Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees the first cup final of the season. As a boy you dreamed of playing in occasions like this. Well not exactly like this, you'd dream of the FA Cup if you were dreaming of anything, but a trophy's a trophy nonetheless and this is the reason you get into football. Well that and the booze and the women obviously.
Chelsea v Bolton
Chelsea are on a bit of a poor run at the moment and it's no coincidence that it's come when John Terry is injured. He is their rock and if you remove a rock then you lose your entire identity. Take Gibraltar for example. It's a fine, upstanding British colony but what would it be without its rock? Spanish that's what. Having said that though even the Spanish could beat this Bolton team.
Verdict: 2-0
Newcastle v Wolves
It's no surprise to me that Wolves are struggling to find a new manager, who'd choose to live in the Midlands? They need a good dependable Englishman to follow Mick McCarthy and his wayward Irish ways, it's a shame Walter Smith turned them down, he'd've been perfect. Newcastle will be far too strong for them here there far too well run a club to mess about with sacking managers half way through a season.
Verdict: 3-1
QPR v Fulham
This has to be the world's least tantalising London derby. In fact the only reason it has any spice at all is because it marks Mark Hughes's return to Craven Cottage where he left fairly inexplicably last year. Thank God for people in football doing inexplicable things eh? Without it we'd have to concentrate on what's going to happen on the pitch and that's going to be godawful quite frankly. In honour of inexplicability I'm going to go and kill and eat a pony.
Verdict: 3-3
West Brom v Sunderland
Sunderland did everyone a favour and knocked Arsenal out of the FA Cup last week and hopefully they can kick seven bells out of West Brom's resident foreigner Roy Hodgson too. I have to say one foreigner did impress me for Sunderland against Arsenal though, that Sebastian Larsson looked pretty good. I bet Arsenal wish they could produce players of his quality.
Verdict: 0-1
Wigan v Aston Villa
Thank God it looks like Wigan are going down. That'll teach them for hiring a French manager. Villa have had a few problems recently but I expect them to get a good win here and give Robbie Keane the send off he deserves. He's proved it doesn't matter how old you are if you're British you're still good enough.
Verdict: 1-2
Man City v Blackburn
The Tevez saga seems to have come to an end and I can say with my hand on heart, thank the Lord that it has. If I'd been forced to see his face splashed all over the papers one more time I might have literally been physically sick. Still now he's back he should help them be able to win ugly. Not that they'll need to against Blackburn of course. Steve Kean is a much better manager than he gets credit for but there's no way he could ever get his team to beat one of the top four.
Verdict: 3-0
Arsenal v Tottenham
This game is all about one thing and one thing only bragging rights and points on the board. Of course Tottenham will be bragging that they've got the England manager as there boss and even though he took some time out to pick the England squad this week I'm sure he's fully focused on Spurs right now. Whatever the result here you can't deny that Redknapp is a far more successful manager than Wenger will ever be.
Verdict: 1-2
Norwich v Man Utd
I think Norwich have surprised many people with how good they've been this season. They've dipped their toe into the waters of the Premiership and decided they liked the temperature so they've plunged the other five toes in too. And all credit to them. They'll still get destroyed by Man Utd though.
Verdict: 0-3
Stoke v Swansea
Thank God Rory Delap's red card has been lifted in time for this game. Until now I thought he was purely a long throw expert but it looks like he can also put in a proper leg breaking tackle too. And if every their was a game where you'd want the Stoke players to break some opposition legs it's this one. Do the Welsh even have legs?
Verdict: 2-0
Cardiff City v Liverpool
It is a travesty that Cardiff are even allowed in this, or any other competition. They're not British and they're not even in the Premier League, why do they exist? Luckily they're facing the mighty Liverpool, who'll show those Welsh bastards who's boss. I predict a Craig Bellamy hat-trick to prove that England is, and always will be, superior to Wales.
Verdict: 0-4
Friday 24 February 2012
Friday 10 February 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 11/02/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It's been quite a week in football, what with Capello resigning and all, and I must say I think the FA have handled this appallingly. I understand the need to crack down on racism but to crack down on John Terry is just ridiculous. That said, I'm glad to see the back of Capello, we need an Englishman in the England job, and hopefully the FA will do the right thing and get Harry Redknapp in. It'll be nice to see the FA's money going into an English bank account for once.
