Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I hate New Year's Eve. The pubs are packed with amateur drinkers, you have to pay to go into the same pub you've been drinking in for free all year and you can never get to the toilet because of all the twelve year old chavs snorting washing powder off the seats and thinking they're getting a real buzz. Listen to me, I sound like someone off that Grumpy Old Men programme, I hate that programme. It's just a bunch of old farts with no real problems pretending to hate stuff for a cheap laugh.
Liverpool v Newcastle
Poor old Liverpool, they're being persecuted from all sides at the minute. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only pundit who is on their side. It seems to me like the FA have got it in for Liverpool, they're trying to stop us being successful, give some other teams a chance to win something for once I guess. Still they won't stop us winning this match, Andy Carroll will want to show Newcastle what they're missing, they've struggled to replace the goals that he gets that's for sure.
Verdict: 2-0
Man United v Blackburn
It doesn't seem that long ago that people were writing off Man Utd's chances of winning the league and yet if they get even a point here they'll be top of the tree come the new year. It just goes to show that you can never, ever write Man Utd off and anyone who does is an idiot. They're unwriteoffable. They're just too good to write off. They won't win the league, obviously, but they'll destroy Blackburn.
Verdict: 4-0
Arsenal v QPR
Arsenal's season has really come off the rails in the last few weeks, they lost 1-0 to Man City and then could only manage a 1-1 against Wolves. They're shipping in goals left, right and centre. Quite frankly it's a lack of proper centre backs if you ask me. They're all about that attacking and flowing football and trying to win games nonsense. If it was up to me I'd play four centre backs in every game, but that's not the Arsenal way. QPR will probably only play two centre backs as well, but at least they might be English.
Verdict: 1-2
Bolton v Wolves
This is a fixture to die for. And I imagine someone of the players will literally die out there. Both teams are struggling for form and both teams would've hoped to avoid a relegation battle this season but they've been sucked in to one and it'll be a real dogfight to survive. This'll be an ugly, violent battle against two teams who look like they barely even know how to play the game, let alone play it well. This is the game of the weekend.
Verdict: 0-0
Chelsea v Aston Villa
This season has been a bit stop start for Chelsea but that's what you get when you make a twelve year old Spaniard your manager. Luckily they have a true leader in John Terry, the most English man since Braveheart. Villa on the other hand are led by some Scotsman. I mean I like the Scotch people, they make good whisky and they like a drink but ultimately they're still a bunch of skirt wearing pansies.
Verdict: 2-0
Norwich v Fulham
I used to know a fantastic footballer from Norwich. He had everything, pace, power and ability and he was two footed. Both of them right. They don't make players like that anymore though. I don't even know if any of the Norwich team are even from Norwich, but then I don't even know any of the Norwich team. Or the Fulham one. This'll probably be a draw I guess.
Verdict: 1-1
Stoke v Wigan
It's games like this that make me sad. Only one of these teams will come and play football while the other team will be trying to kick lumps out of the opposition and hoofing the ball up field. Why can't we just go back to the days when both teams were hoofing it? Let's hope the right team wins here.
Verdict: 1-0
Swansea v Tottenham
Tottenham's title challenge doesn't show any signs of slowing down and I can't see them losing against a bunch of leek eaters. Quite frankly the Welsh have never produced a footballer of any note. I reckon Gareth Bale will put at least three past them.
Verdict: 0-4
West Brom v Everton
The Everton fans have been protesting against Bill Kenwright but he's an Evertonian through and through so you can see why they don't trust him. To be honest I'm surprised the West Brom fans haven't protested against Roy Hodgson yet, but then they are Brummies so they're used to people speaking unintelligibly at them. They probably think Hodgson is English or something! Still I think Everton will give them something to complain about here.
Verdict: 0-2
Sunderland v Man City
Martin O'Neill has done wonders in his short time at Sunderland. It wouldn't surprise me if he told Bendtner and Cattermole to get nicked. Nothing spurs a team on like having a couple of your players arrested. I used to get arrested on a regular basis when I was at Tranmere and every time I was banged up their results improved dramatically. At one point the gaffer was trying to fit me up for a murder charge to get me sent away for years. Only one team is going to get murdered here though, and it's not Man City.
