Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The question of referee bias has reared it's ugly head again and I can't see what all the fuss is about, of course the big teams get all the decisions, that's how it should be. If football was meant to be fair then we wouldn't let idiots be referees. Imagine if penalties were given at Old Trafford, where would it lead? Referees giving fouls when Jamie Carragher hauls someone down in the box? English players penalised for diving? John Terry being sent off in every single match? It would be a travesty. You'd end up with a tinpot team winning the league, or worse, a foreign one like Arsenal or Swansea.
Aston Villa v Chelsea
Aston Villa this season have produced some of the dullest, most defensive, negative football I've ever seen and yet they're still languishing at the bottom of the table. There's just no justice in the world. Chelsea on the other hand have been trying to play a more fluent passing game and it's meant they're struggling to get in the top four. However John Terry's back so he'll sort them out. There won't be any passing when he's in the team. Pass is just another word for surrender and John Terry's no Frenchman. He's English. So English that he grows roses from his chest and bleeds Tetley Tea. Villa haven't got a hope here.
Verdict: 0-1
Everton v West Brom
Someone told me that David Moyes has now been at Everton for over ten years. That's quite an achievement, if he keeps this up he might even make it to a decade. The chances of Roy Hodgson staying at a club for 10 years is just ridiculous. No chairman's that stupid, not even a brummie one. He'll be gone this summer.
Verdict: 2-0
Fulham v Norwich
Both of these clubs have already done enough to keep them from the drop, not mathematically of course but that has nothing to do with football. Football isn't about numbers, it's about getting a greater amount of goals than the other team which equates to a greater accumulation of points in the league table. Where maths comes into that I just can't see it just doesn't add up. Still if either team hits a bad run of form who knows what will happen, they won't go down I don't think there's enough points to play for for that to happen but it could be close. I have no way of working these things out.
Verdict: 1-1
Man City v Sunderland
The pressure looks like it's getting to Man City and that's because of some shaky home form. It's at the part of the season when they can't afford to slip up, if you're going to slip up then you should do it early but City didn't do that, they started the season in blistering form, the fools. It's that sort of inexperience that makes me think they won't win the league this year. Next year they'll know exactly when to be rubbish and they'll do a lot better.
Verdict: 1-1
QPR v Arsenal
Djibril Cisse has been sent off twice since he joined QPR in January but even that commitment hasn't been able to stop them sliding down the table. However they should be able to stop the rot against an Arsenal side who haven't been able to find any sort of consistency this year at all and now Robin Van Persie is in the midst of a goal drought I just can't see where the goals will come from.
Verdict: 1-0
Wigan v Stoke
Wigan's win at Liverpool was the flukiest bit of flukiness since the Earl of Fluke invented fluking. Luckily luck won't have anything to do with this game. Fortune favours the brave and you don't get much braver than Tony Pulis. Who bravely sacrificed paying a speeding ticket for the people of Stoke. With any luck they'll destroy Wigan.
Verdict: 1-0
Wolves v Bolton
It's been a tough time for the Bolton players, I can remember how difficult it is to play when one of your team mates is fighting for his life. You ask yourself if there was anything you could've done, if it was in some way your fault but in the end you have to say to yourself "No. If he hadn't slept with my mother in the first place I never would've stabbed him." Wolves on the other hand have had it easy, they've just had to cope with having their strong British manager, Mick McCarthy, being replaced by some Irish man called Terry O'Connor.
Verdict: 0-2
Newcastle v Liverpool
If someone had told me at the start of the season that this would be a top of the table clash I would've laughed in their face. But that's exactly what it is. This will be an emotional return for Andy Carroll, it'll be difficult for him to play against the team that gave him his start and then allowed him the opportunity to move to the greatest team in the country. Fortunately he'll be on the bench so it won't be so bad.
Verdict: 1-2
Tottenham v Swansea
Tottenham have had a brilliant season by anyone's standards and a few games of poor form doesn't change that. A good season isn't just about how many points you score it's about being the sort of team that the media like. Harry Redknapp knows that. In fact just last week he leant out of his car window to talk to me. What a laugh we had when I had to explain I don't actually work in the McDonald's drive through I was just arguing with the manager about him refusing to allow me to add vodka to a choclolate milkshake to make a cheap White Russian.
