Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I feel sorry for Marlon King. Don't get me wrong I don't condone violence towards women but in my day if you wanted to give the wife a slap you could bottle it up and then take it out on an opposition player on Saturday. But nowadays they've banned going in studs showing, waist high and from behind. I blame the referees.
Arsenal v Tottenham
This fixture last season ended up 4-4. Which goes to show how poor Arsenal's defence was even then and how strong Tottenham's attack was. And now Spurs' front line is even stronger. Crouch, Defoe and Keane are three of Britain's best strikers. Whereas Arsenal have Van Persie, Arshavin and Eduardo who not only aren't British but at least one of them isn't even a striker.
Verdict 1-2
Bolton v Chelsea
This will be a bruising encounter no doubt but Chelsea will have the edge, because when it comes to bruising that's what John Terry does best. Unlike Marlon King he saves his brutality for the pitch. You wouldn't catch him punching anyone in a club.
Verdict 0-2
Burnley v Hull
In many ways Burnley are this years Hull. They have got some shock wins, have played good football and no one really knows who they are. Or indeed cares.
Verdict 1-0
Everton v Aston Villa
Everton's squad has literally been blown to pieces by injury and because of this they've struggled a bit. Villa on the other hand have a strong squad. Any team that can keep Heskey on the bench is doing something right.
Verdict 0-1
Fulham v Liverpool
Liverpool showed they are still a threat by beating Man Utd last week. It was probably the most fantastic display of the season. And they did it without Gerrard. That just proves how strong they are. I don't want to go overboard but Liverpool are easily the greatest team ever. This week they play Fulham. Quite frankly though it could be Barcelona and Real Madrid at the same time and Liverpool would still win. Last week's result proves that beyond a doubt.
Verdict 0-4
Manchester United v Blackburn
Blackburn have been hit by swine flu but pigs will fly before Big Sam lets some little bug defeat his team. He'll probably bend over backwards to let his best mate Sir Alex win though. That's called respect.
Verdict 2-0
Portsmouth v Wigan
Talking of respect Martinez has none. How dare he insult the great Alex Ferguson? It shows a complete lack of class. Alex Ferguson has done nothing but good in the game and deserves to be treated with the utmost respect. Martinez could learn a lot from Fergie. You wouldn't catch him bad mouthing anyone.
Verdict 2-1
Stoke v Wolves
A wise man once said Football is a funny old game. But he was drunk. And if he was forced to watch this sort of game you can see why.
Verdict 1-1
Sunderland v West Ham
Steve Bruce has done a good job at Sunderland and I expect them to get a good result again here. As long as they go a couple of goals up there's no way West Ham could ever get back from that. They've got no fight.
Verdict 2-0
Birmingham v Man City
City have looked dangerous this season and they could get a hatful here. Birmingham however have struggled to score goals this year and in January I fully expect them to buy a striker. Luckily Emile Heskey could be available.
Verdict 0-3
Friday 30 October 2009
Friday 23 October 2009
Dave Pundit's Predictions 23/10/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I don't really like to get involved in politics but I feel I have to mention Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time. There is no place in this country for racists like him. Personally I think we should stick him on the first plane out of here. And he can take all the foreign footballers that are ruining the British game with him.
Wolves v Aston Villa
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, and this is definitely just two teams from the same area of the country playing each other. Villa have a proud Brit in charge whereas Wolves have an Irishman. Just one reason why Villa will walk it.
Verdict 0-2
Birmingham v Sunderland
Steve Bruce has got Sunderland playing very well recently but this could be a stern test for them. Birmingham don't score many goals but they're strong in the tackle and willing to injure players. And you don't win games with goals.
Verdict 0-0
Burnley v Wigan
Burnley at home are very different to Burnley away. It's like they're two different teams. It reminds me of a guy who drinks in my pub. Out with the lads he's a diamond. Funny, happy and great to be with. But when the wife turns up to drag him home he turns into a pussy cat. You wouldn't catch my wife embarrassing me like that. She just gives me a discreet phone call when it's time for me to go home.
