Julian Pundit's Predictions

Hey there, I'm Julian Pundit, my brother used to play for Liverpool, but he probably never mentioned me. We had a bit of a falling out one Christmas when I gave him a salmon pink shirt. Now I never played football but I was the head (and only) cheerleader for my school team so I thought I'd try and fill the gap my late brother left behind. And if there's one thing I'm good at it's filling gaps.

Blackburn v Arsenal
Arsene Wenger is worried about the physical nature of the Blackburn team but I'd love to get physical with them. Apparently they have very long balls. Mmmmmm.
Verdict: 1-0

Blackpool v Fulham
Blackpool aren't my cup of tea. I've had an aversion to pools ever since I went to a party at Michael Barrymore's house. I think Fulham will give them a jolly good trashing the lucky devils.
Verdict 0-3

Chelsea v Stoke
I've always been a big fan of Ashley Cole's but it must be hard for him now his wife has left him, she's simply fabulous. Still if Ashley needs help with his hardship I would bend over backwards for him. I'd bend over forwards too.
Verdict 2-0

Tottenham v Wigan
Tottenham absolutely spanked Young Boys in mid-week. It reminded me of a film I made when I was just out of school actually. I think Wigan will be on the receiving end of a similar punishment.
Verdict 3-1

Wolves v Newcastle
I went for a night out in Newcastle once. I never thought the sight of so many topless men would repulse me so much. Vertical stripes are slimming guys, keep the tops on eh? Apparently Barton has shaved off his moustache too. I don't approve and neither would my brother. It was the one thing we agreed on.
Verdict 1-0

Man Utd v West Ham
There's nothing finer than men united. Although since Ronaldo left I haven't been able to muster up the same sort feeling for them. Still I very idea of trying to muster up similar feelings for Avram Grant makes me sicker than Nicole Ritchie after a big meal.
Verdict 2-0

Bolton v Birmingham
Owen Coyle is trying to inject himself into those rugged Bolton boys and I think that can only be a good thing. Birmingham are strong and full of spunk. This is my kind of match.
Verdict 2-2

Liverpool v West Brom
Well I'm a Liverpool boy as you know, but I'm glad the players don't have the perms anymore. A man should only have a perm if he's pre-op. Speaking of which, I'm sure I used to know Fernando Torres when he was a man.
Verdict 1-0

Sunderland v Man City
Man City have really splashed the cash, and nothing turns a boy's head like a man with money. Although if I had £150m I wouldn't be wasting it on the likes of Yaya Toure, I'd buy David Beckham and lock myself in a room with him. I think I'll have to go for Sunderland for this match though just out of solidarity for Darren Bent.
Verdict 2-1

Aston Villa v Everton
Aston Villa is in Birmingham isn't it? I like Birmingham. I've often taken a stroll down Cadbury Avenue it has to be said. As for the toffeemen I like my men like I like my toffee. Hard and sticky. Ooh I can't come between these two.
Verdict 1-1