Dave Pundit

Hi, I'm Dave Doctor. I'm Dave Pundit's doctor. And yes that does make me Dr Doctor. And yes I've heard all the jokes. In fact it's got to the point that when someone says something along the lines of Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains I commit them to an asylum due to the fact that they've just admitted they're delusional. Anyway I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news regarding my patient Dave Pundit. After a successful operation to remove his displaced testicle from his head and then an a slighty less successful one replacing it after he complained we were hopeful that Dave would make a full recovery. Unfortunately the news last week that Roy Hodgson has been made England manager was too much for Dave to take and he has slipped into a coma. His final words before slipping into unconsciousness were: Not another bloody foreigner. We have tried many methods to revive him, some less conventional than others. His brother brought in a tape of his favourite sounds; the sound of the Mersey lapping against the shore, a collection of John Terry interviews and the sound of a Frenchman's fibula snapping. Sadly, nothing has worked so far. So it was suggested that I made a plea to his internet followers to pray for Pundit. I, however, do not believe in prayer, I am a man of science and I can assure you that the only way we can help Dave is through sound medical practice. That or we sacrifice a goat to the Sun God Ra. #sacrificeagoatforpundit

Dave Pundit's Predictions 28/04/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Firstly I'd like to thank all the people who wished me well after my unfortunate collapse last week. I'm still in hospital but the doctors think I should be able to make a complete recovery. Apparently my body had decided to reject my left testicle which then passed into my bloodstream and got lodged in my brain, causing me to go a bit crazy. They removed the testicle from my head but it didn't work, as I kept on thinking that Arsene Wenger had actually done quite a good job at Arsenal. After 3 nights of this horrific delusion I asked the doctors to put the ball back but apparently they'd already sent it off for tests. So now I'm waiting to have a silicon implant put in its place. I will endeavour to ensure that my predictions are as clear and rational as always. Everton v Fulham I would never have predicted Everton to get a result against Man Utd last week but to come back from 4-2 down to clinch a draw was an admirable effort and one that blew the race for the title wide open, but wouldn't it be just like football to see Everton slump to a defeat here against lesser opposition? It's a funny old game. Sorry that's a terrible cliche. It's a funny old game. 110%. Funny 110% old game. Over the moon. Literally. Funny. Moon. Verdict: 0-1 Stoke v Arsenal Ah a true clash of footballing styles the ugly against the beautiful. The physical v technical but who will triumph? STOKE!!!! Can't do it on a wet Wednesday, Tuesday, Saturday, winter, ROSWELL!!!! Stoke. Van Persie's been good this year hasn't he? He brings a touch of class to the premiersh-STOKE!!! BREAK THEIR LEGS YOU GLORIOUS GIANTS! Verdict: 1-0 Sunderland v Bolton Even when I had my grip on sanity I wouldn't have cared about this game. CHEESE STRINGS! Replace my testicle! PLEASE! Verdict: 1-1 Swansea v Wolves Did I ever tell you my father was Welsh? Lovely place it is. Full of beautiful STEAMING ARSEHEADS! I really think Wolves could stay up this year, Terry Thomas has done a wonderful job there. Verdict: 1-3 West Brom v Aston Villa A derby match, and one with added pressure as Villa's slump to the bottom of the league continues. It just goes to show if you park the bus you have to make sure it's big enough to cover the whole goal. FULL OF GRIT. GRIT AND ENGLISHNESS. GRINGLISHNESS. Alex McGRINGLISH will save the Villa. Roy Hodgson you git you killed Liverpool. LIVERPOOL! Verdict: 0-0 Wigan v Newcastle Wig wam bam gonna make you my man. Ah the nurse is here. Would you like to share my wigwam? You're a fine Geordie lass aren't you? You're from Sunderland you say? Never heard of it. These drugs make my arm taste good. Verdict: 1-1 Norwich v Liverpool Liverpool, that's where I grew up you know. I've never been to Norwich but I did once see Delia Smith in a Waterstones. She was signing books, who knew she could write. I don't think she's really from Norwich. Lovely Liverpool. Ferry cross the Mersey. Penny Lane. You'll never walk alone, which is sometimes a shame really. NO IT'S NOT! NO! NOTHING ABOUT LIVERPOOL IS A SHAME! NOT EVEN ANDY CARROLL! Verdict: 0-1 Chelsea v QPR John Terry, the human equivalent of a testicle in the head. He made the ultimate sacrifice for his team, he knew they'd have to get 10 men behind the ball against Barcelona so he made it simple for his teammates by not having that pesky eleventh player on the field making the maths more difficult. Anyway he's not that sort of player you know. If he'd meant to knee Sanchez in the back he would've paralysed him. GRIT! GRIT! GRIT! Verdict: 2-0 Tottenham v Blackburn Tottenham are my team of the year. Except for all the other better teams of course. Not Blackburn though, they smell of wee. Hehehehehehehe I HATE THIS WORLD! Verdict: 3-0 Manchester City v Manchester United NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER NEED BEER. Verdict: 2-2 Hello there, Julian Pundit here again. I can only apologise for my brother. Hopefully he'll die soon. Us Pundit's love a stiffy.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/04/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. What a week for English football as Barcelona were outplayed and outscored by Chelsea. Chelsea didn't waste time with any of that passing the ball nonsense or having shots or any of those tiring things that foreigners do instead of playing the game how it's supposed to be played. You know what they say, if you want to be the best you have to beat the best, well Barcelona failed. Arsenal v Chelsea Chelsea have just proved that tippy tappy football doesn't beat a strong defence, and you don't get much stronger than John Terry. In many ways he's like Popeye, except John Terry doesn't eat spinach, he chews grit and he doesn't care about girls like Olive Oyl. He likes girls with tits. Verdict: 0-2 Blackburn v Norwich This has to be Blackburn's biggest game of the season. Not because Norwich are rivals or because they're one of the big teams, their not, it's a big game because if Blackburn lose this then they'll only have a few games left to turn around their season. It doesn't come much bigger than that. Apart from the other few games obviously. Whatever happens here Blackburn's fate won't be decided until the last game of the season and that will be the biggest game for them. This one, against a bunch of inbreds with 97 digits on all 8 of their hands, will pail into insignificance. Verdict: 1-1 Bolton v Swansea If ever there was a team that deserved to beat Swansea it's Bolton. Because Bolton are English. In fact all teams deserve to beat Swansea. Welsh gits. Verdict: 2-0 Fulham v Wigan People have been banging on about what great form Wigan are in. So they beat Arsenal? Big deal, if you make two foreign teams play each other then one of them is bound to win. Not like English teams. And as for the fact that they play an 'unusual' 3-4-3 formation, so what? My teams often played with 3 in defence after I got sent off. Verdict: 2-1 Newcastle v Stoke In years to come these two fine British institutions will sit at the top of the league looking down at all of the dross beneath them and revelling in their English glory. My English glory doesn't seem to be working at the moment. But on the plus side if you don't come, then you don't have to pay the hooker, that's the way I see it. Verdict: 0-0 QPR v Tottenham Was it a goal, wasn't it a goal? It's impossible to say, unless you're Tottenham in which case you'd say it wasn't. QPR may be down on their luck but I don't think they'll ever know the pain a dodgy decision by a referee like that one. Still it all balances out in the end so Tottenham will probably get all the ref's decisions here. Or they will if Redknapp lower his high moral standards a bit and slip the ref a bung. Verdict: 0-2 Manchester Utd v Everton Redknapp should take a leaf from Fergie's book, he obviously knows how to get the refs to give his team all the decisions. Man City may have tried to buy the league but Fergie just bought the referees. That's why he's the best manager in the world after John Terry. Verdict: 2-1 Liverpool v West Brom Liverpool have won the FA Cup and Carling Cup this season and proved that you don't have to win the league to earn the love and respect of everyone. We should all raise our glasses to the finest team in the world, Liverpool. Now let's hope they destroy Roy Hodgson for once and for all. Literally. I hope they stab him in the eye. Verdict: 8-0 Wolves v Man City STAB HIM IN THE EYE! SCREW YOU HODGSON! I'LL EAT YOUR FACE OFF, WOY! Hi, Julian Pundit here, Dave's brother. I've just found him lying on the kitchen floor, frothing at the mouth. Now I've seen more than my fair share of men with white fluid in their gobs but this didn't look half as good as that. I better take him to hospital. Oh and Man City. I think I've been to that club. I scored. And they will too against those nasty Wolves. I prefer a bear myself. Verdict: 0-3

