham
It's come to my attention that I have been using offensive terms when talking about Norwich games. I unreservedly apologise for any offence caused – this was never my intention. I'm not the sort of person who says things just to be offensive. I'm not like the likes of Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr or The Dalai Lama. Anyway back to the football, Tottenham will walk this one, that big, coloured chap they've got up front is scoring for fun at the moment.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 20/12/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sorry for the lack of predictions at the weekend, I was rushed into hospital with suspected hypergonadism. Turns out it was just bruising from where I keep on sitting on myself. I've never felt more proud to be Britih when my doctor told me I had whacking great long balls.

Blackburn v Bolton
Talking of whacking great long balls lets hope we see a load of them here tonight. Sadly Scott Dann is injured, he'd be ideal to smash a ball upfield. Rumour has it that this could be Kean's last game in charge which I think is a shame, say what you like about Kean; that he's blind to everything going on at his club, that he couldn't manage for toffee and that his face is too small for his head but at least he's brought consistency to Blackburn. Bolton too have been very consistent this year but they can't both lose can they?
Verdict: 0-2

Wolverhampton v Norwich
Mick McCarthy is another manager under pressure and a win against Norwich here would certainly relieve the strain somewhat. I doubt Norwich fans will mind what the result is, they're just one big happy family down there.
Verdict: 1-0

Aston Villa v Arsenal
Aston Villa are very much a work in progress at the moment they've shown flashes of brilliance from the likes of Agbonlahor and Bent but Alex McLeish is slowly but surely managing to stifle that side of things and has them playing dour, defensive football with no attacking desire whatsoever. Good on you, ginge! Arsenal, of course, wouldn't know how to play dour football if their lives depended on it, and if I had my way it would.
Verdict: 0-0

Man City v Stoke
City did everyone a favour and ended Arsenal's unbeaten run at the weekend. City showed that just because you have a foreign manager and foreign owners doesn't mean you can't have a good English spine of Lescott, Milner and Hargreaves. They are the embodiment of how a big club should be run. Stoke will give City a far sterner test than Arsenal ever could but Stoke away is no Stoke at home.
Verdict: 2-1

Newcastle v West Brom
Newcastle have had a bit of a slump recently and it looks like they may struggle to end up in the top four. Still Newcastle fans are renowned for being sensible so I'm sure they'll understand that these things happen. Luckily they've got an excellent board behind them so I'm sure things will pick up soon, starting here against West Brom. Who's board clearly know nothing about the game otherwise they'd've never hired Roy Hodgson.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Swansea
I think it's obvious that David Moyes needs to splash the cash in January and I think he will. Before that though they should be able to beat Swansea. They may be Wales' finest but that's not much of a boast. It's a bit like saying you're the least shouty tourette's sufferer. No such problems at Everton, thank God.
Verdict: 2-0

Fulham v Man Utd
People say United haven't been in great form this season but they're still right up there at the top of the table. It's the sign of a good team that can play badly and still win, but they'll have to watch themselves, they've been playing better recently and I'm not sure playing well and winning is a sign of anything. I imagine they'll be bloody awful against Fulham though.
Verdict: 0-3

QPR v Sunderland
A couple of Sunderland players were arrested this week for causing criminal damage. Bendtner I expected it of, he's foreign. But Cattermole must have been led astray, I mean what possible need would he have to go out and break things when he's been doing it on the football pitch for years? He needs to buck up his ideas and get back to shattering foreigners legs if you ask me. Do QPR have any foreigners? I don't know and nor do I care.
Verdict: 1-1

