Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Last week my son, the Chester City youth player, got arrested for drink driving. I was livid. He didn't even tell me he was going to the pub. In my day footballers never got in trouble with the law, except for George Best obviously. And me a couple of times. But quite frankly if standing in the middle of a roundabout stark naked except for a maids apron and a traffic cone superglued to your head is illegal then they might as well just ban stag do's altogether.
Middlesbrough v Man Utd
A pundit's job is never easy, except in games like this.
Verdict 0-3
Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games aren't usually about technical skill as they are about violent tackles, gritty challenges and dirty fouls and no one suits that sort of game better than John Terry. John Terry is a derby match all on his own. And not just any old derby match, a proper one. With northern teams.
Verdict 2-0
Man City v Blackburn
Big Sam looks to have saved Blackburn from relegation which I for one never doubted for a second. The man's a tactical genius. He gets his team playing ugly, long ball football and it works. Why bother trying to work out other tactics when you've already perfected the best one? Mark Hughes could learn a thing or two from him. Stop faffing about trying to sign fancy dans like Kaka and Eto'o and get a good old English centre forward in. Is Geoff Horsfield still playing?
Verdict 1-1
Portsmouth v Arsenal
The most notable thing about this game is that it pits England's finest keeper, David James against some foreign bloke who thinks if he gets an English passport we'll pick him for the England team. Manuel Almunia, that's not an English name, and he's not an English man. Just because he has long sleeves on his keeper's jersey he's not fooling anyone, he's still a foreigner and as much as he wishes he came from a good country it just isn't going to happen. I hope he lets in a hatful.
Verdict 2-0
Stoke v West Ham
Tony Pulis has worked miracles at Stoke and in my eyes is a candidate for manager of the season after Alex Ferguson and Big Sam, of course. Gianfranco Zola on the other hand hasn't impressed me at all. If I wanted to see good football I'd move to Spain.
Verdict 1-0
Tottenham v West Brom
Redknapp is another contender for manager of the season. They only had two points when he took over. Can you believe that? That's literally the worst possible amount they could have had. Luckily our 'Arry had the nous to bring in Robbie Keane. When you're struggling it's always best to buy British.
Verdict 2-0
Wigan v Bolton
This has all the hallmarks of a classic. Neither team has anything to play for so hopefully they'll both go for it by sticking ten men behind the ball and just fouling anyone who tries to get it down and play. That's what English football is all about.
Verdict 0-0
Liverpool v Newcastle
It doesn't get any easier for Shearer. If he wasn't so damn brilliant I'd say Newcastle haven't got a prayer. Luckily he's like a messiah for them. Unfortunately Liverpool should have Stevie G back. He's more than a messiah, he's more like Jesus or something.
Verdict 2-1
Sunderland v Everton
Sunderland were awful against West Brom last week. West Brom! They're rubbish. If you're losing to that bunch of no-hopers you know you're in a bad way. I worry for Sunderland, I really do. They may have a Scot in charge but he's got a foreign name and I think it's affected his management skills. This one will go to the Scotsman with a proper name, good old David Moyes.
Verdict 0-1
Aston Villa v Hull
Both these teams started the season well but have finished poorly. Hull needed to be more consistent, like Stoke were. Sadly they haven't got anyone who can throw the ball really far so what chance have they got in football? I can see Villa getting back on track here.
Verdict 2-0
Thursday 30 April 2009
Tuesday 28 April 2009
Dave Pundit on the Champions League Semi-Finals
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This week sees some of the most exciting fixtures the Champions League has ever produced. If it carries on like this every year it may become almost as good as our very own cup competitions.
Three out of the four teams still in it are English which proves that we have the best league in the world. Barcelona have been lucky to get to this stage as they haven't had to face any English - and therefore good - teams. Let's face it if you can't beat a German team then you don't deserve to be in the competition to start with. You wouldn't find any English teams losing to kraut opposition, no matter what competition it was.
Barcelona v Chelsea
Chelsea have the relatively easy task of knocking out the Spaniards. Many people point to threat of Messi but I think Chelsea can contain the little Brazilian. I mean he's a shortarse isn't he? I doubt he even knows how to head a ball and that's a fundamental skill. Of course, Chelsea are missing Ashley Cole and he would have easily coped with Messi, I just don't think Messi would know how to deal with Ashley's tackle. Especially if it came from behind. But even without Cole Chelsea still have the rock that is John Terry. No one gets past John Terry he's like the Great Wall of China, except he's English. The Great Wall of Chelsea maybe. He has all the best attributes of a wall; strong, reliable and totally immobile. However he has to be careful of the referees in Europe, they don't seem to have the required respect for him as the England captain, and as such aren't influenced by him the way English refs are. It's disgraceful really but when you have a Frenchman in charge of UEFA what do you expect?