Dave Pundit's Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A trip to Wembley can only mean one thing: FA Cup Final day. Or that time I went to see Celine Dion. I'll tell you what, she was so good I waited until the encore before I started throwing cups of my urine at the stage.

Liverpool v Everton
So here it is the most hotly anticipated FA Cup Final in recent history. A derby match no less. I'd say it was too close to call if it wasn't for the fact that Liverpool are head and shoulders above Everton. You only have to look at the league to see that. Liverpool are the kind of team that challenge for 4th whereas Everton are mid-table at best. Of course league form counts for nothing in these games but you can't discount the fact that the table doesn't lie, except when it puts Arsenal in 3rd because that can't be true, they've been rubbish all year. You also have to remember that Liverpool have won a cup final already this year so they know what it takes to draw this kind of game and still pick up a trophy and I can see that skill being essential here.
Verdict: 1-1 (Liverpool to win on penalties)

Tottenham v Chelsea
Wait, why are they playing other games on cup final day? I refuse to accept this. This is another shocking decision by the FA. First they don't ban Balotelli for what was a horrendous challenge on some bloke from Arsenal, studs showing, knee high, over the ball and he still couldn't break his leg. There's no place for that in football. And now this, other matches on cup final day. It's outrageous. No wonder John Terry is feigning injury and refusing to play. He's a man of true moral fibre and no mistake. In honour of his brave stand I refuse to make any more predictions.

Announcement

Due to strict religious adherence there will be no Dave Pundit's Predictions over the Four Day Boozefest period.

Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The question of referee bias has reared it's ugly head again and I can't see what all the fuss is about, of course the big teams get all the decisions, that's how it should be. If football was meant to be fair then we wouldn't let idiots be referees. Imagine if penalties were given at Old Trafford, where would it lead? Referees giving fouls when Jamie Carragher hauls someone down in the box? English players penalised for diving? John Terry being sent off in every single match? It would be a travesty. You'd end up with a tinpot team winning the league, or worse, a foreign one like Arsenal or Swansea.

Aston Villa v Chelsea
Aston Villa this season have produced some of the dullest, most defensive, negative football I've ever seen and yet they're still languishing at the bottom of the table. There's just no justice in the world. Chelsea on the other hand have been trying to play a more fluent passing game and it's meant they're struggling to get in the top four. However John Terry's back so he'll sort them out. There won't be any passing when he's in the team. Pass is just another word for surrender and John Terry's no Frenchman. He's English. So English that he grows roses from his chest and bleeds Tetley Tea. Villa haven't got a hope here.
Verdict: 0-1

Everton v West Brom
Someone told me that David Moyes has now been at Everton for over ten years. That's quite an achievement, if he keeps this up he might even make it to a decade. The chances of Roy Hodgson staying at a club for 10 years is just ridiculous. No chairman's that stupid, not even a brummie one. He'll be gone this summer.
Verdict: 2-0

Fulham v Norwich
Both of these clubs have already done enough to keep them from the drop, not mathematically of course but that has nothing to do with football. Football isn't about numbers, it's about getting a greater amount of goals than the other team which equates to a greater accumulation of points in the league table. Where maths comes into that I just can't see it just doesn't add up. Still if either team hits a bad run of form who knows what will happen, they won't go down I don't think there's enough points to play for for that to happen but it could be close. I have no way of working these things out.
Verdict: 1-1

Man City v Sunderland
The pressure looks like it's getting to Man City and that's because of some shaky home form. It's at the part of the season when they can't afford to slip up, if you're going to slip up then you should do it early but City didn't do that, they started the season in blistering form, the fools. It's that sort of inexperience that makes me think they won't win the league this year. Next year they'll know exactly when to be rubbish and they'll do a lot better.
Verdict: 1-1

QPR v Arsenal
Djibril Cisse has been sent off twice since he joined QPR in January but even that commitment hasn't been able to stop them sliding down the table. However they should be able to stop the rot against an Arsenal side who haven't been able to find any sort of consistency this year at all and now Robin Van Persie is in the midst of a goal drought I just can't see where the goals will come from.
Verdict: 1-0

Wigan v Stoke
Wigan's win at Liverpool was the flukiest bit of flukiness since the Earl of Fluke invented fluking. Luckily luck won't have anything to do with this game. Fortune favours the brave and you don't get much braver than Tony Pulis. Who bravely sacrificed paying a speeding ticket for the people of Stoke. With any luck they'll destroy Wigan.
Verdict: 1-0

Wolves v Bolton
It's been a tough time for the Bolton players, I can remember how difficult it is to play when one of your team mates is fighting for his life. You ask yourself if there was anything you could've done, if it was in some way your fault but in the end you have to say to yourself "No. If he hadn't slept with my mother in the first place I never would've stabbed him." Wolves on the other hand have had it easy, they've just had to cope with having their strong British manager, Mick McCarthy, being replaced by some Irish man called Terry O'Connor.
Verdict: 0-2

Newcastle v Liverpool
If someone had told me at the start of the season that this would be a top of the table clash I would've laughed in their face. But that's exactly what it is. This will be an emotional return for Andy Carroll, it'll be difficult for him to play against the team that gave him his start and then allowed him the opportunity to move to the greatest team in the country. Fortunately he'll be on the bench so it won't be so bad.
Verdict: 1-2