Verdict: 2-0
Blackburn v Man Utd
It's winning these sort of games that is the true mark of a champion. Beating the dross is what it's all about. And I can't see Man Utd ever losing to Blackburn. Man Utd are Champions and have always been Champions. Blackburn are not and have never been. That's the difference. This one might be close, end of the season games are always nervy affairs, but I'm sure all the decisions will go in Man Utd's favour so they have nothing to worry about here.
Verdict: 0-1
Friday 30 March 2012
Friday 23 March 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 24/03/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sometimes in football something happens that makes you realise that there are more important things in life than the beautiful game. Truly tragic events that unite everyone in grief. Liverpool losing 3-2 to QPR was one of those times. Thank God I've still got my booze to get me through.
Chelsea v Tottenham
What a battle this is going to be. The third best team in the league versus the fourth best team. Tottenham have the England manager in charge of them and thankfully Chelsea have seen the light and appointed an Englishman to be in charge of them. John Terry ably assisted by Frank Lampard is the dream duo. They're the most English couple since Torvill and Dean, but luckily neither of them is a giant, nappy wearing duck. For that reason alone I think John Terry will edge this one.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsenal have been poor all season and quite frankly it's far too late to turn things around now. Villa haven't been at their best all year but there's still plenty of games left for things to change and that change will start here.
Verdict: 1-2
Bolton v Blackburn
When I saw Fabrice Muamba collapse on the pitch last week I was as shocked as anyone. I've never met him, or even heard of him, but I wish him all the best in his recovery. I heard when he woke up he was speaking English and French, which must've been a bit of a worry. Hopefully he's just back to English now. Anyway Bolton have made the right decision to get back to playing football. It's what Muamba would want, I'm sure. And I think they'll win this one for him.
Verdict: 1-0
Liverpool v Wigan
Liverpool won the Carling Cup remember? That proves that they're one of the best teams in England. Proves it. Wigan have been languishing at the bottom of the table all season and I just can't see one of the best teams in England losing to a team in the relegation zone, can you?
Verdict: 2-0
Norwich v Wolves
Not enough has been said about how well Norwich have done this season. I mean it really is incredible. Now I've been criticised in the past for some apparently disparaging comments I've made about Norwich fans and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise if I've caused any offence. Luckily I don't think any of them can read so I doubt I've upset them really. Wolves have been absolutely shocking recently. I'm not sure Terry Connor is the man to manage them. Sure he was good in Terry and June but that's no basis for being a football manager is it?
Verdict: 1-0
Sunderland v QPR
After he was booed by his own fans Joey Barton responded by saying form is temporary, class is permanent. But he better hope QPR's form holds out because if their class kicks back in he'll be playing Championship football next season, which will be a real shame because without him the Premier League will be short one more good old fashioned midfielder who isn't afraid to put the boot in to someones face.
Verdict: 1-1
Swansea v Everton
Everton have had a bit of a slump in form recently. There's no shame to losing to Liverpool of course but to not even score against Arsenal's porous defence is a tragedy. Still they should be able to get back on track against this male voice choir masquerading as a football team.
Verdict: 0-2
Stoke v Man City
This will probably be City's toughest test in the run in and their win against Chelsea will give them a boost going into it. However I think Mancini letting Tevez back into the team is a sign of weakness. When a manager told me I was never going to play for a club again, I never played for that club again. And I respect that. He should take a leaf from Tony Pulis's book and challenge any player who disagrees with him to a fight. That'd shut them up sharpish.
Verdict: 1-1
West Brom v Newcastle
Newcastle are still pushing for a Champions League spot and though that might be a bit to much of an ask they should still be able to see off a side managed by Hodgson. This week I heard that he's been touted as a future England manager. The idea is laughable, haven't we had enough foreigners in charge of the national team? Hodgson proved at Liverpool he can't cope with the big jobs, quite frankly anyone who can't get Liverpool into the top four is a joke.
Verdict: 0-2
Man Utd v Fulham
Man Utd have hit form at just the right time and I can't see anyone catching them now. In Wayne Rooney they have easily the best striker in the country at the moment and behind him they have a wealth of good English talent like Scholes and Giggs. With those two in the team I can see them maintaining their success for years to come. Fulham will also be at this match but they might as well not bother.