Verdict: 0-3
Friday 30 December 2011
Friday 23 December 2011
Dave Pundit's Festive Predictions
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Or should I say ho ho ho, I'm Dave Pundit? Is there anything more British than Christmas? Christmas Trees, Candy Canes and the birth of Jesus it's like the history of England all in one day. I used to love training on Christmas Day, it's the only day of the year that everyone was as drunk as me. Plus it meant I didn't have to spend Christmas with my mum and two sisters. Ho ho ho.
Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games are always the toughest games to predict without exception. Except this one. Fulham are rubbish and Chelsea have John Terry. He may have the Metropolitan Police breathing down his neck but if anything it'll make him play better. He's faced controversy before but he always comes out of it whiter than white. He'll do the same here trust me.
Verdict: 3-0
Bolton v Newcastle
Bolton had a vital win against Blackburn but they really need to put some kind of run together now but they'll struggle against Newcastle. The Toon Army may be in freefall but the league table doesn't lie and they're literally the 7th best team in the league right now. I'd put my house on this game if it wasn't for the fact that I exchanged it with a bloke down the pub for five pound coins for the fruit machine. Worth it though I got a jackpot repeater.
Verdict: 0-1
Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool have come in for a lot of stick for their support of Luis Suarez but personally I think they were right to do it. If possible King Kenny has gone up in my estimation. He's like a double king now. King King Kenny. With KKK behind them, Liverpool will be on fire against Blackburn. They'll literally burn the blacks.
Verdict: 4-0
Man Utd v Wigan
Man Utd have started to hit a purple patch of form and there won't be any chancing of them slipping up here, no matter how icy it gets over Christmas. The very thought of Wigan getting any points at all against a side who are aiming for the top four is laughable. Ho ho ho.
Verdict: 3-1
Sunderland v Everton
What a Christmas cracker this game will be. Both sides have struggled this year but Martin O'Neill and David Moyes are two of the top managers in the league, they'll know that football isn't about playing well it's about grit, determination and being able to win ugly. In fact I doubt they know how to win any other way. It's just a shame that there can only be one winner here.
Verdict: 0-0
West Brom v Man City
To be honest Man City are so much better than West Brom it's not even worth making a prediction for this match, so I won't.
Verdict: 0-2
Stoke v Aston Villa
It's all been going wrong for Villa and it's difficult to see why. They've got a dour, sub-standard manager, they play defensive, ugly football regardless of the situation and they're full of mediocre players that you wouldn't remember if they punched you in the face. I can't see why they're not doing better, it's always worked wonders for Stoke.
Verdict: 1-0
Arsenal v Wolverhampton
If Robin Van Persie beats Alan Shearer's record for goals in a calendar year I'll eat my hat. It would be a travesty to end all travesties. We can't have a foreigner scoring more goals than Shearer. To make matters worse Van Persie isn't even a striker, I can't believe no ones pointed this out but to me he's more of a number 10. Shearer was a proper number 9. Nine is greater than ten, you just can't dispute that. Let's hope Wolves can do their British duty here.
Verdict: 0-1
Swansea v QPR
Poor QPR having to spend Christmas in Wales. Do they even celebrate Christmas there? Maybe but they probably call it Llanleekmas or something. I mean what's the deal with Wales having two languages anyway? Does Scotland have two languages? Does Ireland have two languages? No, the only otherpeople in Britain that have two languages is Cockneys, and why would you want to be like that bunch of berks?
Verdict: 0-2
Norwich v Tottenham
It's come to my attention that I have been using offensive terms when talking about Norwich games. I unreservedly apologise for any offence caused – this was never my intention. I'm not the sort of person who says things just to be offensive. I'm not like the likes of Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr or The Dalai Lama. Anyway back to the football, Tottenham will walk this one, that big, coloured chap they've got up front is scoring for fun at the moment.
Verdict: 0-2
Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games are always the toughest games to predict without exception. Except this one. Fulham are rubbish and Chelsea have John Terry. He may have the Metropolitan Police breathing down his neck but if anything it'll make him play better. He's faced controversy before but he always comes out of it whiter than white. He'll do the same here trust me.
Verdict: 3-0
Bolton v Newcastle
Bolton had a vital win against Blackburn but they really need to put some kind of run together now but they'll struggle against Newcastle. The Toon Army may be in freefall but the league table doesn't lie and they're literally the 7th best team in the league right now. I'd put my house on this game if it wasn't for the fact that I exchanged it with a bloke down the pub for five pound coins for the fruit machine. Worth it though I got a jackpot repeater.