Man Utd v Liverpool
What a game to start the weekend with; the biggest local derby in football. If ever there was a game to wash away the bad taste of all the racism scandals surrounding football at the moment it's this one. There won't be a hint of it here. Just the two best teams in the land going toe-to-toe. The big question is can De Gea withstand the onslaught from the likes of Downing, Carroll and Henderson? The answer is: possibly. But maybe not.
Verdict: 1-1
Blackburn v QPR
It shows you how deep in the mire Blackburn are when they concede seven goals to a mediocre team like Arsenal. Luckily QPR aren't anywhere near good enough to be mediocre yet, they're distinctly average. However I think Mark Hughes could well push them up the league he's got the requisite English grit there's no doubt about it. Plus the signing of Bobby Zamora: the new Geoff Hurst will be a boost. This one will be close but I think Blackburn will edge it.
Verdict: 2-1
Bolton v Wigan
Bolton are an interesting team, sometimes I think they could be a gritty powerhouse of a team like Stoke, they held on to Kevin Davies in the transfer window and he's guaranteed to elbow a few defenders of the park so they obviously have that about them but then they go and sell Gary Cahill and replace him with a Yank. What do Americans know about defence? They can't even pronounce it. Wigan on the other hand aren't interesting at all. In fact the only interesting thing I can think of to do with Wigan is that I have no idea what a Latic is. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned nicknames? Things like The Reds or The Blues or The Mauves? Probably some kind of politically correct uprising from colourblind people has made them illegal or something.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Chelsea
People have questioned whether John Terry will be able to focus on football with a court case looming over him but people forget that he is a rock. Negative thoughts can't penetrate his granite skull. Nothing penetrates that skull. He may no longer be the England captain but he will always be a leader of men armband or no armband. He reminds me of me, I was never the captain of any of the clubs I played for but I was still a leader on and off the pitch, the only thing I need armbands for is swimming.
Verdict: 0-2
Fulham v Stoke
Hopefully this will be a real game for the purists. Lots of pure violence and not much fancy pants passing and movement. It's been a long time since we've seen a real leg breaking challenge, I don't know if it's because defenders are too scared to get stuck in or that attackers aren't putting their legs in the way as much as they used to but I'm hoping for all that to change here. Of course with Fulham having a foreigner in charge it's unlikely but if Pulis has got any sense he'll scythe Jol down on the sidelines just to show his boys the way forward.
Verdict: 0-1
Sunderland v Arsenal
It's not often I say this about an Arsenal player but I do like the look of young Oxlade-Chamberlain, he may be young but he looks strong as an Ox. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if the Arsenal fans start giving him the nickname horse or something. Then again the French eat horses don't they? It's also great timing for him to break through now while Arsenal are on the slide because hopefully Wenger will get the sack and he won't get turned into some kind of skillful winger and ruin all his brute charm. I'm not sure he'll be enough to make the difference against a Martin O'Neill team though he's never needed skill to get his teams playing well.
Verdict: 2-1
Swansea v Norwich
If anywhere can rival Norwich for inbred, animal shaggers it's Wales. But at least Norwich are good old-fashioned English inbred animal shaggers. And I for one would rather have my inbreds in the country pissing out rather outside the country pissing in. Especially as they probably have four cocks or something.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Newcastle
Thank God the courts saw sense and found Redknapp not guilty. I mean what is the world coming to when one man can't give another man £180 grand, put it into an off-shore account and then not get their story straight about what the money was for without raising suspicion? Still at least Redknapp can concentrate on football without any other distractions for a while. This could well be a corking game, Newcastle have been playing well all season and I definitely think if Redknapp turns down the England job then Pardew should get it. I can't see him passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.
Verdict: 1-1
Wolves v West Brom
There seems to be a Midlands derby every other week at the moment, it's getting dull quite frankly. Let's hope one of these teams, preferably the foreigner managed West Brom, can get relegated and reduce the number of Midland derbies in the top league. I for one think it would be far more preferable if we saw the likes of West Ham, Southampton or Birmingham come back up instead.