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Arsenal
Now I'm no fan of Arsenal, but I am a patriotic Englishman so I always support them in Europe. But luckily they're facing Man Utd here so I don't have to. Both teams will be strong going forward but it will be the defence that makes the difference. Utd have probably got the best defence in Europe, full of British greats like Rio Ferdinand, Gary Neville and John O'Shea. Whereas Arsenal rely on Frenchmen like Clichy, Toure and Silvestre. I mean let's face it someone like Silvestre would never play for a team like Man Utd. Man Utd have also had the best possible preparation for this game after demolishing Tottenham who being form North London are like the English equivalent of Arsenal. The Gunners on the other hand had a lucky win against Middlesbrough, who despite starting with an M are nothing like Man Utd.
Verdict 2-1
Finally I'd like to mention Liverpool. Despite not making the Semi Finals they are clearly one of the top four teams in Europe and they should have been in the mix but as ever UEFA fixed the draw to stop an all-English Semi Final. It's a travesty. Liverpool won it in 2005, they should be their by rights. I mean when was the last time Barcelona won it? Where's the justice?
Three out of the four teams still in it are English which proves that we have the best league in the world. Barcelona have been lucky to get to this stage as they haven't had to face any English - and therefore good - teams. Let's face it if you can't beat a German team then you don't deserve to be in the competition to start with. You wouldn't find any English teams losing to kraut opposition, no matter what competition it was.
Barcelona v Chelsea
Chelsea have the relatively easy task of knocking out the Spaniards. Many people point to threat of Messi but I think Chelsea can contain the little Brazilian. I mean he's a shortarse isn't he? I doubt he even knows how to head a ball and that's a fundamental skill. Of course, Chelsea are missing Ashley Cole and he would have easily coped with Messi, I just don't think Messi would know how to deal with Ashley's tackle. Especially if it came from behind. But even without Cole Chelsea still have the rock that is John Terry. No one gets past John Terry he's like the Great Wall of China, except he's English. The Great Wall of Chelsea maybe. He has all the best attributes of a wall; strong, reliable and totally immobile. However he has to be careful of the referees in Europe, they don't seem to have the required respect for him as the England captain, and as such aren't influenced by him the way English refs are. It's disgraceful really but when you have a Frenchman in charge of UEFA what do you expect?
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Arsenal
Now I'm no fan of Arsenal, but I am a patriotic Englishman so I always support them in Europe. But luckily they're facing Man Utd here so I don't have to. Both teams will be strong going forward but it will be the defence that makes the difference. Utd have probably got the best defence in Europe, full of British greats like Rio Ferdinand, Gary Neville and John O'Shea. Whereas Arsenal rely on Frenchmen like Clichy, Toure and Silvestre. I mean let's face it someone like Silvestre would never play for a team like Man Utd. Man Utd have also had the best possible preparation for this game after demolishing Tottenham who being form North London are like the English equivalent of Arsenal. The Gunners on the other hand had a lucky win against Middlesbrough, who despite starting with an M are nothing like Man Utd.
Verdict 2-1
Finally I'd like to mention Liverpool. Despite not making the Semi Finals they are clearly one of the top four teams in Europe and they should have been in the mix but as ever UEFA fixed the draw to stop an all-English Semi Final. It's a travesty. Liverpool won it in 2005, they should be their by rights. I mean when was the last time Barcelona won it? Where's the justice?
Thursday 23 April 2009
Dave Pundits Predictions 23/04/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Steve Claridge phoned me up the other day to say my Diploma in Punditry was running out and I needed to pay an extra two grand to renew it. I laughed in his face and said I'll get someone else to do it cheaper but I've asked around and can't find anyone else who does the diploma so I guess I'll have to cough up the dough. I'm not happy about it though, that's a weeks worth of beer money.