Verdict: 3-0
Chelsea v Tottenham
What a battle this is going to be. The third best team in the league versus the fourth best team. Tottenham have the England manager in charge of them and thankfully Chelsea have seen the light and appointed an Englishman to be in charge of them. John Terry ably assisted by Frank Lampard is the dream duo. They're the most English couple since Torvill and Dean, but luckily neither of them is a giant, nappy wearing duck. For that reason alone I think John Terry will edge this one.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsenal have been poor all season and quite frankly it's far too late to turn things around now. Villa haven't been at their best all year but there's still plenty of games left for things to change and that change will start here.
Verdict: 1-2
Bolton v Blackburn
When I saw Fabrice Muamba collapse on the pitch last week I was as shocked as anyone. I've never met him, or even heard of him, but I wish him all the best in his recovery. I heard when he woke up he was speaking English and French, which must've been a bit of a worry. Hopefully he's just back to English now. Anyway Bolton have made the right decision to get back to playing football. It's what Muamba would want, I'm sure. And I think they'll win this one for him.
Verdict: 1-0
Liverpool v Wigan
Liverpool won the Carling Cup remember? That proves that they're one of the best teams in England. Proves it. Wigan have been languishing at the bottom of the table all season and I just can't see one of the best teams in England losing to a team in the relegation zone, can you?
Verdict: 2-0
Norwich v Wolves
Not enough has been said about how well Norwich have done this season. I mean it really is incredible. Now I've been criticised in the past for some apparently disparaging comments I've made about Norwich fans and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise if I've caused any offence. Luckily I don't think any of them can read so I doubt I've upset them really. Wolves have been absolutely shocking recently. I'm not sure Terry Connor is the man to manage them. Sure he was good in Terry and June but that's no basis for being a football manager is it?
Verdict: 1-0
Sunderland v QPR
After he was booed by his own fans Joey Barton responded by saying form is temporary, class is permanent. But he better hope QPR's form holds out because if their class kicks back in he'll be playing Championship football next season, which will be a real shame because without him the Premier League will be short one more good old fashioned midfielder who isn't afraid to put the boot in to someones face.
Verdict: 1-1
Swansea v Everton
Everton have had a bit of a slump in form recently. There's no shame to losing to Liverpool of course but to not even score against Arsenal's porous defence is a tragedy. Still they should be able to get back on track against this male voice choir masquerading as a football team.
Verdict: 0-2
Stoke v Man City
This will probably be City's toughest test in the run in and their win against Chelsea will give them a boost going into it. However I think Mancini letting Tevez back into the team is a sign of weakness. When a manager told me I was never going to play for a club again, I never played for that club again. And I respect that. He should take a leaf from Tony Pulis's book and challenge any player who disagrees with him to a fight. That'd shut them up sharpish.
Verdict: 1-1
West Brom v Newcastle
Newcastle are still pushing for a Champions League spot and though that might be a bit to much of an ask they should still be able to see off a side managed by Hodgson. This week I heard that he's been touted as a future England manager. The idea is laughable, haven't we had enough foreigners in charge of the national team? Hodgson proved at Liverpool he can't cope with the big jobs, quite frankly anyone who can't get Liverpool into the top four is a joke.
Verdict: 0-2
Man Utd v Fulham
Man Utd have hit form at just the right time and I can't see anyone catching them now. In Wayne Rooney they have easily the best striker in the country at the moment and behind him they have a wealth of good English talent like Scholes and Giggs. With those two in the team I can see them maintaining their success for years to come. Fulham will also be at this match but they might as well not bother.
Verdict: 3-0
Friday 16 March 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/03/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The thorny issue of goal-line technology has once again reared its head and I for one am thoroughly against it. The only thing that should break up the flow of the game is dangerous tackles and arguments with the ref. Now I know Sepp Blatter is a corrupt Belgian bureaucrat but don't forget he also said that women footballers should wear sexier clothes to get more people to watch the game so he does know what he's talking about football-wise. Anyway there are no Premier League games this week so all my predictions are for the FA cup games.
Everton v Sunderland
Ah the FA Cup, literally the greatest cup competition in the world. Second only to the World Cup in my eyes. And maybe the Carling Cup if Liverpool don't win it, but what are the chances of that happening? Anyway as far as this game goes I think only a really, really good team could beat Everton, especially 3-0. And I'm not sure Sunderland are good enough.
