Dave Pundit's Predictions 12/12/09

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. You may have noticed a lack of predictions in recent weeks, unfortunately I received a call from Steve Claridge a fortnight ago telling me I needed to renew my Diploma in Punditry. So I've spent the last two weeks scraping together the £2500 I needed. Luckily for a man of my talents this was no problem. Look out for my cash-in Christmas DVD. Dave's Massive Tackles. I didn't really look at the script but I assume it's one of those compilation video's of footballing mishaps. What else could it be?

Stoke v Wigan
I can't believe the furore over the bust up between Tony Pulis and James Beattie. In my day I argued with the gaffer on a daily basis. Of course I always had to back down, respect the managers wishes and put my hand in my pocket and buy the next round. Of course no one argues with Martinez. He speaks foreign so no one knows what he's saying anyway.
Verdict 1-0

Birmingham v West Ham
Gianfranco Zola has ruined West Ham. No wonder they can't find a buyer. I mean it would be like buying a fantastic old Rover and it turning out to have an Italian engine. And let's face the Italians probably know as much about cars as they do about football.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Man City
City did an amazing job to beat Chelsea last week, but this is another kettle of fish altogether. Bolton are the masters of dull, defensive, violent football and I'm not sure Mark Hughes will understand that brand of football. This could be a toughy for City.
Verdict 1-1

Burnley v Fulham
Burnley's home form is pretty good for a club that has just come up but I do worry about the fact that they try to play football. That's pretty much the last thing a Championship level team should be doing. Fulham might sneak a win here if they can exploit Burnley's bizarre desire to score goals.
Verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Everton
One of the signs of a good team is the ability to bounce back after after a defeat. Another sign of a good team is John Terry. John Terry is a brick and nothing bounces back better than a brick. Everton won't stand a chance.
Verdict 3-1

Hull v Blackburn
Hull have been a bit hit and miss this season. Blackburn have been typical of a Sam Allardyce team; lots of hitting. Hopefully both teams will hit each other hard in this bruising encounter. It's a good job Jimmy Bullard is injured his glass knees would be shattered permanently if he played in this game. And you hate to see that sort of thing happen to an Englishman.
Verdict 0-1

Sunderland v Portsmouth
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth paying £2500 for my Punditry Diploma. I could do this sort of match with my eyes shut. Sunderland will walk this one. Unless Portsmouth can pull of something special, of course. You can't predict anything in football.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Wolves
Tottenham are fourth in the league for a reason they're the best team in the country behind the big four, Man City and maybe Villa. Wolves on the other hand are absolute guff.
Verdict 2-0

Man Utd v Aston Villa
Despite all their injuries Man Utd are still winning games. That's the true sign of a good team. In fact I'd go as far as to say it proves they're the best team in the league and the fact that they're second backs that up. Villa are good but I don't think they can defeat Man Utd English spine of Rooney, Giggs and whatever young player they've got to draft into defence but he's bound to be an Englishman isn't he? I can't name one Man Utd player who isn't English.
Verdict 2-1

Liverpool v Arsenal
Rafa's master plan is just about to come into fruition. His clever tactics have put him in a prime position to win the Europa League and a good win against a bunch of foreign muppets will set them up nicely in the league. Arsenal bounced back after there defeat to Chelsea, but that's not a sign of a good team, they've also managed to cope with injuries but again that's not a sign of a good team either. In midweek the even played with an English spine of Bartley, Ramsey and Walcott but again that's not the sign of a good team. Having a British manager is what counts. And that's why Liverpool will win this one.
Verdict 2-1