Tottenham v Swansea
Tottenham have had a brilliant season by anyone's standards and a few games of poor form doesn't change that. A good season isn't just about how many points you score it's about being the sort of team that the media like. Harry Redknapp knows that. In fact just last week he leant out of his car window to talk to me. What a laugh we had when I had to explain I don't actually work in the McDonald's drive through I was just arguing with the manager about him refusing to allow me to add vodka to a choclolate milkshake to make a cheap White Russian.
Verdict: 2-0

Blackburn v Man Utd
It's winning these sort of games that is the true mark of a champion. Beating the dross is what it's all about. And I can't see Man Utd ever losing to Blackburn. Man Utd are Champions and have always been Champions. Blackburn are not and have never been. That's the difference. This one might be close, end of the season games are always nervy affairs, but I'm sure all the decisions will go in Man Utd's favour so they have nothing to worry about here.
Verdict: 0-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 24/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Sometimes in football something happens that makes you realise that there are more important things in life than the beautiful game. Truly tragic events that unite everyone in grief. Liverpool losing 3-2 to QPR was one of those times. Thank God I've still got my booze to get me through.

Chelsea v Tottenham
What a battle this is going to be. The third best team in the league versus the fourth best team. Tottenham have the England manager in charge of them and thankfully Chelsea have seen the light and appointed an Englishman to be in charge of them. John Terry ably assisted by Frank Lampard is the dream duo. They're the most English couple since Torvill and Dean, but luckily neither of them is a giant, nappy wearing duck. For that reason alone I think John Terry will edge this one.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v Aston Villa
Arsenal have been poor all season and quite frankly it's far too late to turn things around now. Villa haven't been at their best all year but there's still plenty of games left for things to change and that change will start here.
Verdict: 1-2

Bolton v Blackburn
When I saw Fabrice Muamba collapse on the pitch last week I was as shocked as anyone. I've never met him, or even heard of him, but I wish him all the best in his recovery. I heard when he woke up he was speaking English and French, which must've been a bit of a worry. Hopefully he's just back to English now. Anyway Bolton have made the right decision to get back to playing football. It's what Muamba would want, I'm sure. And I think they'll win this one for him.
Verdict: 1-0

Liverpool v Wigan
Liverpool won the Carling Cup remember? That proves that they're one of the best teams in England. Proves it. Wigan have been languishing at the bottom of the table all season and I just can't see one of the best teams in England losing to a team in the relegation zone, can you?
Verdict: 2-0

Norwich v Wolves
Not enough has been said about how well Norwich have done this season. I mean it really is incredible. Now I've been criticised in the past for some apparently disparaging comments I've made about Norwich fans and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise if I've caused any offence. Luckily I don't think any of them can read so I doubt I've upset them really. Wolves have been absolutely shocking recently. I'm not sure Terry Connor is the man to manage them. Sure he was good in Terry and June but that's no basis for being a football manager is it?
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v QPR
After he was booed by his own fans Joey Barton responded by saying form is temporary, class is permanent. But he better hope QPR's form holds out because if their class kicks back in he'll be playing Championship football next season, which will be a real shame because without him the Premier League will be short one more good old fashioned midfielder who isn't afraid to put the boot in to someones face.
Verdict: 1-1

Swansea v Everton
Everton have had a bit of a slump in form recently. There's no shame to losing to Liverpool of course but to not even score against Arsenal's porous defence is a tragedy. Still they should be able to get back on track against this male voice choir masquerading as a football team.
Verdict: 0-2

Stoke v Man City
This will probably be City's toughest test in the run in and their win against Chelsea will give them a boost going into it. However I think Mancini letting Tevez back into the team is a sign of weakness. When a manager told me I was never going to play for a club again, I never played for that club again. And I respect that. He should take a leaf from Tony Pulis's book and challenge any player who disagrees with him to a fight. That'd shut them up sharpish.
Verdict: 1-1

West Brom v Newcastle
Newcastle are still pushing for a Champions League spot and though that might be a bit to much of an ask they should still be able to see off a side managed by Hodgson. This week I heard that he's been touted as a future England manager. The idea is laughable, haven't we had enough foreigners in charge of the national team? Hodgson proved at Liverpool he can't cope with the big jobs, quite frankly anyone who can't get Liverpool into the top four is a joke.
Verdict: 0-2

Man Utd v Fulham
Man Utd have hit form at just the right time and I can't see anyone catching them now. In Wayne Rooney they have easily the best striker in the country at the moment and behind him they have a wealth of good English talent like Scholes and Giggs. With those two in the team I can see them maintaining their success for years to come. Fulham will also be at this match but they might as well not bother.
Verdict: 3-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 17/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The thorny issue of goal-line technology has once again reared its head and I for one am thoroughly against it. The only thing that should break up the flow of the game is dangerous tackles and arguments with the ref. Now I know Sepp Blatter is a corrupt Belgian bureaucrat but don't forget he also said that women footballers should wear sexier clothes to get more people to watch the game so he does know what he's talking about football-wise. Anyway there are no Premier League games this week so all my predictions are for the FA cup games.

Everton v Sunderland
Ah the FA Cup, literally the greatest cup competition in the world. Second only to the World Cup in my eyes. And maybe the Carling Cup if Liverpool don't win it, but what are the chances of that happening? Anyway as far as this game goes I think only a really, really good team could beat Everton, especially 3-0. And I'm not sure Sunderland are good enough.
Verdict: 1-1

Fulham v Swansea
It's the FA Cup, for God's sake. Now I don't know what FA stands for but it certainly doesn't mean Welsh Clubs Welcome does it? Fulham will win this one but I can't see them taking much pride from beating a Welsh team in an English club competition can you?
Verdict: 2-0

Wigan v West Brom
More foreign teams ruining the glory of the FA Cup. Quite frankly it's just a shame they can't both lose. In my day cup ties were bloody battles fought to the death, whereas with these teams I can't imagine any of them being willing to die for the cause. Though I wish they all would.
Verdict: 2-2

Tottenham v Bolton
Now this is more like it. What could be more English than the England manager going head to head with whoever the Bolton manager is nowadays? Tottenham's form has been shocking recently but if you’re not up for the cup then you don't to deserve to be called a footballer. FA Cup games need to be taken seriously, that's why I had a 'no spirits' rule the night before a cup match. It was strictly beers and liqueur coffees for me.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Man Utd
Man Utd may have crashed out of the Europa League but I can see them going all the way in the FA Cup. In fact I made a large bet with Steve Claridge that they'd go all the way this season. I'll show that smug little git. Wolves on the other hand will go out here. Terry Connor was good one Take Your Pick but the FA Cup is a whole different kettle of fish.
Verdict: 0-3