Verdict: 1-1
Fulham v Swansea
It's the FA Cup, for God's sake. Now I don't know what FA stands for but it certainly doesn't mean Welsh Clubs Welcome does it? Fulham will win this one but I can't see them taking much pride from beating a Welsh team in an English club competition can you?
Verdict: 2-0
Wigan v West Brom
More foreign teams ruining the glory of the FA Cup. Quite frankly it's just a shame they can't both lose. In my day cup ties were bloody battles fought to the death, whereas with these teams I can't imagine any of them being willing to die for the cause. Though I wish they all would.
Verdict: 2-2
Tottenham v Bolton
Now this is more like it. What could be more English than the England manager going head to head with whoever the Bolton manager is nowadays? Tottenham's form has been shocking recently but if you’re not up for the cup then you don't to deserve to be called a footballer. FA Cup games need to be taken seriously, that's why I had a 'no spirits' rule the night before a cup match. It was strictly beers and liqueur coffees for me.
Verdict: 2-1
Wolves v Man Utd
Man Utd may have crashed out of the Europa League but I can see them going all the way in the FA Cup. In fact I made a large bet with Steve Claridge that they'd go all the way this season. I'll show that smug little git. Wolves on the other hand will go out here. Terry Connor was good one Take Your Pick but the FA Cup is a whole different kettle of fish.
Verdict: 0-3
Chelsea v Leicester
Now this is what the FA Cup is all about: John Terry. He showed his managerial skills against Napoli and now he can lord it over lowly Leicester too. John Terry is as English as the FA Cup itself and the FA Cup is as English as Jerusalem and Jerusalem is as English as the royal family which is as English as Great Britain itself. God Save John Terry.
Verdict: 4-0
Liverpool v Stoke
After two weeks where Liverpool didn't play at all for some reason they showed no signs of rust when Steven Gerrard single handedly destroyed Everton. Jamie Carragher has said that Stevie G is the greatest player to ever play for Liverpool and I agree, he's the white Messi, in fact he's better because Stevie will be able to do it against Stoke.
Verdict: 3-1
Newcastle v Norwich
Both these teams would love to get their hands on the cup, of course they'd have to graft an extra handle on for Norwich to do that. But to be honest I can't see Norwich beating Newcastle here, Norwich fans are all inbred weirdos whereas I don't think there's ever been a Geordie who wasn't as normal as normal could be. And I think they deserve to see their team do well even if they don't go all the way in the cup.
Verdict: 2-1
Everton v Sunderland
Ah the FA Cup, literally the greatest cup competition in the world. Second only to the World Cup in my eyes. And maybe the Carling Cup if Liverpool don't win it, but what are the chances of that happening? Anyway as far as this game goes I think only a really, really good team could beat Everton, especially 3-0. And I'm not sure Sunderland are good enough.
Verdict: 1-1
Fulham v Swansea
It's the FA Cup, for God's sake. Now I don't know what FA stands for but it certainly doesn't mean Welsh Clubs Welcome does it? Fulham will win this one but I can't see them taking much pride from beating a Welsh team in an English club competition can you?
Verdict: 2-0
Wigan v West Brom
More foreign teams ruining the glory of the FA Cup. Quite frankly it's just a shame they can't both lose. In my day cup ties were bloody battles fought to the death, whereas with these teams I can't imagine any of them being willing to die for the cause. Though I wish they all would.
Verdict: 2-2
Tottenham v Bolton
Now this is more like it. What could be more English than the England manager going head to head with whoever the Bolton manager is nowadays? Tottenham's form has been shocking recently but if you’re not up for the cup then you don't to deserve to be called a footballer. FA Cup games need to be taken seriously, that's why I had a 'no spirits' rule the night before a cup match. It was strictly beers and liqueur coffees for me.
Verdict: 2-1
Wolves v Man Utd
Man Utd may have crashed out of the Europa League but I can see them going all the way in the FA Cup. In fact I made a large bet with Steve Claridge that they'd go all the way this season. I'll show that smug little git. Wolves on the other hand will go out here. Terry Connor was good one Take Your Pick but the FA Cup is a whole different kettle of fish.
Verdict: 0-3
Chelsea v Leicester
Now this is what the FA Cup is all about: John Terry. He showed his managerial skills against Napoli and now he can lord it over lowly Leicester too. John Terry is as English as the FA Cup itself and the FA Cup is as English as Jerusalem and Jerusalem is as English as the royal family which is as English as Great Britain itself. God Save John Terry.