Wigan v Liverpool
Wigan got lucky against Chelsea due to a goalkeeping error but you can't ever see Reina making one of those. Not with King Kenny behind him. Let's not forget he used to manage Bruce Grobelaar, and there was a keeper you could rely on. But to be honest I doubt Wigan will even get a sniff at goal in this match they'll be too busy defending against the might of Henderson, Downing and Carroll. This'll be a goalfest.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Chelsea
As Winston Churchill once said: "And now we're standing face to face, isn't this world a crazy place, just when I thought our chance had passed you go and save the best for last." He was quite a singer was our Winston. But this is clearly the big match of the week. 3rd vs 4th it doesn't come any bigger than that. It's literally a top of the table clash. The might of John Terry versus the wiles of Harry Redknapp, the British Bulldog spirit of Sir Jonathan of Terrence versus the Old English Sheepdog smarts of Lord 'Arry. It brings tear to the eye just thinking about it. But then, I did just sit down a bit too quick. They'll be talking about this match for years to come.
Verdict: 0-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/12/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. When Jay Spearing got sent off last week Gary Neville got it spot on when he said 20 years ago that wouldn't even have been a foul. What he didn't mention was that 30 years ago the gaffer would've fined you a weeks wages for a tackle like that. Both feet off the ground and you still didn't break his legs? You're obviously not working hard enough in training.

Arsenal v Everton
Everton have struggled this season but this game should be a breeze, Arsenal were a shambles in midweek, quite frankly it's teams like Arsenal that are destroying England's reputation in Europe. If a Greek team can put three past them a Scouse team can get a shed load, even if they are the wrong kind of Scouse.
Verdict: 0-4

Bolton v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are in a patch of bad form at the moment that few would've predicted at the start of the season but, as they say, class is temporary, form is permanent, so I guess they'll both get relegated. I can't see this ending in anything but a draw.
Verdict: 0-1

Liverpool v QPR
The needless persecution of Liverpool continues with Suarez up on a charge for giving the crowd the finger. I think it's ridiculous the amount of abuse the players get it's not surprising they retaliate. I mean I can't even count the amount of times I fingered some bloke in the crowd. Once a week I'd imagine. I doubt that gesture even means the same in Paraguayan anyway. Unless the powers that be decide otherwise Liverpool should win this one.
Verdict: 2-0

Man Utd v Wolves
United were desperately unlucky in Europe this week, but the nation should still be proud of the fight they put up, they're a young team and those sort of games are a great learning experience. But, as Winston Churchill said, you can't win anything with kids. Still they'll get back on track here, Wolves are an inferior outfit and Man Utd just don't lose to lesser opposition.
Verdict: 3-1

Norwich v Newcastle
Newcastle have a tough run of games and I think they could struggle here too. The atmosphere at Carrow Road is intimidating to say the least, all those extra fingers makes the clapping much louder. Last time I was there I sat in the family section and that was bad enough, although in fairness the family section is the entire stadium.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Fulham
People have accused me of being anti-Wales, nothing could be further from the truth it's far better than any foreign country, it's just my least favourite part of England. London comes a close second of course but in this game London just pips it.
Verdict: 0-1

West Brom v Wigan
It sounds like this game should be woeful. Full of dreary football, bad challenges and hoofed clearances, but no, both teams had to ruin it and hire foreigners who like to play "football" didn't they?
Verdict: 2-2

Sunderland v Blackburn
Now this is more like it! Neither of these teams have come close to playing "football" all season. Wonderful. When Sunderland sacked Bruce I worried they'd go down the foreigner route but no they've backed British. Well Irish really, but that's close enough. This will be a corker, trust me.
Verdict: 0-0

Stoke v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp won the manager of the month award for November, not bad considering he was off sick for two weeks. You wouldn't get a foreigner doing that, they just haven't got the heart. However if there's any team in the land that can stop Tottenham's charge it's Stoke. I'm not sure Tottenham have anyone can deal with Stoke's long balls. Not since Jenas left anyway.
Verdict: 1-0

Chelsea v Man City
Man City's foreign invasion ends here. They may have beaten all comers so far but they can't compete with John Terry, he's the bravest, truest, most honest-to-goodness English man since Richard the Lionheart. He wouldn't stand for invading someone else's country either. Chelsea will show Man City you can't buy the Premier League title.
Verdict: 2-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/12/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a sad week in football this week with the shock news of Gary Speed's untimely death. Depression is a terrible thing and at least in my day we had booze to silence the screaming voices in our heads, nowadays modern footballers aren't even allowed that. Rest in peace, Gary Speed, a model pro and one of the Premier League's true legends. I'm just amazed he never got an England call up.