Verdict 1-1
Hull v Portsmouth
Both these teams are already looking down the barrel of the relegation gun. It's far to early to say that no matter what the result both these teams will go down, but I can't see it making a blind bit of difference who wins this one.
Verdict 0-2
Tottenham v Stoke
I have a lot of time for Stoke. They play football the way it's meant to be played. With a grim look of determination present at all times and vast range of passing. And by vast, I mean long.
However I think they'll struggle against Tottenham's British spine of King, Jenas and Keane.
Verdict 2-1
Chelsea v Blackburn
This is the game of the weekend no doubt. Big Sam's warriors coming up against the might of John Terry. John Terry is a man who is so competitive that he can start a fight with a goalpost. That's what we need more of in this country. Have you ever seen a foreigner shout at a goalpost? No. I rest my case.
Verdict 2-0
Bolton v Everton
Let's face it you don't want to go to the Reebok with a depleted squad. By the time the game finishes you probably wont even be able to field a five-a-side team. Everton might as well not turn up.
Verdict 1-0
Liverpool v Manchester United
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, this is about as local as they get. Liverpool will be seething after being robbed in the last four games. So they'll want to win this one. But as it's a derby game I'd be breaking all the rules of punditry if I didn't predict a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Manchester City v Fulham
City are a true English team. Lescott, Barry, Bellamy. These sort of players aren't mercenaries just playing for the money. Quite frankly a lot of players from other clubs could learn from their example. And perhaps Fulham's Egyptian chairman could learn from City's example of how to run a club the British way too.
Verdict 2-1
West Ham v Arsenal
It was Wenger's 60th birthday this week and he couldn't ask for a better present than coming up against a midget Italian and his bunch of foreign fools. Unfortunately for Wenger his own team are a bunch of surrender monkeys as shown against AZ Alkmaar. It'll probably be a foreign style score draw.
Verdict 2-2
Wolves v Aston Villa
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, and this is definitely just two teams from the same area of the country playing each other. Villa have a proud Brit in charge whereas Wolves have an Irishman. Just one reason why Villa will walk it.
Verdict 0-2
Birmingham v Sunderland
Steve Bruce has got Sunderland playing very well recently but this could be a stern test for them. Birmingham don't score many goals but they're strong in the tackle and willing to injure players. And you don't win games with goals.
Verdict 0-0
Burnley v Wigan
Burnley at home are very different to Burnley away. It's like they're two different teams. It reminds me of a guy who drinks in my pub. Out with the lads he's a diamond. Funny, happy and great to be with. But when the wife turns up to drag him home he turns into a pussy cat. You wouldn't catch my wife embarrassing me like that. She just gives me a discreet phone call when it's time for me to go home.
Verdict 1-1
Hull v Portsmouth
Both these teams are already looking down the barrel of the relegation gun. It's far to early to say that no matter what the result both these teams will go down, but I can't see it making a blind bit of difference who wins this one.
Verdict 0-2
Tottenham v Stoke
I have a lot of time for Stoke. They play football the way it's meant to be played. With a grim look of determination present at all times and vast range of passing. And by vast, I mean long.
However I think they'll struggle against Tottenham's British spine of King, Jenas and Keane.
Verdict 2-1
Chelsea v Blackburn
This is the game of the weekend no doubt. Big Sam's warriors coming up against the might of John Terry. John Terry is a man who is so competitive that he can start a fight with a goalpost. That's what we need more of in this country. Have you ever seen a foreigner shout at a goalpost? No. I rest my case.
Verdict 2-0
Bolton v Everton
Let's face it you don't want to go to the Reebok with a depleted squad. By the time the game finishes you probably wont even be able to field a five-a-side team. Everton might as well not turn up.
Verdict 1-0
Liverpool v Manchester United
There are local derbies and then there are local derbies if you know what I mean, this is about as local as they get. Liverpool will be seething after being robbed in the last four games. So they'll want to win this one. But as it's a derby game I'd be breaking all the rules of punditry if I didn't predict a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Manchester City v Fulham
City are a true English team. Lescott, Barry, Bellamy. These sort of players aren't mercenaries just playing for the money. Quite frankly a lot of players from other clubs could learn from their example. And perhaps Fulham's Egyptian chairman could learn from City's example of how to run a club the British way too.