Verdict: 2-0
Aston Villa v Man City
Aston Villa have to make the most of having Robbie Keane for a couple more games because they'll miss his English grit when it's gone. Now call me crazy, and many psychiatrists have although few of them have walked away afterwards, but I think Villa will edge this one, they just have too much Englishity to be blown apart by some rich foreigners. Rain or shine England keeps going. Unless it snows.
Verdict: 1-0
Man Utd v Liverpool
What a game to start the weekend with; the biggest local derby in football. If ever there was a game to wash away the bad taste of all the racism scandals surrounding football at the moment it's this one. There won't be a hint of it here. Just the two best teams in the land going toe-to-toe. The big question is can De Gea withstand the onslaught from the likes of Downing, Carroll and Henderson? The answer is: possibly. But maybe not.
Verdict: 1-1
Blackburn v QPR
It shows you how deep in the mire Blackburn are when they concede seven goals to a mediocre team like Arsenal. Luckily QPR aren't anywhere near good enough to be mediocre yet, they're distinctly average. However I think Mark Hughes could well push them up the league he's got the requisite English grit there's no doubt about it. Plus the signing of Bobby Zamora: the new Geoff Hurst will be a boost. This one will be close but I think Blackburn will edge it.
Verdict: 2-1
Bolton v Wigan
Bolton are an interesting team, sometimes I think they could be a gritty powerhouse of a team like Stoke, they held on to Kevin Davies in the transfer window and he's guaranteed to elbow a few defenders of the park so they obviously have that about them but then they go and sell Gary Cahill and replace him with a Yank. What do Americans know about defence? They can't even pronounce it. Wigan on the other hand aren't interesting at all. In fact the only interesting thing I can think of to do with Wigan is that I have no idea what a Latic is. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned nicknames? Things like The Reds or The Blues or The Mauves? Probably some kind of politically correct uprising from colourblind people has made them illegal or something.
Verdict: 2-0
Everton v Chelsea
People have questioned whether John Terry will be able to focus on football with a court case looming over him but people forget that he is a rock. Negative thoughts can't penetrate his granite skull. Nothing penetrates that skull. He may no longer be the England captain but he will always be a leader of men armband or no armband. He reminds me of me, I was never the captain of any of the clubs I played for but I was still a leader on and off the pitch, the only thing I need armbands for is swimming.
Verdict: 0-2
Fulham v Stoke
Hopefully this will be a real game for the purists. Lots of pure violence and not much fancy pants passing and movement. It's been a long time since we've seen a real leg breaking challenge, I don't know if it's because defenders are too scared to get stuck in or that attackers aren't putting their legs in the way as much as they used to but I'm hoping for all that to change here. Of course with Fulham having a foreigner in charge it's unlikely but if Pulis has got any sense he'll scythe Jol down on the sidelines just to show his boys the way forward.
Verdict: 0-1
Sunderland v Arsenal
It's not often I say this about an Arsenal player but I do like the look of young Oxlade-Chamberlain, he may be young but he looks strong as an Ox. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if the Arsenal fans start giving him the nickname horse or something. Then again the French eat horses don't they? It's also great timing for him to break through now while Arsenal are on the slide because hopefully Wenger will get the sack and he won't get turned into some kind of skillful winger and ruin all his brute charm. I'm not sure he'll be enough to make the difference against a Martin O'Neill team though he's never needed skill to get his teams playing well.
Verdict: 2-1
Swansea v Norwich
If anywhere can rival Norwich for inbred, animal shaggers it's Wales. But at least Norwich are good old-fashioned English inbred animal shaggers. And I for one would rather have my inbreds in the country pissing out rather outside the country pissing in. Especially as they probably have four cocks or something.
Verdict: 0-1
Tottenham v Newcastle
Thank God the courts saw sense and found Redknapp not guilty. I mean what is the world coming to when one man can't give another man £180 grand, put it into an off-shore account and then not get their story straight about what the money was for without raising suspicion? Still at least Redknapp can concentrate on football without any other distractions for a while. This could well be a corking game, Newcastle have been playing well all season and I definitely think if Redknapp turns down the England job then Pardew should get it. I can't see him passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.