Newcastle v Chelsea
Some of the furore around John Terry seems to have died down this week thanks partly to a ranting woman on a tram becoming the new figurehead for racism, but like John Terry I think she's been harshly judged. Surely advising people to move out of Croydon is just good common sense. Hopefully Chelsea can get their season back on track here against a Newcastle side who have proved they can't get a result against the top four teams in the last few weeks.
Verdict: 0-2

Blackburn v Swansea
It's the time of the season when the managerial merry go round starts but Steve Kean is safe as houses. Blackburn may be in dire straits at the moment but despite that I really can't see them losing here. They may be awful, but Blackburn could put out a reserve side here and play like they don't care about the Premier League and they'd still win. Their brute, English strength will always be better than anything Wales can throw at them.
Verdict: 1-0

Man City v Norwich
City have taken on all comers and won this season and I think it would be a stupid man who'd predict anything but a win for them here. And I'm not a stupid man. I think Man City will get a hatful here, but Norwich should just about be good enough to keep it to a score they can count on the fingers of one hand.
Verdict: 6-0

QPR v West Brom
QPR have done alright in since their promotion and I think they'll have enough to beat West Brom here, it could be a different story in January when I think they'll have a job keeping their star players. I've been impressed with Joey Barton, I think if he cut out some of the fancy passing and ball control and concentrated on being a bit more of a thug he could go far. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Newcastle made a bid for him.
Verdict: 2-1

Tottenham v Bolton
Harry Redknapp believes Spurs can go on and win the title, and if that happens then Harry should get a big, fat bonus from the chairman. Spurs have such a strong squad at the moment, he could probably play a bunch of kids and still beat all but the best teams in the world. Bolton on the other hand have become a shadow of their former selves under Owen Coyle. His insistence on trying to play football is at odds with everything Bolton stands for, the managerial merry go round has begun and he's well and truly on it.
Verdict: 2-0

Wigan v Arsenal
If there's one team that typifies everything that's wrong with having a foreign manager it's Wigan and also Arsenal. The managerial merry go round is spinning now and Martinez must be feeling dizzy. As Winston Churchill said "stop the world i want to get off." I bet that's how the Wigan manager feels right now, except Martinez is nothing like Winston Churchill, I bet he's never fought a German in his life. Arsene Wenger on the other hand probably doesn't even know where Germany is. If either team wins this game it's football that loses.
Verdict: 2-2

Aston Villa v Manchester United
Alex Ferguson said that the team that lost against Crystal Palace wasn't a Man Utd side. Which is odd. I'm surprised the United bosses let Ferguson manage another team to be honest. Still I'm sure we'll see a United team this week. A proper one with a British spine and an English collarbone and grit and determination running throughout. Man Utd are literally the living embodiment of England. Villa are ok, but they'd be better if they didn't have a Scotchman in charge. And a ginger one at that.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Stoke
Stoke will be on a high after qualifying for the next round of the Europa League. A lot of people think it's a pointless competition but any chance we get to prove that good old fashioned English football is far better than the technical, tactically astute rubbish they play on the continent is a good thing if you ask me. I can't see how Stoke's brilliant form in Europe won't translate to the league here.
Verdict: 0-1

Wolves v Sunderland
Sunderland set the managerial merry go round in motion this week when they sacked Steve Bruce, I think he was unlucky to be honest. It's not like he tried to make Sunderland and attractive team to watch or anything, plus he lost all his strikers from last season and that's bound to affect the team, they've been conceding far too many and as everyone knows the attack is the first line of defence. Without that first line they've been screwed. Mick McCarthy is another manager who is under pressure, again this is ridiculous. He's British for God's sake. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Liverpool
Losing Lucas is obviously a blow for Liverpool but once again King Kenny has shown his managerial acumen, he bought about 12 midfielders in the summer just in case of this eventuality, what a man he is. I remember back when we were both at Liverpool and I nearly broke his leg in training, he turned to me and said "Dave, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to have a word with the gaffer about your future at this club." He could spot my talent even then, I could tell. I guess he never got the chance to speak to the boss though, I was sold to Tranmere the next week.
Verdict: 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions 26/11/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a terrible week for all the English clubs in Europe. Not one of them has qualified for the last 16 yet and to rub salt into the wound Arsenal did. It's a Ryan Giggs of a situation: a shocking state of affairs. Hopefully the return to proper English football will bring more joy. As Winston Churchill said "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win." So it doesn't look good for old unbeaten Arsenal does it?