Chelsea v Leicester
Now this is what the FA Cup is all about: John Terry. He showed his managerial skills against Napoli and now he can lord it over lowly Leicester too. John Terry is as English as the FA Cup itself and the FA Cup is as English as Jerusalem and Jerusalem is as English as the royal family which is as English as Great Britain itself. God Save John Terry.
Verdict: 4-0

Liverpool v Stoke
After two weeks where Liverpool didn't play at all for some reason they showed no signs of rust when Steven Gerrard single handedly destroyed Everton. Jamie Carragher has said that Stevie G is the greatest player to ever play for Liverpool and I agree, he's the white Messi, in fact he's better because Stevie will be able to do it against Stoke.
Verdict: 3-1

Newcastle v Norwich
Both these teams would love to get their hands on the cup, of course they'd have to graft an extra handle on for Norwich to do that. But to be honest I can't see Norwich beating Newcastle here, Norwich fans are all inbred weirdos whereas I don't think there's ever been a Geordie who wasn't as normal as normal could be. And I think they deserve to see their team do well even if they don't go all the way in the cup.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 10/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. I don't often comment on football north of the border, mainly because it's awful. And let's face it no footballer of any note has come from there. But I was chatting to my old mate and Liverpool legend, Graeme Souness, and he was telling me about the plight of Rangers, and do you know what I say? Sod 'em. They've got themselves into this mess, they can get themselves out. They should've looked at clubs from England like Chelsea and Liverpool. You wouldn't see them being careless with money.

Bolton v QPR
This is a real six pointer. And if any teams could do with six points right now it's these two, but obviously it can only happen for one of the teams. I think Bolton will just edge it and walk away with all six points here.
Verdict: 2-1

Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa fans will be looking at the teams below them anxiously but they shouldn't worry, all the teams below them are crap. They all try and play football, but you don't get any of that sort of rubbish under McLeish. Villa will be fine. They'll probably lose here though.
Verdict: 0-1

Chelsea v Stoke
So player pressure has forced Andre Villas-Boas out of Chelsea and I say, thank God that the players knew what they were doing. When teams play badly it is always the manager's fault. You can't expect the players to play well if every time they look to the bench for some inspiration they see a ginger 12 year old Spaniard shouting at them. I mean look at it from John Terry's point of view, how embarrassing it must be to have a manager that is so clearly inferior to him in every way? Of course this means that the next manager of Chelsea would have to be John Terry himself because he's the only person in the world that is superior to John Terry. In fact John Terry is so superior to John Terry he makes John Terry look like a French man.
Verdict: 2-0

Sunderland v Liverpool
Is there a better player in the Premier League at the moment than Lee Cattermole? Yes. But that's only because John Terry exists. Cattermole has it all, he understands that tackling is a dying art form but he's a one man renaissance, not for him the new-fangled 'trying to win the ball' approach, he's an old-fashioned kill the man and worry about the consequences afterwards. This season he's been arrested and been sent off after a match has finished that's commitment that is. If I gave out awards for being the most like Dave Pundit he'd come a close runner up to me. However, Liverpool didn't play last week so they'll be fresh for this one and should win it easily.
Verdict: 1-3

Wolves v Blackburn
You have to feel for Terry Connor, he's really been thrown to the wolves. I mean sure in the future he will lead the war against the Terminators but that'll be a breeze compared to keeping Wolves up. Blackburn have shown they're up for the fight and I expect them to say hasta la vista baby to Wolves here. Only in English, obviously.
Verdict: 0-1

Everton v Tottenham
It's the sign of a good team that they can bounce back from defeats and Tottenham have proved they are a great team with their confident demolition of Stevenage. Now I have no idea where Stevenage is but it's no mean feat for a club side like Tottenham to beat any kind of national team. Hang your heads citizens of Stevenage, your entire country couldn't even beat Tottenham. Of course it helps that Tottenham do have the English manager in charge of them I suppose. They'll stuff Everton here. Everton isn't even a place let alone a country.
Verdict: 0-4

Man Utd v West Brom
West Brom have done well recently despite having a foreign manager, and it just goes to show what I always say, it doesn't matter who the manager is it's the players on the pitch that count. But beating Manchester United? Come on, the very thought is laughable. I doubt a foreign manager has ever beaten an Alex Ferguson side.
Verdict: 3-1

Swansea v Man City
Swansea beat Wigan last night which is about as interesting to me as the outcome of a civil war in a third world country. It's foreigners business what they do with their lives and I don't see why us Brits have to hear about it. I'm fed up to the back teeth of things like Comic Relief, Sport Relief and Swansea Relief quite frankly. One thing's for certain though Man City won't give them any relief here. It'll be the footballing equivalent of stealing their children and forcing them to shoot their parents. And I think that's something we can all rejoice in.
Verdict: 0-3

Norwich v Wigan
Norwich couldn't cope with the might of Stoke last week but there's no shame in that. They are fighters and they you can never accuse them of not trying. One thing's for sure Norwich will give 100% against Wigan here. Or 110% if they use all their fingers.
Verdict: 2-1

Arsenal v Newcastle
After Arsenal's humiliating and crushing defeat in the Champions League this week confidence will be at an all time low. Whereas if Newcastle can take the momentum built in last weeks game they should be able to literally beat the crap out of the Gunners. And after that they might win the game too.
Verdict: 0-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 03/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. A lot of people don't like the meaningless international friendlies but for the players there's no greater honour than playing for your country. Apart from maybe being able to install a shark tank under your kitchen floor. I myself played three times for Northern Ireland, now I may not have been born there, or even be able to find it on a map, but there was no better day for me than when I wore the green shirt. I made me so proud to be English.

Liverpool v Arsenal
Both of these teams will be on a high after last week's performances but of course Liverpool's was by far the greater achievement, managing to draw against lower league opposition after 120 minutes of football, Wembley really is Anfield South again. This game will be tough for Liverpool without Steven Gerrard, when he starts you know they're going to win, but he picked up a knock against Holland. No such problems for Arsenal, all their players are foreign so don't have to worry about international games. Luckily though Liverpool have won a trophy now so that just proves how much better than Arsenal they are.
Verdict: 3-0

Blackburn v Aston Villa
Both of these teams are struggling at the bottom of the league and the Villa fans must be getting worried that they're getting sucked into the relegation battle. But they shouldn't worry too much because they've got Big Eck. I can't see a manager of his calibre ever getting a team relegated. He's no Gerard Houillier is he? Of course Villa's job hasn't been made any easier by losing their all-English strike force of Bent and Keane but goals don't win games, determination does and as far as that goes both these teams have it in spades. Whatever the result football will be the winner. Football and Blackburn.
Verdict: 2-1

Man City v Bolton
Man City's home form this season has literally been almost perfect. 13 wins out of 13. Bolton on the other hand have been worse than Spanish lager this year. Quite frankly if it needs a lime in it then it's not worth drinking. Give me a good old fashioned British beer like Stella any day.
Verdict: 3-0