Verdict: 4-0
Liverpool v Stoke
After two weeks where Liverpool didn't play at all for some reason they showed no signs of rust when Steven Gerrard single handedly destroyed Everton. Jamie Carragher has said that Stevie G is the greatest player to ever play for Liverpool and I agree, he's the white Messi, in fact he's better because Stevie will be able to do it against Stoke.
Verdict: 3-1
Newcastle v Norwich
Both these teams would love to get their hands on the cup, of course they'd have to graft an extra handle on for Norwich to do that. But to be honest I can't see Norwich beating Newcastle here, Norwich fans are all inbred weirdos whereas I don't think there's ever been a Geordie who wasn't as normal as normal could be. And I think they deserve to see their team do well even if they don't go all the way in the cup.
Verdict: 2-1
Friday 9 March 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/03/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I don't often comment on football north of the border, mainly because it's awful. And let's face it no footballer of any note has come from there. But I was chatting to my old mate and Liverpool legend, Graeme Souness, and he was telling me about the plight of Rangers, and do you know what I say? Sod 'em. They've got themselves into this mess, they can get themselves out. They should've looked at clubs from England like Chelsea and Liverpool. You wouldn't see them being careless with money.
Bolton v QPR
This is a real six pointer. And if any teams could do with six points right now it's these two, but obviously it can only happen for one of the teams. I think Bolton will just edge it and walk away with all six points here.
Verdict: 2-1
Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa fans will be looking at the teams below them anxiously but they shouldn't worry, all the teams below them are crap. They all try and play football, but you don't get any of that sort of rubbish under McLeish. Villa will be fine. They'll probably lose here though.
Verdict: 0-1
Chelsea v Stoke
So player pressure has forced Andre Villas-Boas out of Chelsea and I say, thank God that the players knew what they were doing. When teams play badly it is always the manager's fault. You can't expect the players to play well if every time they look to the bench for some inspiration they see a ginger 12 year old Spaniard shouting at them. I mean look at it from John Terry's point of view, how embarrassing it must be to have a manager that is so clearly inferior to him in every way? Of course this means that the next manager of Chelsea would have to be John Terry himself because he's the only person in the world that is superior to John Terry. In fact John Terry is so superior to John Terry he makes John Terry look like a French man.
Verdict: 2-0
Sunderland v Liverpool
Is there a better player in the Premier League at the moment than Lee Cattermole? Yes. But that's only because John Terry exists. Cattermole has it all, he understands that tackling is a dying art form but he's a one man renaissance, not for him the new-fangled 'trying to win the ball' approach, he's an old-fashioned kill the man and worry about the consequences afterwards. This season he's been arrested and been sent off after a match has finished that's commitment that is. If I gave out awards for being the most like Dave Pundit he'd come a close runner up to me. However, Liverpool didn't play last week so they'll be fresh for this one and should win it easily.
Verdict: 1-3
Wolves v Blackburn
You have to feel for Terry Connor, he's really been thrown to the wolves. I mean sure in the future he will lead the war against the Terminators but that'll be a breeze compared to keeping Wolves up. Blackburn have shown they're up for the fight and I expect them to say hasta la vista baby to Wolves here. Only in English, obviously.
Verdict: 0-1
Everton v Tottenham
It's the sign of a good team that they can bounce back from defeats and Tottenham have proved they are a great team with their confident demolition of Stevenage. Now I have no idea where Stevenage is but it's no mean feat for a club side like Tottenham to beat any kind of national team. Hang your heads citizens of Stevenage, your entire country couldn't even beat Tottenham. Of course it helps that Tottenham do have the English manager in charge of them I suppose. They'll stuff Everton here. Everton isn't even a place let alone a country.
Verdict: 0-4
Man Utd v West Brom
West Brom have done well recently despite having a foreign manager, and it just goes to show what I always say, it doesn't matter who the manager is it's the players on the pitch that count. But beating Manchester United? Come on, the very thought is laughable. I doubt a foreign manager has ever beaten an Alex Ferguson side.