Stoke v Blackburn
So often the early game on a Saturday is one of the big clubs trouncing one of the minnows so it's refreshing to see this real clash of the Titans. Neither team is in particularly good form at the moment so hopefully they will get back to the basics of grinding out a result without ever playing anything resembling football. And if we're really lucky we might get to see one of the truly great sights in football; Rory Delap flinging the ball at Peter Crouch's head and it ricocheting into the net. Glorious.
Verdict: 1-1

Bolton v Everton
Neither of these teams will be happy with their start to the season and they've both made too many individual errors, the main one being attempting to play football. I think Bolton could struggle all season but at least Everton have a Scotchman at the helm so he can bring a bit of British grit to proceedings. Still he could do with splashing the cash a bit more, Everton are a big club and big clubs should spend the money they earn instead of sitting on there profits. Football is not a business, Bill Kenwright, you'd do well to remember that.
Verdict: 0-2

Chelsea v Wolves
I recently put Andre Villas Boas into Google translate and it turns out in English his name is Andrew Houses Snakes. Unfortunately at the moment his Chelsea team lacks venom. Not John Terry though, he's like a viper with a lions head, heart, and body. If anyone can show the resilience to drag Chelsea back after losing to a bunch of Germans it's John Terry. He has absolutely no resemblence to any German ever, living or dead. He's more English than the English Channel, more British than British Steel and more United Kingdom than the King, whoever he is.
Verdict: 3-0

Man Utd v Newcastle
Newcastle have got a very difficult run games at the moment and it's a shame it's coincided with their worst run of form of the season. I can't see them winning here, Man Utd might not be playing brilliantly at the moment but it's a sign of the truly great teams that you keep winning even when you're not actually very good. But Newcastle are a well run club and it's refreshing to see a proper fan in charge rather than some faceless corporation so I think they'll pull themselves out of this slump before long.
Verdict: 1-0

Norwich v QPR
Norwich may have lost last week but it's these sort of games that are the ones that count for them, it's important to win your home games. Whatever happens though I'm sure the fans are enjoying the ride in their first shot at the big time. I heard of an entire family of Norwich fans who went last week Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, Grandchildren and all four of them loved it. Good on them.
Verdict: 2-1

Sunderland v Wigan
Now I'm not the sort of pundit who would ever call for a manager to be sacked but Steve Bruce is under real pressure at the moment. Luckily he's up against an equally poor Wigan side led by Roberto Martinez, who should be sacked.
Verdict: 2-0

West Brom v Tottenham
I mentioned Google Translate earlier I'd never heard of it until recently, Steve Claridge suggested it might be useful to help me understand Roy Hodgson's interviews. Unfortunately Google Translate doesn't seem to know what language he's speaking either. Harry Redknapp only speaks one language however: football. And football is a language is that is spoken from the heart and no one has a stronger footballing heart than Harry Redknapp. I honestly can't see this game being too taxing for a man of his character.
Verdict: 0-2

Arsenal v Fulham
There have been accusations that Arsenal are a one man team and to some extent those accusations are true. Can you imagine if they didn't have Theo Walcott? They'd be completely foreign. It's a big burden for the lad but he's been going to World Cups with England since he was teenager so he'll know how to handle pressure, gambling and shagging around. I still hope Fulham beat them though. Foreign Jessies.
Verdict: 0-1