Bolton v Aston Villa
All credit to Bolton, at the start of the season they were playing a dire, ugly brand of football and looked like going down but they've stuck to their guns and that same ugly football has pretty much got them to safety. Villa, on the other hand, got a bit big for their boots started to try and play 'attractive' football and that's been their downfall. Let's hope they don't do anything so daft at the Reebok.
Verdict 0-0
Everton v Man City
Everton seem to have been in 6th place for ever but recently they've been rocketing up the table and a good result here could put them in 5th and it literally doesn't get better than that. Man City are awful away from home so I won't even bother mentioning them. I don't give Man City any chance whatsoever.
Verdict 2-0
Fulham v Stoke
Stoke are another team that have got themselves out of trouble. They are now a stones throw away from trouble, and I don't mean a Rory Delap type throw. I mean a real person throwing a stone. I went to the park this week to see how far I could throw a stone. I forgot to bring a tape measure but I stood at the gate and managed to knock a kid off the swings in the play area which must be about 20 yards or something. I was quite happy with that.
Verdict 1-1
Hull v Liverpool
Liverpool have been scoring goals for fun and with Carragher at the back it's not like they're likely to leak goals or anything. I can see them getting a hatfull here. But can they go on to win the league? Well of course they can, they're Liverpool.
Verdict 0-4
West Brom v Sunderland
West Brom are down and anyone who says different is a fool. They haven't got a hope in hell. Although obviously they're not mathematically relegated of course and it's a fool who writes off a team when they can still get the points for survival. But West Brom are down. They're more down than a pessimist on barbiturates. Down.
Verdict 0-1
West Ham v Chelsea
Petr Cech has conceded that Chelsea can't win the league. But he's foreign. I bet John Terry hasn't given up. Did St George give up when he was fighting the dragon? No he slayed it, like any good Englishman would. Englishmen don't give up, Frenchmen give up. And John Terry is the least French man ever. He makes Winston Churchill look like a garlic muncher.
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Tottenham
What a prospect this is; Ferdinand, Scholes and Rooney vs Woodgate, Jenas and Keane. It's a battle of the British spines. And when two spines collide the only outcome is a great game of football. Or some shattered vertebrae. Either way it'll be great.
Verdict 2-1
Arsenal v Middlesbrough
Everyone's been raving about Arshavin this week and sure he's another technically brilliant player at Arsenal but has he got goals in him? I don't think so. Arsenal need an new Ian Wright, there's not a foreigner in the game who could beat his scoring record. I think this could be an opportunity for Boro to get some much needed points.
Verdict 0-1
Blackburn v Wigan
The fixture list has saved the best 'til last. Or second to last if you count those stupid Monday night fixtures. This will be an absolute beauty. Steve Bruce and Sam Allardyce, does it get any more beautiful than that. Big Sam won't have to worry about foreigners making strange gestures at him here it'll just be good old English swearing and brilliant British football. They should tape this match somehow and show it to the whole world to see what real football is. Sadly that sort of idea is just pure fantasy. But this game will be so real it'll smack you in the face. Literally.
Verdict 0-0
Newcastle v Portsmouth
If Newcastle go down it will be a travesty for English football. They have some of the best fans in the world. If only they had the players to match. But at least with Shearer they've got the manager their fans deserve. He's proved himself with years of fine punditry work, that sort of experience isn't easy to come by. Or cheap. Ask Steve bloody Claridge.
Verdict 1-0
Verdict
Bolton v Aston Villa
All credit to Bolton, at the start of the season they were playing a dire, ugly brand of football and looked like going down but they've stuck to their guns and that same ugly football has pretty much got them to safety. Villa, on the other hand, got a bit big for their boots started to try and play 'attractive' football and that's been their downfall. Let's hope they don't do anything so daft at the Reebok.
Verdict 0-0
Everton v Man City
Everton seem to have been in 6th place for ever but recently they've been rocketing up the table and a good result here could put them in 5th and it literally doesn't get better than that. Man City are awful away from home so I won't even bother mentioning them. I don't give Man City any chance whatsoever.
Verdict 2-0
Fulham v Stoke
Stoke are another team that have got themselves out of trouble. They are now a stones throw away from trouble, and I don't mean a Rory Delap type throw. I mean a real person throwing a stone. I went to the park this week to see how far I could throw a stone. I forgot to bring a tape measure but I stood at the gate and managed to knock a kid off the swings in the play area which must be about 20 yards or something. I was quite happy with that.