Verdict: 3-1
Swansea v Man City
Swansea beat Wigan last night which is about as interesting to me as the outcome of a civil war in a third world country. It's foreigners business what they do with their lives and I don't see why us Brits have to hear about it. I'm fed up to the back teeth of things like Comic Relief, Sport Relief and Swansea Relief quite frankly. One thing's for certain though Man City won't give them any relief here. It'll be the footballing equivalent of stealing their children and forcing them to shoot their parents. And I think that's something we can all rejoice in.
Verdict: 0-3
Norwich v Wigan
Norwich couldn't cope with the might of Stoke last week but there's no shame in that. They are fighters and they you can never accuse them of not trying. One thing's for sure Norwich will give 100% against Wigan here. Or 110% if they use all their fingers.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v Newcastle
After Arsenal's humiliating and crushing defeat in the Champions League this week confidence will be at an all time low. Whereas if Newcastle can take the momentum built in last weeks game they should be able to literally beat the crap out of the Gunners. And after that they might win the game too.
Verdict: 0-1
Bolton v QPR
This is a real six pointer. And if any teams could do with six points right now it's these two, but obviously it can only happen for one of the teams. I think Bolton will just edge it and walk away with all six points here.
Verdict: 2-1
Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa fans will be looking at the teams below them anxiously but they shouldn't worry, all the teams below them are crap. They all try and play football, but you don't get any of that sort of rubbish under McLeish. Villa will be fine. They'll probably lose here though.
Verdict: 0-1
Chelsea v Stoke
So player pressure has forced Andre Villas-Boas out of Chelsea and I say, thank God that the players knew what they were doing. When teams play badly it is always the manager's fault. You can't expect the players to play well if every time they look to the bench for some inspiration they see a ginger 12 year old Spaniard shouting at them. I mean look at it from John Terry's point of view, how embarrassing it must be to have a manager that is so clearly inferior to him in every way? Of course this means that the next manager of Chelsea would have to be John Terry himself because he's the only person in the world that is superior to John Terry. In fact John Terry is so superior to John Terry he makes John Terry look like a French man.
Verdict: 2-0
Sunderland v Liverpool
Is there a better player in the Premier League at the moment than Lee Cattermole? Yes. But that's only because John Terry exists. Cattermole has it all, he understands that tackling is a dying art form but he's a one man renaissance, not for him the new-fangled 'trying to win the ball' approach, he's an old-fashioned kill the man and worry about the consequences afterwards. This season he's been arrested and been sent off after a match has finished that's commitment that is. If I gave out awards for being the most like Dave Pundit he'd come a close runner up to me. However, Liverpool didn't play last week so they'll be fresh for this one and should win it easily.
Verdict: 1-3
Wolves v Blackburn
You have to feel for Terry Connor, he's really been thrown to the wolves. I mean sure in the future he will lead the war against the Terminators but that'll be a breeze compared to keeping Wolves up. Blackburn have shown they're up for the fight and I expect them to say hasta la vista baby to Wolves here. Only in English, obviously.
Verdict: 0-1
Everton v Tottenham
It's the sign of a good team that they can bounce back from defeats and Tottenham have proved they are a great team with their confident demolition of Stevenage. Now I have no idea where Stevenage is but it's no mean feat for a club side like Tottenham to beat any kind of national team. Hang your heads citizens of Stevenage, your entire country couldn't even beat Tottenham. Of course it helps that Tottenham do have the English manager in charge of them I suppose. They'll stuff Everton here. Everton isn't even a place let alone a country.
Verdict: 0-4
Man Utd v West Brom
West Brom have done well recently despite having a foreign manager, and it just goes to show what I always say, it doesn't matter who the manager is it's the players on the pitch that count. But beating Manchester United? Come on, the very thought is laughable. I doubt a foreign manager has ever beaten an Alex Ferguson side.
Verdict: 3-1
Swansea v Man City
Swansea beat Wigan last night which is about as interesting to me as the outcome of a civil war in a third world country. It's foreigners business what they do with their lives and I don't see why us Brits have to hear about it. I'm fed up to the back teeth of things like Comic Relief, Sport Relief and Swansea Relief quite frankly. One thing's for certain though Man City won't give them any relief here. It'll be the footballing equivalent of stealing their children and forcing them to shoot their parents. And I think that's something we can all rejoice in.