Swansea v Aston Villa
Villa got their tactics all wrong for the Tottenham game last week but that shouldn't be a problem here. The Welsh wouldn't know a tactic if it kicked them in the balls. Which is probably what Alan Hutton is going to do. Marvellous.
Verdict: 0-3

Liverpool v Man City
Man City's unbeaten run ends here. After their humiliating defeat to Napoli in midweek, the blows will keep on coming. I mean where is Napoli anyway? I've never heard of it and I've been to Italy, I've heard of Rome, Milan, Turin and Naples, but Napoli? It's probably some pokey little village in the middle of nowhere. Much like Manchester in fact. Liverpool will have too much for them, trust me. It'll be a black day for City's defence when they face Suarez.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 19/11/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I see this week Sepp Blatter has posted pictures of him hugging Tokyo Sexwale. It's no big deal, who hasn't got drunk and woken up in a Japanese brothel? He's also got himself embroiled in the ongoing race row,and I think we can all agree that racism is a cancer in football and Sepp Blatter is dealing with this cancer in exactly the right way, ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

Norwich v Arsenal
After Arsenal's poor start they have won a couple on the trot recently but hopefully they can get back on track here against a Norwich team who, like Burnley and Blackpool before them have made a great start to their first ever season in top flight football.
Verdict: 2-1

Everton v Wolves
This literally is a must win game for both teams, a loss here would mean that either team would only be left with 27 games in which to turn their season around and could leave them in a battle for the midtable places. With a win here and a good run of form they could be challenging for about 9th or 10th.
Verdict: 2-0

Man City v Newcastle
So Tevez has gone walkabout to Argentina again? It's no surprise to me anyone could see, even when he was at West Ham that he was trouble. I hope Mancini has learnt his lesson here, no top manager, Sir Alex Ferguson for example, would ever have touched him with a bargepole. As far as this match goes these are the only two unbeaten teams left in the league but one of them will have to lose that record here.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v QPR
This is the sort of game that sets the Premiership apart from all othe leagues in world football. A few years ago this would have been a lower league clash, played in an awful stadium with no flair or technical skill on display. It would've been dour and dull and uncultured and probably won by the odd goal from a long ball. And finally that fantastic prospect has reached the Premier League.
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v Fulham
It is clear that Sunderland have struggled since they lost Darren Bent to Villa. It's hard to bring in someone who can get you the goals that Bent gets and Sunderland don't have the money to just go out and get an Andy Carroll or a Fernando Torres like the big teams do. Fulham have their own English goal machine in Bobby Zamora who is carving a niche for himself in the national team which, after beating Spain, is clearly the best in the world. I honestly think Zamora could be the next Emile Heskey.
Verdict: 0-1

West Brom v Bolton
Look at the fates of the last three Liverpool managers, Houllier had a heart attack and for all I know is now dead, Benitez will probably never work again and Roy Hodgson is the worst off getting stuck in the Black Country. All this points to one thing, Liverpool should stop hiring foreigners. Bolton finally got a win under their belts last time out and I'm sure that fantastic run of will continue here.
Verdict: 0-0

Wigan v Blackburn
This is already a real relegation tussle and a loss for either team could spell the end for the manager. That would be a real shame for Steve Kean who has all the attributes to be the next Tony Pulis but it's really time someone put Martinez out of his misery and sent him home to Italy.
Verdict: 1-2

Swansea v Man Utd
I used to know a Welshman, he was a nice chap, until he took me out on the pull with him. Now I've slept with the odd sexwhale in my time but I draw the line at sheep! That's a joke of course. I've never met a nice Welshman. Let's hope they get crushed by Man Utd's thoroughly nice spine of Ferdinand, Rooney and Giggs.