Verdict 2-1
West Ham v Arsenal
It was Wenger's 60th birthday this week and he couldn't ask for a better present than coming up against a midget Italian and his bunch of foreign fools. Unfortunately for Wenger his own team are a bunch of surrender monkeys as shown against AZ Alkmaar. It'll probably be a foreign style score draw.
Verdict 2-2
Friday 16 October 2009
Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/10/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people were hoping that Argentina wouldn't make it to the World Cup finals next year. Personally I like all the big name teams to be there so once they've qualified who cares if piddly little South American teams like Argentina join the party?
Aston Villa v Chelsea
Chelsea haven't had many stern tests yet this season but this could be one of them. Luckily they have John Terry, who has never met a test that could out stern him. He's got more stern than the QE2. Does that even make sense? Who cares? It's John Terry, people. John Terry.
Verdict 0-2
Arsenal v Birmingham
The last time these two met Martin Taylor lunged in clumsily on Eduardo and broke his leg. Effectively ending Arsenal's challenge for the title. It might be a little early in the season for Birmingham to do it again, but let's hope they give it go.
Verdict 1-2
Everton v Wolves
Everton have been missing the English steel of Jagielka at the back but even without him they should be able to easily see off Wolves. Mick McCarthy may be a good old Irish boy but all his blarney, riverdancing and Guinness won't help him in the Premier League. Wolves need a manager with a bit of Northern grit.
Verdict 2-0
Man Utd v Bolton
The Bolton fans aren't keen on Gary Megson. His brand of football is dull, workmanlike and uninspiring. What's not to like? However even Megson's men will struggle against Man Utd, they're not just the champions because they won the league you know, the also have great players. Let's just hope the ref can keep up with them.
Verdict 2-1
Portsmouth v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp will get a lot of stick on his return to Fratton Park but I think that's unfair. He bought in a lot of great players and still made a profit. Seriously I've seen his house, it's huge. He must've made a packet off all those players he brought in.
Verdict 1-3
Stoke v West Ham
Back when I was younger Stoke v West Ham was always a display of beautiful football. But only one of these teams has stuck to the sort of football the purists like to see. Whereas West Ham have let some short-arse foreigner ruin them.
Verdict 1-0
Sunderland v Liverpool
It's far too early to write Liverpool off. They may have lost three games but they've got a couple of genuine world class match winners in their team. Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher. With those two in the team anything is possible. Even with makeweights like Torres.
Verdict 0-2
Blackburn v Burnley
Now this is what football is all about, a passionate Northern derby day. This will be like a clash of the titans, only bigger. It'll be more like two gods going up against each other. It'll be end to end, violent, ugly football. A true, true classic.
Verdict 0-0
Wigan v Man City
This could be a tough game for City. They've had a lot of players away in far-flung places this week so tiredness could be a factor. This is why you shouldn't have all the "world class" foreigners in your squad. You wouldn't have caught the likes of Michael Ball, Darius Vassell and Paul Dickov swanning off on international duty would you?
Verdict 1-1
Fulham v Hull City
Hull need a few good results on the trot if they want to have any hope of staying up. But they'll struggle here against Fulham's English spine of Andy Johnson, Danny Murphy and Brede Hangeland. Wait, Hangeland isn't English. I can't believe I'd make such a stupid mistake, that's never happened before.
Verdict 1-1
Aston Villa v Chelsea
Chelsea haven't had many stern tests yet this season but this could be one of them. Luckily they have John Terry, who has never met a test that could out stern him. He's got more stern than the QE2. Does that even make sense? Who cares? It's John Terry, people. John Terry.
Verdict 0-2
Arsenal v Birmingham
The last time these two met Martin Taylor lunged in clumsily on Eduardo and broke his leg. Effectively ending Arsenal's challenge for the title. It might be a little early in the season for Birmingham to do it again, but let's hope they give it go.