Verdict: 0-3
Norwich v Wigan
Norwich couldn't cope with the might of Stoke last week but there's no shame in that. They are fighters and they you can never accuse them of not trying. One thing's for sure Norwich will give 100% against Wigan here. Or 110% if they use all their fingers.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v Newcastle
After Arsenal's humiliating and crushing defeat in the Champions League this week confidence will be at an all time low. Whereas if Newcastle can take the momentum built in last weeks game they should be able to literally beat the crap out of the Gunners. And after that they might win the game too.
Verdict: 0-1
Friday 2 March 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/03/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A lot of people don't like the meaningless international friendlies but for the players there's no greater honour than playing for your country. Apart from maybe being able to install a shark tank under your kitchen floor. I myself played three times for Northern Ireland, now I may not have been born there, or even be able to find it on a map, but there was no better day for me than when I wore the green shirt. I made me so proud to be English.
Liverpool v Arsenal
Both of these teams will be on a high after last week's performances but of course Liverpool's was by far the greater achievement, managing to draw against lower league opposition after 120 minutes of football, Wembley really is Anfield South again. This game will be tough for Liverpool without Steven Gerrard, when he starts you know they're going to win, but he picked up a knock against Holland. No such problems for Arsenal, all their players are foreign so don't have to worry about international games. Luckily though Liverpool have won a trophy now so that just proves how much better than Arsenal they are.
Verdict: 3-0
Blackburn v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are struggling at the bottom of the league and the Villa fans must be getting worried that they're getting sucked into the relegation battle. But they shouldn't worry too much because they've got Big Eck. I can't see a manager of his calibre ever getting a team relegated. He's no Gerard Houillier is he? Of course Villa's job hasn't been made any easier by losing their all-English strike force of Bent and Keane but goals don't win games, determination does and as far as that goes both these teams have it in spades. Whatever the result football will be the winner. Football and Blackburn.
Verdict: 2-1
Man City v Bolton
Man City's home form this season has literally been almost perfect. 13 wins out of 13. Bolton on the other hand have been worse than Spanish lager this year. Quite frankly if it needs a lime in it then it's not worth drinking. Give me a good old fashioned British beer like Stella any day.
Verdict: 3-0
QPR v Everton
QPR have struggled this year which I just can't explain, they had the good, old-fashioned battler Neil Warnock in charge and they've replaced him with the good, old-fashioned battler Mark Hughes but it doesn't seem to have made a blind bit of difference. Going on current form Everton should walk this and only a fool would back against them, but I don't actually Everton so I'm going for a QPR win.
Verdict: 2-1
Stoke v Norwich
Tony Pulis this week claimed that the Stoke fans wouldn't allow their team to play fancy football. Well thank God for Stoke fans is all I can say, if only all fans were good, solid citizens like the Stoke boys we wouldn't have to have put up with years of fancy dan foreigners with their skill and ability ruining our league. Norwich won't win here but I think they've done enough already to stay up. They've got two feet planted firmly in the Premiership now and a couple more good results should see them able to get the last one in too.
Verdict: 2-0
West Brom v Chelsea
Andre Villas Boas has said he fears for his job, and so he should, despite the win last weekend he didn't even pick John Terry. That's a sackable offence in my book. I mean what kind of manager could leave out the one-man-spine that is John Terry? A man so British he has his own crumbling empire. A man with so much bulldog spirit that I wouldn't be surprised if his father actually was a bulldog and his mother was the heart of a lion, dipped in grit. Leaving him out of any team for any reason is tantamount to admitting you're an idiot who knows nothing about football. Talking of which Roy Hodgson got lucky last weekend against Sunderland but he won't be so lucky here.
Verdict: 1-3
Wigan v Swansea
This game makes me feel physically sick.
Verdict: 3-3
Newcastle v Sunderland
It seems ages since we had a proper derby game. And they don't get more proper than this two sets of passionate fans, two English managers and twenty-two players all vying to be the first one to get sent off. Magic. It really is too close to call this one but if I was pushed I'd have to say Newcastle could well win it but it might be a draw. Or a Sunderland win. One of those results anyway, that's as much as I can narrow it down.