Verdict: 0-1
Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool have come in for a lot of stick for their support of Luis Suarez but personally I think they were right to do it. If possible King Kenny has gone up in my estimation. He's like a double king now. King King Kenny. With KKK behind them, Liverpool will be on fire against Blackburn. They'll literally burn the blacks.
Verdict: 4-0
Man Utd v Wigan
Man Utd have started to hit a purple patch of form and there won't be any chancing of them slipping up here, no matter how icy it gets over Christmas. The very thought of Wigan getting any points at all against a side who are aiming for the top four is laughable. Ho ho ho.
Verdict: 3-1
Sunderland v Everton
What a Christmas cracker this game will be. Both sides have struggled this year but Martin O'Neill and David Moyes are two of the top managers in the league, they'll know that football isn't about playing well it's about grit, determination and being able to win ugly. In fact I doubt they know how to win any other way. It's just a shame that there can only be one winner here.
Verdict: 0-0
West Brom v Man City
To be honest Man City are so much better than West Brom it's not even worth making a prediction for this match, so I won't.
Verdict: 0-2
Stoke v Aston Villa
It's all been going wrong for Villa and it's difficult to see why. They've got a dour, sub-standard manager, they play defensive, ugly football regardless of the situation and they're full of mediocre players that you wouldn't remember if they punched you in the face. I can't see why they're not doing better, it's always worked wonders for Stoke.
Verdict: 1-0
Arsenal v Wolverhampton
If Robin Van Persie beats Alan Shearer's record for goals in a calendar year I'll eat my hat. It would be a travesty to end all travesties. We can't have a foreigner scoring more goals than Shearer. To make matters worse Van Persie isn't even a striker, I can't believe no ones pointed this out but to me he's more of a number 10. Shearer was a proper number 9. Nine is greater than ten, you just can't dispute that. Let's hope Wolves can do their British duty here.
Verdict: 0-1
Swansea v QPR
Poor QPR having to spend Christmas in Wales. Do they even celebrate Christmas there? Maybe but they probably call it Llanleekmas or something. I mean what's the deal with Wales having two languages anyway? Does Scotland have two languages? Does Ireland have two languages? No, the only otherpeople in Britain that have two languages is Cockneys, and why would you want to be like that bunch of berks?
Verdict: 0-2
Norwich v Tottenham
It's come to my attention that I have been using offensive terms when talking about Norwich games. I unreservedly apologise for any offence caused – this was never my intention. I'm not the sort of person who says things just to be offensive. I'm not like the likes of Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr or The Dalai Lama. Anyway back to the football, Tottenham will walk this one, that big, coloured chap they've got up front is scoring for fun at the moment.
Verdict: 0-2
Tuesday 20 December 2011
Dave Pundit's Predictions 20/12/11
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sorry for the lack of predictions at the weekend, I was rushed into hospital with suspected hypergonadism. Turns out it was just bruising from where I keep on sitting on myself. I've never felt more proud to be Britih when my doctor told me I had whacking great long balls.
Blackburn v Bolton
Talking of whacking great long balls lets hope we see a load of them here tonight. Sadly Scott Dann is injured, he'd be ideal to smash a ball upfield. Rumour has it that this could be Kean's last game in charge which I think is a shame, say what you like about Kean; that he's blind to everything going on at his club, that he couldn't manage for toffee and that his face is too small for his head but at least he's brought consistency to Blackburn. Bolton too have been very consistent this year but they can't both lose can they?
Verdict: 0-2
Wolverhampton v Norwich
Mick McCarthy is another manager under pressure and a win against Norwich here would certainly relieve the strain somewhat. I doubt Norwich fans will mind what the result is, they're just one big happy family down there.
Verdict: 1-0
Aston Villa v Arsenal
Aston Villa are very much a work in progress at the moment they've shown flashes of brilliance from the likes of Agbonlahor and Bent but Alex McLeish is slowly but surely managing to stifle that side of things and has them playing dour, defensive football with no attacking desire whatsoever. Good on you, ginge! Arsenal, of course, wouldn't know how to play dour football if their lives depended on it, and if I had my way it would.
Verdict: 0-0
Man City v Stoke
City did everyone a favour and ended Arsenal's unbeaten run at the weekend. City showed that just because you have a foreign manager and foreign owners doesn't mean you can't have a good English spine of Lescott, Milner and Hargreaves. They are the embodiment of how a big club should be run. Stoke will give City a far sterner test than Arsenal ever could but Stoke away is no Stoke at home.