Verdict: 1-1
Wolves v West Brom
There seems to be a Midlands derby every other week at the moment, it's getting dull quite frankly. Let's hope one of these teams, preferably the foreigner managed West Brom, can get relegated and reduce the number of Midland derbies in the top league. I for one think it would be far more preferable if we saw the likes of West Ham, Southampton or Birmingham come back up instead.
Verdict: 2-0
Aston Villa v Man City
Aston Villa have to make the most of having Robbie Keane for a couple more games because they'll miss his English grit when it's gone. Now call me crazy, and many psychiatrists have although few of them have walked away afterwards, but I think Villa will edge this one, they just have too much Englishity to be blown apart by some rich foreigners. Rain or shine England keeps going. Unless it snows.
Verdict: 1-0
Friday 3 February 2012
Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/02/12
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Thank God the transfer window has slammed shut, I can't be doing with all that 'this teams after that player' nonsense and all the breaking news, dear God. The only breaking news I'm interested in is when it's referring to some fragile foreigner's leg.
Arsenal v Blackburn
Arsenal have been pretty lucky this year, they're full of foreigners who can't take a two footed tackle without snapping a fibula but somehow they've still managed to climb their way up to seventh. Luckily we all know their season falls apart in February so I expect Blackburn to batter them here.
Verdict: 0-2
Norwich v Bolton
On one hand Norwich have had a fantastic season so far but on the other hand the job isn't finished yet and on the other hand Norwich have been very good at home but on the the other hand Bolton are improving rapidly. It's a tough one to call this one but I think Norwich might just have the upper hand.
Verdict: 1-0
QPR v Wolves
This is one of those games that when you look at it you assume it's actually a League One match and someone's written the fixture list down wrong. But apparently they are both in the Premier League. Luckily with Mick McCarthy and Mark Hughes at the helm there won't be anyone attempting to play Premier League football. This should be a good old fashioned street fight, and that's what football is all about.
Verdict: 1-1
Stoke v Sunderland
Now THIS is a Premier League game. Martin O'Neill's Sunderland are resurgent like an unstoppable force but they're coming up against the immovable object of Stoke at home. Neither team will give an inch and this entire game will end up being a bloodbath in the centre circle. I'm literally wetting my proverbial pants in excitement.
Verdict: 0-0
West Brom v Swansea
One of these teams is foreign and the other is managed by a foreigner who can barely speak the Queen's English. Y'know it's, like, a tragedy that footy, like, has come to this I tells you. If I could summon up the ability to care I'd probably say this will be some kind of horrendous high scoring draw with a load of goal mouth action and pleasant passages of passing play. Horrific.
Verdict: 3-3
Wigan v Everton
It's looking very bleak for Wigan and we can only hope it looks even bleaker after this fixture. I have nothing against the club per se but they've made their bed by hiring a foreigner and now they have to lie in it. C'est la vie as they say. I personally would never have anything to do with anything that wasn't 100% English. That's why I like David Moyes so much he may be at the club on the wrong side of Liverpool but he knows how to get a team to grind their way through a season.
Verdict: 0-1
Man City v Fulham
Despite losing in midweek I can't see Man City slipping up here. They are far superior to Fulham especially since Fulham have sold the future of English football, Bobby Zamora. It's a ridiculous decision from a manager who might fool some people with his English sounding first name, but he's not fooling me.
Verdict: 3-0
Newcastle v Aston Villa
Newcastle have been playing brilliantly this year, and I can see them getting another good result here. Despite Villa's strong English spine of Dunne, Ireland and Keane they don't seem to have gelled as a team under Alex McLeish. It's probably because he's ginger.
Verdict: 2-1
Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is a real humdinger. Man Utd are once again pushing for the title but going to Chelsea is never easy. I think it's perfectly fair that John Terry's court date has been postponed, if you can't circumvent the law when your the England captain then when can you? People think John Terry might be off his game because of it but as far as I'm concerned he has nothing to worry about, he's as right as right can be and this case will prove that. He'll come out of it whiter than white I'm sure.