Verdict 1-1
Hull v Liverpool
Liverpool have been scoring goals for fun and with Carragher at the back it's not like they're likely to leak goals or anything. I can see them getting a hatfull here. But can they go on to win the league? Well of course they can, they're Liverpool.
Verdict 0-4
West Brom v Sunderland
West Brom are down and anyone who says different is a fool. They haven't got a hope in hell. Although obviously they're not mathematically relegated of course and it's a fool who writes off a team when they can still get the points for survival. But West Brom are down. They're more down than a pessimist on barbiturates. Down.
Verdict 0-1
West Ham v Chelsea
Petr Cech has conceded that Chelsea can't win the league. But he's foreign. I bet John Terry hasn't given up. Did St George give up when he was fighting the dragon? No he slayed it, like any good Englishman would. Englishmen don't give up, Frenchmen give up. And John Terry is the least French man ever. He makes Winston Churchill look like a garlic muncher.
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Tottenham
What a prospect this is; Ferdinand, Scholes and Rooney vs Woodgate, Jenas and Keane. It's a battle of the British spines. And when two spines collide the only outcome is a great game of football. Or some shattered vertebrae. Either way it'll be great.
Verdict 2-1
Arsenal v Middlesbrough
Everyone's been raving about Arshavin this week and sure he's another technically brilliant player at Arsenal but has he got goals in him? I don't think so. Arsenal need an new Ian Wright, there's not a foreigner in the game who could beat his scoring record. I think this could be an opportunity for Boro to get some much needed points.
Verdict 0-1
Blackburn v Wigan
The fixture list has saved the best 'til last. Or second to last if you count those stupid Monday night fixtures. This will be an absolute beauty. Steve Bruce and Sam Allardyce, does it get any more beautiful than that. Big Sam won't have to worry about foreigners making strange gestures at him here it'll just be good old English swearing and brilliant British football. They should tape this match somehow and show it to the whole world to see what real football is. Sadly that sort of idea is just pure fantasy. But this game will be so real it'll smack you in the face. Literally.
Verdict 0-0
Newcastle v Portsmouth
If Newcastle go down it will be a travesty for English football. They have some of the best fans in the world. If only they had the players to match. But at least with Shearer they've got the manager their fans deserve. He's proved himself with years of fine punditry work, that sort of experience isn't easy to come by. Or cheap. Ask Steve bloody Claridge.
Verdict 1-0
Verdict
Friday 17 April 2009
Dave Pundit's Predictions 18/04/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. We're getting to the final sprint in the Premier League and this can be the hardest part of the season. What annoys me though is players who use fatigue as an excuse. In my day players didn't need to be rested, we just made sure we got enough red cards in a season to ensure we had a couple of days off every now and then. Not that I rested of course. If you weren't playing on the Saturday it meant you had the whole weekend to drink. Which is why I have every respect for Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor. But quite frankly if the Scottish FA are going to ban players for drinking and swearing they're going to have a very small pool to pick from.
Arsenal v Chelsea
A lot of people are saying Arsenal are peaking at the right time but this is the game where they'll start to go downhill. Let's face it their foreign fops are going to be no match for John Terry. He's like a peak all on his own. If he was a mountain he'd be Everest except no man could ever mount him. Though many would love too.
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Everton
Everton are the real underdogs in the FA Cup now and there's a very good reason for that; all the other teams are better than them. Except maybe Arsenal. At least Everton's manager is British, but this is the English FA Cup so being British isn't enough, you have to be English, that's why I think Sir Alex's men will win this one.
Verdict 2-1
Aston Villa v West Ham
Villa have been on a slump recently but they need to buck up their ideas if they're going to get fifth. The goals seem to have dried up since they bought Emile Heskey for some reason. Fortunately they're playing West Ham who are managed by an Italian dwarf. So it'll be an easy three points.
Verdict 1-0
Middlesbrough v Fulham
Gareth Southgate got a stay of execution after beating Hull last week. Not that I'd ever condone calling for a managers head. But if I was Chairman he'd be for the chop. He's a disgrace to his country. To be honest I've never had any faith in him since he missed that penalty in '96. I remember being involved in a shoot out for Tranmere, I stood up straight away and the gaffer said "Dave, you're half cut and you've got no chance of scoring so sit down you numpty." Sometimes the best way not to fail is not to try in the first place. Southgate could learn something from that.