Verdict 1-2
Everton v Wolves
Everton have been missing the English steel of Jagielka at the back but even without him they should be able to easily see off Wolves. Mick McCarthy may be a good old Irish boy but all his blarney, riverdancing and Guinness won't help him in the Premier League. Wolves need a manager with a bit of Northern grit.
Verdict 2-0
Man Utd v Bolton
The Bolton fans aren't keen on Gary Megson. His brand of football is dull, workmanlike and uninspiring. What's not to like? However even Megson's men will struggle against Man Utd, they're not just the champions because they won the league you know, the also have great players. Let's just hope the ref can keep up with them.
Verdict 2-1
Portsmouth v Tottenham
Harry Redknapp will get a lot of stick on his return to Fratton Park but I think that's unfair. He bought in a lot of great players and still made a profit. Seriously I've seen his house, it's huge. He must've made a packet off all those players he brought in.
Verdict 1-3
Stoke v West Ham
Back when I was younger Stoke v West Ham was always a display of beautiful football. But only one of these teams has stuck to the sort of football the purists like to see. Whereas West Ham have let some short-arse foreigner ruin them.
Verdict 1-0
Sunderland v Liverpool
It's far too early to write Liverpool off. They may have lost three games but they've got a couple of genuine world class match winners in their team. Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher. With those two in the team anything is possible. Even with makeweights like Torres.
Verdict 0-2
Blackburn v Burnley
Now this is what football is all about, a passionate Northern derby day. This will be like a clash of the titans, only bigger. It'll be more like two gods going up against each other. It'll be end to end, violent, ugly football. A true, true classic.
Verdict 0-0
Wigan v Man City
This could be a tough game for City. They've had a lot of players away in far-flung places this week so tiredness could be a factor. This is why you shouldn't have all the "world class" foreigners in your squad. You wouldn't have caught the likes of Michael Ball, Darius Vassell and Paul Dickov swanning off on international duty would you?
Verdict 1-1
Fulham v Hull City
Hull need a few good results on the trot if they want to have any hope of staying up. But they'll struggle here against Fulham's English spine of Andy Johnson, Danny Murphy and Brede Hangeland. Wait, Hangeland isn't English. I can't believe I'd make such a stupid mistake, that's never happened before.
Verdict 1-1
Friday 2 October 2009
Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/10/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sometimes I look at the youngsters playing football and I think to myself "Dave, you're getting old." But with age comes wisdom, take Ryan Giggs for example, he may be getting on a bit but he's still canny enough to play his part for Man Utd. How he's never been picked for England I'll never know.
Bolton v Tottenham
Unlike their North London neighbours Tottenham don't need to play football to win games. But their strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane will have to be at their battling best today because Bolton are capable of breaking anybody's spine. And that's how the game should be played.
Verdict 1-1
Burnley v Birmingham
Burnley are formidable at home. Tenacious, committed and full of good old English grit, just like a bulldog. In fact I used to have a bulldog which I fed entirely on grit. He didn't live long but he sure as hell went for the postman. That'll teach the Royal Mail to hire foreigners. I mean who's ever even heard of place called Guernsey?
Verdict 1-0
Hull v Wigan
First Burnley v Birmingham no this. Could this be the grittiest fixture list ever? I'll tell you what; I might not be able to predict the result but I sure as hell know there won't be any icy roads in Hull tonight. Because of the grit, you see. That was a joke. Maybe I should just stick to predictions, I'm far better at them.
Verdict 6-5
Wolves v Portsmouth
A lot of people would struggle to work up any enthusiasm for this match, but not me. I'm not even going to try.
Verdict 1-2
Manchester Utd v Sunderland
Man Utd showed what a good side they are in the Champions League this week. They may have left it late against Wolfsburg but they got the result and that's what matters at this level. I can see them doing exactly the same to Sunderland.