Verdict: 2-1
Newcastle v West Brom
Newcastle have had a bit of a slump recently and it looks like they may struggle to end up in the top four. Still Newcastle fans are renowned for being sensible so I'm sure they'll understand that these things happen. Luckily they've got an excellent board behind them so I'm sure things will pick up soon, starting here against West Brom. Who's board clearly know nothing about the game otherwise they'd've never hired Roy Hodgson.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Swansea
I think it's obvious that David Moyes needs to splash the cash in January and I think he will. Before that though they should be able to beat Swansea. They may be Wales' finest but that's not much of a boast. It's a bit like saying you're the least shouty tourette's sufferer. No such problems at Everton, thank God.
Verdict: 2-0
Fulham v Man Utd
People say United haven't been in great form this season but they're still right up there at the top of the table. It's the sign of a good team that can play badly and still win, but they'll have to watch themselves, they've been playing better recently and I'm not sure playing well and winning is a sign of anything. I imagine they'll be bloody awful against Fulham though.
Verdict: 0-3
QPR v Sunderland
A couple of Sunderland players were arrested this week for causing criminal damage. Bendtner I expected it of, he's foreign. But Cattermole must have been led astray, I mean what possible need would he have to go out and break things when he's been doing it on the football pitch for years? He needs to buck up his ideas and get back to shattering foreigners legs if you ask me. Do QPR have any foreigners? I don't know and nor do I care.
Verdict: 1-1
Wigan v Liverpool
Wigan got lucky against Chelsea due to a goalkeeping error but you can't ever see Reina making one of those. Not with King Kenny behind him. Let's not forget he used to manage Bruce Grobelaar, and there was a keeper you could rely on. But to be honest I doubt Wigan will even get a sniff at goal in this match they'll be too busy defending against the might of Henderson, Downing and Carroll. This'll be a goalfest.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Chelsea
As Winston Churchill once said: "And now we're standing face to face, isn't this world a crazy place, just when I thought our chance had passed you go and save the best for last." He was quite a singer was our Winston. But this is clearly the big match of the week. 3rd vs 4th it doesn't come any bigger than that. It's literally a top of the table clash. The might of John Terry versus the wiles of Harry Redknapp, the British Bulldog spirit of Sir Jonathan of Terrence versus the Old English Sheepdog smarts of Lord 'Arry. It brings tear to the eye just thinking about it. But then, I did just sit down a bit too quick. They'll be talking about this match for years to come.
Verdict: 0-0
Blackburn v Bolton
Talking of whacking great long balls lets hope we see a load of them here tonight. Sadly Scott Dann is injured, he'd be ideal to smash a ball upfield. Rumour has it that this could be Kean's last game in charge which I think is a shame, say what you like about Kean; that he's blind to everything going on at his club, that he couldn't manage for toffee and that his face is too small for his head but at least he's brought consistency to Blackburn. Bolton too have been very consistent this year but they can't both lose can they?
Verdict: 0-2
Wolverhampton v Norwich
Mick McCarthy is another manager under pressure and a win against Norwich here would certainly relieve the strain somewhat. I doubt Norwich fans will mind what the result is, they're just one big happy family down there.
Verdict: 1-0
Aston Villa v Arsenal
Aston Villa are very much a work in progress at the moment they've shown flashes of brilliance from the likes of Agbonlahor and Bent but Alex McLeish is slowly but surely managing to stifle that side of things and has them playing dour, defensive football with no attacking desire whatsoever. Good on you, ginge! Arsenal, of course, wouldn't know how to play dour football if their lives depended on it, and if I had my way it would.
Verdict: 0-0
Man City v Stoke
City did everyone a favour and ended Arsenal's unbeaten run at the weekend. City showed that just because you have a foreign manager and foreign owners doesn't mean you can't have a good English spine of Lescott, Milner and Hargreaves. They are the embodiment of how a big club should be run. Stoke will give City a far sterner test than Arsenal ever could but Stoke away is no Stoke at home.