Chelsea v Liverpool
What ought to have been billed as the game of the season has been overshadowed by this daft race row. It's truly ludicrous to believe that someone of John Terry's pedigree would be involved in something like this, he is a true leader of men someone who should be celebrated, there should be a party thrown in his honour party in this country. A British national party. And in my book there's still no better defender in the land, yes he's still the top dog when it comes to the English defence league. As for Suarez well he might be racist, he is foreign after all, but if you can't sweep things under the carpet for the most successful team in the country who can you sweep them under the carpet for?
Verdict: 1-1

Tottenham v Aston Villa
On a personal level Harry Redknapp must be on cloud nine at the moment. He can clearly do no wrong and he'll feel like no harm could ever befall him the way Spurs are playing. As Winston Churchill once said "He's walking on sunshine, whoa oo, and don't it feel good?" As for Alex McLeish, he's alright for a ginge, but he's no 'Arry is he?
Verdict: 3-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 05/11/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees Sir Alex Ferguson celebrate his 25th anniversary as Manchester United. You can't argue with his pedigree but I think he faces his toughest challenge ahead. How will he cope with the spending power of Man City? He must be livid when he looks at Man City buying the title, it goes against everything Sir Alex stands for. Still 25 years as a manager is pretty good going. I reckon he'd know enough to have a go at punditry now.

Newcastle v Everton
It's hard to see Newcastle getting beaten at the moment, they're working hard for each other as a team and they're playing some lovely football so surely it can't be long before some team puts the boot in and stops them in their tracks. I'm just not sure Everton have got enough cloggers in their team to do the job, which is a shame.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v West Brom
Arsenal are in a terrible run of form at the moment and I genuinely can't remember the last time they kept a clean sheet in any competition. Yes, they beat Chelsea last week but they still conceded three goals, you can't concede that many and still consider yourself a good team. However even Arsenal should have too much for West Brom, who are surely kicking themselves for hiring a foreign manager.
Verdict: 3-2

Aston Villa v Norwich
Villa fans weren't happy when McLeish was appointed as there manager and it's easy to see why. No one likes a ginger. But what they forgot was the fact that he's Scotch and as Alex Ferguson has shown if there's one thing the Scotch can do is drink heavily and they can also manage a bit too. I think his nationality is what will give McLeish the edge in this game.
Verdict: 1-0

Blackburn v Chelsea
Chelsea slipped up against Arsenal last week but they won't slip up again. John Terry will see to that, John Terry doesn't make slip ups. Right now he has the weight the of the world on his shoulders but he'll stay tall like the upstanding British hero he is. Chelsea won't slump to another defeat with him leading them.
Verdict: 0-3

Liverpool v Swansea
Luis Suarez is THE outstanding striker in the Premier League bar none at the moment, and I reckon he'll fill his boots here against the leek eating, valley dwellers. Let's face it the Welsh might be able to produce good male voice choirs but that doesn't mean they can play football. Look at Liverpool, no musical heritage at all but we're the most successful team in the world.
Verdict: 1-0

Man Utd v Sunderland
What can you say about Alex Ferguson that hasn't already been said? That he eats babies. But that's not true, he's not Arsene Wenger. Credit where credit's due Alex Ferguson has performed miracles at Man Utd and made them the second most successful club in the country, if Steve Bruce could do half of what Sir Alex has done then he wouldn't be managing Sunderland.
Verdict: 2-0

QPR v Man City
Neil Warnock has been in trouble this week for saying his players defended like fairies. And quite right to, there's no room for homophobia in football. But if his team don't tighten up at the back they could leave themselves open to the likes of Silva playing in the hole. If they're not careful they could get royally shafted, the bunch of pansies.
Verdict: 0-3

Wolves v Wigan
Both these teams are facing tough times but as Winston Churchill once said "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I can see Wolves getting going here because they're tough whereas Wigan are literally the opposite of toughL: foreign. They're a disgrace to the North.
Verdict: 1-0

Bolton v Stoke
Against Newcastle last week Stoke looked dull, uninspired, lacking in ideas and had to resort to route one football, which just goes to show you can do everything right and still lose. Away from home though they've been distinctly average. Luckily Bolton this season have been worse than average, they've been ordinary.
Verdict: 1-2