Verdict: 0-0
Fulham v Wolves
I think Terry Connor is a very good choice of manager for Wolves. I used to love him on Crosswits. Whereas, as far as I know, Martin Jol hasn't presented any game shows. Except maybe Funhouse. Wolves to edge this one.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Man Utd
What a cracker this game will be. Harry Redknapp has had probably his toughest week of the season this week, first he lost to Arsenal and then his England team crashed against the Dutch. Ferguson has his problems from that game too after Smalling suffered a nasty gash to the head. Now I've seen a fair few nasty gashes in my time and I'm sure Smalling will be just fine after a stiff brandy. There's no need for him to get into a flap.
Verdict: 1-2
Liverpool v Arsenal
Both of these teams will be on a high after last week's performances but of course Liverpool's was by far the greater achievement, managing to draw against lower league opposition after 120 minutes of football, Wembley really is Anfield South again. This game will be tough for Liverpool without Steven Gerrard, when he starts you know they're going to win, but he picked up a knock against Holland. No such problems for Arsenal, all their players are foreign so don't have to worry about international games. Luckily though Liverpool have won a trophy now so that just proves how much better than Arsenal they are.
Verdict: 3-0
Blackburn v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are struggling at the bottom of the league and the Villa fans must be getting worried that they're getting sucked into the relegation battle. But they shouldn't worry too much because they've got Big Eck. I can't see a manager of his calibre ever getting a team relegated. He's no Gerard Houillier is he? Of course Villa's job hasn't been made any easier by losing their all-English strike force of Bent and Keane but goals don't win games, determination does and as far as that goes both these teams have it in spades. Whatever the result football will be the winner. Football and Blackburn.
Verdict: 2-1
Man City v Bolton
Man City's home form this season has literally been almost perfect. 13 wins out of 13. Bolton on the other hand have been worse than Spanish lager this year. Quite frankly if it needs a lime in it then it's not worth drinking. Give me a good old fashioned British beer like Stella any day.
Verdict: 3-0
QPR v Everton
QPR have struggled this year which I just can't explain, they had the good, old-fashioned battler Neil Warnock in charge and they've replaced him with the good, old-fashioned battler Mark Hughes but it doesn't seem to have made a blind bit of difference. Going on current form Everton should walk this and only a fool would back against them, but I don't actually Everton so I'm going for a QPR win.
Verdict: 2-1
Stoke v Norwich
Tony Pulis this week claimed that the Stoke fans wouldn't allow their team to play fancy football. Well thank God for Stoke fans is all I can say, if only all fans were good, solid citizens like the Stoke boys we wouldn't have to have put up with years of fancy dan foreigners with their skill and ability ruining our league. Norwich won't win here but I think they've done enough already to stay up. They've got two feet planted firmly in the Premiership now and a couple more good results should see them able to get the last one in too.
Verdict: 2-0
West Brom v Chelsea
Andre Villas Boas has said he fears for his job, and so he should, despite the win last weekend he didn't even pick John Terry. That's a sackable offence in my book. I mean what kind of manager could leave out the one-man-spine that is John Terry? A man so British he has his own crumbling empire. A man with so much bulldog spirit that I wouldn't be surprised if his father actually was a bulldog and his mother was the heart of a lion, dipped in grit. Leaving him out of any team for any reason is tantamount to admitting you're an idiot who knows nothing about football. Talking of which Roy Hodgson got lucky last weekend against Sunderland but he won't be so lucky here.
Verdict: 1-3
Wigan v Swansea
This game makes me feel physically sick.
Verdict: 3-3
Newcastle v Sunderland
It seems ages since we had a proper derby game. And they don't get more proper than this two sets of passionate fans, two English managers and twenty-two players all vying to be the first one to get sent off. Magic. It really is too close to call this one but if I was pushed I'd have to say Newcastle could well win it but it might be a draw. Or a Sunderland win. One of those results anyway, that's as much as I can narrow it down.
Verdict: 0-0
Fulham v Wolves
I think Terry Connor is a very good choice of manager for Wolves. I used to love him on Crosswits. Whereas, as far as I know, Martin Jol hasn't presented any game shows. Except maybe Funhouse. Wolves to edge this one.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Man Utd
What a cracker this game will be. Harry Redknapp has had probably his toughest week of the season this week, first he lost to Arsenal and then his England team crashed against the Dutch. Ferguson has his problems from that game too after Smalling suffered a nasty gash to the head. Now I've seen a fair few nasty gashes in my time and I'm sure Smalling will be just fine after a stiff brandy. There's no need for him to get into a flap.
Verdict: 1-2
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