Verdict: 2-1
Newcastle v West Brom
Newcastle have had a bit of a slump recently and it looks like they may struggle to end up in the top four. Still Newcastle fans are renowned for being sensible so I'm sure they'll understand that these things happen. Luckily they've got an excellent board behind them so I'm sure things will pick up soon, starting here against West Brom. Who's board clearly know nothing about the game otherwise they'd've never hired Roy Hodgson.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Swansea
I think it's obvious that David Moyes needs to splash the cash in January and I think he will. Before that though they should be able to beat Swansea. They may be Wales' finest but that's not much of a boast. It's a bit like saying you're the least shouty tourette's sufferer. No such problems at Everton, thank God.
Verdict: 2-0
Fulham v Man Utd
People say United haven't been in great form this season but they're still right up there at the top of the table. It's the sign of a good team that can play badly and still win, but they'll have to watch themselves, they've been playing better recently and I'm not sure playing well and winning is a sign of anything. I imagine they'll be bloody awful against Fulham though.
Verdict: 0-3
QPR v Sunderland
A couple of Sunderland players were arrested this week for causing criminal damage. Bendtner I expected it of, he's foreign. But Cattermole must have been led astray, I mean what possible need would he have to go out and break things when he's been doing it on the football pitch for years? He needs to buck up his ideas and get back to shattering foreigners legs if you ask me. Do QPR have any foreigners? I don't know and nor do I care.
Verdict: 1-1
Wigan v Liverpool
Wigan got lucky against Chelsea due to a goalkeeping error but you can't ever see Reina making one of those. Not with King Kenny behind him. Let's not forget he used to manage Bruce Grobelaar, and there was a keeper you could rely on. But to be honest I doubt Wigan will even get a sniff at goal in this match they'll be too busy defending against the might of Henderson, Downing and Carroll. This'll be a goalfest.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Chelsea
As Winston Churchill once said: "And now we're standing face to face, isn't this world a crazy place, just when I thought our chance had passed you go and save the best for last." He was quite a singer was our Winston. But this is clearly the big match of the week. 3rd vs 4th it doesn't come any bigger than that. It's literally a top of the table clash. The might of John Terry versus the wiles of Harry Redknapp, the British Bulldog spirit of Sir Jonathan of Terrence versus the Old English Sheepdog smarts of Lord 'Arry. It brings tear to the eye just thinking about it. But then, I did just sit down a bit too quick. They'll be talking about this match for years to come.
Verdict: 0-0
Thursday 8 December 2011
Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/12/11
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. When Jay Spearing got sent off last week Gary Neville got it spot on when he said 20 years ago that wouldn't even have been a foul. What he didn't mention was that 30 years ago the gaffer would've fined you a weeks wages for a tackle like that. Both feet off the ground and you still didn't break his legs? You're obviously not working hard enough in training.
Arsenal v Everton
Everton have struggled this season but this game should be a breeze, Arsenal were a shambles in midweek, quite frankly it's teams like Arsenal that are destroying England's reputation in Europe. If a Greek team can put three past them a Scouse team can get a shed load, even if they are the wrong kind of Scouse.
Verdict: 0-4
Bolton v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are in a patch of bad form at the moment that few would've predicted at the start of the season but, as they say, class is temporary, form is permanent, so I guess they'll both get relegated. I can't see this ending in anything but a draw.
Verdict: 0-1
Liverpool v QPR
The needless persecution of Liverpool continues with Suarez up on a charge for giving the crowd the finger. I think it's ridiculous the amount of abuse the players get it's not surprising they retaliate. I mean I can't even count the amount of times I fingered some bloke in the crowd. Once a week I'd imagine. I doubt that gesture even means the same in Paraguayan anyway. Unless the powers that be decide otherwise Liverpool should win this one.
Verdict: 2-0
Man Utd v Wolves
United were desperately unlucky in Europe this week, but the nation should still be proud of the fight they put up, they're a young team and those sort of games are a great learning experience. But, as Winston Churchill said, you can't win anything with kids. Still they'll get back on track here, Wolves are an inferior outfit and Man Utd just don't lose to lesser opposition.
Verdict: 3-1
Norwich v Newcastle
Newcastle have a tough run of games and I think they could struggle here too. The atmosphere at Carrow Road is intimidating to say the least, all those extra fingers makes the clapping much louder. Last time I was there I sat in the family section and that was bad enough, although in fairness the family section is the entire stadium.
Verdict: 2-1
Swansea v Fulham
People have accused me of being anti-Wales, nothing could be further from the truth it's far better than any foreign country, it's just my least favourite part of England. London comes a close second of course but in this game London just pips it.