QPR v Everton
QPR have struggled this year which I just can't explain, they had the good, old-fashioned battler Neil Warnock in charge and they've replaced him with the good, old-fashioned battler Mark Hughes but it doesn't seem to have made a blind bit of difference. Going on current form Everton should walk this and only a fool would back against them, but I don't actually Everton so I'm going for a QPR win.
Verdict: 2-1

Stoke v Norwich
Tony Pulis this week claimed that the Stoke fans wouldn't allow their team to play fancy football. Well thank God for Stoke fans is all I can say, if only all fans were good, solid citizens like the Stoke boys we wouldn't have to have put up with years of fancy dan foreigners with their skill and ability ruining our league. Norwich won't win here but I think they've done enough already to stay up. They've got two feet planted firmly in the Premiership now and a couple more good results should see them able to get the last one in too.
Verdict: 2-0

West Brom v Chelsea
Andre Villas Boas has said he fears for his job, and so he should, despite the win last weekend he didn't even pick John Terry. That's a sackable offence in my book. I mean what kind of manager could leave out the one-man-spine that is John Terry? A man so British he has his own crumbling empire. A man with so much bulldog spirit that I wouldn't be surprised if his father actually was a bulldog and his mother was the heart of a lion, dipped in grit. Leaving him out of any team for any reason is tantamount to admitting you're an idiot who knows nothing about football. Talking of which Roy Hodgson got lucky last weekend against Sunderland but he won't be so lucky here.
Verdict: 1-3

Wigan v Swansea
This game makes me feel physically sick.
Verdict: 3-3

Newcastle v Sunderland
It seems ages since we had a proper derby game. And they don't get more proper than this two sets of passionate fans, two English managers and twenty-two players all vying to be the first one to get sent off. Magic. It really is too close to call this one but if I was pushed I'd have to say Newcastle could well win it but it might be a draw. Or a Sunderland win. One of those results anyway, that's as much as I can narrow it down.
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Wolves
I think Terry Connor is a very good choice of manager for Wolves. I used to love him on Crosswits. Whereas, as far as I know, Martin Jol hasn't presented any game shows. Except maybe Funhouse. Wolves to edge this one.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Man Utd
What a cracker this game will be. Harry Redknapp has had probably his toughest week of the season this week, first he lost to Arsenal and then his England team crashed against the Dutch. Ferguson has his problems from that game too after Smalling suffered a nasty gash to the head. Now I've seen a fair few nasty gashes in my time and I'm sure Smalling will be just fine after a stiff brandy. There's no need for him to get into a flap.
Verdict: 1-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. This weekend sees the first cup final of the season. As a boy you dreamed of playing in occasions like this. Well not exactly like this, you'd dream of the FA Cup if you were dreaming of anything, but a trophy's a trophy nonetheless and this is the reason you get into football. Well that and the booze and the women obviously.

Chelsea v Bolton
Chelsea are on a bit of a poor run at the moment and it's no coincidence that it's come when John Terry is injured. He is their rock and if you remove a rock then you lose your entire identity. Take Gibraltar for example. It's a fine, upstanding British colony but what would it be without its rock? Spanish that's what. Having said that though even the Spanish could beat this Bolton team.
Verdict: 2-0

Newcastle v Wolves
It's no surprise to me that Wolves are struggling to find a new manager, who'd choose to live in the Midlands? They need a good dependable Englishman to follow Mick McCarthy and his wayward Irish ways, it's a shame Walter Smith turned them down, he'd've been perfect. Newcastle will be far too strong for them here there far too well run a club to mess about with sacking managers half way through a season.
Verdict: 3-1

QPR v Fulham
This has to be the world's least tantalising London derby. In fact the only reason it has any spice at all is because it marks Mark Hughes's return to Craven Cottage where he left fairly inexplicably last year. Thank God for people in football doing inexplicable things eh? Without it we'd have to concentrate on what's going to happen on the pitch and that's going to be godawful quite frankly. In honour of inexplicability I'm going to go and kill and eat a pony.
Verdict: 3-3

West Brom v Sunderland
Sunderland did everyone a favour and knocked Arsenal out of the FA Cup last week and hopefully they can kick seven bells out of West Brom's resident foreigner Roy Hodgson too. I have to say one foreigner did impress me for Sunderland against Arsenal though, that Sebastian Larsson looked pretty good. I bet Arsenal wish they could produce players of his quality.
Verdict: 0-1

Wigan v Aston Villa
Thank God it looks like Wigan are going down. That'll teach them for hiring a French manager. Villa have had a few problems recently but I expect them to get a good win here and give Robbie Keane the send off he deserves. He's proved it doesn't matter how old you are if you're British you're still good enough.
Verdict: 1-2

Man City v Blackburn
The Tevez saga seems to have come to an end and I can say with my hand on heart, thank the Lord that it has. If I'd been forced to see his face splashed all over the papers one more time I might have literally been physically sick. Still now he's back he should help them be able to win ugly. Not that they'll need to against Blackburn of course. Steve Kean is a much better manager than he gets credit for but there's no way he could ever get his team to beat one of the top four.
Verdict: 3-0

Arsenal v Tottenham
This game is all about one thing and one thing only bragging rights and points on the board. Of course Tottenham will be bragging that they've got the England manager as there boss and even though he took some time out to pick the England squad this week I'm sure he's fully focused on Spurs right now. Whatever the result here you can't deny that Redknapp is a far more successful manager than Wenger will ever be.
Verdict: 1-2

Norwich v Man Utd
I think Norwich have surprised many people with how good they've been this season. They've dipped their toe into the waters of the Premiership and decided they liked the temperature so they've plunged the other five toes in too. And all credit to them. They'll still get destroyed by Man Utd though.
Verdict: 0-3

Stoke v Swansea
Thank God Rory Delap's red card has been lifted in time for this game. Until now I thought he was purely a long throw expert but it looks like he can also put in a proper leg breaking tackle too. And if every their was a game where you'd want the Stoke players to break some opposition legs it's this one. Do the Welsh even have legs?
Verdict: 2-0

Cardiff City v Liverpool
It is a travesty that Cardiff are even allowed in this, or any other competition. They're not British and they're not even in the Premier League, why do they exist? Luckily they're facing the mighty Liverpool, who'll show those Welsh bastards who's boss. I predict a Craig Bellamy hat-trick to prove that England is, and always will be, superior to Wales.
Verdict: 0-4

Dave Pundit's Predictions 11/02/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. It's been quite a week in football, what with Capello resigning and all, and I must say I think the FA have handled this appallingly. I understand the need to crack down on racism but to crack down on John Terry is just ridiculous. That said, I'm glad to see the back of Capello, we need an Englishman in the England job, and hopefully the FA will do the right thing and get Harry Redknapp in. It'll be nice to see the FA's money going into an English bank account for once.

