Dave Pundit's Predictions 02/05/09

Hi, I'm Dave Pundit. Last week my son, the Chester City youth player, got arrested for drink driving. I was livid. He didn't even tell me he was going to the pub. In my day footballers never got in trouble with the law, except for George Best obviously. And me a couple of times. But quite frankly if standing in the middle of a roundabout stark naked except for a maids apron and a traffic cone superglued to your head is illegal then they might as well just ban stag do's altogether.

Middlesbrough v Man Utd
A pundit's job is never easy, except in games like this.
Verdict 0-3


Chelsea v Fulham
Derby games aren't usually about technical skill as they are about violent tackles, gritty challenges and dirty fouls and no one suits that sort of game better than John Terry. John Terry is a derby match all on his own. And not just any old derby match, a proper one. With northern teams.
Verdict 2-0


Man City v Blackburn
Big Sam looks to have saved Blackburn from relegation which I for one never doubted for a second. The man's a tactical genius. He gets his team playing ugly, long ball football and it works. Why bother trying to work out other tactics when you've already perfected the best one? Mark Hughes could learn a thing or two from him. Stop faffing about trying to sign fancy dans like Kaka and Eto'o and get a good old English centre forward in. Is Geoff Horsfield still playing?
Verdict 1-1


Portsmouth v Arsenal
The most notable thing about this game is that it pits England's finest keeper, David James against some foreign bloke who thinks if he gets an English passport we'll pick him for the England team. Manuel Almunia, that's not an English name, and he's not an English man. Just because he has long sleeves on his keeper's jersey he's not fooling anyone, he's still a foreigner and as much as he wishes he came from a good country it just isn't going to happen. I hope he lets in a hatful.
Verdict 2-0


Stoke v West Ham
Tony Pulis has worked miracles at Stoke and in my eyes is a candidate for manager of the season after Alex Ferguson and Big Sam, of course. Gianfranco Zola on the other hand hasn't impressed me at all. If I wanted to see good football I'd move to Spain.
Verdict 1-0


Tottenham v West Brom
Redknapp is another contender for manager of the season. They only had two points when he took over. Can you believe that? That's literally the worst possible amount they could have had. Luckily our 'Arry had the nous to bring in Robbie Keane. When you're struggling it's always best to buy British.
Verdict 2-0


Wigan v Bolton
This has all the hallmarks of a classic. Neither team has anything to play for so hopefully they'll both go for it by sticking ten men behind the ball and just fouling anyone who tries to get it down and play. That's what English football is all about.
Verdict 0-0


Liverpool v Newcastle
It doesn't get any easier for Shearer. If he wasn't so damn brilliant I'd say Newcastle haven't got a prayer. Luckily he's like a messiah for them. Unfortunately Liverpool should have Stevie G back. He's more than a messiah, he's more like Jesus or something.
Verdict 2-1


Sunderland v Everton
Sunderland were awful against West Brom last week. West Brom! They're rubbish. If you're losing to that bunch of no-hopers you know you're in a bad way. I worry for Sunderland, I really do. They may have a Scot in charge but he's got a foreign name and I think it's affected his management skills. This one will go to the Scotsman with a proper name, good old David Moyes.
Verdict 0-1


Aston Villa v Hull
Both these teams started the season well but have finished poorly. Hull needed to be more consistent, like Stoke were. Sadly they haven't got anyone who can throw the ball really far so what chance have they got in football? I can see Villa getting back on track here.
Verdict 2-0