Verdict: 0-1
West Brom v Wigan
It sounds like this game should be woeful. Full of dreary football, bad challenges and hoofed clearances, but no, both teams had to ruin it and hire foreigners who like to play "football" didn't they?
Verdict: 2-2
Sunderland v Blackburn
Now this is more like it! Neither of these teams have come close to playing "football" all season. Wonderful. When Sunderland sacked Bruce I worried they'd go down the foreigner route but no they've backed British. Well Irish really, but that's close enough. This will be a corker, trust me.
Verdict: 0-0
Stoke v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp won the manager of the month award for November, not bad considering he was off sick for two weeks. You wouldn't get a foreigner doing that, they just haven't got the heart. However if there's any team in the land that can stop Tottenham's charge it's Stoke. I'm not sure Tottenham have anyone can deal with Stoke's long balls. Not since Jenas left anyway.
Verdict: 1-0
Chelsea v Man City
Man City's foreign invasion ends here. They may have beaten all comers so far but they can't compete with John Terry, he's the bravest, truest, most honest-to-goodness English man since Richard the Lionheart. He wouldn't stand for invading someone else's country either. Chelsea will show Man City you can't buy the Premier League title.
Verdict: 2-0
Arsenal v Everton
Everton have struggled this season but this game should be a breeze, Arsenal were a shambles in midweek, quite frankly it's teams like Arsenal that are destroying England's reputation in Europe. If a Greek team can put three past them a Scouse team can get a shed load, even if they are the wrong kind of Scouse.
Verdict: 0-4
Bolton v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are in a patch of bad form at the moment that few would've predicted at the start of the season but, as they say, class is temporary, form is permanent, so I guess they'll both get relegated. I can't see this ending in anything but a draw.
Verdict: 0-1
Liverpool v QPR
The needless persecution of Liverpool continues with Suarez up on a charge for giving the crowd the finger. I think it's ridiculous the amount of abuse the players get it's not surprising they retaliate. I mean I can't even count the amount of times I fingered some bloke in the crowd. Once a week I'd imagine. I doubt that gesture even means the same in Paraguayan anyway. Unless the powers that be decide otherwise Liverpool should win this one.
Verdict: 2-0
Man Utd v Wolves
United were desperately unlucky in Europe this week, but the nation should still be proud of the fight they put up, they're a young team and those sort of games are a great learning experience. But, as Winston Churchill said, you can't win anything with kids. Still they'll get back on track here, Wolves are an inferior outfit and Man Utd just don't lose to lesser opposition.
Verdict: 3-1
Norwich v Newcastle
Newcastle have a tough run of games and I think they could struggle here too. The atmosphere at Carrow Road is intimidating to say the least, all those extra fingers makes the clapping much louder. Last time I was there I sat in the family section and that was bad enough, although in fairness the family section is the entire stadium.
Verdict: 2-1
Swansea v Fulham
People have accused me of being anti-Wales, nothing could be further from the truth it's far better than any foreign country, it's just my least favourite part of England. London comes a close second of course but in this game London just pips it.
Verdict: 0-1
West Brom v Wigan
It sounds like this game should be woeful. Full of dreary football, bad challenges and hoofed clearances, but no, both teams had to ruin it and hire foreigners who like to play "football" didn't they?
Verdict: 2-2
Sunderland v Blackburn
Now this is more like it! Neither of these teams have come close to playing "football" all season. Wonderful. When Sunderland sacked Bruce I worried they'd go down the foreigner route but no they've backed British. Well Irish really, but that's close enough. This will be a corker, trust me.
Verdict: 0-0
Stoke v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp won the manager of the month award for November, not bad considering he was off sick for two weeks. You wouldn't get a foreigner doing that, they just haven't got the heart. However if there's any team in the land that can stop Tottenham's charge it's Stoke. I'm not sure Tottenham have anyone can deal with Stoke's long balls. Not since Jenas left anyway.
Verdict: 1-0
Chelsea v Man City
Man City's foreign invasion ends here. They may have beaten all comers so far but they can't compete with John Terry, he's the bravest, truest, most honest-to-goodness English man since Richard the Lionheart. He wouldn't stand for invading someone else's country either. Chelsea will show Man City you can't buy the Premier League title.