Man Utd v Liverpool
What a game to start the weekend with; the biggest local derby in football. If ever there was a game to wash away the bad taste of all the racism scandals surrounding football at the moment it's this one. There won't be a hint of it here. Just the two best teams in the land going toe-to-toe. The big question is can De Gea withstand the onslaught from the likes of Downing, Carroll and Henderson? The answer is: possibly. But maybe not.
Verdict: 1-1

Blackburn v QPR
It shows you how deep in the mire Blackburn are when they concede seven goals to a mediocre team like Arsenal. Luckily QPR aren't anywhere near good enough to be mediocre yet, they're distinctly average. However I think Mark Hughes could well push them up the league he's got the requisite English grit there's no doubt about it. Plus the signing of Bobby Zamora: the new Geoff Hurst will be a boost. This one will be close but I think Blackburn will edge it.
Verdict: 2-1

Bolton v Wigan
Bolton are an interesting team, sometimes I think they could be a gritty powerhouse of a team like Stoke, they held on to Kevin Davies in the transfer window and he's guaranteed to elbow a few defenders of the park so they obviously have that about them but then they go and sell Gary Cahill and replace him with a Yank. What do Americans know about defence? They can't even pronounce it. Wigan on the other hand aren't interesting at all. In fact the only interesting thing I can think of to do with Wigan is that I have no idea what a Latic is. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned nicknames? Things like The Reds or The Blues or The Mauves? Probably some kind of politically correct uprising from colourblind people has made them illegal or something.
Verdict: 2-0

Everton v Chelsea
People have questioned whether John Terry will be able to focus on football with a court case looming over him but people forget that he is a rock. Negative thoughts can't penetrate his granite skull. Nothing penetrates that skull. He may no longer be the England captain but he will always be a leader of men armband or no armband. He reminds me of me, I was never the captain of any of the clubs I played for but I was still a leader on and off the pitch, the only thing I need armbands for is swimming.
Verdict: 0-2

Fulham v Stoke
Hopefully this will be a real game for the purists. Lots of pure violence and not much fancy pants passing and movement. It's been a long time since we've seen a real leg breaking challenge, I don't know if it's because defenders are too scared to get stuck in or that attackers aren't putting their legs in the way as much as they used to but I'm hoping for all that to change here. Of course with Fulham having a foreigner in charge it's unlikely but if Pulis has got any sense he'll scythe Jol down on the sidelines just to show his boys the way forward.
Verdict: 0-1

Sunderland v Arsenal
It's not often I say this about an Arsenal player but I do like the look of young Oxlade-Chamberlain, he may be young but he looks strong as an Ox. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if the Arsenal fans start giving him the nickname horse or something. Then again the French eat horses don't they? It's also great timing for him to break through now while Arsenal are on the slide because hopefully Wenger will get the sack and he won't get turned into some kind of skillful winger and ruin all his brute charm. I'm not sure he'll be enough to make the difference against a Martin O'Neill team though he's never needed skill to get his teams playing well.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Norwich
If anywhere can rival Norwich for inbred, animal shaggers it's Wales. But at least Norwich are good old-fashioned English inbred animal shaggers. And I for one would rather have my inbreds in the country pissing out rather outside the country pissing in. Especially as they probably have four cocks or something.
Verdict: 0-1

Tottenham v Newcastle
Thank God the courts saw sense and found Redknapp not guilty. I mean what is the world coming to when one man can't give another man £180 grand, put it into an off-shore account and then not get their story straight about what the money was for without raising suspicion? Still at least Redknapp can concentrate on football without any other distractions for a while. This could well be a corking game, Newcastle have been playing well all season and I definitely think if Redknapp turns down the England job then Pardew should get it. I can't see him passing up the opportunity of a lifetime.
Verdict: 1-1

Wolves v West Brom
There seems to be a Midlands derby every other week at the moment, it's getting dull quite frankly. Let's hope one of these teams, preferably the foreigner managed West Brom, can get relegated and reduce the number of Midland derbies in the top league. I for one think it would be far more preferable if we saw the likes of West Ham, Southampton or Birmingham come back up instead.
Verdict: 2-0

Aston Villa v Man City
Aston Villa have to make the most of having Robbie Keane for a couple more games because they'll miss his English grit when it's gone. Now call me crazy, and many psychiatrists have although few of them have walked away afterwards, but I think Villa will edge this one, they just have too much Englishity to be blown apart by some rich foreigners. Rain or shine England keeps going. Unless it snows.
Verdict: 1-0

Dave Pundit's Predictions 04/02/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Thank God the transfer window has slammed shut, I can't be doing with all that 'this teams after that player' nonsense and all the breaking news, dear God. The only breaking news I'm interested in is when it's referring to some fragile foreigner's leg.

Arsenal v Blackburn
Arsenal have been pretty lucky this year, they're full of foreigners who can't take a two footed tackle without snapping a fibula but somehow they've still managed to climb their way up to seventh. Luckily we all know their season falls apart in February so I expect Blackburn to batter them here.
Verdict: 0-2

Norwich v Bolton
On one hand Norwich have had a fantastic season so far but on the other hand the job isn't finished yet and on the other hand Norwich have been very good at home but on the the other hand Bolton are improving rapidly. It's a tough one to call this one but I think Norwich might just have the upper hand.
Verdict: 1-0

QPR v Wolves
This is one of those games that when you look at it you assume it's actually a League One match and someone's written the fixture list down wrong. But apparently they are both in the Premier League. Luckily with Mick McCarthy and Mark Hughes at the helm there won't be anyone attempting to play Premier League football. This should be a good old fashioned street fight, and that's what football is all about.
Verdict: 1-1

Stoke v Sunderland
Now THIS is a Premier League game. Martin O'Neill's Sunderland are resurgent like an unstoppable force but they're coming up against the immovable object of Stoke at home. Neither team will give an inch and this entire game will end up being a bloodbath in the centre circle. I'm literally wetting my proverbial pants in excitement.
Verdict: 0-0

West Brom v Swansea
One of these teams is foreign and the other is managed by a foreigner who can barely speak the Queen's English. Y'know it's, like, a tragedy that footy, like, has come to this I tells you. If I could summon up the ability to care I'd probably say this will be some kind of horrendous high scoring draw with a load of goal mouth action and pleasant passages of passing play. Horrific.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Everton
It's looking very bleak for Wigan and we can only hope it looks even bleaker after this fixture. I have nothing against the club per se but they've made their bed by hiring a foreigner and now they have to lie in it. C'est la vie as they say. I personally would never have anything to do with anything that wasn't 100% English. That's why I like David Moyes so much he may be at the club on the wrong side of Liverpool but he knows how to get a team to grind their way through a season.
Verdict: 0-1

