Dave Pundit's Festive Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It's Christmas, a time for giving and receiving, a time for festive cheer and a time for children. But we have to spare a thought for some of the negatives about Christmas, the people with no families or no home to go to and the fact that the pubs don't stay open all day. What kind of holiday is that? A foreign one if you ask me.

Birmingham v Chelsea
Birmingham have been in fine form recently and if they can add a few leg breaking challenges to the second half of the season they might even scrape a European spot. But they won't beat Chelsea. Apparently there hasn't been enough grit for all the snow this week. Well I'm not surprised, John Terry has it all.
Verdict 0-2

Fulham v Tottenham
Fulham's result against Man Utd was stunning. But it can be easily explained by the injuries to their British spine. Sadly for Fulham have no such problem. You don't get much more British than Dawson, Huddlestone and Keane.
Verdict 0-1

West Ham v Portsmouth
Neither of these teams have been performing well this year and are you surprised when you look at the managers? I doubt the Italians even celebrate Christmas and I can't imagine an Israeli like Grant even knows where Bethlehem is. In football terms if you're going to entrust your team to foreigners you get what you deserve.
Verdict 2-2

Burnley v Bolton
Burnley have been great at home but I've been disappointed by them to be honest. When I was told we'd have a good northern team like Burnley in the Premier League but they've come up, tried to play exciting, beautiful football. You wouldn't catch Bolton trying that.
Verdict 0-1

Man City v Stoke
Mark Hughes was treated unfairly by the Man City board, and now they've made the cardinal sin of bringing in a foreign manager. I've said it before and I'll say it again foreign managers have no place in football.
Verdict 1-1

Sunderland v Everton
Both these teams have been a bit hit and miss, but at least they're consistently hit and miss. That's because they have good English managers. It makes these games much easier to predict. It'll be violent, bloody and British. And probably a draw.
Verdict 1-1

Wigan v Blackburn
Now this should be a corker as long as Martinez doesn't try to play football. Trying to play football against Blackburn is like trying to play strip poker with your gran. She doesn't understand the rules and it'll probably end up with you getting a smack round the head.
Verdict 0-0

Liverpool v Wolves
I think we need to get behind Rafa Benitez. He's come over here from Spain and faced a lot of prejudice. That doesn't help any manager. It's Christmas so maybe we should all try and be a little more tolerant. I think 2010 will herald great things for Liverpool they're on the verge of big things. Trust me. Plus Mick McCarthy will probably field 3 outfield players and the tea lady for this one.
Verdict 3-0

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsene Wenger and his mob will be looking forward to the end of another trophyless year. However if they're expecting any gifts off of Villa this Christmas they'll be sorely disappointed. I imagine Wenger will be eating a big slice of humble mince pie after this match.
Verdict 0-2

Hull v Man Utd
You'd never have expected Fulham to beat Man Utd but if football has taught me anything it's to always expect the unexpected. And I expect Man Utd to win this one so I guess it'll be a Hull victory. But now I'm expecting that it'll have to be a Man Utd one. Which just goes to show you can't back against the Champions.
Verdict 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions 12/12/09

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. You may have noticed a lack of predictions in recent weeks, unfortunately I received a call from Steve Claridge a fortnight ago telling me I needed to renew my Diploma in Punditry. So I've spent the last two weeks scraping together the £2500 I needed. Luckily for a man of my talents this was no problem. Look out for my cash-in Christmas DVD. Dave's Massive Tackles. I didn't really look at the script but I assume it's one of those compilation video's of footballing mishaps. What else could it be?

Stoke v Wigan
I can't believe the furore over the bust up between Tony Pulis and James Beattie. In my day I argued with the gaffer on a daily basis. Of course I always had to back down, respect the managers wishes and put my hand in my pocket and buy the next round. Of course no one argues with Martinez. He speaks foreign so no one knows what he's saying anyway.
Verdict 1-0

Birmingham v West Ham
Gianfranco Zola has ruined West Ham. No wonder they can't find a buyer. I mean it would be like buying a fantastic old Rover and it turning out to have an Italian engine. And let's face the Italians probably know as much about cars as they do about football.
Verdict 1-0

Bolton v Man City
City did an amazing job to beat Chelsea last week, but this is another kettle of fish altogether. Bolton are the masters of dull, defensive, violent football and I'm not sure Mark Hughes will understand that brand of football. This could be a toughy for City.
Verdict 1-1

Burnley v Fulham
Burnley's home form is pretty good for a club that has just come up but I do worry about the fact that they try to play football. That's pretty much the last thing a Championship level team should be doing. Fulham might sneak a win here if they can exploit Burnley's bizarre desire to score goals.
Verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Everton
One of the signs of a good team is the ability to bounce back after after a defeat. Another sign of a good team is John Terry. John Terry is a brick and nothing bounces back better than a brick. Everton won't stand a chance.
Verdict 3-1

Hull v Blackburn
Hull have been a bit hit and miss this season. Blackburn have been typical of a Sam Allardyce team; lots of hitting. Hopefully both teams will hit each other hard in this bruising encounter. It's a good job Jimmy Bullard is injured his glass knees would be shattered permanently if he played in this game. And you hate to see that sort of thing happen to an Englishman.
Verdict 0-1

Sunderland v Portsmouth
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth paying £2500 for my Punditry Diploma. I could do this sort of match with my eyes shut. Sunderland will walk this one. Unless Portsmouth can pull of something special, of course. You can't predict anything in football.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Wolves
Tottenham are fourth in the league for a reason they're the best team in the country behind the big four, Man City and maybe Villa. Wolves on the other hand are absolute guff.
Verdict 2-0

Man Utd v Aston Villa
Despite all their injuries Man Utd are still winning games. That's the true sign of a good team. In fact I'd go as far as to say it proves they're the best team in the league and the fact that they're second backs that up. Villa are good but I don't think they can defeat Man Utd English spine of Rooney, Giggs and whatever young player they've got to draft into defence but he's bound to be an Englishman isn't he? I can't name one Man Utd player who isn't English.
Verdict 2-1

Liverpool v Arsenal
Rafa's master plan is just about to come into fruition. His clever tactics have put him in a prime position to win the Europa League and a good win against a bunch of foreign muppets will set them up nicely in the league. Arsenal bounced back after there defeat to Chelsea, but that's not a sign of a good team, they've also managed to cope with injuries but again that's not a sign of a good team either. In midweek the even played with an English spine of Bartley, Ramsey and Walcott but again that's not the sign of a good team. Having a British manager is what counts. And that's why Liverpool will win this one.
Verdict 2-1