Verdict: 1-1
Liverpool v Tottenham
It doesn't get much better than this, two great clubs going for it hammer and tongs. Tottenham sitting in third literally couldn't be better placed and Liverpool are on the up and challenging for fourth, what a top of the table clash this could be. Of course Harry Redknapp has his own off the pitch troubles and I feel for him, I really do. I personally never got big lumps of cash of anyone when I was playing so I don't know what it's like but I remember seeing Bruce Grobbelaar after some guy had paid a massive chunk into his bank account once and he really struggled to play well the next game, threw away two stupid goals as I recall. It's funny what a bit of cash does for your mental state. So this is really the wrong time for him to be facing King Kenny, the finest manager this country has ever produced.
Verdict: 2-1
Arsenal v Blackburn
Arsenal have been pretty lucky this year, they're full of foreigners who can't take a two footed tackle without snapping a fibula but somehow they've still managed to climb their way up to seventh. Luckily we all know their season falls apart in February so I expect Blackburn to batter them here.
Verdict: 0-2
Norwich v Bolton
On one hand Norwich have had a fantastic season so far but on the other hand the job isn't finished yet and on the other hand Norwich have been very good at home but on the the other hand Bolton are improving rapidly. It's a tough one to call this one but I think Norwich might just have the upper hand.
Verdict: 1-0
QPR v Wolves
This is one of those games that when you look at it you assume it's actually a League One match and someone's written the fixture list down wrong. But apparently they are both in the Premier League. Luckily with Mick McCarthy and Mark Hughes at the helm there won't be anyone attempting to play Premier League football. This should be a good old fashioned street fight, and that's what football is all about.
Verdict: 1-1
Stoke v Sunderland
Now THIS is a Premier League game. Martin O'Neill's Sunderland are resurgent like an unstoppable force but they're coming up against the immovable object of Stoke at home. Neither team will give an inch and this entire game will end up being a bloodbath in the centre circle. I'm literally wetting my proverbial pants in excitement.
Verdict: 0-0
West Brom v Swansea
One of these teams is foreign and the other is managed by a foreigner who can barely speak the Queen's English. Y'know it's, like, a tragedy that footy, like, has come to this I tells you. If I could summon up the ability to care I'd probably say this will be some kind of horrendous high scoring draw with a load of goal mouth action and pleasant passages of passing play. Horrific.
Verdict: 3-3
Wigan v Everton
It's looking very bleak for Wigan and we can only hope it looks even bleaker after this fixture. I have nothing against the club per se but they've made their bed by hiring a foreigner and now they have to lie in it. C'est la vie as they say. I personally would never have anything to do with anything that wasn't 100% English. That's why I like David Moyes so much he may be at the club on the wrong side of Liverpool but he knows how to get a team to grind their way through a season.
Verdict: 0-1
Man City v Fulham
Despite losing in midweek I can't see Man City slipping up here. They are far superior to Fulham especially since Fulham have sold the future of English football, Bobby Zamora. It's a ridiculous decision from a manager who might fool some people with his English sounding first name, but he's not fooling me.
Verdict: 3-0
Newcastle v Aston Villa
Newcastle have been playing brilliantly this year, and I can see them getting another good result here. Despite Villa's strong English spine of Dunne, Ireland and Keane they don't seem to have gelled as a team under Alex McLeish. It's probably because he's ginger.
Verdict: 2-1
Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is a real humdinger. Man Utd are once again pushing for the title but going to Chelsea is never easy. I think it's perfectly fair that John Terry's court date has been postponed, if you can't circumvent the law when your the England captain then when can you? People think John Terry might be off his game because of it but as far as I'm concerned he has nothing to worry about, he's as right as right can be and this case will prove that. He'll come out of it whiter than white I'm sure.
Verdict: 1-1
Liverpool v Tottenham
It doesn't get much better than this, two great clubs going for it hammer and tongs. Tottenham sitting in third literally couldn't be better placed and Liverpool are on the up and challenging for fourth, what a top of the table clash this could be. Of course Harry Redknapp has his own off the pitch troubles and I feel for him, I really do. I personally never got big lumps of cash of anyone when I was playing so I don't know what it's like but I remember seeing Bruce Grobbelaar after some guy had paid a massive chunk into his bank account once and he really struggled to play well the next game, threw away two stupid goals as I recall. It's funny what a bit of cash does for your mental state. So this is really the wrong time for him to be facing King Kenny, the finest manager this country has ever produced.
Verdict: 2-1
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