Dave Pundit on Rememberance Day

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. There are no Premier League fixtures this week so I've decided not to do any predictions for them. It's one of the golden rules of punditry, really. If there aren't any games don't stick your neck out. Of course there are the international games but how long does it take to predict that all the home nations will win against whatever dross they're playing against?

So instead I've decided to talk about the poppy debacle that has been running this week. Quite frankly I can't believe there was ever an issue with the England team wearing poppies. It's political correctness gone mad if you ask me. The poppy is a symbol of the brave people who fought and died for this country and our equally brave footballers, like John Terry, aren't allowed to wear a poppy in case they offend a German? It's a blooming disgrace.

I mean, excuse me, but who won the war? That's right it was us. And if that upsets some Germans well they shouldn't have started the war in the first place. Quite frankly I think the England team should wear poppies all year round. I mean if you can't win a war and then mock the losers what's the point in war?

I also don't understand the mentality of people who refuse to wear poppies. Don't they realise people died for them? People fought and died for freedom of speech and they can't even be bothered to wear a poppy? I think it should be compulsory for all British people to wear a poppy. In fact each nationality and race should have their own symbol and be forced to wear it at all times just to make identifying them easier. That'll remind everyone why we fought the fascists in the first place.

On a personal note I do like to do my bit for charity, only this week a poor young urchin came up to me and pointed at my moustache and asked if I was doing Movember. I gave him 50p and told him to spend it on speech therapy lessons, it's November you daft little idiot. Never let it be said that I don't have compassion for the spastics.

Course you're not supposed to call them that now are you? They've had their name changed to retards or something haven't they? I can't abide all this changing of names, Eastlands is now the Etihad stadium, St James's Park is now the Sport Direct Arena where will it end? I blame Arsenal and their poppy-burning sponsors. That's where this all started, whatever happened to traditional names like Old Trafford, Anfield or The Reebok?

The worst thing is that I've heard Chelsea are going to change the name of Stamford Bridge. It's an outrage. Unless they go with the suggestion I've sent them: The John Terry Grithole.

Right that's it for now, I'll look forward to watching the England match with all the England players wearing their poppies with pride as they give the Spaniards their worst defeat since the Armarda.