Verdict 0-2
Portsmouth v Bolton
It's been an up and down season for these clubs and but I can see both of them doing enough to stay up. Or go down. Or one of them stay up and one go down. The outcome of this match could be decisive. Or not make much difference. But this is where pundits prove they're worth their salt. And I'm certainly worth salt. So this'll be a draw. Or someone will win.
Verdict 0-0
Stoke v Blackburn
When I was told Stoke would be playing in the Premier League I laughed, 'not for long' I thought. But they've shown enough at home to suggest that they could stay up. But I think they'll lose here. Big Sam knows how to get out of a relegation dogfight. I don't mean fight literally of course. But Blackburn will Big Sam will lay down his life before he let's Blackburn go down. Literally.
Verdict 0-1
Sunderland v Hull
Neither of these teams has won for a while and I can't see that changing for at least one of them. To stay in the Premier League takes one thing and one thing only: Determination. And a little bit of luck. Both these teams will be hoping for that here.
Verdict 1-1
Tottenham v Newcastle
Tottenham proved that a new manager can make the world of difference when they replaced Ramos with Redknapp. Did you know they only had two points when our 'Arry took over? Not that he'd ever bring it up himself of course. Now Shearer has to do for Newcastle what Redknapp's done for Spurs; get them into midtable mediocrity. It's what the fans demand. However he'll have to try and work out how to stop Keane first. But if anyone knows how a great British striker's mind works it's Shearer so he might just have the edge here.
Verdict 0-1
Man City v West Brom
I was sad to see Man City go out of the UEFA Cup. Man City are English through and through and seeing them lose to some Polish side is just awful. However they'll pick up the points here because West Brom are pathetic.
Verdict 2-0
Arsenal v Chelsea
A lot of people are saying Arsenal are peaking at the right time but this is the game where they'll start to go downhill. Let's face it their foreign fops are going to be no match for John Terry. He's like a peak all on his own. If he was a mountain he'd be Everest except no man could ever mount him. Though many would love too.
Verdict 0-2
Man Utd v Everton
Everton are the real underdogs in the FA Cup now and there's a very good reason for that; all the other teams are better than them. Except maybe Arsenal. At least Everton's manager is British, but this is the English FA Cup so being British isn't enough, you have to be English, that's why I think Sir Alex's men will win this one.
Verdict 2-1
Aston Villa v West Ham
Villa have been on a slump recently but they need to buck up their ideas if they're going to get fifth. The goals seem to have dried up since they bought Emile Heskey for some reason. Fortunately they're playing West Ham who are managed by an Italian dwarf. So it'll be an easy three points.
Verdict 1-0
Middlesbrough v Fulham
Gareth Southgate got a stay of execution after beating Hull last week. Not that I'd ever condone calling for a managers head. But if I was Chairman he'd be for the chop. He's a disgrace to his country. To be honest I've never had any faith in him since he missed that penalty in '96. I remember being involved in a shoot out for Tranmere, I stood up straight away and the gaffer said "Dave, you're half cut and you've got no chance of scoring so sit down you numpty." Sometimes the best way not to fail is not to try in the first place. Southgate could learn something from that.
Verdict 0-2
Portsmouth v Bolton
It's been an up and down season for these clubs and but I can see both of them doing enough to stay up. Or go down. Or one of them stay up and one go down. The outcome of this match could be decisive. Or not make much difference. But this is where pundits prove they're worth their salt. And I'm certainly worth salt. So this'll be a draw. Or someone will win.
Verdict 0-0
Stoke v Blackburn
When I was told Stoke would be playing in the Premier League I laughed, 'not for long' I thought. But they've shown enough at home to suggest that they could stay up. But I think they'll lose here. Big Sam knows how to get out of a relegation dogfight. I don't mean fight literally of course. But Blackburn will Big Sam will lay down his life before he let's Blackburn go down. Literally.
Verdict 0-1
Sunderland v Hull
Neither of these teams has won for a while and I can't see that changing for at least one of them. To stay in the Premier League takes one thing and one thing only: Determination. And a little bit of luck. Both these teams will be hoping for that here.
Verdict 1-1
Tottenham v Newcastle
Tottenham proved that a new manager can make the world of difference when they replaced Ramos with Redknapp. Did you know they only had two points when our 'Arry took over? Not that he'd ever bring it up himself of course. Now Shearer has to do for Newcastle what Redknapp's done for Spurs; get them into midtable mediocrity. It's what the fans demand. However he'll have to try and work out how to stop Keane first. But if anyone knows how a great British striker's mind works it's Shearer so he might just have the edge here.