Verdict 3-0
Arsenal v Blackburn
Theo Walcott might be available for this match, which is good because I can't remember the last time an Englishman played for the Gunners. Cliff Bastin probably. It took a long time for Arsenal to open up Olympiakos in midweek and that's just not good enough at this level. Big Sam's Blackburn won't let Arsenal's fruity foreigners off so easily.
Verdict 0-2
Everton v Stoke
Everton struggle going forward. Saha is their best striker but let's face it he's a Man Utd reject. That says a lot about Everton's Champions League aspirations if you ask me. You wouldn't get a team like Man City, say, buying players who couldn't hold down a place at Old Trafford. Stoke have a long throw and that could be the difference here.
Verdict 1-2
West Ham v Fulham
Fulham were unlucky against Arsenal last week whereas West Ham are lucky to even be in the Premiership with Zola in charge. Height isn't everything in management but how can you take a man seriously when he could be twice as tall and you'd still have to kneel down to headbutt him?
Verdict 0-2
Chelsea v Liverpool
Football is a team game and both of these clubs have fantastic players all over the park but this can really be boiled down to Terry v Gerrard. The irresistible force coming up against the immovable object. You can only really see it ending one way: apocalypse. Or a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Aston Villa v Man City
This sort of game is a pundit's nightmare, and a lazy pundit would sit on the fence and call it a draw. But I didn't get my Diploma in Punditry by being lazy. I paid Steve Claridge five grand for it.
Verdict 1-1
Bolton v Tottenham
Unlike their North London neighbours Tottenham don't need to play football to win games. But their strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane will have to be at their battling best today because Bolton are capable of breaking anybody's spine. And that's how the game should be played.
Verdict 1-1
Burnley v Birmingham
Burnley are formidable at home. Tenacious, committed and full of good old English grit, just like a bulldog. In fact I used to have a bulldog which I fed entirely on grit. He didn't live long but he sure as hell went for the postman. That'll teach the Royal Mail to hire foreigners. I mean who's ever even heard of place called Guernsey?
Verdict 1-0
Hull v Wigan
First Burnley v Birmingham no this. Could this be the grittiest fixture list ever? I'll tell you what; I might not be able to predict the result but I sure as hell know there won't be any icy roads in Hull tonight. Because of the grit, you see. That was a joke. Maybe I should just stick to predictions, I'm far better at them.
Verdict 6-5
Wolves v Portsmouth
A lot of people would struggle to work up any enthusiasm for this match, but not me. I'm not even going to try.
Verdict 1-2
Manchester Utd v Sunderland
Man Utd showed what a good side they are in the Champions League this week. They may have left it late against Wolfsburg but they got the result and that's what matters at this level. I can see them doing exactly the same to Sunderland.
Verdict 3-0
Arsenal v Blackburn
Theo Walcott might be available for this match, which is good because I can't remember the last time an Englishman played for the Gunners. Cliff Bastin probably. It took a long time for Arsenal to open up Olympiakos in midweek and that's just not good enough at this level. Big Sam's Blackburn won't let Arsenal's fruity foreigners off so easily.
Verdict 0-2
Everton v Stoke
Everton struggle going forward. Saha is their best striker but let's face it he's a Man Utd reject. That says a lot about Everton's Champions League aspirations if you ask me. You wouldn't get a team like Man City, say, buying players who couldn't hold down a place at Old Trafford. Stoke have a long throw and that could be the difference here.
Verdict 1-2
West Ham v Fulham
Fulham were unlucky against Arsenal last week whereas West Ham are lucky to even be in the Premiership with Zola in charge. Height isn't everything in management but how can you take a man seriously when he could be twice as tall and you'd still have to kneel down to headbutt him?
Verdict 0-2
Chelsea v Liverpool
Football is a team game and both of these clubs have fantastic players all over the park but this can really be boiled down to Terry v Gerrard. The irresistible force coming up against the immovable object. You can only really see it ending one way: apocalypse. Or a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Aston Villa v Man City
This sort of game is a pundit's nightmare, and a lazy pundit would sit on the fence and call it a draw. But I didn't get my Diploma in Punditry by being lazy. I paid Steve Claridge five grand for it.
Verdict 1-1
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