Verdict: 2-0
Friday 2 December 2011
Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/12/11
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It was a sad week in football this week with the shock news of Gary Speed's untimely death. Depression is a terrible thing and at least in my day we had booze to silence the screaming voices in our heads, nowadays modern footballers aren't even allowed that. Rest in peace, Gary Speed, a model pro and one of the Premier League's true legends. I'm just amazed he never got an England call up.
Newcastle v Chelsea
Some of the furore around John Terry seems to have died down this week thanks partly to a ranting woman on a tram becoming the new figurehead for racism, but like John Terry I think she's been harshly judged. Surely advising people to move out of Croydon is just good common sense. Hopefully Chelsea can get their season back on track here against a Newcastle side who have proved they can't get a result against the top four teams in the last few weeks.
Verdict: 0-2
Blackburn v Swansea
It's the time of the season when the managerial merry go round starts but Steve Kean is safe as houses. Blackburn may be in dire straits at the moment but despite that I really can't see them losing here. They may be awful, but Blackburn could put out a reserve side here and play like they don't care about the Premier League and they'd still win. Their brute, English strength will always be better than anything Wales can throw at them.
Verdict: 1-0
Man City v Norwich
City have taken on all comers and won this season and I think it would be a stupid man who'd predict anything but a win for them here. And I'm not a stupid man. I think Man City will get a hatful here, but Norwich should just about be good enough to keep it to a score they can count on the fingers of one hand.
Verdict: 6-0
QPR v West Brom
QPR have done alright in since their promotion and I think they'll have enough to beat West Brom here, it could be a different story in January when I think they'll have a job keeping their star players. I've been impressed with Joey Barton, I think if he cut out some of the fancy passing and ball control and concentrated on being a bit more of a thug he could go far. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Newcastle made a bid for him.
Verdict: 2-1
Tottenham v Bolton
Harry Redknapp believes Spurs can go on and win the title, and if that happens then Harry should get a big, fat bonus from the chairman. Spurs have such a strong squad at the moment, he could probably play a bunch of kids and still beat all but the best teams in the world. Bolton on the other hand have become a shadow of their former selves under Owen Coyle. His insistence on trying to play football is at odds with everything Bolton stands for, the managerial merry go round has begun and he's well and truly on it.
Verdict: 2-0
Wigan v Arsenal
If there's one team that typifies everything that's wrong with having a foreign manager it's Wigan and also Arsenal. The managerial merry go round is spinning now and Martinez must be feeling dizzy. As Winston Churchill said "stop the world i want to get off." I bet that's how the Wigan manager feels right now, except Martinez is nothing like Winston Churchill, I bet he's never fought a German in his life. Arsene Wenger on the other hand probably doesn't even know where Germany is. If either team wins this game it's football that loses.
Verdict: 2-2
Aston Villa v Manchester United
Alex Ferguson said that the team that lost against Crystal Palace wasn't a Man Utd side. Which is odd. I'm surprised the United bosses let Ferguson manage another team to be honest. Still I'm sure we'll see a United team this week. A proper one with a British spine and an English collarbone and grit and determination running throughout. Man Utd are literally the living embodiment of England. Villa are ok, but they'd be better if they didn't have a Scotchman in charge. And a ginger one at that.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Stoke
Stoke will be on a high after qualifying for the next round of the Europa League. A lot of people think it's a pointless competition but any chance we get to prove that good old fashioned English football is far better than the technical, tactically astute rubbish they play on the continent is a good thing if you ask me. I can't see how Stoke's brilliant form in Europe won't translate to the league here.
Verdict: 0-1
Wolves v Sunderland
Sunderland set the managerial merry go round in motion this week when they sacked Steve Bruce, I think he was unlucky to be honest. It's not like he tried to make Sunderland and attractive team to watch or anything, plus he lost all his strikers from last season and that's bound to affect the team, they've been conceding far too many and as everyone knows the attack is the first line of defence. Without that first line they've been screwed. Mick McCarthy is another manager who is under pressure, again this is ridiculous. He's British for God's sake. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?
Verdict: 0-0
Fulham v Liverpool
Losing Lucas is obviously a blow for Liverpool but once again King Kenny has shown his managerial acumen, he bought about 12 midfielders in the summer just in case of this eventuality, what a man he is. I remember back when we were both at Liverpool and I nearly broke his leg in training, he turned to me and said "Dave, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to have a word with the gaffer about your future at this club." He could spot my talent even then, I could tell. I guess he never got the chance to speak to the boss though, I was sold to Tranmere the next week.