Verdict 0-1
Man City v West Brom
I was sad to see Man City go out of the UEFA Cup. Man City are English through and through and seeing them lose to some Polish side is just awful. However they'll pick up the points here because West Brom are pathetic.
Verdict 2-0
Thursday 9 April 2009
Dave Pundit's Easter Predictions
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Punditry, like crime, doesn't take a vacation. But I'm going to take tomorrow off to spend some quality time with my family, right up until 8 o'clock when the pub says kids aren't allowed in the bar anymore. Easter time always throws up some interesting fixtures and coincidentally I tend to throw up over Easter. Too much chocolate I suppose.
Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool will need to bounce back after their unlucky defeat in the Champions League and I think they will. Liverpool have always been a team to focus on the league and I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 2-0
Chelsea v Bolton
Bolton are a team that play proper football, violent and ugly, but they will struggle against Chelsea because no one's as violent and ugly as John Terry. If he'd been alive during the First World War the Germans would've taken one look at him and said "You know what? We're not all that bothered about some Austrian Archduke" and the whole disaster would've been averted.
Verdict 2-0
Middlesbrough v Hull
I'd never call for a managers head but surely Gareth Southgate should have been sacked by now? Where is his teams grit and determination? He has undone all Steve McClaren's great work. It's almost like Southgate manages like a foreigner and I can't remember a time when a manager who wasn't English won anything. Phil Brown could teach him a thing or two and in this game I think he will.
Verdict 1-2
Portsmouth v West Brom
Pompey have struggled this year but I don't think they'll go down. West Brom on the other hand will, because let's face it, West Brom are awful. My granny could play better than them, and she lost her legs in a bizarre threshing incident.
Verdict 1-0
Sunderland v Man Utd
This will be a walk in the park for Man Utd. They'll even have time to stop and feed the ducks. Because they're walking in the park you see? That's the sort of thing you'd do in the park I'd imagine. I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 0-2
Tottenham v West Ham
Both teams will be up for this London derby but Spurs will edge it. Because they're British through and through with players like Jenas, Woodgate and Keane. Tell me what've West Ham ever done for the England team?
Verdict 2-1
Wigan v Arsenal
Arsenal haven't been beaten in 17 games in the league but that doesn't mean they're on form. I can see their lucky run ending here, Wigan will get stuck in and let Arsenal know they're there. Villareal had the right idea, kick 'em hard and the fragile little lambs will go off crying in pain. Just a shame Villareal were to foreign to capitalise on it properly.
Verdict 1-0
Stoke v Newcastle
Alan Shearer is quite rightly a Newcastle legend, how much success did he bring the club? He's also an England great, I bet Newcastle wish they had someone with Shearer's international pedigree up front but I can't think of anyone they've got who could match what Shearer did for his country. However, Stoke don't have any legends so I can't see how they'll get out of the relegation zone I'm afraid.
Verdict 1-2
Aston Villa v Everton
Villa have let everyone down recently by losing the 4th spot, now it looks like they'll be fighting Everton for 5th place. Quite frankly I'm so disappointed in them I'm starting to think that Martin O'Neill isn't as English as we all thought. David Moyes definitely is though so I think it'll be an Everton win here.
Verdict 1-3
Man City v Fulham
Man City are linked with every flashy foreigner under the sun at the moment but they should take a leaf out of Fulham's book. Buy English. Fulham are English through and through from the very top to the very bottom. Man City could learn from that.
Verdict 0-1
Liverpool v Blackburn
Liverpool will need to bounce back after their unlucky defeat in the Champions League and I think they will. Liverpool have always been a team to focus on the league and I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 2-0
Chelsea v Bolton
Bolton are a team that play proper football, violent and ugly, but they will struggle against Chelsea because no one's as violent and ugly as John Terry. If he'd been alive during the First World War the Germans would've taken one look at him and said "You know what? We're not all that bothered about some Austrian Archduke" and the whole disaster would've been averted.
Verdict 2-0
Middlesbrough v Hull
I'd never call for a managers head but surely Gareth Southgate should have been sacked by now? Where is his teams grit and determination? He has undone all Steve McClaren's great work. It's almost like Southgate manages like a foreigner and I can't remember a time when a manager who wasn't English won anything. Phil Brown could teach him a thing or two and in this game I think he will.
