Dave Pundit's Predictions 29/08/09

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. People often ask me why the modern footballer complains of being tired when we're only two weeks into the season. I have to say if they're anything like me it's because they've got a raging hangover. Although these days the players could just have a vodka and Red Bull in the morning and they'd be fine. So it remains a mystery I guess. Perhaps they're just soft? I never complained of tiredness myself. I just went for a kip and hope the manager didn't need to sub me on too early in the game.

Chelsea v Burnley
Chelsea are the favourites for the title and that is only right and proper. It would be an insult to John Terry if his team weren't favourites. The man is literally a born winner. He came out and straight away put in perfectly timed challenge on the midwife. Snapped her leg in two. Glorious. This will be Burnley's toughest test so far and one they'll fail miserably.
Verdict 2-0

Blackburn v West Ham
West Ham's fans were disgraceful at Millwall this week. I blame Gianfranco Zola, he's clearly brought the hooligan element of the Italian 'Ultras' with him, I can't imagine the Hammer's fans would've ever got into trouble before he came along. I hate hooliganism, there's no place for violence in sport. Let's hope Big Sam's Blackburn boot the West Ham players off the park.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Liverpool
It's far to early to write Liverpool off. You only have to look at their past record to show that they are always genuine contenders for the league. It's no secret that I played almost six games for this fine club and unlike most former Liverpool players turned pundits I have to say I really think this year could be their year.
Verdict 0-2

Stoke v Sunderland
Now this is the sort of fixture I can really get my teeth into. It'll be a true British match, full of grit, determination and a total lack of finesse. What more could anyone ask for? Maybe someone who could launch a throw in from one end of the pitch to the other. Which match has also got. It really has got it all.
Verdict 0-0

Tottenham v Birmingham
Tottenham have had a fantastic start to the season but they have to remember this is a marathon not a sprint. And there's only one way to win a marathon; have a strong English spine. Let's face it, Paula Radcliffe wouldn't have got far without her spine would she? And quite frankly Jermain Defoe, Jermaine Jenas and Ledley King are looking more like Paula Radcliffe every day.
Verdict 3-1

Wolves v Hull
It would be easy not to care about this fixture.
Verdict 0-1

Man Utd v Arsenal
Eduardo's blatant dive was probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I once woke up half way through my own liver transplant. In my day you no one dived. You just took the tackle, and the resulting broken leg, like a man. Quite frankly if someone broke Eduardo's leg I doubt he'd ever get over it.
Verdict 2-1

Portsmouth v Man City
Many people have questioned whether Lescott was worth £24m. Well of course he was. He's an England international for God's sake. That instantly triples your worth. Real Madrid paid £80m for Ronaldo and he's never played for England. Lescott was a bargain. Portsmouth will struggle against City's new look English spine of Lescott, Barry and Bellamy.
Verdict 0-2

Everton v Wigan
Everton have had a dreadful start to the season and the loss of Lescott will only hamper them more, they might have signed Diniyar Bilyaletdinov but I can't see that doing much except annoy commentators. Wigan have been a bit hit and miss so far and they need to recover last seasons form unfortunately for them they no longer have an Englishman in charge so they may well struggle.
Verdict 2-2

Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa were lucky to beat Liverpool last week. I imagine both teams will attempt to play fast flowing football, quick passing and good movement. Hopefully the fans won't be too disappointed.
Verdict 2-1