Dave Pundit's Predictions17/05/09

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Like all footballers of my generation, and entirely unlike all the money grabbing, overpaid popinjays that play the game to day, I do my bit for charity. Only last week I gave a tramp a tenner to buy some beer. And when he got back I even let him have one.

Man Utd v Arsenal
Much to the disappointment of Liverpool fans everywhere I can't see anything but a Man Utd win here, meaning they'll retain the title. But Liverpool fans shouldn't blame their team. They should blame Arsenal. They just haven't got the guts to win this sort of game. They lack, what I would call, British players.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Hull
What a corker this match is going to be. Hull have everything to fight for whereas Bolton just like to fight. I think I'm literally going to explode with excitement.
Verdict 0-0

Everton v West Ham
A lot of people expect me to dislike Everton due to the almost six games I played for Liverpool. But Everton have two things going for them; they're northern and their manager is English. West Ham have neither of those things so I can't see anything other than win for the Toffees here.
Verdict 1-0

Middlesbrough v Aston Villa
After losing to Newcastle Middlesbrough are as good as down. But the chairman has stated that Gareth Southgate will keep his job. Why? He's clearly rubbish. He got you relegated for God's sake. Sack him. Sack him now.
Verdict 0-2

Newcastle v Fulham
I'd never want a manager to be sacked but when Joe Kinnear could no longer manage Newcastle it was good news for everyone. I just don't think Kinnear had enough heart for the job. Tactics and experience are all well and good but everyone knows that what a club needs is a good local boy to manage them. That's why Kenny Dalglish was so good at Liverpool. I back to Shearer to get the win here because I have no idea where Roy Hodgson is from.
Verdict 2-1

Stoke v Wigan
Both of these teams are playing for pride but unlike foreigners us Brits rate pride higher than actually winning stuff so this game should be a cracker. Rory Delap's throw could be the difference here if I'd had something that long and hard when I was playing I'd've put it to good effect too.
Verdict 1-0

Tottenham v Man City
Spurs are still pushing for Europe and Man City might be as well. I can't really remember. To be honest if it's not a title decider or a relegation dogfight at this stage of the season who cares? Well Robbie Keane probably does, like all good Brits he's a caring person. Not like foreigners. If foreigners were caring how do you explain Hitler?
Verdict 1-0

West Brom v Liverpool
Liverpool will fight to the very end, as long as there's mathematical hope they'll want to win the title. West Brom on the other hand are down and out. Not mathematically of course but that's not the sort of thing footballers think about.
Verdict 0-3

Chelsea v Blackburn
Chelsea would be wise to rest players for the FA cup here because lets face it, whoever you put out against one of Big Sam's team you can guarantee 50% will get injured. Not John Terry though, he doesn't need rest, he's like an insomniac on speed but in a good way.
Verdict 2-0

Portsmouth v Sunderland
Sunderland will be hoping that results will go there way over the weekend and they'll be safe by the time they play this match, if that's the case then no one will care about the result at all so I might as well predict something crazy.
Verdict 1-1