Verdict 1-2
Portsmouth v West Brom
Pompey have struggled this year but I don't think they'll go down. West Brom on the other hand will, because let's face it, West Brom are awful. My granny could play better than them, and she lost her legs in a bizarre threshing incident.
Verdict 1-0
Sunderland v Man Utd
This will be a walk in the park for Man Utd. They'll even have time to stop and feed the ducks. Because they're walking in the park you see? That's the sort of thing you'd do in the park I'd imagine. I can't see anyone stopping them picking up another title this year.
Verdict 0-2
Tottenham v West Ham
Both teams will be up for this London derby but Spurs will edge it. Because they're British through and through with players like Jenas, Woodgate and Keane. Tell me what've West Ham ever done for the England team?
Verdict 2-1
Wigan v Arsenal
Arsenal haven't been beaten in 17 games in the league but that doesn't mean they're on form. I can see their lucky run ending here, Wigan will get stuck in and let Arsenal know they're there. Villareal had the right idea, kick 'em hard and the fragile little lambs will go off crying in pain. Just a shame Villareal were to foreign to capitalise on it properly.
Verdict 1-0
Stoke v Newcastle
Alan Shearer is quite rightly a Newcastle legend, how much success did he bring the club? He's also an England great, I bet Newcastle wish they had someone with Shearer's international pedigree up front but I can't think of anyone they've got who could match what Shearer did for his country. However, Stoke don't have any legends so I can't see how they'll get out of the relegation zone I'm afraid.
Verdict 1-2
Aston Villa v Everton
Villa have let everyone down recently by losing the 4th spot, now it looks like they'll be fighting Everton for 5th place. Quite frankly I'm so disappointed in them I'm starting to think that Martin O'Neill isn't as English as we all thought. David Moyes definitely is though so I think it'll be an Everton win here.
Verdict 1-3
Man City v Fulham
Man City are linked with every flashy foreigner under the sun at the moment but they should take a leaf out of Fulham's book. Buy English. Fulham are English through and through from the very top to the very bottom. Man City could learn from that.
Verdict 0-1
Friday 3 April 2009
Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/04/09
Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Earlier in the week my eldest son, Barry, made his debut for Chester City's youth team. He got sent off after 54 minutes for a two footed lunge. I was livid, I told him, Barry, I said, you could've ended that poor lad's career before it had even begun. His strike partner was French, why didn't you go for him? But he's young so he'll learn quick enough not to do that sort of thing while the ref is looking.
Blackburn v Tottenham
Spurs have got Ledley King back to fitness which is a real bonus he makes their already strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane even stronger. However he is injury prone so I'm sure Big Sam will tell his players to get stuck into him. If I was playing I'd go in at about knee height and snap his leg within the first minute just to let him know I'm there.
Verdict 1-1
Arsenal v Man City
One of Arsenal's main problems is their lack of a traditional English centre forward, a big lad up front that they can hump balls up to. They just don't have anyone like that so they have to resort to fancy passing and you don't win anything by passing. If Man City can take advantage of Arsenal's poor form they could get a good win here.
Verdict 2-0
Bolton v Middlesbrough
I'm expecting this to be an absolute cracker. It will literally knock your socks off. It will blow your proverbial mind. There will be hard tackles aplenty and I'm literally about to explode with the excitement. I genuinely think this could be the game of the season.
Verdict 0-0
Hull v Portsmouth
The Portsmouth lads will be travelling a long way for this fixture and it will be galling for them if they come home with nothing. I once travelled all the way to Torquay with Tranmere and we lost because I scored an own goal in the last minute. The lads were so angry and disrespectful considering I was the only player in the team who had been capped at international level. They told me to shove my caps up my arse. I can't imagine the likes of Sol Campbell would take kindly to someone wanting to put something up his arse, so hopefully they'll come away with the points.
Verdict 1-2
Newcastle v Chelsea
Alan Shearer has swapped the pressure and risks of punditry to go into the cosy world of management. The geordies love him but he won't get his dream start here because he's up against John Terry. If John Terry had been in ancient Greece Alexander the Great would've been known as Alexander the Average because no one can compete with JT.
Verdict 0-2
West Brom v Stoke
This is a real six pointer. Maybe even a seven pointer, it's that important. But even with seven points I think they'd struggle to get out of the relegation zone. Because if we're honest both teams are rubbish aren't they?
