Dave Pundit's Predictions 31/03/12

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. The question of referee bias has reared it's ugly head again and I can't see what all the fuss is about, of course the big teams get all the decisions, that's how it should be. If football was meant to be fair then we wouldn't let idiots be referees. Imagine if penalties were given at Old Trafford, where would it lead? Referees giving fouls when Jamie Carragher hauls someone down in the box? English players penalised for diving? John Terry being sent off in every single match? It would be a travesty. You'd end up with a tinpot team winning the league, or worse, a foreign one like Arsenal or Swansea.

Aston Villa v Chelsea
Aston Villa this season have produced some of the dullest, most defensive, negative football I've ever seen and yet they're still languishing at the bottom of the table. There's just no justice in the world. Chelsea on the other hand have been trying to play a more fluent passing game and it's meant they're struggling to get in the top four. However John Terry's back so he'll sort them out. There won't be any passing when he's in the team. Pass is just another word for surrender and John Terry's no Frenchman. He's English. So English that he grows roses from his chest and bleeds Tetley Tea. Villa haven't got a hope here.
Verdict: 0-1

Everton v West Brom
Someone told me that David Moyes has now been at Everton for over ten years. That's quite an achievement, if he keeps this up he might even make it to a decade. The chances of Roy Hodgson staying at a club for 10 years is just ridiculous. No chairman's that stupid, not even a brummie one. He'll be gone this summer.
Verdict: 2-0

Fulham v Norwich
Both of these clubs have already done enough to keep them from the drop, not mathematically of course but that has nothing to do with football. Football isn't about numbers, it's about getting a greater amount of goals than the other team which equates to a greater accumulation of points in the league table. Where maths comes into that I just can't see it just doesn't add up. Still if either team hits a bad run of form who knows what will happen, they won't go down I don't think there's enough points to play for for that to happen but it could be close. I have no way of working these things out.
Verdict: 1-1

Man City v Sunderland
The pressure looks like it's getting to Man City and that's because of some shaky home form. It's at the part of the season when they can't afford to slip up, if you're going to slip up then you should do it early but City didn't do that, they started the season in blistering form, the fools. It's that sort of inexperience that makes me think they won't win the league this year. Next year they'll know exactly when to be rubbish and they'll do a lot better.
Verdict: 1-1

QPR v Arsenal
Djibril Cisse has been sent off twice since he joined QPR in January but even that commitment hasn't been able to stop them sliding down the table. However they should be able to stop the rot against an Arsenal side who haven't been able to find any sort of consistency this year at all and now Robin Van Persie is in the midst of a goal drought I just can't see where the goals will come from.
Verdict: 1-0

Wigan v Stoke
Wigan's win at Liverpool was the flukiest bit of flukiness since the Earl of Fluke invented fluking. Luckily luck won't have anything to do with this game. Fortune favours the brave and you don't get much braver than Tony Pulis. Who bravely sacrificed paying a speeding ticket for the people of Stoke. With any luck they'll destroy Wigan.
Verdict: 1-0

Wolves v Bolton
It's been a tough time for the Bolton players, I can remember how difficult it is to play when one of your team mates is fighting for his life. You ask yourself if there was anything you could've done, if it was in some way your fault but in the end you have to say to yourself "No. If he hadn't slept with my mother in the first place I never would've stabbed him." Wolves on the other hand have had it easy, they've just had to cope with having their strong British manager, Mick McCarthy, being replaced by some Irish man called Terry O'Connor.
Verdict: 0-2

Newcastle v Liverpool
If someone had told me at the start of the season that this would be a top of the table clash I would've laughed in their face. But that's exactly what it is. This will be an emotional return for Andy Carroll, it'll be difficult for him to play against the team that gave him his start and then allowed him the opportunity to move to the greatest team in the country. Fortunately he'll be on the bench so it won't be so bad.
Verdict: 1-2

Tottenham v Swansea
Tottenham have had a brilliant season by anyone's standards and a few games of poor form doesn't change that. A good season isn't just about how many points you score it's about being the sort of team that the media like. Harry Redknapp knows that. In fact just last week he leant out of his car window to talk to me. What a laugh we had when I had to explain I don't actually work in the McDonald's drive through I was just arguing with the manager about him refusing to allow me to add vodka to a choclolate milkshake to make a cheap White Russian.
Verdict: 2-0

Blackburn v Man Utd
It's winning these sort of games that is the true mark of a champion. Beating the dross is what it's all about. And I can't see Man Utd ever losing to Blackburn. Man Utd are Champions and have always been Champions. Blackburn are not and have never been. That's the difference. This one might be close, end of the season games are always nervy affairs, but I'm sure all the decisions will go in Man Utd's favour so they have nothing to worry about here.
Verdict: 0-1