Verdict: 0-3
Newcastle v Chelsea
Some of the furore around John Terry seems to have died down this week thanks partly to a ranting woman on a tram becoming the new figurehead for racism, but like John Terry I think she's been harshly judged. Surely advising people to move out of Croydon is just good common sense. Hopefully Chelsea can get their season back on track here against a Newcastle side who have proved they can't get a result against the top four teams in the last few weeks.
Verdict: 0-2
Blackburn v Swansea
It's the time of the season when the managerial merry go round starts but Steve Kean is safe as houses. Blackburn may be in dire straits at the moment but despite that I really can't see them losing here. They may be awful, but Blackburn could put out a reserve side here and play like they don't care about the Premier League and they'd still win. Their brute, English strength will always be better than anything Wales can throw at them.
Verdict: 1-0
Man City v Norwich
City have taken on all comers and won this season and I think it would be a stupid man who'd predict anything but a win for them here. And I'm not a stupid man. I think Man City will get a hatful here, but Norwich should just about be good enough to keep it to a score they can count on the fingers of one hand.
Verdict: 6-0
QPR v West Brom
QPR have done alright in since their promotion and I think they'll have enough to beat West Brom here, it could be a different story in January when I think they'll have a job keeping their star players. I've been impressed with Joey Barton, I think if he cut out some of the fancy passing and ball control and concentrated on being a bit more of a thug he could go far. I wouldn't be surprised if the likes of Newcastle made a bid for him.
Verdict: 2-1
Tottenham v Bolton
Harry Redknapp believes Spurs can go on and win the title, and if that happens then Harry should get a big, fat bonus from the chairman. Spurs have such a strong squad at the moment, he could probably play a bunch of kids and still beat all but the best teams in the world. Bolton on the other hand have become a shadow of their former selves under Owen Coyle. His insistence on trying to play football is at odds with everything Bolton stands for, the managerial merry go round has begun and he's well and truly on it.
Verdict: 2-0
Wigan v Arsenal
If there's one team that typifies everything that's wrong with having a foreign manager it's Wigan and also Arsenal. The managerial merry go round is spinning now and Martinez must be feeling dizzy. As Winston Churchill said "stop the world i want to get off." I bet that's how the Wigan manager feels right now, except Martinez is nothing like Winston Churchill, I bet he's never fought a German in his life. Arsene Wenger on the other hand probably doesn't even know where Germany is. If either team wins this game it's football that loses.
Verdict: 2-2
Aston Villa v Manchester United
Alex Ferguson said that the team that lost against Crystal Palace wasn't a Man Utd side. Which is odd. I'm surprised the United bosses let Ferguson manage another team to be honest. Still I'm sure we'll see a United team this week. A proper one with a British spine and an English collarbone and grit and determination running throughout. Man Utd are literally the living embodiment of England. Villa are ok, but they'd be better if they didn't have a Scotchman in charge. And a ginger one at that.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Stoke
Stoke will be on a high after qualifying for the next round of the Europa League. A lot of people think it's a pointless competition but any chance we get to prove that good old fashioned English football is far better than the technical, tactically astute rubbish they play on the continent is a good thing if you ask me. I can't see how Stoke's brilliant form in Europe won't translate to the league here.
Verdict: 0-1
Wolves v Sunderland
Sunderland set the managerial merry go round in motion this week when they sacked Steve Bruce, I think he was unlucky to be honest. It's not like he tried to make Sunderland and attractive team to watch or anything, plus he lost all his strikers from last season and that's bound to affect the team, they've been conceding far too many and as everyone knows the attack is the first line of defence. Without that first line they've been screwed. Mick McCarthy is another manager who is under pressure, again this is ridiculous. He's British for God's sake. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?
Verdict: 0-0
Fulham v Liverpool
Losing Lucas is obviously a blow for Liverpool but once again King Kenny has shown his managerial acumen, he bought about 12 midfielders in the summer just in case of this eventuality, what a man he is. I remember back when we were both at Liverpool and I nearly broke his leg in training, he turned to me and said "Dave, if you keep that up, I'm going to have to have a word with the gaffer about your future at this club." He could spot my talent even then, I could tell. I guess he never got the chance to speak to the boss though, I was sold to Tranmere the next week.
Verdict: 0-3
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