Verdict 1-1
West Ham v Sunderland
When I heard Zola was going into management I was shocked, he's only 5 foot or something. How can players look up to someone so short? I'd say you should be at least 6 foot to be a manager. I mean if I looked over to the bench for some inspirational tactics and I saw Zola I'd think shouldn't that kid be in school? Sunderland will teach West Ham a lesson here.
Verdict 0-1
Fulham v Liverpool
Liverpool couldn't be in a better position to win the league after beating Man Utd and I can't see them slipping up here. I don't think Fulham have got the players to beat anyone in the top four.
Verdict 0-2
Everton v Wigan
I have great respect for both these teams the managers have done fantastic jobs. With Moyes being Scottish and Bruce being English it also adds a bit of extra spice. It'll be like the English Civil War only with two different countries fighting. It's hard to pick a winner in this one, but luckily I don't have to. It'll be a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Man Utd v Aston Villa
If Villa want to try and get back into fourth place they have to be able to win games like this. Unfortunately Man Utd will really be up for this game. I can't see Villa getting anything here, when was the last time Man Utd lost back to back games? Never, I'd wager.
Verdict 2-0
Blackburn v Tottenham
Spurs have got Ledley King back to fitness which is a real bonus he makes their already strong British spine of Woodgate, Jenas and Keane even stronger. However he is injury prone so I'm sure Big Sam will tell his players to get stuck into him. If I was playing I'd go in at about knee height and snap his leg within the first minute just to let him know I'm there.
Verdict 1-1
Arsenal v Man City
One of Arsenal's main problems is their lack of a traditional English centre forward, a big lad up front that they can hump balls up to. They just don't have anyone like that so they have to resort to fancy passing and you don't win anything by passing. If Man City can take advantage of Arsenal's poor form they could get a good win here.
Verdict 2-0
Bolton v Middlesbrough
I'm expecting this to be an absolute cracker. It will literally knock your socks off. It will blow your proverbial mind. There will be hard tackles aplenty and I'm literally about to explode with the excitement. I genuinely think this could be the game of the season.
Verdict 0-0
Hull v Portsmouth
The Portsmouth lads will be travelling a long way for this fixture and it will be galling for them if they come home with nothing. I once travelled all the way to Torquay with Tranmere and we lost because I scored an own goal in the last minute. The lads were so angry and disrespectful considering I was the only player in the team who had been capped at international level. They told me to shove my caps up my arse. I can't imagine the likes of Sol Campbell would take kindly to someone wanting to put something up his arse, so hopefully they'll come away with the points.
Verdict 1-2
Newcastle v Chelsea
Alan Shearer has swapped the pressure and risks of punditry to go into the cosy world of management. The geordies love him but he won't get his dream start here because he's up against John Terry. If John Terry had been in ancient Greece Alexander the Great would've been known as Alexander the Average because no one can compete with JT.
Verdict 0-2
West Brom v Stoke
This is a real six pointer. Maybe even a seven pointer, it's that important. But even with seven points I think they'd struggle to get out of the relegation zone. Because if we're honest both teams are rubbish aren't they?
Verdict 1-1
West Ham v Sunderland
When I heard Zola was going into management I was shocked, he's only 5 foot or something. How can players look up to someone so short? I'd say you should be at least 6 foot to be a manager. I mean if I looked over to the bench for some inspirational tactics and I saw Zola I'd think shouldn't that kid be in school? Sunderland will teach West Ham a lesson here.
Verdict 0-1
Fulham v Liverpool
Liverpool couldn't be in a better position to win the league after beating Man Utd and I can't see them slipping up here. I don't think Fulham have got the players to beat anyone in the top four.
Verdict 0-2
Everton v Wigan
I have great respect for both these teams the managers have done fantastic jobs. With Moyes being Scottish and Bruce being English it also adds a bit of extra spice. It'll be like the English Civil War only with two different countries fighting. It's hard to pick a winner in this one, but luckily I don't have to. It'll be a draw.
Verdict 1-1
Man Utd v Aston Villa
If Villa want to try and get back into fourth place they have to be able to win games like this. Unfortunately Man Utd will really be up for this game. I can't see Villa getting anything here, when was the last time Man Utd lost back to back games? Never, I'd wager.
Verdict 2-0
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