Man City v Fulham
Despite losing in midweek I can't see Man City slipping up here. They are far superior to Fulham especially since Fulham have sold the future of English football, Bobby Zamora. It's a ridiculous decision from a manager who might fool some people with his English sounding first name, but he's not fooling me.
Verdict: 3-0

Newcastle v Aston Villa
Newcastle have been playing brilliantly this year, and I can see them getting another good result here. Despite Villa's strong English spine of Dunne, Ireland and Keane they don't seem to have gelled as a team under Alex McLeish. It's probably because he's ginger.
Verdict: 2-1

Chelsea v Man Utd
Now this is a real humdinger. Man Utd are once again pushing for the title but going to Chelsea is never easy. I think it's perfectly fair that John Terry's court date has been postponed, if you can't circumvent the law when your the England captain then when can you? People think John Terry might be off his game because of it but as far as I'm concerned he has nothing to worry about, he's as right as right can be and this case will prove that. He'll come out of it whiter than white I'm sure.
Verdict: 1-1

Liverpool v Tottenham
It doesn't get much better than this, two great clubs going for it hammer and tongs. Tottenham sitting in third literally couldn't be better placed and Liverpool are on the up and challenging for fourth, what a top of the table clash this could be. Of course Harry Redknapp has his own off the pitch troubles and I feel for him, I really do. I personally never got big lumps of cash of anyone when I was playing so I don't know what it's like but I remember seeing Bruce Grobbelaar after some guy had paid a massive chunk into his bank account once and he really struggled to play well the next game, threw away two stupid goals as I recall. It's funny what a bit of cash does for your mental state. So this is really the wrong time for him to be facing King Kenny, the finest manager this country has ever produced.
Verdict: 2-1

Dave Pundit's Predictions 21/01/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The transfer window is really hotting up now, with rumours flying and players swapping clubs like they're Top Trump cards. It really is an exciting time of the year unless of course, like me, you remember a time when there was no transfer window and see this time as some kind of foreign abomination. Hopefully we can see some foreigners shipped out during January.

Norwich v Chelsea
Gary Cahill has signed for Chelsea and I think that's a great move for him. He can learn from the master himself, John Terry. There's no doubt Cahill is a raw talent, he has pace, mobility and technical prowess and hopefully under the tutelage of the Englishman's Englishman he'll be able to lose all those and rely on grit and reputation alone. Carrow Road is a difficult place to go, the crowd often become the 12th man for Norwich and when you combine that with the 12 fingers and toes that they all have it gives them quite an advantage, but if anyone can cope Terry-Cahill can.
Verdict: 1-2

Everton v Blackburn
Both teams could really do with a win here, Everton are in a run of indifferent form and are looking distinctly average, Blackburn have looked a little better than average recently but that still only makes them poor. So they'll both have to go for it here. Let's hope it lives up to everyone's expectations.
Verdict: 0-0

Fulham v Newcastle
Newcastle proved they are ready to make the step up to the big time last week, if a 1-0 win over QPR where they barely had a shot on target other than the goal doesn't show that I don't know what does. Alan Pardew is a British manager with pedigree he's managed sleeping giants Southampton, Charlton and West Ham whereas Martin Jol has never managed a big club. Pardew's class will show through here.
Verdict: 0-2

QPR v Wigan
Mark Hughes will want to bring some fresh ideas to QPR and after getting his first win under his belt in the FA Cup this week he'll want his players to literally kick on against Wigan, Wigan are one of those teams that have to be playing well to win and I don't think there's any place for that in the Premier League. If I wanted to see teams play well I'd move to Spain.
Verdict: 1-0

Stoke v West Brom
There's no issues about Stoke playing well. They wouldn't know how if they tried, which they don't. They play a game based on brute strength, attrition and rugby style punts up the park. If that's not what football's about then my name's not Dave Pundit. Which it is. It's on my birth certificate right next to father unknown.
Verdict: 1-0

Sunderland v Swansea
The sooner Scotland breaks away from Britain the better, then we can get rid of Wales too. England should be England as far as I'm concerned and all the other countries in Britain are just moochers that are good for nothing. Let's hope that fine upstanding Brit Martin O'Neill can see off these Welshies for good.
Verdict: 2-1

Wolves v Aston Villa
I love a good derby game and I can't see this being anything other than a good derby game. Two mid-to-low table teams kicking lumps out of each other in the middle of the park while both goalies stand idle, thinking of their half time fag. Just like the good old days. It's always tough going up against your bitterest rivals and unless you count West Brom and Birmingham then there are no bitterer when it comes to the Midlands. And let's face it, who counts West Brom and Birmingham?
Verdict: 0-0

Bolton v Liverpool
Gone are the glory days for Bolton. It's all been downhill since Gary Megson left. Liverpool will have one eye on the Carling Cup but even with one eye on that they could beat Bolton with one eye closed and both hands tied behind their back. And knowing the FA that's probably exactly how they'd like to see Liverpool play, it's a conspiracy I tell you. What possible other reason could there be for Liverpool's lack of trophies recently?
Verdict: 0-3

Man City v Tottenham
When Mancini started waving that imaginary card at the ref I lost all respect for him, that's just not the way we do things in England, if you want a player sent off then you ask your most English player to have a word with the ref, and if that doesn't work then the whole team should surround him and shout abuse in his face until he relents. Waving a card around is just unsportsmanlike. Luckily everything Harry Redknapp does is above board and without reproach so I'm going to plump for Tottenham here.
Verdict: 1-2

Arsenal v Man Utd
Arsenal will be seeking revenge for their 8-2 drubbing at Old Trafford earlier in the season but they'll be lucky if they escape this game with a point. If they can't even cope with Swansea how will they fare when they come up against Man Utd? It speaks volumes that Arsenal are relying on a has-been like Henry to keep them going. Man Utd have the quality of players like Ferdinand and Scholes to call on here and they'll walk this one. That said I can't see this being another 10 goal thriller!
Verdict: 4-6

Dave Pundit's Predictions 14/01/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Many people asked why I didn't make any predictions for the FA Cup, well the truth is I've fallen out of love with the cup, the romance has gone. Nowadays there doesn't seem to be any of the old magic. Where are the ding dong battles between rivals? The dubious sendings off? The memorable goals? The cameos from players long since thought past it? Or lower league teams knocking out Premier League clubs? None of that happens anymore.