Fulham v Tottenham
Poor Harry Redknapp has had to undergo heart surgery this week, which is a fairly drastic measure to get out of having to watch Europa League football. Having had my fair share of surgery though what I want to know is how did he jump the waiting lists? I'd say he slipped someone a few quid but that's not harry's style. Still the Spurs boys will know exactly what to do to give Harry the best get well present: nip to Tescos and buy a bottle of cheap gin. And they'll probably win this match too witch might cheer him up.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 29/10/11

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The racism row shows no signs of stopping, and now they've gone and accused John Terry of it. An Englishman! It's PC gone mad. In my day racism wasn't an issue. There was loads of it, it just wasn't an issue. Now I don't condone any form of bigotry but it's clear to me there are bigger problems than racism in football. Foreigners for one.

Everton v Manchester United
Until Jonny Evans was sent off Man Utd were well in the game against City but then they got the tactics all wrong after being reduced to ten men. When I was a pro we always worked hard on playing with a man less in training. Well I say we, the other lads did, I was the one who always got sent off. Everton are never an easy team to play so this will be a real test of United's character, some people have rightly questioned Man Utd's spine but that doesn't mean they can't show a little backbone here.
Verdict: 1-2

Chelsea v Arsenal
It's been a tough ride for Chelsea over the last week. A shock loss against QPR and then the racism incident. But if anyone can prove that being a racist is no hindrance to being a professional footballer it's John Terry, I mean come on it's not that bad is it? It's not like he's mocking 9/11 victims or anything. As far as I'm concerned Terry is whiter than white. Anyway I can't see him getting another black mark to his name against Arsenal's hopelessly out of form midgets.
Verdict: 3-1

Man City v Wolves
Mick McCarthy has received a lot of unnecessary stick from the Wolves fan recently. They've criticised his tactics apparently, which is ridiculous when did tactics ever win a game. All McCarthy needs is grit and determination and he has it, by the bucketful. Whether Mancini has grittermination is yet to be seen but he has got a lot of money which is pretty much the same.
Verdict: 4-1

Norwich v Blackburn
There have been high-sixes all round in Norwich due to their good start to the season and I can see the good times continuing here. Blackburn have all the ingredients to be a dour, workmanlike, tough to beat, horrible to watch team but for some reason Kean can't get them to reach those heights. Another loss for them here I fear.
Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland v Aston Villa
It's a bit of a grudge match this due to Darren Bent's move to Villa last year. I love a grudge match. Quite frankly a match without grudge is like a tonic without a gin. And a match with a grudge is like a gin without a tonic; far better. Alan Hutton has been practising his leg breaking tackles in preperation for this match, he hasn't quite perfected it yet but this could be the game if you ask me.
Verdict: 1-1

Swansea v Bolton
Bolton face a tough trip to Wales here, but when isn't a visit to Wales tough eh? It's full of Welsh people for a start. Bolton will have to rely on the one thing the Welsh can't possibly have: British Grit. But it'll be tough.
Verdict: 0-0

Wigan v Fulham
For me this is already a six-pointer Fulham have struggled away from home and could find themselves in a bit of trouble if there form doesn't continue and Wigan are just too foreign to not be considered relegation candidates. Both these sides will be desperate to win this game but only one will.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Liverpool
Now that Liverpool have a British manager rather than a string of foreigners they seem to be on the right path at last. Yes they lost to West Brom last year but with King Kenny at the helm it can't happen this year. As Winston Churchill said "lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice." There have been accusations that Suarez is a diver and I hope he cuts that out of his game, maybe now Steven Gerrard's back I'm sure he'll have a word with him about how to stay on your feet.
Verdict: 0-2

Tottenham v QPR
This is probably the easiest game of the week to predict. Tottenham are showing the sort of form that will get them into the top four and QPR just aren't good enough to ever beat a top four team.
Verdict: 3-0

Stoke v Newcastle
Everyone knows that the Britannia Stadium is the toughest place in the world for any team to go to. Except for Stoke, they seem to do alright there. But have Newcastle got what it takes to out-Stoke Stoke? They literally might do. But also maybe not. It'll probably be a draw.
Verdict: 0-0