Aston Villa v Everton
I think the signing of Keane was a canny one for Villa. Yes he's been playing abroad but that won't have knocked the British grit out of him. He'll be up for this, an old-fashioned mid-table clashes where neither team is in any real danger of relegation but are unlikely to be getting a European place either. In my day these were ten-a-penny, turgid, dull affairs with little passion aside from the odd nasty tackle or personal grudge. Thank God those glorious days aren't gone completely eh?
Verdict: 0-0

Blackburn v Fulham
Fulham destroyed Arsenal in their last Premier League match but this won't be such an easy ride for them, Blackburn aren't some pansy bunch of foreigners you know. Blackburn are British through and through. Except for their owners I suppose. But their manager is Scottish and I can't see Scotland becoming a separate country any time soon so that's something. Fulham on the other hand have a foreign manager but a good old British owner. What's more British than Harrods? This one'll have to be a draw.
Verdict: 1-1

Chelsea v Sunderland
It's no surprise to me that Martin O'Neill has got Sunderland playing well, what sets him apart from his predecessor is that O'Neill learnt his trade under Brian Clough, a true legend of the game. If only Steve Bruce had a role model of that ilk he might have made a better fist of management. Sunderland will still lose here though. They may be good but being good will only get you so far. John Terry didn't get where he is today by being good.
Verdict: 2-0

Liverpool v Stoke
This really is a clash of the Titans. But with Stevie G back and at his brilliant best for Liverpool there can only be one winner here. He's the sort of player that really gets the team running hard, chasing his passes, having to control his Hollywood balls, you can't relax when Gerrard's on your team, oh no. He's the sort of guy who can pump the ball 50 yards upfield and make things happen, Stoke don't have anything to match that I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-0

Man Utd v Bolton
It's the sign of a good team that they can play badly and win and Man Utd are masters at it. Whereas Bolton this year are only half way there. I think United's win against City in the cup will be a real shot in the arm, especially as they now have a derby game in the next round to look forward to, which should finally bring some excitement to the cup. I can't see Bolton getting anything here.
Verdict: 3-1

Tottenham v Wolves
I've just been watching an interview with the Wolves owner Steve Morgan which was really encouraging. They asked Morgan why he never comes out and talks about his manager Mick McCarthy and he said: "Why would I want to do that and destabilise the club?" I think he was right to come out and talk about not coming out. It's difficult for a manager when your Chairman comes out, you just have to bend over and take it, so kudos to Mr Morgan for not coming out. Still he can not come out all he likes; it won't stop Wolves getting a good, hard rogering from Tottenham here.
Verdict: 3-0

West Brom v Norwich
This is a hard one to predict. Mainly because I couldn't care less about it.
Verdict: 1-2

Newcastle v QPR
I think it's a real shame that Neil Warnock got sacked, he was a proper English manage in this league full of foreigners. It's a crying shame that one of them didn't get the sack instead. Warnock didn't waste time with all that tactical nous and training he just shouted at his players and told them they were crap. That's what man-management is all about. Hopefully Mark Hughes will carry on his sterling work. It's always a lift for the players when a new boss comes in so I can see QPR getting something here.
Verdict: 2-1

Swansea v Arsenal
You have to ask yourself where the goals are going to come from for Arsenal. They just have no pedigree up front. Swansea aren't a good team, they're Welsh, but even they are more British than Arsenal. I just can't see this being a game worth watching at all I'm afraid.
Verdict: 3-3

Wigan v Man City
Do you know what I hate about Martinez? He's always whinging and moaning about things. He should take a leaf from Mancini's book, things are tough for the Man City manager right now, a loss of form, a threadbare squad and the realisation that they're no match for the mighty Liverpool have all knocked him for six but do you hear him moan about his lot? No. Let's hope the best man wins this one.
Verdict: 0-2

Dave Pundit's Predictions 02/01/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Like an over-excited virgin the games come thick and fast at this time of year. For a pundit it's hard to keep your predictions fresh and avoid cliche, it can leave you sick as a parrot. But as Winston Churchill said: as long as you give 110% you'll be over the moon.

Aston Villa v Swansea
Any team that can beat Chelsea must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that McLeish has based his success at Villa on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, rigged and inflexible. The likes of Bent, Ireland and Dunne are proud Brits and that's why they'll beat the thoroughly un-British Welshies here.
Verdict: 2-0

Blackburn v Stoke
Any team that can beat Man Utd must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that Kean has based his success at Blackburn on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, full of grit. But when it comes to grit Stoke have more than a bad oyster. Could this be the year's grittiest fixture? Yes it could. It's all downhill for 2012 after this I reckon.
Verdict: 1-1

QPR v Norwich
After a solid start QPR have struggled whereas Norwich gone from strength to strength and few would have predicted that at the beginning of the season. Of course it's been all hands on deck at times for both teams but in that situation Norwich have a clear numerical advantage.
Verdict: 0-1

Wolves v Chelsea
There has been a lot of talk that Villas-Boas has lost the dressing room, something I used to do frequently when I was a player, but Villas-Boas doesn't look drunk. If I were him I'd stop trying to manage the team and just let the likes of John Terry take over. AVB has got his tactics all wrong but John Terry wouldn't bother with luxuries like tactics he'd just win games through the sheer strength of his will. If John Terry's will was a person it would be Geoff Capes. Or John Terry.
Verdict: 0-2

Fulham v Arsenal
Robin Van Persie scored 35 goals in a calendar year. So what? It's seasons that count not years. What can't be ignored, though, is that Arsenal are a one man team and they might rest that man today. Even Fulham should be able to beat a team that has no men in it, just foreigners.
Verdict: 1-0

Tottenham v West Brom
Tottenham took their foot of the gas against Swansea and paid the price. You won't make up any points against the teams above you with a draw. Still Tottenham are bona fide title challengers if you ask me and that's down to one man: Harry Redknapp. He's not a man to get bogged down by calendar years. It's seasons that count with him. Calendar years, academic years, tax years, none of these matter a jot to Harry. He's football through and through.
Verdict: 2-1

Wigan v Sunderland
Any team that can beat Man City must be in great form. It's no surprise to me that O'Neill has based his success at Sunderland on a good, solid backbone. It's exactly how a spine should be, determined and pumped full of testosterone. Wigan have had a few good results themselves recently but that's just down to pure luck. Their manager is too foreign to understand the true nature of backbones like us Englishers.
Verdict: 0-1

Man City v Liverpool
The game of the weekend without a shadow of a doubt. If there's one thing you can guarantee in this game it's goals. You just can't see Man City drawing a blank at the moment, they have so much fire power up front. But talking of fire power Liverpool have got Gerrard back. Add him to the likes of Carroll, Henderson and Downing and you've got goals aplenty. This game could go either way, but as it's a top four clash I'll have to say it'll be a draw.
Verdict: 2-2

Everton v Bolton
Everton are playing good football at the moment, not for them the big scoring flashy stuff the score one goal per game at the most and that's good enough for them. Bolton on the other hand are shipping goals like they're going out of fashion. Let's hope they are.
Verdict: 0-0

Newcastle v Man Utd
The rumours are that Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson have had a bit of a falling out but I expect him to come back here with all guns blazing. Say what you like about Rooney he has never been anything but 100% committed to Man Utd. In fact when I think of Wayne Rooney I think of commitment. He even spent Boxing Day with his wife for God's sake. How much more committed can you get? I'd've been straight down the pub. She's a lucky woman that Coleen Nolan-Rooney.
Verdict: 0-2